<[Basil]Ruger> Flashing backgrounds make eplileptic Jesus cry

<Zug_REAL_ULTIMATE_MM> Just about anything flicks his switch.
However, it's not wired up to anything.

negativecreep973: you know that feeling you get when your
licking some randoms persons nuts and you stop to think "wow,
theres balls in my mouth and there are starving children in
africa"?

[Cask] |
[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - *|
[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - */
[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - *__
[Cask] I= ^|^
[Cask] erp
[Cask] I find it difficult to express myself accurately in irc

<Balamutas> games suck :P
<Dr.Evil> and swallow
<Dr.Evil> :P
<NoXeR> i wish i have this game

<friisi> but...you see...i wanna make a homepage, and a person
told me that frontpage is a good beginner-program. Now...i am
looking for a program i can make graphic with, fx. Microsoft
Photoshop...but i dont wanna Microsoft Photoshop...i want
another (free) program...

<Grim> I have figured out a way to cut email spam in half
<Grim> Instead of "Make your penis larger" and "Lose 20
pounds", we can just have "Redistribute your weight".
<Grim> :p

<@|Holo|> one of my cats got me banned from warezguild once,
sat on the keyboard and spammed
<@|Holo|> sat on the numpad
<@|Holo|> so it was all like
<@|Holo|> 0
<@|Holo|> 6454
<@|Holo|> +65
<@|Holo|> ++52213
<+solbaid`> should've just told all the nerds "sorry, i was
getting pussy"
<+solbaid`> they'd have worshipped you

(WAREZmunkeY) omg some1 has pushed a condom through our
letterbox
(datafreak) lol
(datafreak) used? :P
(WAREZmunkeY) i dunno
(WAREZmunkeY) i havent been to look that close at it
(Noodle[AFK]) well presumably it's unpackaged
(WAREZmunkeY) it is
(james) lmao

<entheh> oh noes
<entheh> my xmms has frozen
<entheh> DIE XMMS! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
<entheh> err oh, it did

<+nexx> im thinking of quitting university to spend my life
reading every quote on bash.org, quote this on bash so when im
30 ill read this and remember where my life went wrong.

<Leaf> why do rnb artists alays have names like man whores

* Cyst slaps Aranarth.
* Cyst runs away.
* Aranarth wonders what the hell.
<Aranarth> ..
<Aranarth> missed two periods :p
<Cirith> you're probably pregnant
<Aranarth> Cyst impregnated me with a slap?
<Cirith> well, you did miss two periods
<Aranarth> No, they were just late

<b00st> the average american pussy takes half a mile of dick
every year
<CaSti||o> damn negroes
<CaSti||o> thatslike 5 of them

*** Darth_Jon was kicked by wombat (oh no, you've gone back in
time to when the channel didn't have you in it)

<Volt9000> Grog is where it's at
<AL9000> Yar!
<Volt9000> Do you mock me?
<AL9000> No, I'm agreeing with you
<Volt9000> LIAR! You mock me with your pirate attitude!
<Volt9000> I'll make you WALK TEH PLAKN!!!!11
<AL9000> ONLY IF I GET TO SWAB YUOR POOP DECKS!!!1
* AL9000 yanks off Volt's pants
<AL9000> YAARRR! PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!

* a17geL637 huggles anthony
* Ariyn rubs anthony's face in his manboobs
<Anthony> YAAAAAAAY! and NOOOOOOOOO! respectivelyyyyyyyy!!!

