<Movis> the evil Napster kiddies made Lars Ullrich so poor he
had to sell his snare drum & replace it with a tin can

<Ban|Karma|> whats the differents between FreeBSD and Redhat?
<Mr_Tux> Ban|Karma|: One's free, the other's crap.  You
decide.
<StiNKy> redhat isn't free?

<nrky> yeh, having a girlfriend tends to fuck up your ability
to be on the internet, shit they waste alot of time
<Twisted> I want a girl - but on the other hand, she has to
have the ability to go into the other room and communicate via
IM

< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk
if i could turn water into wine

Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't
exactly an easy task. :D
dhn> dentist?
Gud> yeah
*** dhn hands Gud a straw
Gud> dhn: straw?
dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;)

<Robzy> Lol, my dad just asked me "Would you rather take out
an ugly girl, or a girl with a nice personality" and i replied
"they are the same thing arent they?" and he goes "WOO! You
are *MY* son" hehehehe

<Dead_Meat|Linux> is there an alternative to sun java jre now?
<ChrisDKK> sun tea?
<Dead_Meat|Linux> um...
<Dead_Meat|Linux> what's the difference?
<ChrisDKK> one is made with tea leaves the other is made with
coffee beans

<bodhidharma> i don't ask who people are when they are
removing my pants <bodhidharma> that is a smile and nod
situation

<Has_Bean> And very soon, they shall have an aisle in the toy
store devoted to it
<Has_Bean> Aisle 6...the sims expansion pack aisle

<|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a
bad time
<Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic"

<Judg3> well, i get laid too. But you have to keep it secret,
or your not as geeky
<JPres> I got laid once.
<JPres> but mom said it made her feel dirty

<manmanandboyboy> date syllabus check
<d00fus> dinner, movie, then snuggling
<munbty> carnival, cotton candy, and then moonlight stroll
<soccy_pants> drugs, rape, 2 hour police chase

<DoctorRiff> man PETA is awesome, hours of entertainment at
the cost of one dead rabbit

<Sage> but curiosity
<ChaosValentine> killed the cat
<Unicorn> technically the cat killed himself, curiosity just
convinced it to
<gk> no way man
<gk> curiosity busted out a switch blade and slit that stupid
pussy's throat

<Nanobot> I wish I had a girlfriend...
<Nanobot> My only friend is a sock puppet
<Nanobot> Lucky for me though, it has a hole in it

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I
can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the
neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that
you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part
of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge
your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus
about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough
skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like
some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as
skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll
suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

<sysrq> 10 mins till next period
<Nitronium> till your next period?
<sysrq> im in school heh
<Nitronium> shit, better get home quick then!

<LeXX-> so like one time on 2600 irc, liquidpc shoved a usb
cable up his mothers ass.
<Klassh> man, usb really IS universal

<Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me
about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
<Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't
wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex
I'll get"
<Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only
married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he
replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I
remember how that happened"

<@Pr|cK> oi shan on sunday last week at footlocker when i was
buying new shoes
<@Pr|cK> there was this REALLY HOT chick working there right
<@Pr|cK> anyway i went in to buy shoes, and she saw my $500
sunnies
<@Pr|cK> and she gave me her number
<@cray> pfft that's nothing...i went into this shop and waved
around my expensive gun, and the chick behind the counter gave
me all her money

<K2134> holy shit >.< all the guys just ran down the stairs
and out the door because the fucking ice cream truck.. talk
about immature...
<K2134> lmao.. its funny, six 20 year old guys standing in
line for ice cream...

* @Magn0lia catches TollsXP and gives him an atomic wedgie
*  TollsXP 's nether regions emit radiation now
*  ramoth4 gives TollsXP an iWedge
*  TollsXP 's nether regions are now manufactured by apple
*  ramoth4 gives TollsXP a WedgieXP
*  TollsXP 's nether regions crash
< TollsXP> or perhaps they hang ;)
< TollsXP> but I certainly hope they don't freeze.

<Kionon> "Left, right, front, back, penis in, penis out."
<Andris> Dance Dance Reproduction.

<rioter> i heard a car accident last night
<rioter> and laughed
<rioter> then my mum knocked on my door and was like your
sister had  car acident out side your door and you didnt come
out
<rioter> and i laughed even harder

<Abstract> So I was going to lick my girlfriend last night..
And I was like trying to find her clit, but it's like a
fucking labyrinth with all that shit down there..
<LuC3D> Shit? Dude, you were in the wrong hole..

<VanJeans> How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
clean the house?
<VanJeans> Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's
not time.

<Admrlcrow> what are some good switches for extracting a rar
archives on a linux box, i'm using unrar-3.1.3
<pairo> Admrlcrow: -RTFM

*** Joins: Tornus
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Tornus
<+WOJ> It's Tornus.
<@NiteShok> It sure is.
<@GregTG> no it isn't
<@GregTG> [/iraqi information minister]

<kindman34> fubar, how do you spend your time off-line?
<fubar-42o> what. you mean like single-player?

<Tarrasque> damm it.. fucken waiting for my GF to get home...
I an so fucken bored
<toxik> i usually cant wait for my gf to leave..

<@BcK> mexicans steal cabbage patch doll
<@BcK> to get the birth certificate

<Ck3> im still laughing:>> i mean its like you ate someth bad
and im trying to tell you but im laughing so hard i cant tell
you, and i look at you eat it and think that it rolled in the
bong water and im dying of laughter and you're like enjoying
the chocolate so much:>>
<antishok> HOLY FUCKGIN SHIT
<antishok> U MOTHER FUCKER
<antishok> U DIDNT TELL ME IT ROLLED IN BONG WATER YESTERDAY

<dash> HEY BITCH WHERE'S MY SANDWICH
* MogOfGlory unzips his pants
<dash> mmm reuben

<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you
had cousins as hot as mine."

