<DoctorRiff> well anyway, this drill sarge gets everyone lined
up, and starts yelling at all the recruits, like how they do
<DoctorRiff> and he was over to the left of the line, when
someone way off in the right yells "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME
DEATH!"
<DoctorRiff> and the drill sarge yells "WHO SAID THAT?!" and
goes over and starts yelling at the right of the line
<DoctorRiff> then someone at the left of the line says
"PATRICK HENRY YOU FOOL!"
<DoctorRiff> according to my dad's friend, it was worth all
the extra jogging and military-type training they had to do

<BongOP> if there's anything more bizarre than fucking a blow
up doll, it's having 'group sex' with a bunch of blow up
dolls.

<Antioch> My penis is annoying.
<Antioch> "Ugh."
<Mitch> Howso?
<Antioch> "Morning sir! How are you today sir?"
<Antioch> "Shut up."
<Antioch> "I've got your coffee, sir."
<Antioch> "Shut up, I said."
<Antioch> "Slept well, sir?"
<Antioch> "Can you just stop standing up like that?"
<Antioch> "Can't, sir. I'm too happy, sir."
<Antioch> "Damn you!"

« BmxMovieM » does anyone know where i can get the macintosh
os...but for pc?

LrdKittoa: just ate at taco bell.
Nitefallzz: i hope you get some kind of mexican disease and
die
LrdKittoa: taco bell isn't mexican food.
LrdKittoa: calling taco bell mexican food is like calling
micheal jackson black.  It's sort of true, but... no, not
really.

<ITnovice> Just out of curiosity any chicks want to come over
and have a wild one night stand with me?

<Lemming> I can't believe I just said "darn".
<jimx> Lemming - all you need now is a "gosh".
<Lemming> Yeah, that'd be neat.
<Lemming> I mean, golly!

<therion23> there was this documentary on sadomasochism on TV
here once
<|H20|> whats that?
<therion23> this girl took the cardboard from a toilet roll
and put sandpaper on the inside and tied up a guy and jacked
him off with it.
<faust_> Denmark has all the cool tv shows.

<LemmingAFK> I wasn't bothered by people calling me Lemming in
real life, until girls started yelling it during sex.

<Noobe> Look at me. I'm topdeck. I use retarded internet
lingo.
<Yawgatog> Noobe: Your nick is NOOBE.
<Noobe> Dude, Noobe is my real life name.
<Yawgatog> lol noobe

<@ShoelessJoe> fuckit, i'm about to go buy a xp upgrade
<@HyBriD-HoNdA> buying microsoft products supports terrisom

<ZS> hey i just realized
<ZS> i think my isp gives me some hosting space..
<wh0re> cool
* waffle waits for zs to try to host warez on 2mb of space

<Kyle> blue cat5? heh
<xstraightedgex> MAGE
<xstraightedgex> ive got that
<xstraightedgex> and yellow
<waffle> all the cat5 I see in institutions is blue
<Ed> Yeah, I see that pretty often.
<Kyle> heh
<waffle> the high school I went to had it
<xstraightedgex> what about YELLOW
<Ed> Yellow too.
<Ed> I've seen yellow more often in crossovers, though.
<waffle> i was about to say that
<Graphic_V> My cat5 is blue.
<Graphic_V> This is the nerdiest conversation ever.

<thugangel> vivaitali, i'm about 9 hours and 60 minutes away
from houston, texas

<BBR-SpeZ> do you know in mexico its illegal to wash your sink
on a sunday
<BBR-SpeZ> just so you know
<BBR-SpeZ> making sure you dont, ya know, go washing any sinks
in mexico
<BBR-SpeZ> i know what they r like, wave $50 in your face and
tempt you with a washcloth
<BBR-SpeZ> 'go on buddy you know you wanna try it, just
imagine all that dirt just sliding away....'
<BBR-SpeZ> i was a 20 sinks a day man :(

coolkid8245: ... .. .  .... ..
Jersey Eleven: What the hell?
Jersey Eleven: Trying to do morse code over the internet is
like coming out of the closet
Jersey Eleven: Even if you do, you're still a fag.

<Scogeta> screw you.
<ShadowZirus> a/s/l?

<cHiiZukAMi> lol, my gf knows how to play mario, thats so sexy
<cHiiZukAMi> i let her borrow my gameboy for band and she did
all these secret areas i forgot about
<cHiiZukAMi> who cares if a girl cant do your laundry or stuff
if she can get you to the donut secret ghost house?

