*|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine
Bitches 101"
<moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats
through its tongue.
<moes_19> dipshit
<Puedlfor> Ouch.

(AnonymousOtaku) how do i go afk? this is my first time on IRC

<Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends
<Jemte> yea that sucks
<fdog> LOL
Topic (#clemson): changed by fdog: <Catmando> hmm.. apparently
friendster requires friends

<_3Apophis> how i'm i stupid?

<Rocket> nothing gay about predicting the size of a mans cock

<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> oh, you wanna play it like that efnet?
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> disconnect me will you?
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> i'll leech my warez elsewhere, thank you!

<Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor
<Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous
<Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged

<Rigger> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I
started getting dressed before she could turn on the
lights......
<Rigger> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes
on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<Rigger> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<Rigger> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

Knight Takeru: what happened to your old greeting?
TheDauntlessStar: i dunno
TheDauntlessStar: it was there, then it just sorta faded
away...
TheDauntlessStar: like George Lucas's directing abilities
Knight Takeru: Yup...
Knight Takeru: or Bush's leadership..
Knight Takeru: wait
Knight Takeru: that was never there
Knight Takeru: my bad...

<TFreak> She was like, "are you enjoying this"
<TFreak> And I was like thinking, dude, it feels like I'm
fucking a bowl of spagetti-Os or something.

### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200
amps
### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*

* ChanServ has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* Cold_Lich sets mode: -ooo Deleter Elight|Xenosaga
KamikazeChicken|Away
* Cold_Lich sets mode: -o Arieswind
* Cold_Lich whistles innocently

<Sebbe> Just found some online CPR 101
<Sebbe> The instructions are: Call, blow, pump
<Sebbe> Kinda makes me wonder if I accidentally stumbled upon
a Hooker 101

<quacks> u look like that milk girl
<quacks> on the cup
<@dolphie> huh?
<@dolphie> nonsense.. that girls so ugly
<quacks> precisely.

<werxxx> ok..
<werxxx> lemme put it like this
<werxxx> how to make my script check dns of a given domain
<xterm> werxxx: google should be able to help you out.
<werxxx> google?
<werxxx> so i'll need to configure my script to parse google
query result?

<acaos> why does bread come in one shape, meat in another, and
cheese in a third so when you want to make a sandwich you have
to cut and fold and contort to get it right? =)
<leile> hahaha.
<leile> its like food-origami.
<acaos> my thought exactly =)
<acaos> but I have balanced the meat-yin and the cheese-yang
and the bread-fu now.
<acaos> the ancient, mystical art of Sandwich-Do.
<leile> hahaha
<leile> HAHAHAHA.

<_Dogbert_> whats the diff btwn a bucket of menstrual fluid,
and a bucket of sand?
<rusty-chix> wtf?
<_Dogbert_> you cant gargle a bucket of sand
*** You were kicked by ChanOP ([Android] stop now.)
*** Attempting to rejoin...
*** Rejoined channel #teens

<Yuli> ...so anyway, I was all like "where's my coconuts man!
I ordered em last week!"
<Yuli> and the guy just stared at me like "what the fuck?"
<Yuli> so i was all like "whatever man, send them to my hut"
<Yuli> and I paddled away

<Judith> if you were trying to market condoms, what would you
try to use for a slogan?
<Redeemer> "Wear the fuck out of us."

<jeev> there are 2 things i hate in life
<jeev> racists and mexicans

notten: it's cliche shit and i'd rather masturbate with
sandpaper than watch a minute of mtv

<OwnerDemon> It kind of sucks now that there are so many
computer jokes and innuendos on bash.org that people like me
can't understand them.
<TheOne> 7|-|47z (|_|z j0012 4 f|_||<1n9 DUMB4SS!
<OwnerDemon> Exactly.

