* Wang feasts on elbow macaroni and baby carrots
<slm> good for you, you have the diet of a 3 year old
<Wang> woo
<Wang> and i'm hung like one too
<Wang> ...
<slm> uhhhh... congrats?

<vSvAINT> Rune...do you ever Sleep Man?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <dcpsoguy> r00n: Do you sleep?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <@RuneWalsh> nah, sleeping goes against
everything I believe in
<vSvAINT> it's kind of sad you have a prepared response for
that
<RuneWalsh> no, it's spontaneous
<vSvAINT> Spontaneous like Combustion or Spontaneous like
Jerry Lewis?
<RuneWalsh> besides, I responded to that question earlier and
didn't feel like typing that again
<RuneWalsh> I'll have to think about that
<RuneWalsh> I wouldn't really call Jerry Lewis spontaneous
though
<RuneWalsh> which doubles as my point as well
<vSvAINT> Haha Instantaneous. "NEW! Instantaneous Jerry Lewis!
Just add Water!"
<RuneWalsh> "Wow mommy, can I have one?"
<RuneWalsh> "Not till you're older, dear"

<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!

<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't
polute humanitys gene pool

<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<thecool> lol
<hgl> no porn is me time

(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I
masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be
incest?
(mortiis) no
(mortiis) idiot

<FoxMcCloud> Do you think Shigeru Miyamoto screams out
pokemon-names during sex?

<Mystic_Fibrosis> wouldn't be ironic if my worth as a person
was determined by my connection quality?
<nosmo> you are unreliable and frequently die
<nosmo> but quite fast
<nosmo> me however :D Fast, I can keep going for 8 days (so
far) can get huge amounts done in seconds :D

PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the
awesome none of the bullshit.

RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked
like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't
do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think
"oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!"
and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the
sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE
FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she
want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere...

<Antioch-F> Don't you hate people with karaoke scripts?
<Antioch-F> You know, they sit there and spam the lyrics to
their song?
<Antioch-F> It's not enough to just have a script that
aggitates everyone by going "I AM NOW PLAYING THIS AND THAT
SONG IF ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW!"
<Antioch-F> No, they have to add karaoke to it.
<Antioch-F> Just in case anyone wants to know what the lyrics
are for "Oh Man, I Woke Up In A Truck And My Butt Sort Of
Hurts" by Billy West.

<Flirbnic> HAHAHA SQUINKY MADE A GRAMMATICAL ERROR.
<Squinky> HAHHA FLIRBNIC HAS A BIG BUTT AND HIS BUTT STINKS
AND HIS HEAD IS HIS BUTT.
<Flirbnic> Stop it, I'm very sensitive about that. :(

<Silmor> Hello Kitty is so tainted... imagine someone giving
your six year old daughter a hello kitty purse and you lashing
out at them "For fucks sake man, she's only 6!!"

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice
aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you,
bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard
hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real
beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl.
8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of
the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is
ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest
sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000
Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are
only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of
****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my
lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as
flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr.
Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold
war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it
was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard
now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage
your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard
hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me
again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna
report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you
f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

<@OutlawJim> i was lookin at a form online and was saw one of
those little type what you see in the box bits
<@OutlawJim> and i wondered, what if you were blind
<@OutlawJim> then i realised you couldnt fill the form in by
yourself anyway

<Gallusik_psv> sory
<Gallusik_psv> for my english :P
<osiris> I envy you, I really do, I hate speaking 1 language
<Gallusik_psv> aha
<Gallusik_psv> what languages do you know??

<DocGonzo> i need to shoot myself in the face... i
accidentally typed "the" instead of "teh", so i backspaced and
fixed it

<moes_19> my computer is about to die
<moes_19> its telling me i need to back up my files asap
<moes_19> its like bill gates is fucking me in the ass and is
telling me I might want to video tape it

bISMARCK: man yor stupid
Wheelman56: man yor is stupid?
Wheelman56: who is man yor
Wheelman56: sounds japanese
Wheelman56: MAN YOR?!? HE NO HERE!!
bISMARCK: :|
Wheelman56: HE TRY TO FIX VCR CAUSE LIGHT BLINKING TWELVE ALL
TIME!!

* Gandalf should answer the phones at work with a different
song lyric each time
<Gandalf> "I'm the operator with my pocket calculator. May I
please have your U* IT Name?"
<ai> I just want to answer the phone "Fuck you, this is Ben,
how can I help you?"
<Gandalf> heh :)
<ai> "I'd like to file a claim."  "Miss Scarlet, I don't know
*nothin'* bout birthin' no babies!"

