<riffic> its the year 3030
<Mindless> 3030? Shit I'm late for work

<nirgleNap> lol, i just put on Najma as i'm sitting here
wiring up a circuit board
<nirgleNap> i realized how "odd" this might look.. having arab
music playing as i'm soldering red and green wires to a board
full of ICs

<DB7> Meat_30: Sex change?
<Meat_30> yep
<DB7> Works for me
<DB7> Any hole's a goat
<DB7> errr
<DB7> goal*

<zhirinovsky> do you know why old women don't get sex? have
you ever tried to peel apart grilled cheese sandwich?

HolaScumbag: GUESS WHAT.
qwerty8447: ?
HolaScumbag: my mom bought me a pen...shaped as A DOG!!!
qwerty8447: LMAO!
qwerty8447: that must be AWESOME!
HolaScumbag: I KNOW!
qwerty8447: which end do you write with?

<Morj|YeozWins> I was once driving along the freeway,and a
friend through some garbage out the window, and this lady ran
over it
<Morj|YeozWins> So she started chasing us
<Morj|YeozWins> So I started going like 150-180 km/h down the
freeway to get away, and she followed me
<Morj|YeozWins> So I eventualyl pulled over, and she gets out
of her car and runs up and goes "WHAT THE HELL, WHY WERE YOU
DRIVING SO FAST YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE, I HAVE A BABY IN THE CAR
YOU KNOW"

<elitotaco> hmm
<elitotaco> this is a new one
<elitotaco> "GROW 3 INCHES                  OF CHEST HAIR"

<Gecko> lmao, my mates download of "master and commander" is
infact "anal agency"
<EmPleh> lol
<Gecko> wait a minute
<Gecko> this isn't a real agency at all
<Gecko> they're just having sex
<Gecko> i'm suprised this lot ever get any work done

<Calvinosaur> I'm going to ethnically cleanse script kiddies.
I'll call it "The Final Solution to the j00ish Problem."

<MST3Claye> there's a site out there that shows people beating
super monkey ball levels really really fast.
<Merlin> I plan on setting a new world speed record for
Monopoly one of these days...
<Merlin> It's called we sit down, setup the game, I pull a gun
and go "look bitches, give me all your money and nobody gets
hurt!"
<Merlin> then I take the thimble hostage at the Water Works
and force everyone to surrender to me, then I win the game.
<Merlin> I figure my friends suck so much, I could win it in
about 30 seconds with that strategy.

<Shuka> Our band conductor lady is this really scary black
lady
<Shuka> and she's like, "Y'gotta have spirit blood"
<Shuka> and then like one time
<Shuka> She's like, "Yknow, don't tell your parents this, but
you guys sound like fucking shit"
<Shuka> and we were like o_O

* Fred (myEmail@..........net) Quit (Warning: Mirc, has caused
an illegal operation and will shut down. This happened because
you were about to Finish a download you were waiting on for a
month, and we can't have that.)

* Calylinde straps on strap-on-dildo, dry humps up to chanserv
<Calylinde> hahah
<Calylinde> come on, channy
<Calylinde> bend over!
<Calylinde> gimmme the O!
<Calylinde> Chanserv
<Calylinde> you whore
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Calylinde
<@Calylinde> Hahahahahahah

<FuManChu> And now, FuManChu presents another segment of
"Things I Learned In College:
<FuManChu> I learned today that if you have sex with your
girlfriend's younger sister, you will have a fight in the
middle of the campus center, regardless of what you try to
say.

<cryme> that would own
<cryme> to jack off of the empire state
<cryme> and see who gets killed by your cumshot

<treke|laptop> wtf is terrier_explosion
<hendersa> An exploding terrier.
<hendersa> Geez.  I though the filename was self explanatory.

|cmf> using semantics to mask the problems of our world is
only putting a bandaid on a bullet wound
|pedXing> yeah
|pedXing> but
|pedXing> it's a fuzzy bandaid, with cartoon characters on it.
|pedXing> which is really better than nothing.
|cmf> it sure is

<rivan> why
<rivan> does
<rivan> my
<rivan> heart
<rivan> cry?
<NippleHead> dunno
<NippleHead> but sounds serious

<@NapKiN> ANYONE KNOW PERL
<@NapKiN> ?
<dez> yeah
<dez> cant remember what porno she was in tho

<cdowdsux> So my friend was telling me about how he tried to
commit suicide by taking 20 Advil...so I was just like..
"Dude, why take 20 Advil when you could have just taken 3
Aleve?"

marek: hey, this is great. we finally have our own chatroom on
irc.
marek: now we can be on bash with our amazingly witty retorts,
counter retorts, and general repartee!
Palladia: fag

<@minion> i think abortion is a time travelling alien's plot
to stop us from advancing
<@NrK> no
<@NrK> conservitives are

<@Black_Dog> ryo: if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep?
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: damn straight i would
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: or the farmer's daughter

*** PoisonPen changes topic to 'Matrix Revolutions:  Smith: "I
R teh Ubermensch!  U R 0wn3d w/ my awesome Will!"  Neo: "No! 
Because I will refute teh diabilical existential angst w/ kung
fu!"  Smith: "Argh!  Now I must stand in the rain and shake my
fist at you! Why?  Why?"  Neo: "Ha ha!  I win by losing!  I R
teh Jesus!"  The end.'

<Pixistix>  I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and
Delete.
<Pixistix>  If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit
them all twice
<Pixistix>  Problem solved.

<theclubhousebarandgrillgod> i have a ????? who is the admin
here
<Kyle> You have a horse?
<jeff> I'd like to buy a vowel.

