<SaBoTaGeR> A little boy walks into his parents room to see
his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees
her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has
seen, she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
<SaBoTaGeR> The son sees his Mom and asks' "What were you and
dad doing? " The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a
big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help
flatten it."
<SaBoTaGeR> "You're wasting your time." say's the boy. "Why is
that? asked his Mom, puzzled? "Well when you go shopping the
lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it
right back up"

<slayer4si> hey does anyone have a good version of Hackers?
<slayer4si> or can get one?
<zMonk> no, but I could mail a pointy stick you could use to
poke one of your eyes out, if that helps

<Yoshio> OMG
<Yoshio> MY FIREWALL
<Yoshio> IS BLOCKING
<Yoshio> PORN!!
<`Bloodlust> lmao
<Yoshio> ahh much better..
<Yoshio> although i am looking at tubgirl.
<Yoshio> ewww.
<Yoshio> that so cant be real

<Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star
hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in
September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese
prostitutes.
<Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations

<A_Witt> it's 1:45 am and I swear I just heard somone walking
down the street playing a trumpet

tigeraid: another baby?
tigeraid: jesus christ lady it's a vagina, not a clown car

<ogg> i'm gonna invent a cereal called raisin hell

<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR =
EVERLASTING FUN

<guider> i fucking hate my biology teacher
<garfep> why?
<guider> hes such an asshole, he treats me like his fucking
personal assistant
<guider> he has me file shit for him and like make his lesson
plans and shit while he sits and flirts with the chicks in my
class
<guider> so i'm skipping his stupid class tomorrow
<garfep> you should just leave and be like "suck my cock"
<guider> i bet if i was a girl he would

<PotatoSan> Why in the hell is King Boo a heavyweight
character in Double Dash?
<PotatoSan> HE'S A MOTHERFUCKING GHOST!

khoveraki: anyway, Desert Storm is so blank to me
khoveraki: I don't know much about it
khoveraki: did we even finish that one?
Screamer499: Nope.
Screamer499: We stopped when we hit Baghdad
khoveraki: figures
khoveraki: any of our guys still there?
Screamer499: It's the same country we're fighting now, man.
Screamer499: so yeah.
Screamer499: A LOT of our guys are there.

<Fina> After American Idol, they came out with The Sims :
Superstar
<Fina> After this Harry Potter crap got popular, they came out
with Makin' Magic
<Fina> lol What if next year we get a bunch of WW2 movies?
<Fina> The Sims : Hailin' Hitler

Flint62704: Maybe someone should invent floating point D&D
Flint62704: Roll a d[1,6]
Flint62704: I got 4.4546347578554!
Flint62704: Sorry, he still has 0.000002425 hp left
Flint62704: You lose

* sipr has joined #winprog
<sipr> Where can I find information on dynamic data exchange?
<drano> 1994

<aml_> i mean, if you decapitate someone with a sword, it's
not fucking ceremonial
<dabblerblue> unless you're the highlander!!

<+nH|BradGTS> canada is like a loft apartment above a really
good party
<@TnH|Chick> yeah it is brad, and they're always bitchin

<Rhesirus|Work> yah, i could see how using a code would
activate some buggy code that would cause it to malfunction, i
don't see any way it could physically damage the media
<Tamutnefret> The special "read CD as if vinyl" code

<_TP_> "My name is Reginald P Linux and ever since my wife
died Ive been VERY depressed"
<SanityClause> He should recompile her kernel

<Kris> fuck!  someone stole all my beer and drank it and left
the empties all over my apartment!
<Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no
real memory of anything after 21:00

* Snake is now known as Snake|Food
* Magus steals snakes food
* Snake|Food is now known as Snake|
<Magus> lol
<Magus> score!
* Snake| is now known as Snake[[Food]]
<@Snake[[Food]]> it's in a cage
<@Snake[[Food]]> leave alone
<Magus> fux

taz10021: sleeeeep
VindicateD: Writing Paaaaaper
taz100: lol
taz100: you're still awake?
taz100: heh
VindicateD: No...this is the world's smartest away message
talking.
VindicateD: ;)
taz100: not if you couldn't figure out that was rhetorical
taz100: ;-)
VindicateD: touche

<g-core> Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long 1, Michael J. Fox
has a little one, Madonna doesn't have one and the Pope has
one but doesn't use it.  What is it.
<pip> last name
<pip> no wait
<pip> penis

<mizery> woot, I so got owned
<mizery> my laptop is dead
<aabnusar> ?
<Rhodz> MOUTH TO HARD DICK RESUSCITATION
* aabnusar laughs at mizery
<Rhodz> lol
<Rhodz> HARD DISK
<Rhodz> LMAO
<Rhodz> omfg
<aabnusar> lol
<Rhodz> wow what a typo to make

<Ich> broadband sucks in the sense that goatse loads before i
can close the window

<Valen> I'm doing a quick essay on differences between
genders.  Anyone got any point they think I should make?
<Ten> one has a penis, one has a vagina

* Eudoxus has joined #math
<Eudoxus> Can anyone help me write 1/(x^2-3x+2) as a power
series in x and find its radius of convergence?
<vrover> No
<vrover> But we can give you a lollipop
<vrover> Have a lollipop?