<@Stormrider> If I got arrested and had one phone call, I'd
call the police station with a bomb scare

<Abstruse> I personally like graveyard shifts better...I'm a
night owl by nature...
<Abstruse> Besides, the morning shift there is 6 AM to 2
PM...those are the hours I'm usually sleeping.
<phoxleep> 6 AM
<phoxleep> wtf is 6 AM
* phoxleep has never seen 6 AM
<Abstruse> phox: 6 AM = bedtime.  You know, when that big lamp
outside the window starts to turn on?  You DO know about the
Big Room outside the house, right?
<Abstruse> phox: You know, the Big Room you go to when you
have to go buy more food and stuff?
<phoxleep> the big room is sorta cool
<phoxleep> but doom 3 has better shaders damnit
<Abstruse> I hate the big room when the lamp's on...
<jastity> Abstruse: I have my groceries delivered to my Big
Room, I order them online.
<Abstruse> They need to fix the air conditioner out there.
<Abstruse> jastity: I meant McDonalds.
<Abstruse> Or Taco Bell or Jack in the Box or whatever.
<phoxleep> Abstruse: why hasn't greenpeace given them shit
about leaving it on?
<phoxleep> it's a waste of power damnit
<Abstruse> phox: Something about it using solar energy I
think.

<DigitlDud> So you guys really don't care if I'm gay?
<gopus> I personally could care less.
<DigitlDud> I'm really afraid of telling my parents.
<gopus> Then don't.
<wafn> DigitlDud, the way I see it, all of us have things
about us we are ashamed of.
<gopus> That's right...
<Skarab> yeah, DigitlDud, I gave my cousin tongue before, and
I think that's far more embarrassing.
<gopus> ...
<logiclrd-> And I look hella ugly. You've seen my pics.
<Hello1> DigitlDud: and you basically know that I couldn't get
laid if my life depended on it.
<frankyd> and I smell like shit.
<gopus> ...
<gopus> and I think AOL rocks.
<frankyd> gopus: ...
<Hello1> ...
* logiclrd looks at gopus
* gopus was kicked by logiclrd (Bye)
<logiclrd-> there are some things I won't tolerate.

<MagnaUnum> just got off the phone with a redhead
<MagnaUnum> she's cool
<MagnaUnum> she likes helping retarded kids though
<MagnaUnum> I dunno if I can justify that with my conscience

<classNTBk> lifetime kicks ass
<classNTBk> its got designing women
<classNTBk> its slogan may be "television for women", but its
attitude is "kickass enough for studs"

<superghos> sometimes my dick gets so hot it feels like it's
going to burn a hole through my mouth

<Dareon> Damn it.  Why is it, whenever I go down to bring up
another window and slip, I always wind up launching Worms?
<Iago> It's a sign.
<Dareon> ...If the universe wanted me to go play with squishy
pink things, they should send me porn popups.

<_cliCk_> any boddy here???
<shaan> no
<_cliCk_> are u sure?
<shaan> yes
<shaan> quite
<_cliCk_> i will not!!!!
<shaan> will not what
<_cliCk_> be quite

<@doggie^> argh ffs
<@doggie^> just downloaded a 12mb program
<@doggie^> now im downloading a 22mb update

<Fickle> I dunno if this fried waffle thing is a good idea,
kelsey
<kelseyB> it might be commercially available
<Fickle> right.  It's already been bought by McD's
<Fickle> called the McFucking Coronary

<chron> YO BITCH YOU WANNA GET FUCKIN RAPED? AIGHT IMMA BUST
IT OUT LIGH DIZ <boom boom boom> WELL IMMA TCP TO YO FTP THEN
PUMP U FULLA PENIS.C CUZ IMMA HACKAH BITCH I DONT FEEL NO
PAIN, I PLAY COUNTERSTRIKE AND EMULATE MAIM, U SUCK MY COX
WHILE I ROOT YOUR BOX WHILE MY DRONES PACKET INTO YOUR GAY
WINSOCKS, IMMA HACKAH IN THE NIGHT WHEN THE TIME IS NOCTURNAL
SO KISS MY DRONES AND SAY PEACE TO KERNEL. WHAT WHAT WHAT
WEBSIIIIIIITE

<chesed> I couldn't find the food you like
<chesed> I couldn't find a card
<chesed> So I hope these flowers say it best:
<chesed> Dear Lord you make me hard

<Bismarck>Ok.
<Bismarck>Over 50.000 people at the stadium watching the game.
<Bismarck>22 Players on the field
<Bismarck>2 referees,
<Bismarck>and the coaches sitting on the side of the field.
<Bismarck>So WHY did the FUCKING BIRD have to shit on MY
HEAD!?

<DrUDgE> black|one: what is your mom on top of me nude?
<DrUDgE> black|one: a good time!
<black|one> not for you..
<black|one> my mom is 60.

<fabutron> so we were at sonic the other day (which is a drive
up restraunt like in the fifties, for those of you that don't
have sonic) and we made a joke about punching the waitress in
the uterus and over the little drive up radio the guy was like
"we can still hear you"

<LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
<exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
<DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
<LarsC> yeah.  i fuck you, and you don't even know I was
there.
<Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem.