<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants
and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large
elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

* Ardham refuses to put flamable objects in close proximity to
his manhood.... though it may have prevented the 3 kids he has
now.
<Tierrie_> Its not too late to put flamable objects near your
kids

<jesus_X> Back in high school, I was fueding with this
football phag, because I boinked his sister, then broke up
with her. In the middle of english class, he starts making
noises calling me gay, fag, etc.
<jesus_X> So, after 15 minutes of it, and him not listening to
the teacher to shut up, I got him good.
<jesus_X> I turned around, looked him dead in the eye, and
said:
<jesus_X> You didn't have any complaints last night!
<jesus_X> He NEVER spoke to me again.

<Macavity> Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia,
poems write you.
<Costilled> next time please just link the bash quote
<|Wolf|> my ass is red, my balls are blue, you read bash.org,
I DO TOO!

<fiz> I'm touching my hard drive right now
<fiz> adjusting the pins
<Khazwerk> mmm
<fiz> spinning up my disk
<fiz> s
<Khazwerk> what jumper position is it set at?  tell me
*slowly*
<fiz> READING/WRITING
<fiz> READR
<fiz> READ
<fiz> READ
<fiz> WRITE
<fiz> whew
<FengWork> that was quick.
<fiz> yeah, my seek time rocks
<fiz> spins down

<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a
porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what
decade

<D-FENZ> anyone know how much you can overclock the 2500xp
before shit happnes
<Moonman> if u smell burning....then i'd slow down :P
<Malthius> sounds like sex really

<[GSF]Pyronus> CAPSLOCK IS AUTOPILOT FOR COOL

[CaSiNo] wtf is the trivia game?
[Hellz] type /wuit to start it
::: quit: (Hellz) (Quit: —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— 2.0
Build 3515)

<oliciv> Roses are red,
<oliciv> violets are blue,
<oliciv> badger badger badger,
<oliciv> badger badger mushroom

<Foobar> stealth hacking? i am about as stealthy as a pregnant
elephant on crack.

<@Majistic> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 39 is:
<@Majistic>            (Geography) What is the basic unit of
currency for Syria ?
<MEBKlaymen> children
<evol> women

<Aglandiir> All you have to do is have a huge amount of energy
<Aglandiir> etc.
<Aglandiir> you can make a l33t food replicator
<+Bayonetto> I must admit
<Aeriana> But I want n3rd to DCC me food everyday.
<Aeriana> ;)
<+Bayonetto> I'd rather be able to fire myself to the coast or
something.
<+Triskelios> but you're cooking it...
<+Triskelios> =P
<Aeriana> No, I'm too lazy.
<+Arty2> you'll download it through kazaa
<+Triskelios> haha
<+Triskelios> pirated food
<Aeriana> Then they'd be suing you for copyrights.
<+Bayonetto> illegaly shared pizza.
<Aglandiir> It would be dummy food
<+Arty2> cracks for pasta
<+Triskelios> free KFC for everyone
<Aglandiir> it wouldn't be a burger
<Aglandiir> it would be a photo of Madonna screaming at you
<Aglandiir> YOU BTCH WHY ARE YOU STEALING MY FOOD

<WickedClown> well one night after sex i was lazy and left the
condom on the floor till morning
<WickedClown> her dog ate it
<WickedClown> and her dad found it hanging from the dogs butt
the next day

<BMPthePNG> haha
<BMPthePNG> I put on smashing live and my cat laid down and
purred
<BMPthePNG> so I thought 'hmmm' and put on System of a down
<BMPthePNG> she went and attacked the dog

[+Silus]: is there anywhere you can fix graphics cards ? Pm me
plz
[@foulkesaway]: what u mean 'fix'
[@madmk]: like.. he snapped it in-half and needs some special
graphics-card glue

* FL|Oz has joined #gamesnet
<FL|Oz> OH LEET
<FL|Oz> i am not banned anymore
* [29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa has joined #gamesnet
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> YAY
<FL|Oz> were u banned too?
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> no i forgot how to use mIRC

[RJoeFish] hmmm
[RJoeFish] my mom forwarded me something called 'Who's your
daddy?', this can't be good

<DoesNotExist> HAHAHAH. HAMLET THE TEXT ADVENTURE.
<doughnut> DUDE.
<Zinger> You have two options.
<Zinger> 1) Be.
<Zinger> 2) Not be.
<doughnut> hahahaha
<Gohanmastaflex> haha

DinjackPD: so I'm studying for my history final
DinjackPD: And there's this old WW2 propaganda poster
DinjackPD: Of this guy driving along alone with an outline of
hitler next to him
DinjackPD: And the title is
DinjackPD: 'WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE, YOU RIDE WITH HITLER!'
DinjackPD: isn't that contradicting?
Jahman98: hahahahah
Jahman98: yeah
Jahman98: that's great stuff
DinjackPD: 'When you ride alone, you ride ALONE, however you
do use up valuable gas that is intended for the war effort and
thus make it easier for the Nazis to win. You Jew hating
BASTARD.'

[scratchme] Cris, you ever smell moth balls before?
[scratchme] ;)
[PaC] scratchme: Smell is understatement. I've had them put in
my mouth when I was younger.
[scratchme] PaC, how did you get their little legs apart?

