Gig103: on the BMW 745i, you can get "Active front seats with
gentle massage action"
Gig103: for $74000 i should get a blowjob every time i get in
the car
moe99j5: yeah but you'd ruin the leather upholstery
Gig103: no for $74000 she would swallow it all

<leokitty> ok who wants to come over and help me find all the
underwear that i've scattered around my room? i need to get it
all into the laundry bag.
<DrTrevorkian> todd, you start searching.  i'll make the ebay
seller account.

<MikeyPain> A car in front of me
<MikeyPain> There were two heads at the drivers seat
<MikeyPain> one bobbing
<Psyderman> this one time i gave my mom head in a car
<MikeyPain> the car started to veer a shitload
<MikeyPain> and then the other head went to the passengers
side
<@PK59> they were just holding hands and talking about jesus

<Moonpie> For some reason I always associate Denver with
Colorado :(

<Miliwen> Alucard, how the hell do you make a city in
SimCity4?
<Alucard_the_Kook> Making a city is ... a lot like making love
to a beautiful woman.
<Alucard_the_Kook> First you need to check her out, get the
lay of the land.
<Alucard_the_Kook> Next, you need to tease her a little.  Make
trails over her body, allowing you to move freely.
<Alucard_the_Kook> Then you fiddle with the zones.
<Alucard_the_Kook> Finally...
<Alucard_the_Kook> You give the bitch all your money.

EchelonOverlord: Jeni's gonna come watch Usual Suspects now.
Morwen K: ooh! has she seen it before?
EchelonOverlord: Nope.
Morwen K: coooool
EchelonOverlord: Oh yeah.
Morwen K: i'd invite myself along but i'm sure this is your
together-time, so i won't intrude ;)
Morwen K: plus i'd probably blurt out "it's kevin spacey!!!"
like halfway through
EchelonOverlord: What?!  Kevin Spacey?!!
Morwen K: ..
Morwen K: fuck

<[NSGuide]Greedo386> I'm American.  I respect the Bill of
Rights.  Freedom of Speech is one of the greatest parts of
being American.  That being said, you have no rights in here,
whatsoever.

<Kaneda> im downloading furniture for my sims, they have more
of life then I do.

<Mohammad> ever wonder why zelda *always* needs rescuing? link
should realize she's pretty high-maintenance
<lawnchair> Mohammad, yea but she's so damn hot! i bet that
pussy is nice and tight too

<+MrCuban-> File Server Online Trigger:« @ILOVETHECOCK »
Sends:«0» Queues:«0/15» MOTD: -= over 75gig of gay porn !!! =-
I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n 
<@Ostritch-> @ILOVETHECOCK
<scissors> Hahaha your a gay lover
« Ostritch- » ?
« Ostritch- » no i wanted to erm
« Ostritch- » download porn
« Ostritch- » for a friend of a friend
« Ostritch- » who has a gay
« Ostritch- » cousin
<scissors> LOL

<point> whats the dos command to format?

<Sh0t> i'll be honest
<Sh0t> I'd fuck Calista Flockhart
<tjommi> is that possible?
<tjommi> my dick is fatter than her
<Phalanx`> you might break her
<Phalanx`> be careful there
<xylol> who cares
<Sh0t> she gained weight
<Sh0t> if you've seen her recently
<DeathVipr> after you blow your load in her, her weight
doubles
<tjommi> id like to see that
<tuffguy> lol dv
<tjommi> LOL

* Bishi (~somebody@newt-news.com) has joined #zgeek-tech
<Bishi> op, op-me-do
<Bishi> you know, I'd op you
<Bishi> I'll always be true
<Bishi> so ple-e-e-ease...
<Bishi> op me do
<Bishi> </beatles>
* RickBitch sets mode: +o Bishi

<Seaf> I found someone had uploaded a video titled "REAL Muff
Diving." I'll leave it at that.
<Gau> erm
<Gau> did they go off a diving board?
<Gau> or was it their wife giving birth played in reverse
* Gau giggles at that idea
* Gau groans as the metal image sets in
<Gau> BRB... Malox time.
<SkySoldier> Gau, you are a strange man.

<Patrician|Away> trust me on this
<Patrician|Away> it was face
<|Tempest|> trust you?
<|Tempest|> TRUST YOU?
<Patrician|Away> im always right on these issues
<Patrician|Away> face will confirm it
<|Tempest|> the last time i trusted you i ended up strapped
naked to a low flying jet performing stunts over london
<Patrician|Away> yup
<Patrician|Away> ad got an easy £300
<Patrician|Away> *and I
<|Tempest|> do you know what 10 Gs does to a flacid flapping
willy?
<|Tempest|> DO YOU?

<DopefishJustin> I just downloaded "Microsoft Visual C++ 6.0
Standard Edition.exe" off WinMX and it's actually a country
music MP3 :/
<DopefishJustin> -=[JustinBot]=- Now playing: [EXE] [Microsoft
Visual C++ 6] [3:31]
<DopefishJustin> I should have realized when I noticed it was
5MB

<xavas> so i was on the beach wearing my speedo's the other
day
<xavas> and some chick walks by and goes "u got a roll of
pennies in there?!?!?"
<xavas> so i says "yeah, want me to knock some cents into
you?>

<joseph> man, if i could shoot lightning from my balls, well,
that'd be pretty cool

<sandnig3r> i shower with a man twice my age

<HOT_SAUCE> generals?
<HOT_SAUCE> yeah i have it
<HOT_SAUCE> i dunno if generals is DX9
<HOT_SAUCE> but somehow, turning up EVERYTHING to super-high
detail makes my game run faster than putting it on just high/
medium
<HOT_SAUCE> i think my video card is autistic
<HOT_SAUCE> like that kid from mercury rising