paper: shit
paper: flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?!
paper: shit i gotta warn bob

<Oceania> you penetrate my mouth
<Oceania> your in-and-outs are furious
<Oceania> sometimes a hair get stuck between my teeth
<Oceania> you always leave that white tasty liquid in my mouth
<Oceania> good ol' toothbrush

<luxe rabbit> did u hear about the 2 guys who robbed a
calendar factory?
they each got 6 months
<djmaximus16> hm ?
<djmaximus16> i didn't hear about them
<djmaximus16> what happeend

<Comatosis> wow this room is empty! we have it all to
ourselves :-p
<Alain> yup, just you and me :-)
* Comatosis gets naked
<Alain> uh, my mom is sitting here next to me, i dont want her
to think i chat with perverts
* Comatosis put his clothes back on
<Comatosis> sorry

<LexMortis> you know what would be nasty?
<LexMortis> if a pack of condoms said "tested on animals"

<SpAz> watch me rap
<SpAz> <rap>
<SpAz> yo yo yo
<SpAz> nigga bitch hoe
<SpAz> slap fuck bling
<SpAz> bling eskalizzle beeoch
<SpAz> yo
<SpAz> word.
<SpAz> </rap>
* McBilliam applauds
<Wyder> glad to see you listen to music.... (sarcastic)
<SpAz> thank you my record contract is in the mail with def
jamz

<whitcomb> there's this thing on the news about what to do if
someone cheats on you
<whitcomb> the simple answer, whether this is a relationship
or a video game, is to kill them

<faded> i found a pocket pussy in my cousins room last night
<SpaceGoat> even fat chicks
<SpaceGoat> hahaha
<dfury> hahaha
<faded> so i put it in the dish washer
<faded> to clean it so i could use it
<faded> and it fucking melted

Mario has joined #teens
<Mario> Hi r there ne hot gurls in here
<Coolguy3432> Sorry Mario, but the Princess is in another
chatroom

<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up
quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure
there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was
like, "WTF??"
<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind
of stuff I look at online.
<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
<ctone> ...
<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.

<Caedar[SOT]> God, I hate people with no game experience who
work at game stores.
<Kaelo[LoR]> yeah me too Caedar[SOT] ... You want what?  Gay
Sex 2?
<Kaelo[LoR]> *sigh* nonono, DEUS EX 2

<Jenova4> i eat whatever's in the panty
<NeroMan> I am lightweight
<Jenova4> pantry*
<MattW> what the
<Karva> YES!
<MattW> whoa
<MattW> whoa

( jamesog )  grr
( jamesog )  heh, milk seems to stain CD-Rs rather well
( kevin )  dude thats not milk

<Pursey> Spam has dropped to new lows
<Pursey> THIS IS WHERE THE CLITORIS IS LOCATED    XSGS
<Murphy> is that with gps coordinates?

[ Smitten ] My computer just asked me if i wanted to install
'Icons for blind users'....
[ Smitten ] HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?!!?!?!?!

longislandicedtea: What about New Jersey? It has all the
glamour of NYC with half the price
BarbiefromBR: whats in jersey
longislandicedtea: Nothing
longislandicedtea: Toxic waste

<me|sleep> Friends, let me regale you with a story of my past
and enlighten you with wisdom far beyond the reach of your
feeble minds...
*** Signoff: me|sleep (Excess Flood)

<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting
thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped
cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin

sUpRbritt420: im writing a persuasive essay on why the
drinking age should be lowered and breathalyzers should be
installed in cars while they are being built
sUpRbritt420: how do you write a persuasive essay ------like
are you allowed to ask a question?
VV1Z0: Sure
VV1Z0: You can start with a question like "Ever wondered why
there are so many underage drinking arrests? Because it's fun,
that's why.  We should let teenagers get as drunk as they
want, so long as they don't hurt others."

<MJL> The only thing that pisses me off is when someone
randomly enters my room at night during happy time.
<MJL> It's like a mad scramble to look innocent
<MJL> And it's a lose lose situation
<MJL> Because it's obvious you're trying to cover it up
<MJL> But I guess it's better than staring at your mother with
your penis hanging out and asking what's up.

RegEdit: Aquafresh Extreme Clean Toothpaste. Wow. Even
toothpaste can be extreme
hyt: YEAAAAAAAAAHHHH... and to the next event... extreme
gargling
RegEdit: It's called bukkake
hyt: Ewww

<ped> man hotmail is so gay
<ped> ecspecially now
<JC_Omega> ped, I've told you before its hotmail not
www.hotmale.com
<@SJr> LOL

<AL9000> I think it would be funny to bust up into somewhere
wearing a trenchcoat and start shooting people with a brightly
colored Super Soaker, and then after the intitial shock is
over and people are laughing or getting pissed off, you pull
out a real gun and start taking them down
<AL9000> But that's just me

<xCytheriAx> imagine losing your entire arm from a shark
attack.. eek, that poor girl
<BluECliQ> thats a shame..
<xCytheriAx> she said how she believes God has a plan for her
and doesn't think it's for her to get bitten by a shark twice
<BluECliQ> she might not get bit twice but if she falls off
the board i cant imagine her swiming to shore with only one
arm