<Onux> [Onux PING reply]: 2mins 48secs
<Onux> =(
<rich> man
<rich> i could probably drive out to you
<rich> say something
<rich> and drive back to peoria
<rich> and it'd be faster than if i typed it here

< jgaddis> know what's funny?
< jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x  2 root  wheel  85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/
bin/less
< jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x  2 root  wheel  85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/
bin/more
<@LeBear> A green tapdancing kangaroo!
< jgaddis> more is really less
<@LeBear> jgaddis: more or less, of course
< patrickT> so less IS more! :)
<@SpamapS> less is not more, less is more than more
< jgaddis> less isn't more
< jgaddis> more is less
<@LeBear> SpamapS: how much more is less more than more?
<@SpamapS> no, more is less than less.
< themaxxz> less is indeed more
<@SpamapS> LeBear: more tha more is less than less.
<@LeBear> SpamapS: you mean less is more more than more is
less less?
<@SpamapS> LeBear: more or less

<+mR_sCaRy> start killing stuff in task manager
*** seeen
(seeen@CPE00055dea8987-CM0010954a5bde.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com)
has left IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<+mR_sCaRy> not that one :P

<Zero> in the summer my friend was chipping golf balls
<Zero> one ball went on my other neighbours yard
<Zero> chased him with a pitch fork
<Zero> honest to god
<Zero> a pitch fork

<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and
calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught
my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...

DShadow_: I don't have any use for floppies now.
DShadow_: Though I've still got a ton in my closet
twist: better archive them to cdr before they rot
DShadow_: Most of them I did.
twist: (then archive those to dvd-r before they rot)
LafinJack: and archive *those* to MTRs
LafinJack: ack, i'm not supposed to talk about that :o
DShadow_: LafinJack: MTR?
LafinJack: shh, you didn't hear me say that

<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked
:)
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide ( 12  619 12  )

<ShatnersBassoon>Ouch.  Just been to the toilet for a poo, and
I decided to do a bit of a dangleberry-tidy.  Suffice it to
say I'm now several bumhairs lighter.
<Kenny>That's probably more information that I needed.
<Kenny>"than"
<Kenny>fuck

>>> join/#php: jbc [jbc@p129-tnt5.syd.ihug.com.au]
< haazard> do you know php?
< jbc> no, this is a drugs channel
< jbc> we used to be #pcp
< jbc> but we all forgot how to spell it

Holy Man: Our local Catholic church has plans to bring their
parishioners to services by bus
THe Monkey: Are they gonna call it 'Mass Transit'?
Holy Man: smartass

Ifonlyiwerecool: we're supposed to make a program for java,
and it has to get the highest # out of a set
Ifonlyiwerecool: and we're supposed to name the program
'getHigh'

<Binkster> since I started using OpenBSD... I went from six to
eight inches!
<BSDuser> stop lying and your nose will get back to normal

EiNHaNdeR MK II> you know that term "If you were my homework,
i would be doing you on the desk right now"
EiNHaNdeR MK II> i changed it to "If you were my homework, my
dog would be eating you right now"
EiNHaNdeR MK II> i was slapped by this fat chick in class when
i said it

zadijan:  CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001, Viagra will
only be available through chemists by its chemical name. So
please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you.
zadijan:  ... OH MY GOD
zadijan:  THAT WAS THE BEST EMAIL I EVER RECEIVED
zadijan:  EVER

<Yak|Sleep> One day
<Yak|Sleep> The stupidity of the world will implode on itself
<Yak|Sleep> Taking the universe with it
<Trufant> i shall live on mars by then
<WhiTey-FU> can't wait.
<Yak|Sleep> Congratulations
<Yak|Sleep> You officially are one of those to contribute to
the implosion

<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> aw shit.
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> i was deleteing some files
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and i sneezed
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and deleted an entire tree

<billiam> crap... some one knocked over my recycle bin...
there's icons all over my desktop...

<Pedingto> I find this job can be real hell at times.
<Pedingto> When this UBER-FIT woman came in
<Pedingto> and purchased many packs of condoms.
<Pedingto> I so wanted to ask her if she heard our try before
you buy policy >:)
<Etheria_Dawn> LOL!

<LEPREHAUN> does anyone knows how backups are done in offices?
<Dazzlemar> slight of hand and mirrors

<Volt9000> WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS PUBES ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD?!
<FunG> you coughed?

<+usrbingeek> NBC has announced it will air a three-episode
marathon of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy opposite the Super
Bowl on February 1st.
<+usrbingeek> So, if you get tired of watching a bunch of
buff, sweaty men in uniforms patting each other on the ass and
bending over to pass something between their legs, you now
have the choice of watching something really gay.

<Wolfie_Fox> someone should make a song about ping timeout's
<Man1c-M0g> look at the badger badger flash, replace badger
with 'ping', mushroom with 'timeout', and snake with
'netsplit', and theres your song wolfie.

* Charles wakes up. Dammit, I can't even get laid in my own
dreams. ;_;
<Charles> My dream was just about meeting some girl who was
willing to sex me up, and then two weeks worth of meeting up
in various places to do so and getting interrupted and
sidetracked for various reasons.
<Mads> Oooh, oooh, go on, do go on!
<Charles> Sex at my house? Parents come home. Sex at the mall
bathroom? Security guard breaks it up. Sex in the woods?
Attacked by wolves. Sex in a cottege in the woods? A witch
lives there.
<Mads> ...
<Mads> That's the weirdest fucking datesim ever, mate.

<b1u3> in france they call it "irque with cheese"

* Entoutcas has quit IRC (Quit: And the Lord said unto John;
Come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and
won a toaster...)

<Fabrice> GNAW ON NO WANG.
<Fabrice> This message brought to you by the Society of
Lesbians for Palindrome Advancement

<Indogutsu> I once got an e-mail from the former prince of
Niger.
<Chocoboko> What did he want?
<Indogutsu> To know if I was interested in increasing my penis
size.

<Lyrai> What's the difference between Slow Motion and Bullet
Time?
<Lyrai> About $100 Million.

<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is
like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better
way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it."