<AL9000> my fatty little brother is pissed b/c I wrote
"treadmill" on his Christmas list

<Freakdoom> you know
<Freakdoom> i love all my friends
<Freakdoom> your like a second family to me
<Freakdoom> just say my entire family was killed somehow
<Freakdoom> would you let me live with you?
<Freakdoom> :D
<Zy> of course
<Freakdoom> yay :D
* Freakdoom is away: killing family

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my
sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of
feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

<Tremolo> All right, you want a story eh? Welll fine
<Tremolo> "One day in the middle of the night, two dead boys
got up for a fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew
their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the
noise and came to shoot the two dead boys. If you dont believe
this lie is true, ask the blind man he saw it too,"

<Yajinden> I like this temperature-based designation system we
have.
<Yajinden> it's good to be hot, and it's good to be cool, but
it's not good to be frigid, and it's not good to be flaming.

<gpi> -:- BitchX: Join to #brocku was synched in 0.153 secs!!
<gpi> i love the double exclamation mark
<gpi> as if that's shattering some world record
<trigga> lol
<gpi> HOLY SHIT YOU SYNCED FAST!!

< skel> I just patented an atmospheric bio-oxygen extraction
device..
< skel> now I'll sue anyone breathing
< skel> mwuhahahaha!
< skel> i was just kidding guys
< skel> you can let your breath out
< skel> =P
< skel> guys?
< skel> OH DEAR GOD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
< skel> BREATHE PEOPLE!!! BREATHE!!!

<NiM> I went to church with my friends
<NiM> and they had all the alter boys being commissioned or
whatever its called
<NiM> and we pours salt and viagra in the wine
<OttoDestruct> LOL
<NiM> And like 4 of the alterboys spat out the wine
<CF|Okra> hahahah
<NiM> and the priest was like OMFG U SINNERS
<NiM> thats the blood of christ!
<NiM> And the ones that didn't spit it out where walking
around in their fucking robs with boners
<NiM> it was the funniest shit ever
<NiM> We where kicked out
<NiM> of the church

<mr_smith> fuck, i toasted my cablemodem yesterday...
<asshat> heh,
<asshat> how did you do that mr_smith
<goatasaur> raise your glass and go "to my cablemodem!"

* Khross flies a 757 into andy
* andy flies a 757 into Khross's 757.
* aen blocks them both with twin towers.
<andy> SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED

<KevM> quit the farcical shenanigans you duncical
misrepresentation of a homo sapien
<andycode> I find your misanthropic antics most ironic in
their malevolent disposition.
<andycode> Moreover, the mere implications of your pathetic
facade is illigitimate in its duplicitious atrocity.
<KevM> your virulent discourse is quite misguided in it's
underhanded attempts to slight me
<Khross> And you're fat.

<Ghoulem> I think Grand Theft Auto 3 gives a wrong impression
of how the world really is.
<Eclipse> Because of all the violence?
<Ghoulem> No, Because of all the black people driving
Ferraris.

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot.
For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God>  Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the
morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of
Moab. -  (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!
*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider
(Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in
this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see
that...

<froody> yeah but if you had a mac it would be like "Rip. Mix.
Burn"(TM)
<Rafterman> heh
<Rafterman> if you had linux it'd be "rip, crash, download,
tar, make, make install, curse, hack, make, rip, mix, crash,
download, etc, etc..."
<Rafterman> but it'd be free!

<VolteFace> heh, this SNL is like a mirror
<VolteFace> they're making MJ child molestation jokes and how
the president can't read
<VolteFace> and it's from 1993

<+kyo> meixcans are quiet fancy in tehir names, are teh not?
<@Squirrel> yeah
<@Squirrel> their names make less sense than anyone else's
<@Squirrel> it's like
<@Squirrel> MIGUEL OF THE CROSS
<+rutabaga> its compensation for their non fancyness in
baithing
<+rutabaga> and general hygine

<pr00f> Tendency's chatroom inaction
<pr00f> is due to a pleasant distraction.
<pr00f> she finds it quite grand
<pr00f> to type with one hand,
<pr00f> in search of her own satisfaction!

<|NEO|> and she was sucking it so hard the sheets were going
up my ass

<Skizot> my boss is a moron
<Skizot> he walked in an i had left mirc open
<Skizot> he asked what it was...
<Berry2K> bussiness relations?
<Skizot> i told him a new support program by microsoft
<Berry2K> :)
<Berry2K> haha
<Skizot> he says" do i need it"
<RightField> lol
<Skizot> i told him no... it's for really techincal people and
n00bs
<Berry2K> WTFLOL
<Skizot> he asks what's a n00b
<RightField> omg
<Skizot> i told him that's what they call microsoft
programmers

<ugly> haikus are so gay
<ugly> they are just shitty poems
<ugly> invented by japs

<eric> awright spam u can use
<eric> "Like to see hot jizz spit all over an unsuspecting
teen's face? These young teen girls love taking hot cum right
in the face."
<siva> "unsuspecting"?
<eric> DAD CAN I GO TO THE MALL I NEED SOME NEW BARETTES AND %
(#*&%!( HOLY GOD

<@SPo0n> this morning my mate said he likes the word "cock"
because it "rolls off the tongue"

(Ninja_Mo) definition of irony"
(Ninja_Mo) <Oedipus> Sup mofo?