<cmdrfunk> i have a picture around here somewhere where she
looks totally hot in her silks guard uniform
<mike> flag squad?
<cmdrfunk> yah
<mike> the chicks who are too fat to make it to cheerleading
<lyfeAsaurus-REX> the bottom of the pyramid

«@Sheps» Neom, you fucktard
«@neomonk» ?
«@Deeps» Pld.
«@neomonk» stfu dan or i'll gline you. :o
«@Sheps» I just d/led your script from your website and it has
all your oper passwords saved
«@neomonk» wtf?
::Snotice-> Sheps is now a Network Administrator
***Quits neomonk oper@security.team (Glined(muhahahaha)
***Quits deeps deeps@dpc6682041222.direcpc.com (Glined
(muhahahaha)
«@Sheps» muahahaha owned
***Quits Sheps dan@pcp03341202pcs.danbry01.ct.comcast.net
(Glined(Network Abuse)
::Joins:: neomonk (~john@toronto-hse-ppp3635564.sympatico.ca)
***Quits neomonk ~john@toronto-hse-ppp3635564.sympatico.ca
(Glined(You fucking idiot.)

<Lilmissdjgrl> Do you want a cookie?
<EvilCouch> no thanks, I've got directories full of them

<booyaa> i'm getting horrible pains thru my finger tips
<sy> booyaa: that's me attempting to kick your ass over the
internet

<azathoth> why can't alyssa milano live next door to me, be
lonely and need the satisfaction and fullfillment that only a
20 year old computer programmer can provide...
* azathoth shakes his fist at god and goes back to his
debugging

<Jason_Bee> we'd probably all die if the stock market crashed
<Mugworm> well yea, if it crashed right into your house

<quint> I've figured it out that there are three ways of
pasting text on irc.
<quint> you can press ctrl + v or shift + Ins or click with
the right mouse button in the edit box and select "paste" from
the popup.
<weasel> wow, amazing. You've become a real hacker now.

<hallam> Buy a planeticket...when you are in the air - go to
the toilet.. cut off your pubichairs and glue em to your
chin.. wrap toiletpaper around the top of your head.. KICK THE
DOOR out to the toilet .. jump out and screaam 'Allah akbar'..

<tha|didier> the cigarette packages here say that tobacco
smoke contains HCN, Benzene, Formaldehyde en nitrosamines
<Dilbert|sleep> really? the cigarette packs that i get list
the ingredients as Lung Cancer, and Emphysema

<+dementia^> they should have reality tv program on that is
actually funny.
<+dementia^> called "ima noob get me out of here" and make
them use linux for a week

<torment0r|wk|> !imdb butt pirates
<Vanamonde> Hackers (1995) ( http://www.imdb.com/Title?0113243
)

<@Stakker> argh. our CTO just came from Game Designers
Convention in the US. our games are too complicated for
americans. they're asking for one-button conversions :-D

<Servo> being in love with a 13-year old has its advantages:
she has to go to bed at 22 or 23h, so we can go out and have a
drink!

<JacksWastedLife> <----MsMarina
<kuribo> <----MsMarina
<torgo> <--- dumbass
<CactusJac> MsMarina---->
<Deathlove> <-- Spartacus

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

<Burning> it's funny 'cause it's out of context

<Crispy> I used to have black friends, but my dad sold them
all.

<neoMesis> thats like 11 year olds having sex
<neoMesis> WTF IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!?
<aux_> i dunno but i like it

* unexpected joins the room!
<unexpected> oh shit gotta go
* unexpected left the game.
<Chimerasame> well that was unexpected.

<Jimmy> lisa, i'm having a bad day. wanna get naked on cam?
<Lisa> hahaha
<Jimmy> i hope hahaha is spanish for yes

<Majin_Giru> John u there?
* Bloodshed watches Majin_Giru talk to his pants

<M|ssKitty> olivier says my anus looks like that *

<Jumper_> for an optimist the glass is half full, for a
pessimist it is half empty, for an engineer it's twice as big
as it needs to be
<Thraddash> for a programmer it has too few interfaces?
<Jumper_> for a programmer it's a Basic Input Output System
(BIOS) with a buffer overflow just waiting to happen

<SolidFlam> I can see the day that I type here "Ok, I'm going
to watch Reloaded"
<SolidFlam> Bastard wacko will probably download it and then
give us spoilers
<[wacko]> Neo dies!!
<[wacko]> Trinity has sex with Morpheus!
<[wacko]> The Oracle was fake!
<StarmanDX> Morpheus is a woman!
<[wacko]> Agent Smith is back!!
<[wacko]> Zion is hacked!
<StarmanDX> Jar Jar Binks has a cameo!
<SolidFlam> Bullet Time is lag

<feelio> I think i'll write a C application that can replace
my girlfriend

<mcdaza> though i still maintain that its virtual bullshit
<Robzy> virtual bullshit??? Does that mean my virtual shoe can
step in it?

<@WaRe-WoLf> Razor have you ever had homosapian thoughts??
<Razor> no I havent fag
<Razor> oh ya I have
<Razor> females homosapians

samov : Is there a linux program that will end my depression?
boolean : samov: kill

<Razor_EQ> god damn I just embarresed myself with a girtl I
lik
<Razor_EQ> like
<Razor_EQ> look at this shit
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: im glad i didnt ask for one now
<Razor_EQ> dazed_n_confused_1983: i have cokes and dr peppers
tea
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: cool dr pepper
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: but I dont drink cocks anymore

<GrndZero> "China has already cloned human embryos"
<GrndZero> Go china
<xscope> yeah..thats what China needs..more people.