<dorkmo> Hey what do you do when a cop asks you too walk on
the line?
<Technofrek> uh,.... ask which one?

<yarso> COULD NE1 HELP
<@zenhove> with what? caps lock?

<JeffreyAtW> Heha, just played ParaParaParadise for the first
time
<JeffreyAtW> Probably my last time too. I alredy beat the
hardest song with no problem at all, and I'm not that good at
freestyling... nor have I ever seen anyone ever dancing
ParaPara
<Sumez> I am so amazed by your extreme geekiness
<JeffreyAtW> Yes. I have danced like a Japanese schoolgirl.

<Malefecent> I want to see Blue Man Group
<mrLang> Buy a drum set and watch the Smurfs.  Same thing.

<@Ne[r]d> my father just walked behind me, and saw one of the
buttons on the taskbar "AltaVista's Babe..." :O
<@Ne[r]d> he wanted to see it :p
<@Lizard> lol
<@Vader> lol
<@Vader> Sure, dad, translate away!

<@tribljedi> can anyone recommend a registry cleaner?
<@Znarl> tribljedi : Linux
<@tribljedi> can someone who won't give me useless suggestions
recommend a registry cleaner?

@demalavor: more proof my brother is gay, he is eating popcorn
out of a bowl with a spoon

<tps^snoogans> i only yell at my penis when moms not home

<@Lufia> i'm bored so i'm fucking my server up
<@RATT> lol
<@RATT> Use a condom

<Jess> What the hell?
<Jess> Winamp says "installer too small"?
<Tetsuo> didn't you know jess?  Size DOES matter

chefantiuser: I'm playing that 20 questions game where the
computer tries to guess what you're thinking
chefantiuser: the computer is dumb tho
ellesmelle: hahaha, aren't they though
chefantiuser: You were thinking of whiskey.
chefantiuser: Do most people use this daily? you said
Sometimes, I say No
chefantiuser: YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW MY UNCLE ANTONIO

<NeoMatriX> Two friends, /exit and /quit sitting in the
garden, /exit goes away,who is still there??

<Luggage_> ban him for a day, let him know he was a dick
<Luggage_> i can't see his address, i'm using stupid ol' mirc
<SixOfFive> IRBMe you got it, or want me to?
<IRBMe> let Luggage_
<IRBMe> *!*@151.196.185.148
*** X sets mode +b *!*@151.196.185.148 for #VB
*** Luggage_ was kicked by X from #VB :Reason ((Luggage)
Intentional Flooding, 2 Day "Time Out")
<IRBMe> lol
<IRBMe> gullible fool
*** Luggage_ (~Paleron@151.196.185.148)  has joined #VB
<Luggage_> nice one IRBMe
<SixOfFive> too funny hehe
<SixOfFive> Luggage_
<Luggage_> didn't even check the address
<Luggage_> if i looked, i'de have seen it was mine :)
<ThFabba> n1 @ irb
<IRBMe> I wish I could have seen Luggage_'s face though.
<Luggage_> IRBMe: it was a look of surprise and confusion,
quckly followed by a look of realization and humiliation

<Etruscan> i guess i have downloaded that much
<Etruscan> maybe more
<Etruscan> in 16 days
<Etruscan> when i downloaded anime :/
<Etruscan> 200mb a night
* Etruscan sighs
<Etruscan> mmm
<Etruscan> i luv kiddy pr0n
<Etruscan> i mean
<Etruscan> anime pr0n
* Etruscan winks

<The-Jim> women can tell when other women are on though.
<harr|away> this family has a dog, a cat, and just added a
bird
<harr|away> The-Jim: yes, generally by pheromones
<crickett> i can tell when girls on their their period too
<crickett> generally by the shouts
<crickett> followed by the "i love you" 's
* crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link.
Goodbye!)
* crickett has joined #artuproar
<The-Jim> no crickett that's not why they won't have sex with
you.
<Ronwe> /nod
<crickett> i fail to see why i would be kicked for that
comment
<The-Jim> Harr = woman
<crickett> thanks The-Jim
<The-Jim> Crickett = man making period jokes
<crickett> i dunno why that would offend
<crickett> i mean my slave didn't say anything about my black
jokes
<crickett>  ... that might be because i cut his tongue out
* crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link.
Goodbye!)

