<Eticam> I work at a computershop
<Eticam> And you don't wanna know how f***in' STUPID some
customers are
<Eticam> I get questions like:
<Eticam> "What is better, a scanner or printer?"
<Eticam> "I'm looking for a serious mouse"
<Eticam> "My internet doesn't work" "What kind of connection
do you have?" "Windows XP"
<Eticam> "The mouse you sold me is incomplete" "Ma'am, it's
meant to have no cable"
<Eticam> I even had a customer who brought his pc for
technical service
<Eticam> "My dog humped the pc and had an orgasm in the power
supply, and it short circuited" "how's the dog?" "Don't know,
my wife took him to the vet"
<Eticam> really, one day I'm gonna shoot myself in front of a
customer....

Eros: I'm going to shave off all the hair on my body and go
running down my street screaming about how aerodynamic I am.

<akcom> leeach, how'd you get so leet?
<leeach> years and years of masturbation in pantyhose.

<moira> community name should be unique over all categories,
sucks
<happy> you can't delete communities
<moira> sure you can
<moira> ask hitler

<Marasmus> So I was listening to a comedian who was talking
about the Queen of England being attractive when she was
young.
<Shae> Erm.. okay...
<Marasmus> And that some guys would talk about her, you know,
the lewd way guys do about celebrities.
<Marasmus> And some of the guys would go further than that...
and I thought, it must be very strange...
<Marasmus> masturbating to pocket change.

<chrisj> american kids are all "oh gee mom I didn't mean to
take a tip of dads bud light while he wasn't looking. i'll
never get drunk again, I swear"
<chrisj> and australian kids are all
<chrisj> "AHH CHEERS CUNTS, GIVE US A SQUIRT FROM YOUR GOON
BAG, DAD... AHHH CHEERS CUNT"

<Tim> Well it tastes gay.
<Gerard> How do you know what "gay" tastes like?

<djlaptop> could God write a program that's so intensive that
his cpu couldn't run it?

<xtal> Uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh?
<Mazca> stop masturbating quizzically.

<Loki> A mammal that lays eggs, is the ultimate breakfast
dish.

ResaiHawking: I don't have a library card, baby, but can I
check you out?

<bobby> I like you, Krayzie. You represent everything
stereotypical and depthless about today's gay youth.
<KrayzieWolF> well im acually bi

<JtotheB> it's a fact that you have to deal with sooner or
later
<JtotheB> the latent homosexuality involved with masturbating

<JtotheB> and i think i need to start wearing pants when i
climb that tree in your yard
<Shiv_DFA> you found the boobytraps, did you?
<JtotheB> i got a shuriken in my scrotum
<JtotheB> you tell me

* Patrick listens to chopin and strokes his axe... one day,
I'm going to get a girl, or most of one.

<[CNI]Smy> k now that i just relized that those were like $200
headphones
<[CNI]Smy> i am gona go out and buy some glue
<[CNI]Smy> and fix em
<[CNI]Goose> get crazy glue, it can even glue your arm back
on, U can use it for emergency surgery in the field....
<[CNI]Smy> no i cant
<[CNI]Smy> cuz then i will have the urge to cut my dogs legs
off and try to glue them back on.

<RedRaptor> I am the terror that flaps in the night
<Fruit> ......XXXL womens underwear on a clothes line?

< enclaved> apple has apparently made up for its stupid
miniipod
< hangman> what'd it do?
< enclaved> superbowl ads featuring people the riaa sued
< enclaved> its pepsis ad for the free songs
< enclaved> but, apple makes it posssible.
< RageFury> enclaved: So it's gonna pan the camera around
everyone in
the stadium?
< enclaved> heh
< enclaved> they didn't sue that many people...
< RageFury> WELL, Too bad that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers didn't
get
into the superbowl, or else they can pan the
camera around
the team and accuse them of being...pirates.

<Lan_> my iq is a range of 145-178
<kender> is that in kelvin?

<RapidX> Hey, was wondering... when buying a fan.. how do you
determine if the fan is a fan that blows in air or blows out?

<LordStan> Jed, why can't you have a fake man that has a
magical motor that drives a series of gears and what-not to
make a robot?
<Jedisar> LordStan: Because he's busy starring in a new FF
game.
<LordStan> I would say something sarcastic to that, but
chances are you're right.

<Amici|Kitty> 666 is the number of the beast ;P
<momo8D> 6667 is the number of you losing whatever social life
you might have had.

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you

[brs`IRC]: Amish girls are incredibly sexual.
[brs`IRC]: You've never had a handjob until you've had one
from a girl who
[brs`IRC]: works a butter churn all day.