<McMoo> i almost done froze on my way to school on monday
<Durandal_> hehe
<Durandal_> luckily i have an extra layer of winter insulation
built onto my midsection
<timmo> fatass
<Badtz> fatty
<Dekkon> fattie
<Livewireo> Goddamn fatty
* Durandal_ can feel the love in this channel.
<Dekkon> it runs deep

<+DrPoole> my muscles are huge since i became a gym fag
* thom cannot make that statement any funnier, so he keeps his
mouth shut for a change. :)

<puttputt> Who thinks this would taste ok? Spaghetti sauce
comprising of mince meat, condensed tomato soup, some water,
onions, garlic
* Robzy has no idea...
<puttputt> neither do I.. but it might be alright.. oh, I got
veggies too so I'll throw them in as well.
<orlock> sounds fine to me
<orlock> actually, that sounds damn nice
<orlock> i'm hungry now
<orlock> asshole

<Blood_Luster> I hope I get a life like that
<Blood_Luster> stealing money... hackin'... boning that chick
from friends
<Blood_Luster> good times

<Gandalf> I think I'm a tad fucked up
<Gandalf> had a wet dream last night that may have involved
computer hardware... :/
<Petrock> Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Petrock> Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Petrock> Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Gandalf> not funny dude
<Gandalf> if this is going up I will kill you

* Volt9000 gazes through binoculars at DopefishJustin "And
here we have the nerd, in his natural habitat, the Star Trek
convention. Notice his pale skin and thick glasses, typical of
the species nerdius nevergonnagetlaidius."

<comiclover333> oh man today in english we were talking about
wld std stuff and my english teacher said that all americans
thought we were invincible and then 9/11 happened and now we
know were not invincible or something and she said now people
are scared and stuff, i dont really know, but then i quoted
some rapper and said bullets to our nuts only make our balls
fatter
<comiclover333> u know i had never met our assistant principal
until today

<Allio> i was pulling out my rca cable from my tv
<Allio> and i accidentally whipped myself in the nuts

-[AfZ]b-man- what do u say in america when u stroke the dick
so it comes cum?

<abel> !8ball Did I just fart?
<ChanServ> abel: It is decidedly so.
<abel> HAHAH HE KNOWS ALL

( Keebs ) Sheri has a secret she needs to tell me.
( Keebs ) :|
( +[steev] ) shes prego
( Keebs ) [steev]: lol.... she's already got a kid.
( +[steev] ) shes prego again
( Keebs ) Nah.
( +[steev] ) she found someone else
( Keebs ) We never dated.
( +[steev] ) o wait, i know the secret
( +[steev] ) you are the father!
( Keebs ) We never fucked.
( +[steev] ) that you remember
( Keebs ) That I know of.
( Cosmok ) that would make a good bash
( Keebs ) Oh shit

<|2SX||atWork|> i think i only have jvm installed :)
<Cavey> Can you run java jars?
<|2SX||atWork|> .jar files are just zip files
<Cavey> Essentially, yes
<|2SX||atWork|> its not broken, just all the channels talking
comes up in one window, and i forget which channel ive set to
type in, so i see u talking and just reply to the wrong chan
<Cavey> Hehe
<|2SX||atWork|> sorry wrong chan
<Cavey> I guessed
<|2SX||atWork|> i cant believe i explained why i was typing in
the wrong chan into the wrong chan.. i hate this client
<Cavey> ROFL

<Flirbnic> I want my foreskin back :(
<Jim`> I don't have any extra to give you, Flirb, or I would.
<Jim`> People who choose to be circumsized later in life
should donate their foreskins to be grafted on to poor penises
like yours. Wouldn't it be cool if they grafted a black guy's
on?

<Hoplite^^> no, she is the daughter of my secretary
<Hoplite^^> she is 18
<saiyane> oh my
<saiyane> rather risque
<Hoplite^^> in what way?
<saiyane> well I take it your secretary doesnt know

<JonM> I had dyslexia as a child, I wrote about it in my
dairy...

<KANG> you know you're bored when you boot up ad-aware 5.8 and
6.0 and watch them race

* Phht frowns. Why the fuck did GTA3 get game of the year? -_-
<Corvus> Because it "broke the rules".
<Corvus> You got to be naughty.
<CGold> So what's going to be game of the year next year?
<CGold> "Michael Jackson's Pro Pedophelia 2003"?
<Corvus> Oh yeah.
<Corvus> Make sure you have Vibration turned On when you play
it.