<@gloriaea> this is how wars start
<@gloriaea> someone puts up a swedish pop poster and a german
blames it on a finn

<zidane> hackquest.de is encrpyted! 
<alucardo> german isn't an encryption method 
<ps> the infamous "DE" Cypher

(Freddo) wasnt tetris supposed to be a statement about the
futility of a capitalist government
(Freddo) ?
(jayseven) O_o
(jayseven) dude
(jayseven) it was just a game
(jayseven) :P
(Freddo) yeah but it was coded by a red :P
(jayseven) you mean.. the blocks symbolise the commies?
(Freddo) i think the blocks symbolise money
(Dom^TopSpin) O_O
(Freddo) or maybe debts
(Dom^TopSpin) lol
(pdhq64) make a row of money, and it disappears?
(Freddo) something like that
(Freddo) its an important message to the children of today :P
(jayseven) maybe it's the publics efforts to banish their
tyrant
(jayseven) the more of them that attempt to reach the top, the
more likely they'll make a line and.. er.. dissapear

<y2kThug> i worked with a pretty dumb old broad when I was in
Stoneham
<y2kThug> she was getting all frustrated one day
<y2kThug> comes to me "I cant print."
<y2kThug> i stare blankly, "Why not?"
<y2kThug> "I dont know, it just wont print!"
<y2kThug> so i said "Maybe it's because you're standing at the
fax machine, not the printer."
<Darshu> nate- lol
<y2kThug> oh and then one day her desk phone died
<y2kThug> someone told her to take a phone off of one of the
empty desks
<y2kThug> she says "But what about all my voicemails?"
<y2kThug> shaking my head, "Jeanne, your voicemails arent _IN_
your phone."
<Snow> Eh, that's not too dumb. I mean, people interact with
answering machines where things are stored in the physical
device itself.
<Snow> A distributed phone system is a bit foreign the first
time you see one.
<y2kThug> Snow: she fucking sells telecom

* veganzombie has joined #uc
<veganzombie> Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....
* veganzombie has quit IRC (Quit: Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....)

(bannsheebot): I was so distracted by this banner ad, I typed
my login password into the url field.
(Ntruder): hah
(bannsheebot): it shows this little kid smacking his forehead,
and the word "College" next to him.
(Ntruder): someone somewhere deserves a marketing award

<frostyburn> damn it, there needs to be an auto-formatting
script in word that will automatically change all margins to
1.10 inches, spacing to 2.10, font size to 12.5, and
intermittently paste quotes from no name fuck faces... because
i'm getting tired of turning a 3 page paper into a 4 page
paper all by myself

[Buddha] wasn't Microsoft giving a bounty for hackers?
[Buddha] *catching hackers
<@AkamuTheInept> Ya, a free copy of '98
[Buddha] ...
[Buddha] >_<
<@Hallucination> lol
[Buddha] That's like giving out land mines for helping the
poor

<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you
won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached
to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.
<BChikapa> You'd have to chase it around.

<@chort> but can you trust those crazy dutch?
<@chort> i mean, WOODEN SHOES!
<@phessler> well, they did bring us the word SABOTAGE
<@phessler> and if it's good enough for the Beastie Boys, its
good enough for me

<sadsfae> why get married? just buy some woman you hate a
house

<jacob> fuck my deoderant combined with this other dudes one
smells awesome
<cpd> 0_o and HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THAT OUT

* sunny wanders back in the world of chemistry ... where the
H+ atoms have lost their protons and don't know where to find
them ...
<@guinea-pig> an ion walks into a bar and says "i think i left
an electron here lastnight"
<@guinea-pig> and the bartender says "are you positive?"
<sunny> hahahahaha
<mikegrb> that is awesome
<@guinea-pig> yes, we are geeks

--- noddy has changed the topic to: #Troll, troll, troll your
post, Gently down the feed. Merrily, merrily troll along, A
life is what you need!

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

* Curt stabs Stinger in the face with a generic object
<Curt> whee.
<The_Stinger> hey why do you find it neccesary to stab me in
the face with a generic object
<The_Stinger> o_O
<Curt> because I didn't have a specific object at hand.

<@chupa> i get my cable on the 19th which is gay
<@chupa> i don't know what i'm gonna do
<@chupa> what to d/l first
<@[TrIpLe]> movies
<@[TrIpLe]> porn movies
<@[TrIpLe]> full length porn movies

<@DocGonzo> saying mac osx has 'the power of unix' is like
putting whippets in your glovebox then saying your car has
'the power of nitrous'

ð da5id is listening to Chicago - Hard to say I'm sorry - Get
Away.mp3
<da5id> I better stop listening to chicago lest I invert
ð da5id is listening to Godsmack - Awake(Definatly have a
penis-REMIX).mp3
<da5id> ahh there we go.

<Zimbraizo> its ok to be fat
<Zimbraizo> but you should be fat between 3am and 6am when i
am sleeping

[deThfyRe] love my lunch break
[jen-bbl] hehe
[deThfyRe] DONT CALL ME FAT COCK NABBER

<Calisa> "After his arrest in 1990 police found photographs
that Black had taken of himself: one showed him with a
wine-bottle up his anus, another with a telephone-handset, yet
another with a table leg."
<FifthColumn> Sadly the inspectors drank from the wine bottle,
talked on the telephone, and beat a minority with the table
leg before they found the photographs.

<GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
<GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
<peasant> i call dibs on triangle

* stigma fingers into dashutri's fluff very slowly, stealing
the warmth away
* Dashutri blinks, and turns to ice.
<stigma> :(
<Dashutri> You STOLE my warmth. What did you expect?