<torgofan720> I'm still planning on having a love child with
LaggedyAnne by mailing her a vial of sperm frozen in a bag of
freezer veggies
<torgofan720> Gonna name the kid Greenbean

<Thund3r> I just thought of something ... since its year of
the monkey does that mean GW Bush will get re-elected?

* HowardDean has joined #politics
<HowardDean> yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

<Novasol> heh, I was looking for an emulation site the other
day.... and I was using AvantBrowser, which has a built in
popup blocker...
<Novasol> AvantBrowser makes a sound when it blocks a popup...
<Novasol> I swear, I went to one site and it played the tune
to funky town

* AquaJew2 is now known as AquaJew
<Allvah> JewTwo?
<AquaJew> Yea, like MewTwo, but Jewish
<LordRed> Basically, jewtwo's main attack is he lies to your
boss about finding a hair in his soup so you get fired and he
gets a five dollar off coupon

<@ImmenseMalevolentCanisLupis> Linux is like a pair of boxers
without the tag cut off. So free but so uncomfortable.

<Petersen> damnit
<Petersen> i just stood on a 512meg dimm
<Petersen> anyone wanna buy a pair of half length dimms?
256meg each

<Heem> [entropy], have you ever heard of WiFi?
<[entropy]> I don't listen to techno

<@Mister_IQ> you ever watch Who's Line is it Anyway?
<@Axiom> of course
<@Mister_IQ> They have the contest where they have to make
every single line a double entendre...
<@Mister_IQ> If you know what I mean...
<@Mister_IQ> I love that
<@Axiom> sounds really hard.

<masterchain> go away crimson...
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> Actually I will
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> As soon as I finish configuring
Windows.
<masterchain> uncheck the "jewish" box
<masterchain> and it'll work fine
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> lol
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> The thing is
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> What's doing the problem
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> Is the Hebrew settings
<[OP]CrimsonDeath90210> ...

<Saddam_Hussein> This room is being too fucking hateful.

<+Quantsini> when i say the word "ramen" what words come to
mind?
* Ikari has joined #STNJ
<@[Polynomial]> instant
<ph4tkid> ninja
<+Zanshi> porn
<Ikari> instant ninja porn?!?! WHERE???!?!
<+Quantsini> ...

<rastakid> Which one shouldn't be there: rape - monopoly -
incest ?
<seal> Monopoly?
<rastakid> Wrong! Rape, because it's not a family game.

<Camper_Bob> What would jesus do?
<Milo> Altar Boys.....

<@j0nkatz> jwbozzy: I have an audi out port on my cd player in
my car.
<@j0nkatz> audio
<nukle> heh.
<nukle> fordian slip.

<Burn132> How do I make it so that I can hear you guys talk
and not just see the captions???

<nomad> im getting supermassive black holes
<nomad> woohooooooooooooo!
<nutkase> i saw a porn with that title
<nomad> yeah right
<nutkase> but i think it might have been submissive black hoes

<IceToad> anyone listen to the state of the union?
<IceToad> some of his statements confused me
<Syntacs> IceToad: Don't worry, he felt the same way.

<dream|away> Harry Potter's hot.
<dream|away> And every book he gets closer to legal age. 
Oooooh yeahhhh.
<dream|away> ...
<dream|away> Someone else say something.

<dizdaz89> my mom is getting a new matress...so I have to go
soon

<wshs> on @*:TEXT:*allah*:#:kb $nick terrorist!

<dFYNE> Geography of a Man
<dFYNE> A man is like Iraq, ruled by a dick.

<fr3ak-> atleast when you lose your virginity you will still
have the box it came in

<Tiedyeguy> ok this DJ has a wierd sense of humor... "Campus
police is sending out a warning about a prowler around the
university... And now something on my personal playlist"
*plays AC/DC - Night Prowler*

<BlastuR> i'm new to C++ (and C), and I want to learn C++.
I've got Visual C++. It seems to me that a lot of stuff
compiles even if you mix C and C++ code.. is there any way I
can set the compiler in strict C++ mode, I don't want to learn
C/C++ mix mode ;)
<qDotWork> BlastuR: You need a segregating compiler
<qDotWork> I think the KKK has one on their website.
<qDotWork> Also, name your functions things like "NoCHere" and
"CGoHome" and "CIsTheImpureRace", to let C know that you'll
have none of it around.
<qDotWork> I'm actually working some concentration camps for C
right now.
* qDotWork is now known as CppHitler
<kewk> BlastuR, you can't compile only C++, as C and C++
overlap a lot.
<CppHitler> NEIN
<CppHitler> DAS C++ IST DIE ABSCHLIEßENDE LöSUNG
<cynic_X_> HEIL

<Ded`work> "Roses are red, violets are blue, all of my base,
are belong to you"...heh, cute
<Ded`work> a geek valetine poem
<Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF
<phillys> rofl