<GerbilNut> i was so happy last friday... i finally saw a girl
with my old roomate... it finally convinced me he wasn't gay
<GerbilNut> she wasn't very attractive... but at least i knew
he was straight
<GerbilNut> it would have made those nights we cuddled on the
couch alittle awkward

<Yuri> heh damn man
<Yuri> 93.1mb
<Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
<xerDM> heheh
<Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
<Yuri> heh
<xerDM> hehe
<Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted
companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
* Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
<Dorn> aha
<xerDM> haha
<Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
<Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
<Dorn> course
<Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
<Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
<Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
<Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island
sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
<Dorn> :E

<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do
what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger
than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh

<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left

* kate coughs on Telepath
* kate sodes mode +SARS Telepath
<kate> SUFFFER

<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep 
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend 
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online" 
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone" 
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something,
and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO" 
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let
me on to talk to you"

<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet -
Priceless

<@DataTek> hah
<@DataTek> antibiotics are the king
<@DataTek> u drink two beers and you're so drunk u almost pass
out
<@DataTek> its like a Quad-damage powerup

<Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for
example
<Pat> its "neo"
<Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
<Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
<Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
<Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
<Pat> yes
<Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
<Pat> the oracle is really a guy
<Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
<Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's
actually the one.
<Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out

jac: "thats why asian guys can always go clubbing underage,
they just borrow their dad's licence"
flash: bahahahah that would so work
nexx: er
jac: lol
nexx: asian people cant drive to get thier lisence anyway

<teefers> im khaleds rat
<teefers> he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says
about him on undernet
<teefers> then i send it to him
<teefers> and he winnukes people
<vulture_> teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming
ineptitude must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not
to mention, I hate you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get
winnuked h0 h0 h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output...
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> ha!
<Untitled2> I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw
output real time
<vulture_> ever consider filtering it so you don't have to?
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> what would the fun in that be
<vulture_> being able to laugh at someone's winnuke attempts?
<Untitled2> There's an idea
<Untitled2> and have it log to syslog "silly nuke attempt from
x.x.x.x
<vulture_> "initiating automatic retaliatory smurf..."

<Aitrus> You are standing on the top of a cliff next to a
clone of yourself who just so happens to be stark naked. You
reach over, and deftly push the clone over the cliff. Is it:
<Aitrus> A: Homicide
<Aitrus> B: Suicide
<Aitrus> or
<Aitrus> C: Just another obscene clone fall

<Aitrus> I have three root canals with crowns scheduled, plus
the removal of two wisdom teeth, and two impacted partials.
PLUS two fillings.
<Aitrus> my children will be forced to brush at gunpoint.

<Snowman> How come I can't hack anything that I try to?
<Snowman> I even used su... I just dont know what do do after
that...
<Snowman> Even when I have root...
<TheFat> *sigh* you idiot...
<TheFat> Dont you know, you need uber root not su...
<Snowman> How do I get that
<TheFat> run "halt" then "ur"
<Snowman> Sweet, so i will hack things with ur?
*** Signoff: Snowman (Disconnected)
*** Snowman(poopie@host-209-111-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has
joined channel #hackr
<Snowman> Man... hacking is sooooo gay

<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off
images", it only refers to inline images.  Which is why it's
safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl.  I think it's obvious
how I figured this out.

<iretch> i love how the only way i can tell which family
members are home
<iretch> are which lights are lit up on my hub

Geeky Weezer Fan: Gay Cruises are for gay people....
onkeybutt87: they are?
onkeybutt87: uh-oh
onkeybutt87: Dad's not going to be happy about that one

<BoneyCork> irc operators have a musty operator scent
<CG> na ima clean
<BoneyCork> when you go into some houses you can tell they
have dogs, others you can tell they smoke
<BoneyCork> i bet if you go into CG's house you think, "irc
operator"

<Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences
between Norwegian and English.
<Katsmall> Where's Norway?
<Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
<Teeks> Land of four A's.
<Katsmall> Is that so?
<Katsmall> Which four A's?
<Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY
GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!

<punchcard_w0rk> "fuck with me and I convert your job into a
shell script"

blade|uk: oh no
blade|uk: another AOLer
DONTGIVEU: uh yes
DONTGIVEU: who cares im not a bad aoler
DONTGIVEU: i do good for this room
blade|uk: room
blade|uk: haha
blade|uk: typical AOLer
blade|uk: it's called a channel

<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was
arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler,
protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra
network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self

<+psychoace> damn fucking netsplits
<+psychoace> when will mirc solve this problem

<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter
Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point

<CommanderStab> I remember once this girl was stalking me
<CommanderStab> Some french girl named Olivia
<CommanderStab> And whenever I went online there she was on
ICQ or MSN or whatever going "RARGH HELLO ^_^_^_^__^_^" and
like being ultra-friendly and like doing nothing but
complimenting me on whatever the hell she'd come up with for
that day
<CommanderStab> And I was like, whatever but I'll put up with
it, praise can be hard to come by
<CommanderStab> And then finally she said she was gonna send
me a picture and I was like, YES! My patience has payed off =D
<CommanderStab> And I got the picture and I was like WTF?!
This is a guy!!
<CommanderStab> How could I have gone 4 months and NOT
realised that the guy's nick was "Oliver", not "Olivia" I'll
never know >__<

<J-DOgg> 52.  What does cobol stand for?
<Java_Lang> programming
<J-DOgg> Here's your 1st hint: common bus_____ ________
________
<GodDess|Lang> really stupid computer language
<GodDess|Lang> that i aced
<GodDess|Lang> and forgot the name
<GLOW|SonicReducer> Completely Obsolete Business Orientated
Langauge

<KillaDawg> I don't want to move to Singapore with you. too
humid
<PinkRydergurl> Well, you don't have to wear clothes..you can
walk around naked like people in Africa..
<KillaDawg> Uhhhh, people in Africa have large penes, so they
can comfortably walk around naked. I'm white; I'm not quite
that well-endowed
<PinkRydergurl> Uhhhh, once again, we're talking about
SINGAPORE, which is in ASIA....you're more "gifted" than you
think you are...

<Crash2xs> smoke time
* spider_gurl smokes
<Crash2xs> I wonder y all the sex workers smoke
<Inanna> friction?

<x[conco]> morning
<ChrisFlugel> I just had dinner
<ChrisFlugel> still feels like morning
<ChrisFlugel> maybe because I havent wacked off yet today

(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all
through the house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and
didn't believe in christmas

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are
on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are
unstoppable

<Diamond> But what's truly awesome is my new Radeon 9500 Pro.
<tidalblaze> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Diamond> That I will treat as if it were my first-born child.
<tidalblaze> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Diamond> ...Apparently when I have kids I'm going to stick
them inside a small aluminum box.
<Diamond> And have them process numbers for me all day.
<Diamond> So I can watch porn.

<zez> jerry seinfeld is old.
<matt> it takes a dirty old man to do that job
<zez> no i mean he's gotta be wearing 15lbs of makeup
<matt> ya..
<matt> its really too bad
<matt> tv went downhill when he left
<zez> uh
<matt> i wish he did more
<zez> tv's been going downhilll since 1950.
<zez> i dont like seinfeld at all
<matt> heh
<matt> no way
<zez> i find him completely self absorbed and stupid
<zez> nope
<matt> (marry tyler moore)++
<zez> the only episode of seinfeld i like at all is the soup
nazi one
<zez> and its not because i like seinfeld
<zez> its because i empathize with the nazi.

<WrmSlayer> The AI in the matrix got it all wrong
<WrmSlayer> they should have just used cows instead of humans
<WrmSlayer> no chance of rebelion
<Reverend> yeah
<Reverend> stupid AI
<WrmSlayer> and the mootrix would have just been a big sunny
infinite field of grass

<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant

<Focusyn> hmm this commercial for a local pool place here
<Focusyn> just said "And we make PAYING fun TOO!!!!"
<SJr> Hmmmm
<Focusyn> what, do they let you come in every month and pay
your bill in ones in some stripper's panties?

TwilightKnight: i fucking hate you so much
Dr SpaZZo: Thats what you get for breaking the goatse rules of
engagement
TwilightKnight: wtf are you talking about?
Dr SpaZZo: (Article 2, chapter 5, line 9: Sending goatse to
those of the female persuasion is forbidden)
TwilightKnight: heheheh

<Andrew_ge> whats an ip?
<Andrew_ge> cos according to this popup, my pc is broadcasting
one - is that bad?
<blender> internet protocol
<Andrew_ge> better download this program just incase... its
free anyhow
<Andrew_ge> also - you should check this out, its rules...
http://www.gator.com
<blender> spam anyone?
<Andrew_ge> whats spam?
<blender> a lovely meat

<RatingsQ> WHOA I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR A MOVIE
<RatingsQ> d00d what if you had this dude, typing on IRC...
<RatingsQ> but if he falls below 55 words per minute, dalnet
explodes?

<ex-machina> lol there's a guy in hellraiser 3 who kills
people by chucking CDs at them. Presumably they're Win XP
install discs...

<cat_gurrrl> I'm not a common street hooker! I am a self
employed roadside massage therapist!

<H> damn... i can think of that to hide pr0n but i can't
remember mother's day... must work on priorities

<Duran`Mun> ... I've had a religious experience
<Lathian> Duran`Mun, did someone hit you with a bible?
<Duran`Mun> Lathian: No, I put in my new sound Card.
<Lathian> aaah

<merk> never make a comment to your friend that a mentally
challenged person in a wheelchair is getting more action than
him

<WC|spieler> Installing photoshop from within a compressed
archive.
<WC|spieler> with my antivirus active
<WC|spieler> this ought to turn out well.
<WC|spieler> sometime next summer

<+timovgod> I had a penis transplant but my hand rejected it

<Measure> if I was a mom I wouldn't be anti-porn
<eva> my dad takes the 'well at least he's not gay' position
<waffle> eva: yeah, the jokes on him
<eva> shut up fag
<eva> IM NOT GAY

<freddieandthestarfish> if homosexuallity is a disease, can i
call into work gay??
<mal_s> u homo

<Continuity> Disassembling VB code is like looking at one of
those magic eye pictures

<kevin> Good Morning, nigga!
<kronix> ...
<Dinyctis> good morning to YOU, niggaaaaaaaaaaa!
<kevin> lmao
<kronix> Dinny is a wigger
*** kronix was kicked by jark (Unallowed word/phrase - wigger
[#38492])