<Powerslave> haha love this ticket pushed to me from our help
desk:  "modem making squeeking sound when connecting, needs
replaced"

marty> So, what happened, did you date her?  What was she
like...
deathcubek> Let me put it this way.  She was like an RPG.
marty> I dont get it.
deathcubek> Well... she was long, expensive, and full of
monsters.

<RattleHead> kinda like the fact that the drink hampers your
judgement in female partnership for the night :P
<RattleHead> Drunk Person: "Boooy, loook ad dat GOJUS womun
ova deer!"
<RattleHead> Sober Person: "Are you talking about that fat
nasty cow over by the door?
<WumpSmwher> 8-p
<WumpSmwher> is that how you got your g/f ?  *ducks*
<RattleHead> heh
<RattleHead> yes..... *ashamed*

<cold_russian> i think... i just... blew up... the heater.

tp: Ewwwwwwww! I was jerking off, and my cat kinda jumped on
my stomach before................yeah....... now I gotta give
the cat a bath or my parents will think i'm a perv..... :(
Psycho_James: Dude, you jerked off on your cat, YOU ARE a
perv...

(blackanese): when does a guy lose his virginity?
(blackanese): when he ejaculates or when he fucks?
(dufflebag): lol black just thought he lost his verginity cos
he jerked off

(mike): HEH, THIs Is AMuSINg
(mike): I Got a WiNAMP pLUgiN THAt BLInKS THE KEYboARD ledS tO
THE MUSIc
(mike): BUT IT acTUALLY turNs THe CAPsLOcK On AND oFF iNSTEad
OF JuST the LIGHt

* Evil-PR-Director changes topic to 'IRC - Where the men are
men, the women are men, and anyone under 18 has a .gov ident.'

<nih> if I was reincarnated, I'd be a baby seal
<nih> someone might take me clubbing.

-!- DuDeR has joined #friends
<DuDeR> i love this channel
<DuDeR> people are so friendly here
<DuDeR> unlike that one channel where the people shout vulgar
insults at me usually involving testicles and people with
white hair
<T-Z-O> get the fuck outta here you gay ass albino nut sucking
bitch

<Destruya> HEY WOW I'M SO GOOD AT BF1942 BECAUSE I HANG
OUTSIDE SPAWN POINTS
<Destruya> ESPECIALLY THE PERMANENT ONES
<fatehaze> lol
<Destruya> AND I FUCKING KILL EVERYONE BEFORE THEY CAN SHOOT
ME BACK
<Destruya> AND PEOPLE LIKE THIS "DESTROYA" GUY YELL AT ME
PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING AWESOMELY 1337
<Destruya> AND HE'S JEALOUS OF MY MAD SKIZZILS, YO
<Destruya> OMGOMGOMG
<Destruya> I SHOULD WRITE A TIPBOOK ON BF1942
<Destruya> "BF1942: HOW TO BE FUCKING COOL LIKE ME IN JUST ONE
VERY SIMPLE STEP"
<Destruya> </sarcasm>
<Destruya> I just got out of a really goddamned frustrating
BF1942 game full of career cocksmoking permanent base
campers.  Could you tell?

<Alter_Legiones> don't ya just hate it, when you try to find a
rom. then you click on a link that you think takes you to a
rom site, but is loaded with porn ads, and when the thing
opens, the first thing you hear is "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR LONG
COCK!* while your mom is in the room >_<

<Masao[RY]> DS: I really enjoy translating :-)
<Ninja-San> translate this: <^>(-_-)<^>
<DS> well
<DS> let's tranlate it from japanese to english
<DS>  <^>('_')<^>

<Tiffany> mapso did you know that my brother is having a baby?
<Mapso> Is it yours?

e l i t e m r p: no work on monday, woo waaaaa
r ever end in e: WHY not
e l i t e m r p: holiday
e l i t e m r p: the day we remember all the people who died
to give me a day off from work

<King-of-darknesses> my kernel is panic'ing , i need to
reassure him some

<Wippersnapper> Guess what fools, I am going skydiving
<schnorks> Why does that make us fools?
<Wippersnapper> Because I am jumping out of a plane... oh wait

Trauma Kittten: OMG
MY CAT JUST JIZZED ON ME
Trauma Kittten:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
lordviram: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
lordviram: wtf didi you do to it?
lordviram: i didnt know you were into all that
lordviram: lol
lordviram: wow
Trauma Kittten: well he's a longhair cat
Trauma Kittten: and sometimes his pants get matted
Trauma Kittten: so i was holding him on my lap
Trauma Kittten: and he was purring with his eyes closed and i'm like
trying to untangle them
Trauma Kittten: then i realized one of the bunches wasn't a tangle, it was
his nuts
Trauma Kittten: they both kinda feel the same
Trauma Kittten: then my hand gets a glob of clear stuff on it
lordviram: wow
Trauma Kittten: i'm gonna kill myself
lordviram: that's just
lordviram: hahahahaha
Trauma Kittten: i just jerked my cat off
lordviram: i'd say something but nothing can really add to the effect of
admitting you just jerked off your cat
Trauma Kittten: heh....
Trauma Kittten: i'm surprised that one didn't make it to your profile heh
lordviram: that's cuz i'm gonna post that to bash.org
lordviram: LOL
Trauma Kittten: !
lordviram: ....wow
Trauma Kittten: OH NO
Trauma Kittten: the cat is back
Trauma Kittten: heh
lordviram: maybe it wants to return the favor
lordviram: heh
Trauma Kittten: well there was one site i saw where it recommended putting
whipped cream on your clit and letting em lick it off
Trauma Kittten: but i wouldn' go that far, i don't think
lordviram: you dont think?
lordviram: o.0
lordviram: well. you did just jack off your cat.
Trauma Kittten: BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Trauma Kittten: i was just trying to make him have nice pants
lordviram: you are one freaky chick

* Maho pats the trash can... "was it good for you?"

neiras: "Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians!"
ennoia: Fuck
ennoia: I need cable

<RANMA316> Japanese snacks rock
<PooIsYummy> No they don't, japanese snacks suck.
<PooIsYummy> They aren't treats, if you gave them to small
children in north america they'd start to cry

* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another
silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.