Mike G4 007: return [[HotChick alloc] initWithCupSize:C];
dorkremi: :-|
dorkremi: if ([girl wantSex] != YES) [self setLocation:JAIL];
Mike G4 007: undefied reference: JAIL
dorkremi: typedef enum { HOME, JAIL, UP_YOUR_ASS } places;
dorkremi: There.

* lasvegasgamer eats Girl Scouts
<lasvegasgamer> err...Girl Scout Cookies

<chem0stor> they called it PMS because mad cow disease was
already taken
<Walty> Quoting bash is like masturbating, people know you do
it.

<SpaceCow> of COURSE they had computers in the 40's
<SpaceCow> how else do you think they invented jews?
<Volt9000> Jews aren't INVENTED
<Volt9000> jews are GROWN
<Volt9000> you plant a Jew Seed (2 ounces of foreskin) and it
grows into a Jew Tree
<RollingBrass> the way you can tell that they are ripe is that
the nose to body size ratio is 3:1

<Disciple> i wish i could cut from my computer and paste to my
homework
<Disciple> writing is teh sux

<Volt9000> huh huh huh huh this job title is "Unit Manager"
<Volt9000> I can manage my own unit just fine
<DopefishJustin> Volt: you must be good at micromanagement ;)

<BustaNutt> I was working in a movie theatre one time and a
mother just threw her crying baby on the hard ground, i was
like WTF!! the other ushers had to calm me down coz i was
fuckin pissed the rest of the day
<Abstruse> Busta: I almost had to call the cops on this one
woman when I was working in the bookstore because her child
calmly walked up and quietly asked 'Momma, can I have this
book?" and she smacked the SHIT out of him.  I told her to get
out, and she threw a fit.
<BustaNutt> ABstruse, she beat the kid just for asking for a
book?
<Abstruse> That's not even the most fucked up part.  The most
fucked up part is that she worked for a shelter for battered
women and children.

KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office
manager please(very gruff voice)
KArmA-: me: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?
KArmA-: me: no asshole, I said, who do you think you're
talking to, with that tone of voice
KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like
that
KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak
to your office manager.
KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for
yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so
special?
KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS
YOUR NAME!?!?
KArmA-: me: *click*

<[pxd]Dan> is it me or does every boy / girl online in the use
or canada have parents who are divorced or separated or close
to
<I_AM_AVRIL> most of them just do it for the sympathy
<I_AM_AVRIL> and while we're on the subject, my mums dead
<I_AM_AVRIL> and i slit my wrists

<cricket> I'm sure horse semen is just as tasty as regular
semen

<madslim> man i've drunk so much beer today
<madslim> i feel like i've put on 500 pounds
<cutwrk> ./nick madfat

<black_dub> Konami isn't American, IIRC.
<Wanderer> No, they are as Japanese as bukkake and Pocky.
<MMK> Which would be a *great* name for an anime cover band.
<Nash> Thank you, Knight. You have brightened my entire week.

<jjwalker> hhmmm, not breathing isnt good
<Mulvane> jjwalker:  it is for you
<Mulvane> Or least for us if you dont
<+seraph> jjwalker: that just earned you a spot on bash.org
<jjwalker> huh?
<jjwalker> I didn't say anyhting funny
<Mulvane> the ever faithful reply one can expect from jjwalker
..
<Mulvane> "huh?"

<Jinxed> [N] Cannot join channel #vagina (Invite only)
<Kreegle> story of your life eh Jinxed?

<Caldavien> omg I think Im gonna puke
<Mdar> ??
<Caldavien> I was browsing bash.org
<Caldavien> and some one said some thing about this
"tubgirl.jpg"
<Caldavien> and I did a search
<Mdar> you did a google for tubgirl?
<Caldavien> yes
<Caldavien> it was bad

<r4ge> i just connect to eu.undernet.org or us.undernet.org
<r4ge> lucky dip ;D
<_Godless_> I thought I was taking a lucky dip once
<_Godless_> then I got herpes