<WilBeDed> Anyone Alive?
<WooShell> no. i am sorry. everyone's dead at the moment.
please leave a requiem after the tone.

<VTSquire> stileproject has fucked up my sex life
<ashp> VTSquire can't get hard without pissing in his
girlfriends face :(

<AcidGame> Shit!
<legozrule> What?
<AcidGame> I downloaded an xbox emulator, and when I tried
playing a game, it locked up, so I decided to end it.
<legozrule> Then what?
<AcidGame> I accidently clicked 'send error report to
microsoft' >_<

<+KrazyKid> is there anything more American than a McDonalds
IN a Wal-Mart?
<+JitSpout> little cesars in a kmart
< Overand> KrazyKid: how about someone stealing from the cash
register in the mcdonalds in the wal-mark
< Overand> how about snorting coke in the bathroom of the
mcdonalds in the walmart
<+awed> haha
< pvah731> hahah
<+KrazyKid> Overand: hmmm.
<+JitSpout> how about snorting coke off a hookers ass in the
bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart?
< Overand> heh
<+JitSpout> a DEAD hookers ass
<+awed> dead from snorting too much coke off the last hooker's
ass
<+JitSpout> with her head in the toilet, getting swirlied
<+awed> CHOCOLATE swirlied
<+JitSpout> ohh baby
< pvah731> how about someone on welfare with 3 kids that
wieghs 300 pounds and is wearing a nascar shirt in mcdonalds
in a walmart saying "fuck them sand niggers"

<visi-work> what's the hairy stuff in the cat5 cable for?
<BrassMonk> insulation?
<rm> its fur.

<Budgie> Opencanvas is a free-for-30-days-and-then-it-breaks
program for windows.
<Budgie> unless you pay :(
<RabbitGod> well I think I'll stick to my photoshop 7 with the
kazza lite discount

<oz> i wonder if i can get a gentoo as a pet
<oz> they are so cute
<ph1zzle> man, that is cute
<ph1zzle> I wonder what they taste like

<nyar> ok time to go to work
<simpleton> work?
<simpleton> oh shit
* simpleton &

<Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
<kibet> which is?
<Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin"

<ilifin> Crazy idea.
<ilifin> Keanu Reeves as Sauron
<ilifin> Hugo Weaving as Isildur
<ilifin> Keanu: How about I give you the finger.. and you give
me back my ring.

<turkey> my friend saw r kelly's purple escalade with
lamberghini doors, and spinners
<HongKongPhooey> did he see the 3 11 year olds inside?

<jdm> i just accidently urinated on my face
<@Static> did you take a picture?
<jdm> no
<jdm> let go of my wang to catch the toilet seat, it began to
fall
<jdm> pissed all over the back of the toilet then it swung up
and hit me in the face like a fire hose

<mindy>why are men so insecure about how long their penises
are?
<topbottom>it's not that we're insecure, it's just something
we like to keep track of, like our shoe size
<topbottom>men need to know this so that when a chick asks us
how long our cock is, we know what to multiply by 1.5
<mikeyL>yeah, so i'd say 6 inches
<mikeyL>wait
<mikeyL>fuck
<topbottom>lol

<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world

(@Furrikain) quickly, put your head to my anus!
(@Furrikain) you can hear the sea =D

<Nathicana> invasion, penetration, domination ... tis all
related.
<Sirithil> Yes, my militarism is just all Freudian
expression...

<RazielHex> Whaddya do if you see a friend's picture in a porn
site?
<Yamatto> you link us for a start.

<Queued> It must be late -- "perl5" is looking like "penis"
<Boinger69> Stay up until "VB" looks like "a good idea"

<Space-Monkey|ftw> my hand is stuck in my pc case

<sh1bby> man..top 5 inventions by black people...whats up with
that
<sh1bby> what about the white people's inventions??
<s3llout> uh..slaves
<s3llout> pwned

<Wingzy> crud, you should come to windsor some day
<crudmonky> Wingzy: i would, but i have recurring nightmares
that i might find myself stuck in canada
<crudmonky> and a sole frenchman armed with just a white flag
would invade and win

<PasteyGamer> So, what class of character would you like to
be?
<Malt_Liqa> Possibly a theif.
<PasteyGamer> Um, alright. There are many forms of that class
like, rogue, assassin...
<Malt_Liqa> I'll be an assassin!
<PasteyGamer> Are you sure, there are some downsides.
<Malt_Liqa> Are you fucking kidding?! It has ass in it! TWICE!
<PasteyGamer> Why the fuck haven't I killed you yet?