<thebestalex> on this server's site
<thebestalex> are there any cops photos?
<Gizm0> what cops?
<Gizm0> you mean irc ops

<unlimitedsaga> I wonder if I'm too uncaring about others
<unlimitedsaga> I passed this guy in the hall today
<unlimitedsaga> and I thought he was asleep
<unlimitedsaga> then when I came back 10 minutes later there
were people around him
<unlimitedsaga> then an ambulance came
<unlimitedsaga> maybe he was unconscious
<unlimitedsaga> or dead..
<unlimitedsaga> is tribes any good?

<cheezychops> GOD I SLEEP ONE WORK WRONG AND YOU GO INSANE
<cheezychops> er
<cheezychops> SPELL*  WORD*

<+Lithium-> i nearly died
<+Lithium-> going into the cellar - sister fucking put some
fucking shit on the steps
<+shak> :o
<+jonathan> that must smell
<+richard> lol
<+jonathan> does your sister lay dumps all the time?
<+jonathan> can she lay a dump on me?
<+james> ...
<+Alex-A11> lol?

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading
it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got
that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

<Milon> I I can't believe I was fooled like that. my brother
and his friend told me there was pie downstairs and as I go
down they had like a giant rubber slingshot set up and they
nailed me with it >:(

<RedVapor> hearing my dad say "Wow, Tifa's hot." is scarring
<RedVapor> You wanna know what I replied with? "No duh, dad.
Funny thing is, I have a better chance witgh someone like that
then you do." I was grounded for 2 weeks
<ecco> Yes, you have a better chance with VIDEO GAME
CHARACTERS
<ecco> ahaha dork boy

* kanis lost something for mouthing off to an admin
<Cybsled> I hope it wasn't virginity
<kanis> fuck you

<M4`Shock> i was talkin to these fine ladies
<M4`Shock> and i sorta put my head down
<M4`Shock> and puked quickly and continued my conversation
<M4`Shock> they barely noticed

<PickleC> I want to read
<PickleC> but I have this disease
<PickleC> called
<PickleC> L-A-Z-Y
<Carly> so you just guess whats on the screen then?

<+Comanche> is OST any good
<+Comanche> band apparently..

<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1
week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting
with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in
the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes
near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime
that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens
to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?

<sweetlisa> hi i'm singel and lookin for a bf...private msg me
:)
<Ninja_Dib> i have a gf
<DJMORGAN> i have a bf
<Johnsee> I have a gf
<psynapse> i have wood
<knokturnal> i have a milf
<Ninja_Dib> LOL
<DJMORGAN> knokturnal: you know if u actually say that
including the acronym that doesnt sound very good

<chabo> have you guys ever noticed that quite a few of the
quotes on bash.org deal with people who go on IRC and tell
everyone about it when something major happens, rather than do
what they should, which is usually go to the hospital?

<Gwindor> so who wants to get knocked up?
<Barrow-Wight> I see Gwin's found the Viagra gum.
<Gwindor> double your pleasure, double your fun!

<plexr> do you know std c++ ?
<plexr> or is a weak understanding of VB your only strength
<ahorse_> oohhhhh he just said the equivalent of *yo momma*

<A-C> Is it me or is the new Tatu song unbelievably annoying
<Lightbunny> is it me or are all of their songs annoying?
<Lightbunny> but who cares.  they're cute lesbians.
<A-C> but of course

<Ozymandias> WTF is an accronym

<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED.
<sheeps> it got lucky ay?
<NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.

<Knghtbrd> something so totally feels wrong ...
<lisa> ?
<Knghtbrd> no idea, but going outside right now makes me wanna
run back inside, bar the door, and hide under the bed.
<lisa> republicans in town or something?

<@redfox> fuk
<@redfox> just found out my sisters been in labour for 7 hours
<@bovineaux> omg ur gonna be a daddy!

<@GeNOc|DE> damn i wanna bone the lead singer of evanescence
<@eught> what does she looks like?
<@GeNOc|DE> sex

<KiTTyKaT`> What state is Alabama in?

<drwiii> this game rules.
<drwiii> i punched a building and it EXPLODED
<drwiii> but enough about that, let's talk about the game.

<Cody> Hmmm
<Cody> Amazon offers a discount if you buy Adam Smith's Wealth
of Nations at the same time as Marx's Communist Manifesto...

<hohum> when you get to the printf(); *BAM* instant coredump
followed by an suid shell
<hohum> get it?
<brandon> to a degree
* brandon isn't much on programming
<hohum> don't worry, neither are the people who write software
:)
<brandon> lol
<hohum> you'd fit right in

<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old
story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first
date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After
hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of
soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you
prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"

<MagicCow> I hate people who think that being gay should give
them special rights.. it's not like they are women, or black..
who were unfortunately born wrong.. they made a choice to be
stupid faggots.

<B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then
don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like
to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do
you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd
just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home
while I catch the last of the ball game"
<B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.

<Miro-kun> My karma ran over your dogma