<Necroth|HAPPY> <|707th|Selerox> not even god understands
women <-- not even womans understand womans ;)
<|MoK|Fluid> Thank god, else we wouldn't have catfights.

* woodss has Favourites
* fungi has Bookmarks
* morner has a secretary :P
morner: well, more of an assistant really
morner: ...
morner: ok, it's a pda

<Snipe> you forget though, I have wayyy too much time on my
hands
<Snipe> wait, no i dont
<Snipe> fuck that project is due tomorrow
<Snipe> brb

<boyd> anyway, theres a survey on the back and one question is
"What was the easiest way to make new friends at your Teritary
Institution?"
<boyd> if my name wasn't going to be attached to it, i'd put
something like "i'm doing computer science, I  HAVE NO FRIENDS

<Vangalisk> Gawd, if that american idle twat got any heavier
rotation her makeup is going to fly off her face in large
cakes

<TriNitY> how are u only 1/2 hour ahed?
<TriNitY> ur clock iz fux0r3d
<Mr_Man> i set my clocks ahead for no good reason other than i
feel like i step into the future when i enter my room

<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH

<@John> why does there have to be sunlight
<@Luster> so us geeks know when to go to bed

<Lyndrek> I don't like Pulp Fiction
<Nalani> Why would you dislike Pulp?
<DarkLich> Maybe it confused him.
<DarkLich> Maybe he was like, "What?! John Travolta died two
scenes ago!"

<nailer> I think I'm tired - I just spent three seconds
wondering why `Data Track' by `Data Track' wouldn't play from
this CD

<Yellah> Celebrate the decrimalisation of Pot
<[Piratez]> lets make this national
* [Piratez] replaces the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with
a weed leaf.

<ChOwShAdY> like i fucked a 14 year old when i was 17
<ChOwShAdY> she was immature as a motherufcker
<@impuritor> dude, that is quite possibly the dumbest thing
i've ever heard anyone say in my entire life
<@impuritor> that's like saying
<@impuritor> "My car runs like shit when i'm out of gas"

[+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street,
right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers
Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two
of us"

<@modernman> Juicy.Pussies.Uncensored.JAV-XRS
<@modernman> id fuckin hope its uncensored

<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx
guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he
can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she
know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet
super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal
adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's
cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with
the camera.

<grem> hah
<grem> for the first time in years gold is actually worht MORE
than weed

<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a
friend that was going through CS in college, so we were
talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and
say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department
now?"

<Monarx> If it's 2003, where's my flying cars?
<Monarx> And jetpacks?
<Proto_K> hehe
<Proto_K> all those old cartoons
<Monarx> And other hoohah?
<Proto_K> that depict the "future" in 1991 AD
<||bass> yea
<||bass> 1991
<||bass> Mc Hammer
<||bass> talk about a fuckin disappointment, huh

<windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash
card to have more storage?
<InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your
computer to give you more storage?
<windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot!
<InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth.
<windows_macgeek> ...Oh.

<klafka4> i actually am sick
<klafka4> i think it's allergy
<AlbinoSqrl> to real life?
<klafka4> what? real life is great i've got my fantasy and
scifi books, my anime, my tv!

<deceptika> god created shit....honda made it move

<  ILjWerk> I'm on terror alert level fuscia

* norn changes topic to 'scorp on marriage: [06:08] <Scorpy>
It's like free falling off a cliff, it's fun and exciting for
a while and then you hit the ground and die or break most of
your bones in your body.'

<ch> Cn linux just drop some chrcters from the keybord or is
it more likely tht my lptop keybord is bd?

[Kris] friggen brazilians are still going nuts, even second
defacement is by some group which hangs on brasnet
[jimmiejaz] they just got electricity, they've got to catch
up.

<Gareth> HOW DO I DOWNLOAD GAMES!!!
<TK421-> WHOA LIKE I CAN TELL YOU HOW YO!
<TK421-> Go to download.com and download a few game demos,
depending on which ones you download they will combine to make
different versions of MECHADEMO! *sings power rangers theme
song*
<Gareth> DUDE FUCK YOU

<the_almighty_shoe> i bought concert tickets for a stranger i
met on online once.
<the_almighty_shoe> but it was an Tori Amos concert, so it was
his/her's loss.

<mg|Nibble> haha I just use my daughter text phone to email
her friends she was gay
<LeadOP-Toast> isn't that a bit sick? :P
<mg|Nibble> yup
<LeadOP-Toast> kk :)
<LeadOP-Toast> She's not going to be happy :P
<mg|Nibble> servers her right for running a £200 phone bill up
on me
<LeadOP-Toast> oh, fair nuff then
<LeadOP-Toast> :P
<mg|Nibble> revenge rocks :)