<Beerman> D-Ness: are you on broadband?
<D-Ness> I'm on a java thingy

<@Gandalf> Recent scientific study found that the kind of male
face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where
she is in her menstrual cycle.
<@Gandalf> For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted
to men with rugged and masculine features.
<@Gandalf> And if she is menstruating, she is likely to prefer
a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors shoved
deep into his temple and a cricket stump jammed up his arse

<cochese04> I find it incredibly amusing how my parents refer
to transmission fluid as "tranny fluid".

<kiwi> once i skipped
<Alby_Fox> she has no idea when she'll have a period
<kiwi> my mom thought i was pregnant
<Proffessor> that's gotta be some scary shit
<kiwi> but at the time i'd never even kissed a guy =D
<Proffessor> it was the next coming of jesus.... but,
nooooooo, you had to play with the coathanger

<cagan> heh, my little sister bought vice city :)
<spanky> such a cool game
<cagan> i don't think my sister has any intention of
completing it
<cagan> she just likes driving around, and occasionally
killing people
<spanky> lol, dont we all?
<cagan> she has cars in her garage ... and if they get damage,
she carefully drives to a paint place, then keeps going in and
out till its a colour she approves off
<spanky> hehe

<Whilly-D> break a tranny in most cars and its a good 2k
<gasgesgos> break a transvestite in most cars and it's a good
4 years

<Jaayy-EOC> Yeah.. I stole 5$ from Mike when I was at his
house, but the funny thing is he doesn't know.
<Derid-EOC> I do now, you dumbass.
<Jaayy-EOC> Shit. When did you log on?

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> :o
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held
against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'

<MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR
movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
<MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell
loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
<MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while
screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas
could have done it better."
<MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and
shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to
your seat.
<MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a
sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
<MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
<MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf
went to Hogwarts
<MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with
"Mr. Anderson."
<MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at
the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
<MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive
to Ethiopians
<MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the
end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
<MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of
you on the back of the neck.
<MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle
of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
<MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout
"Barbecue!"
<MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the
next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to
assassinate Frodo Baggins
<MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war,
stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
<MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's
what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get
kicked out of the theatre.
<MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire,
"Where's Waldo?"
<MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is
a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
<MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
<MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter
and wander around looking terribly confused.

<+Macolio> I'm just waiting for the day Square will finally
come out of the closet and just release an FF with hardcore
gay sex between the effeminate leads.

<tuckt26> MD = farm land, DC = Gangs and concrete, VA = Wine,
music, and the finer qualities of life
<Calisa> And what would OH stand for?
<aeonite> When you put KY in your VA you go OH.

<timovgod> Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light
bulb?
<timovgod> A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room
to get it out.
<enaz> did your insurance cover it timovgod?
<timovgod> My car insurance covered it, I said I had I broken
tail light.

<uber> O_O
<uber> chill out aj
<AJ2> uber: eat shit
<AJ2> wait, you're asian...you might make a movie out of it :

Lckyduck322 : bitch, what the fuck do you want
theonejanitor : how are you
Lckyduck322 : i'm great and you

<King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side
"Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i
feel a cold chill running down my legs...

<n00dle> What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
<n00dle> Both involve 30-year-old meat in between two
nine-year-old buns.

<Esper> And last I checked... IRC is multiplayer notepad...
being naked really doesn't matter unless you're REALLY good
with ASCII art.

<Ninja_Cow> I view anal sex like eating cake with your anus.
<Ninja_Cow> It doesn't serve a purpose and it looks
disgusting.

<Hatamoto> IRC is like one giant round of intellectual bukake
;)

<crfh_> I just witnessed the weirdest threesome ever
<Invictus> ?
<TheBlackCupid> ...
<ShadesFox> oh?
<Strangeone> Larry, Moe and Curly?
<Reltzik-CodingForDearLife> .... Ooo..... kay....
<crfh_> My cat, another cat, and a POSSUM

<Jesus> and i kept getting banned simply becuase i lived in
france

<Sarah> the first Matrix was damn nice for an action movie.
for an action movie.
<Odin> Corny as hell endings.
<Johnny> Yes.
<Odin> Someone dies. Hell, let's bring 'em back to life with a
kiss, it works in Disney flicks!
<Sarah> Neo kisses Smith?
<Sarah> thanks for spoiling it for me, asstart.

<Ettin> Still, I thought the war would be over by now.
<Ettin> No country has an infinite supply of suicide bombers.

<Rentasmo> there was a gay guy at a support group I went to
who brought a dog in a bag
<Rentasmo> we didn't know he had a dog till he let it out
<Capnplank> did he bring enough for everyone?
<MrConceited> He was gay, not korean

<sekira> it was like 4 PM and my friends grandma msg'd him on
aim
<sekira> and she asked if he was still busy doing his
homework.
<sekira> I was really bored, so I went on his comp and said
"wtf?" and she replied: "wait til five?"

<sFa-Stryder`mp5> im fucking 96% iq.

<buggler> nataria you sex machine
<Nataria> buggler im not a sex machine...
<buggler> you're not? prove you're not
<PubiclyRelated> ;p; yeh
<PubiclyRelated> prove it lol
<Nataria> roflmao
<Nataria> how can i be a sex machine if i havent had sex? O:D
<Nataria> ha i winnnn :D
<buggler> it's like having a cooking machine that hasn't been
used, doesn't make it any less a machine
<Nataria> rofl
<buggler> you don't win, you lose. My rebuttal is second to
none
<Nataria> so im a sex machine waiting to be turned on?