«BoneyCork» ok heres a foolproof plan to get a girl
«BoneyCork» rummage around for 5 minutes, turn to a girl,
smile and say" excuse me, have you got a pen i can borrow?"
«Dilbert|Simpsons» or pull out your penis and say "i'm horny
bitch, suck my cock"
«_404NotFound» ha
«_404NotFound» ahh.. the direct approach
«BoneyCork» ive never tried that one
«BoneyCork» maybe i should sometime
«Dilbert|Simpsons» yeah
«Dilbert|Simpsons» i've done it millions of times
«Dilbert|Simpsons» its bound to work sooner or later

<genesis> mommy, why doesnt bc do logic math?
<ch> because you touch yourself.
<genesis> a world without bit shifts is a world i dont want to
masturbate in

<gellehsak> all the french kids at my school
<gellehsak> look at porn all day
<gellehsak> they're like
<gellehsak> "HAW HAW HAW... LE PORNO EST TRES BIEN"

<Taiken> A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!
<Shempo> WHAT!?
<Shempo> TIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL?
<Taiken> WORSE!
<Taiken> IM OUT OF MARIJUANA!
<Shempo> Oh
<Shempo> My
<Shempo> God
* Shempo calls up Canabis-Man
<Shempo> SAVE HIM CANABIS MAN!
<Taiken> ...
<Taiken> Where is Cannabis man?
<Shempo> Probably high.

<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick

<cwilbur> we have a database table with fifteen million rows
in it.
<cwilbur> they brought a manual database change in.
<cwilbur> "please print a table dump before and after you make
the change."
<Azhrarn> nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from!
<cwilbur> there are fifteen million rows in the table.  if you
want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes
sense.  but do you really want a *book*?
<cwilbur> "our policy says that we need a printout."
<confound> hahaha
<cwilbur> oooookay.
<Azhrarn> print out a link to the backup on your intranet :)
<confound> "that's not MY policy."
<cwilbur> no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout.
<pmichaud> what font size?  how many lines per page?
<Azhrarn> Poor trees
<Halfjack> They'll only want it once.
<cwilbur> when someone asks why we've gone through three toner
cartridges and the printer is still printing, we'll refer them
to the twit.
<Azhrarn> shrink the font till it fits on one page :)
<pmichaud> purl, 15000000 / 66
<purl> 227272.727272727
<Azhrarn> !
<pmichaud> purl, 227272 / 5000
<purl> 45.4544
<pmichaud> 45 cases of paper :-)
<pmichaud> at 66 lines per page
<Azhrarn> and after he makes the changes...

<ater> how bout a tamigotchi game with a chinktwat
<ater> your only options would be "Do Math" "Practice Violin"

<mufffin> i could live there
<mufffin> except its an apartment
<Schlurbna> That's not to say I wouldn't live there but I
expect more from
penthouse apartments.
<hoek_> Schlurbna - you expect penthouse models in there?

<esco600> why would someone's mom be on bash.org?
<aNuBiS-> moms need nerd love too

<[CKS]Red_Robot> i know i should be working on my paper, but
id rather be playing warcraft, so to compromise im doing
almost nothing

<LesVoix> i want to start the straight pride parade
<fubar-42o> yah
<fubar-42o> what kinda flag would we have
<fubar-42o> since the gay ppl have a rainbow
<fubar-42o> we should
<fubar-42o> have 2 chicks doin it
<LesVoix> LOL
<fubar-42o> cuz thats what every straight guy wants to see

<steven> Alman : Will you be my friend?
<Alman> uhm lemme do a whois on you first

<foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true
geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men
convention. seeya later

<sh`> hmmm i wonder if i can burn at 52x now
<sh`> time to add to my pile of hardware sitting in/on the
case
<sh`> brb
* sh` has quit IRC
<xyonz> he needs a girlfriend or something

<Faight> Reproduction is stupid.
<AndrewLB> You want sex, don't you?
<Faight> I have a 6 year old brother.
<Faight> He's an annoying little bastard, but I love him.
<Faight> =/
<AndrewLB> That was quite possibly THE most disturbing answer
you could give.

