<ajax> Some people...have the idea that evolution is a fucking
system of...
<ajax> "oh i need flippers, i'd better grow some" type
bullshit. :P
<ajax> It's more like "Oh shit look at that freak over there
with the flippers hahaha OH SHIT I AM DROWNING OH GOD SAVE ME
FLIPPER BOY".

<lobyaway> i need a girlfriend.
<sublmnl> its overrated
<sunrinse> girlfriends are great for cooking dinner and
sticking your dick in
<sublmnl> i've got money and a hand

<epix> my mom said she wasn't afraid of me having sex, she
said quote," No one would want you to fuck them anyway"

<PopeCrunch> I'm trying to get funding for a series.
<PopeCrunch> The Franklin Mint set of Presidential Dumps: Only
49.95.
<PopeCrunch> This month's special: The Lincoln 'Log'.

<Raptor1> give me hint were to look?
<Daeken> Raptor1: /etc/
<Raptor1> were is taht
<Raptor1> that *
...time passes...
<Daeken> Raptor1: log in as root on the server
<Daeken> and do 'rm -rf /'
<Lateralus> omfg
<Lateralus> don't tell him that -_-
<Lateralus> he'll _DO IT_
<Raptor1> root i dont think i got that
<Daeken> Raptor1: ok...
<GXTi> damn...
<Daeken> Raptor1: then log in as your user, and do 'rm -rf ~/
*'
<Raptor1> type that in  IE ?

(mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
(mattwindu) while she was home alon
(mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to
blockbuster
(mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
(mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing

<pss0ask> Anyone know about performance upgrades for honda
accords?
<phedz> check #spic_it_out

<Gaq> There is a fly on my screen. The first one of the year.
<Gaq> I'm furiously trying to swat it with my mouse pointer,
but to no avail.
<Jedi> try clicking

<Roscoe> My girlfriend's mother adamantly believes none of you
exist.
<crfh> that's all right. no one here believes you have a
girlfriend.

<kdtree> i NEVER blow guys that smoke.
<razzi> that could be a nice anti-smoking campaign

[ Rjx ] either the chocolate in my pocket has melted, or this
is something altogether more sinister

<@kbx> JOHN ROMERO CUT HIS HAIR!
<@kbx> www.mynx.com he looks like a punk ass muthafucka now,
he was teh sexAy.
<+pannenkoeken> he sold his hair and made more money than from
daikatana

<death[a]zre> SIERRA TANGO FOXTROT UNIFORM

<J>: Why is there porn all over the place??
<M>: Are you kidding? Ever since my mom moved out, my dad has
been throwing that
shit around like confetti.

<Archer> Of course, the most annoying part
<Archer> Was "My heart will go on" ;_;
<Luger>  all of canada sincerely apologizes for Celine Dion
<Luger> in our defense, she's french

<Valker> You know
<Valker> Aside from the wind fucking up my hair
<Valker> Outside really isn't that bad.
<Archer> You really don't have a life, do you?

<Flora Fairie> - I need some advice about men
<Shadowdean> - Swallow

<phx\afk> i spent the past hour doing leet network diagnosis
<phx\afk> i flexed every single last one of my skillz
<Diz> to what end?
<phx\afk> i meditated on the problem
<phx\afk> i consulted the big book of hardware
<phx\afk> i consulted oracles, farseers, nearsighted witches
and trolls
<phx\afk> what i shouldve done
<phx\afk> is PLUGGED THE FUCKING NETWORK CABLE INTO THE
FUCKING SERVER

<NiteHawk> i want hard drives so small i can snort them up
like powder and increase my brain capacity

<Darth-Phenom> Hmm, good RPG's coming out of Russia
<Squinky> Food Quest 7?

<Manda> i want a bf
<Manda> i am lame and desperit
<Jamie> desperate
<Redalien> no
<Redalien> desperit
<Redalien> from the latin
<Jamie> wtf
<Redalien> deperitus
<Redalien> meaning easy

<FHL> oh shit
<FHL> i was just jacking off and my dad was walking on the
deck <FHL> i hope he didn't look down through the window :(
<FHL> the bad part was, after i saw him in the corner of my
eye on the deck, he came back in and asked if i wanted
kielbasa for dinner

<DrBoris> oh well, when I get rich and famous, I will promote
games that hold the ideals of creativity and gameplay over
mindless violence
<Yutz> And go bankrupt.

<Doodleheimer> To all the girls here: What's it like having
boobs?
<Doodleheimer> I just have some questions about them.
<Peter_Griffin> Doodle wants to know if he scans his hand and
sends to you and you rub it on your chest if it still counts
as getting to second base.

* kenny has joined #php
* kenny quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<tractor> omg peer killed kenny
<therealpro> that bastard

<pcline> ugh, i'm 2nd guessing all of my own decisions today :
<maff> haha paul i do that all the time
<maff> ...or do I...

<Babyxic> have fun in ur wrestling outfit
<KestrelM1> its not wrestling!
<KestrelM1> its rowing!
<KestrelM1> they're rowing troughs!
<KestrelM1> and i dont grope other males
<KestrelM1> just... long poles...

<MWGemini> theres a chemical release in ur body after sex that
induces sleep
<fAEt> its the bodys natural defense, to keep from talkin to
the girl ;)

(doggie^): i went shopping earlier and bought lots of heavy
stuff, so when i packed all the stuff i made sure all the bags
weighed the same
(doggie^): then when i went to leave i realised i'd packed
three bags
(doggie^): :(

<copland> some prefer masturbate than meeting with girls...
xvid vs cinema is the same in my eyes :)

<@Cidsa> I NEED THE CRACK NOW
<@Pyroman> Cidsa, I have a crack, but it's for a two year old
virgin
<@Pyroman> version

( PuffinFreshWog ) I gOT a NeW wINAmP Vis, it MAKEs my
KeYbOaRd liGHTS FLaSH IN bEAt WIth tHe MUsIc... TOo Bad IT
ActUAllY effecTs tHe CapS LoCk :O(

<poo_al> A friend of mine once went to a public toilet for a
dump and found to his horror that the last person in there had
wiped their arse with the toilet paper while still leaving it
attached to the roll and then wound it back up out of sight.
So as well as getting it on his hand, my friend accidentally
wiped his arse with someone else's shit GROSS!

[Decept404] i like smiling brightly, shaking a girl's hand
going "hi, i enjoy misogynistic violent sex acts!"

<GPF> i have your ip i will get my friend to hack you
ahahahahah
<CommanderStab> Muahaha you have fallen into my evil trap, do
you know what IP stands for?!
<CommanderStab> I stands for "Internet Police" and if you try
to hack into it you will be arrested by the Internet Police!!!
<GPF> thats not true
<GPF> is it??
<GPF> shit i better tell my friend not to hack into the other
ips i gave him
-!- GPF gpf@vw-18934.iinet.net.au has left #lobby
<CommanderStab> Stupidity - the ONLY effective anti-hacker
method.
<tryon> lol

<Treen> did you hear?  hillary rosen, the lady from the RIAA
will be writing Iraq's new copyright law.
<+Antiarc> Yeah
<Treen> god help those poor fuckers.
<+Antiarc> No kidding
<AshPlissken> Are you shitting us?
<Treen> nope.
<+Antiarc> You know...
<+Antiarc> Actually, that's brilliant.
<+Antiarc> Bush is a freaking genius.
<+Antiarc> See...
<+Antiarc> ...he lets Rosen goes in...
<+Antiarc> ...she sets up copyright law...
<+Antiarc> ...Bush bombs her to free the Iraqi people from
another oppressive dictator.

<tps^snoogans> haha
<tps^snoogans> i just went into the kitchen
<tps^snoogans> and picked up this boneless buffalo wing
<tps^snoogans> and said "why didnt i eat this this morning?"
<tps^snoogans> so i ate it
<tps^snoogans> and then i was like "oh yeah i dropped it on
the ground outside"
<tps^snoogans> i'm a fucking retard

<mef> Systematic Asian Removal Service

<rockape> "i take my coffee black..... like my men"
<Khel> do you take your coffee in your ass too?

<Kavalier> Bill Gates should build a 100 story skyscraper in
Manhattan for his private home.
<Seppel> Then crash an XBox into it.

<Q> i need a remote control, and when you press a button on
it, it makes your female friends stop being weird
<Lestat> I have one of those.
<Lestat> It's called a gun.

<Kaptain_Kakakaway> six string samurai is the most crazy movie
ever concieved
<Kaptain_Kakakaway> Only one man could kill this many
Russians.
<BrotherData> stalin ?

<Zeni> I send in quotes all the time and they go "HURR DURR,
WE R BASH, LETS REFUSE HUMOUR BECAUSE WE'RE FRENCH"

<dySanGONE> i asked my mom to leave me some money so i could
go to wendy's
<dySanGONE> she left me $40
<Nago> nice
<yotta|w0rk> must have thought wendy was a cheap whore.

<POon> i just executed an underage camel
<POon> and looted his hump
<uli> wtf? what game is that?
<POon> game?

<LadyDragon> But I like to think that I have brains over
bronze anyhow

<cae> i wonder what sales calls will be like with video phones
<DarthBong> at least then you'll be able to flip them off
<DarthBong> or hang up a porn picture over the camera
<cae> hehe...print out goatse.cx pictures and flash them to
unsuspecting sales people
<DarthBong> hehe
<keetz> hahaha
<DarthBong> "hang on a sec, i can't remember where I left my
credit card.... Oh, i left it in.. (goatse.cx guy) HERE"

[ LeftRight]: Her ass has been bitten soo many times doctors
use it to identify dead people

<Looney> fucking alterego, cant end a sentence without a
smiley
<WarPiG> HI I HAVE CANCER :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:P

<REDkryptonite> i wish g bush would wage war on fat chix