<ogw-iii> but the normal windows aim client sucks balls
<Guyver3> right
<Guyver3> in that magical universe you live in
<Guyver3> amazingly in my universe, the real one, it does
exactly what it needs to, IM other users

<greener> i don't want sex anymore. nasty strippers grossed me
out yesterday
<greener> i'm a born-again virgin

(@EmPleh) DO YOU KISS YOUR INTERNET GIRLFRIEND WITH THEM
FINGERS?

<ItBurn> when I'm drunk the other stuff dosent matter :P
<ItBurn> I could be mining coal and it would be fun :P
* Moraelyn ignores the dirty reference
<ItBurn> mmm
* NaHaliel is contemplating not ignoring it
* Belzebub forces NaHaliel to ignore it
<NaHaliel> so... mining coal, eh?..  I don't mind if you swing
that way, I guess.
<ItBurn> I was saying minig coal as in THE ROCK THING
<NaHaliel> it's ok burn, we still accept you for who you are
<NaHaliel> :D
<ItBurn> in a mine, with shafts and helmets
<Belzebub> Sure Burn...we all believe you.
<NaHaliel> shafts, yeah.
<ItBurn> ack
<Belzebub> Isn&#1169;t that kinda advanced S&M?
<ItBurn> lol :P
<Moraelyn> Helmet Burn?
* ItBurn shuts up
<NaHaliel> you know, morey.  the helmets you put on your shaft
when you mine for coal?
<Moraelyn> Um, we need to move on...

<Warskin> I like to paste her face on ben afflecks body,  and
pretend I am marrying it

<Joe_Fox> i'm a little n00bie short and stout, here is my
nickname here is my SHOUT!!!1 when i get all flamed up hear me
SHOUT!!1 ban me forever, kick me out

<germonik> pot is the one truth in the universe.
<germonik> it will neverget pissed at you and not wanan hang
out.
<germonik> it never freaks out.
<germonik> it never whines.
<germonik> it never argues with you over stupid shit.
<germonik> even if all my friends abandoned me, pot would
still be there for me.
<germonik> pot's a member of my family.
<FDR> That's because it's dead and it lacks the ability to
move.

<phren> seriously though, ozone hates you
<dragnet> oic
<dragnet> he hates you more
<phren> so?
<phren> he's just jealous cause his mom left him for me
<dragnet> what is your thesis on why he hates me?
<phren> something about your general suckiness
<phren> drag rhymes with fag and he likes to be the only gay
one in channel

<RangeRXT> fucking norwegians
<RangeRXT> lord I wish the internet was +b *!*@*.no

<Kinsy> my gf thought i was a raging paedo friday
<Kinsy> i said i was taking photos of 15 year olds
<Aries> i wonder why shed get suspicious
<Kinsy> i forgot to tell her i was taking photos of her mates
little sister who was 15 and was out on the piss
<Aries> ....
<Aries> and you were taking photos because?
<Kinsy> because we were wasted and were having  fun
<Aries> with 15 year olds?
<Aries> you were drunk, having 'fun' taking photos of 15 year
olds?
<Aries> how does that NOT sound wrong in your head kins?

<sobek|afk> you know its gunna be a good day when you dont
even bother putting on any clothes, just throw a dressing gown
over the towel and think about getting high

<InkyGhost>Is it wrong to root for Tom Hank's character's
death in "Castaway"?
<Rob> No, because its Tom Hanks.
<Rob> He starred in Mazes and Monsters, a blantant anti DnD
film.
<Rob> Staring in porn is more respectable than being in that
shit heap.
<Morrigan> Rob, that was before he was established. You have
to take roles like that so you can get better ones.
<Rob> I don't care. Staring in porno would be more respectable
than that.
<InkyGhost> You seem to have an unnatural fixation about
seeing Tom Hanks in porn.
<Rob> Shut the fuck up, Ghost.
<Himi> Busted.

<%NuttO> Yeah, kids are stupid. I open up the back of my van
and say, "Hey, kid, want to see something cool?" and they
always fall for it.

<AddictArt> "My dad can kill you with his little finger" <-
put that into modern age talk and you get....
<AddictArt> <Mako> you wanna get pingered by a dual 1.7
megabyte modem? and a OC3 line if I call my friend?

<Midnight> Damn... You 56k people will wait forever to
download stuff.
<[56K]Dragonsbook> that's because we have the patience of
rocks^^

Schlik: i saw your mom
LckyLuciano8: where?
Schlik: naked so did adam, we were watchin
Schlik: and dont call us stockers
LckyLuciano8: stockers?
LckyLuciano8: or stalkers?
Schlik: hey fuck off

<lost-and-found> a firewall is just an internet condom