<ThePerfectCore> I hate "fake-geek" chicks.
<blacksun> Oh yeah?
<ThePerfectCore> "omg i lik compooters"
<ThePerfectCore> "Yeah?"
<ThePerfectCore> "yeah my dady bought me a dell 2day it has
2ghz of ram!!! loool!!!!"
<blacksun> hahaha
<ThePerfectCore> *thud thud thud*
<ThePerfectCore> That would be my head fucking the wall
<ThePerfectCore> My wall gets more action than I do

<Gnell|CHAMPION> OMG A DONKEY JUST WENT BY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
<Gnell|CHAMPION> i wanna ride it
* Gnell|CHAMPION is away

<%revmoo> http://revmoo.home.insightbb.com/irox.jpg
<%revmoo> (yes that is a real screenshot)
<%revmoo> (no I do not have a life)

TXTerron: i have of those
strtoken: me too
TXTerron: the first girl i ever got intimate says it was
normal length but very large gerth
TXTerron: that should have been my first clue she was a
fucking slut

<Panzer> hmm. 3% out of about 2000 Battlefield gamers are
female
<Sargasm> That's...what, 60?
<Panzer> dont know if thats exact
<Wilbur> it is
<dsbnh> and this matters because....?
<dsbnh> now more gamers can get dates?
<Wilbur> trivia is vital
<Panzer> dee
<Sargasm> 3% of them can, now
<dsbnh> "omg kekekek i am a girl don't shoot k cutie ^___^"
<Sargasm> "omg are u really a gurl?"
<Sargasm> "pics plz"
<dsbnh> "OMG yes"
<Panzer> heh
<dsbnh> "later after i win"
<Panzer> forget it
<dsbnh> "let me win k?"
<Sargasm> "anything for u hunny
<Sargasm> "
<dsbnh> "^__^"
<Panzer> ack von stupidhead
*** Signoff: Garnet (Exit: Austnet Chat Network)
<dsbnh> "what button do i press to shoot,
becauseobviouslyicanconvinceiamagirlbyactingclueless"
<Sargasm> "u can push my buttons any day"
<dsbnh> "omg kkeekke ur funny"
<dsbnh> "dude i have him we are  so win to win"
<dsbnh> "oh crap, i typed that in wrong"
<dsbnh> "kekeke hi... helllo"
<Sargasm> Sadly, this is far more accurate than it should be
<dsbnh> LOL

<adorecm> i just had to type out my proposal for english
class.
<whitcomb>  "Dear Gay English teacher:  I will marry you for
an A.  Sincerely, Eric Metz."
<adorecm> not a proposal like that

[Sh0t]: i want to win the homo dominatrix torture chamber
contest
[Sh0t]: homo=home
[Sh0t]: FREUD GOT ME AGAIN

<Breianna> The U.K. is adding a new stripe to its flag
<Breianna> Black, to reflect its "multiculturalism"
<whitcomb> i noticed all the blue people when i went there

<jamz> So I sent out an email saying that due to a death in
the family I was going to be out for the next two days.
<jamz> one person emailed me back: Please accept my sincere
apologies.
<jamz> I emailed her back: What, did you kill her?

<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching
us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it
up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with
her kid

< CausaSui> So I was showing a coworker bsd, and explaining
flags, and speficically the schg flag
< CausaSui> And to give him an example that even root can't
delete schg flagged stuff, I tried rm /kernel
< CausaSui> But it turns out that, for some reason, on fresh
installs of 4.8, none of the kernels are flagged schg

<H3g3m0n> Wow according to the starwars website Star Wars
Episode III is going to be called "In production"

<@DrPoole> i wish i had a friendly panda
<@DrPoole> he'd be my buddy. watch tv and stuff.
<@DrPoole> drink beer.
<@niklas> get high
<@DrPoole> yeah. he'd get fucked right up and he'd beat on me
from time to time.
<@DrPoole> that, would, RULE