<Necro^Partehh4t> if someone insults canada the best thing u
can say is
<Necro^Partehh4t> atleast im not french-canadian :.
<[HI]Widget> lol
<Bob_the_cannibal> what if you're french-canadian?
<Necro^Partehh4t> then you suck

<kaleido:#cisco> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at
etrade
<Blaxthos> HEY I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE
<kaleido> classic moment
<Blaxthos> hahahaha
<kaleido> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<kaleido> 20 cubes all shouting out, "HEY EVERYBOSY, IM
LOOKING AT GAY           PORN!"
<kaleido> followed by 20 guys all in my cube ready to beat me

<res0> LapCat says elizabeth hurley has DSLs
<mattt> broadband?
<res0> dick sucking lips
<res0> she does have some nice lips, but reducing such an
astoundingly attractive woman to a sexual object that any
street slut could embody is something i'd never do.
<jotun> yeah, that's my job!
<res0> sucking dick?
<jotun> :<

<zorba> man tesla was a cool guy
<zorba> he basically transmitted power over 30 feet without
the use of wires
<arpit> i can do it too :P
* arpit throws a battery

<Rhodz> bah
<Rhodz> so sick of this superbowl crap
<Rhodz> they just cater to the lowest common denominator
<Rhodz> I half expect next year's superbowl to be a reality
home improvement show where the two teams have to build the
stadium and when they're done get voted off their teams one by
one until the last two have to compete in a singing contest
judges by that simon guy from american idol, and the winner
wins the superbowl alone, and gets a free makeover from the
queer eye dudes and then a week later finds out he was
"punk'd" and he didnt really win anything
<Rhodz> ..
<Rhodz> wait...that sounds like an awesome show

* sty is now listening to Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two
Tribes
* Bluey is now listening to The Printer - Churning Out Pages.

<Fig_leaf> i saw this black kid the other day
<Fig_leaf> he was wearing a jersey type shirt with 'DMX - Ruff
Riderz' on it.
<Fig_leaf> i asked what 'DMX' has to do with Teddy Roosevelt?
<Fig_leaf> and he hit me
<Fig_leaf> >:(

<TKD-Azmodeux> I'm embezzling all the clan funds into jerkin's
hand lotion.
<TKD-Strider> Why do you need that?
<TKD-Azmodeux> ...Yes...why indeed...

<ISO_Girl> i need to trim my hair
<Anarchy_Creator> meh short hair on a woman = no
<Anarchy_Creator> i think shoulder length is good
<ISO_Girl> wrong hair buddy
<Anarchy_Creator> ...

<Joe> so if somebody said "I did your momma" what would you
say?
<Eric> Daddy?
<Joe> okay, you got me there, that was a good one

<notlewdminx> Jesus would be so much cooler if he hatched from
an egg
<coke-> haha
<notlewdminx> Immaculate conception? BIG DEAL
<notlewdminx> Eggboy? AWESOME
<coke-> THEY POKED A HOLE IN THE JESUS EGG
<notlewdminx> You could paint it

<NW>: The NHL has the Stanley Cup, the MLB has the World
Series, and the NFL has the Super Bowl.
<NW> I'm not sure what the NBA has...
**Reno sips vodkety.
<[Drum]>: The Championship.
<Ran[afk]>: The Rape Accusation Trial.

<epictetus> is <3 supposed to be a heart or an ass hat?

<deophite> HOLLAND, Michigan (AP) -- Tacking Jr. or II onto a
boy's name is too common, a new father decided, so the
self-described engineering geek took a software approach to
naming his newborn son.
<deophite> Jon Blake Cusack talked his wife, Jamie, into
naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.
<Yale> nice ;x
<Craisin> haha
<Craisin> when he learns to walk, 2.1

<Drewtetz> new internet pickup line! "Girl, you're so hot your
file extension should be .fap!"

<Tremolo> They tried to shove Christianity down my throat
<Zenith> That's not where you're supposed to *shove*
Christianity!  Look at the priests!  They know what they're
doing.

<harlequin> shut the fuck up
<harlequin> all of you make me fucking sick
<JewBagel> Im sorry
<harlequin> what has irc become
<JewBagel> ...I like bacon if that helps at all.

<Bushido> But I suppose a goth chick at KFC would be just as
funny.
<Scarab> "Is your crispy chicken as crisp as dead leaves
swaying from the gallows of skeletal wooden claws hewn from
their withered arms by jagged-fanged steel?" "Nah, but it's
pretty damn crunchy." "I accept."

<Ich> Why are you hosting on port 666?
<Texasdex> just for the hell of it

(@Josh) do you know where your children are
(~cypher) in the bottom of the sock on the floor
(@equin0x) ..
(@Josh) for your mother to find?
! @Josh thinks his mom caught him a few times
(~cypher) its not going to clean itself :S

<Snoody> Banky, are you still a virgin?
<Banky> Ask your mom.
<Snoody> She said yes.

<ProAlias> re
<ProAlias> phew
<ProAlias> time flies when you're playing Desert Combat
<ProAlias> no wonder the americans are stuck in Iraq
<Jeedo> lol

<JtotheB> ( o  Y  o )
<Yosho> o.o
<Nazi[Genocide]> I wonder if anyone's ever gotten off to ascii
pr0n, like in the 80's
<JtotheB> Way ahead of you.

<Arsonic> steam, steam, the magical fruit. the more you play
the more you reboot

<DaedalusX> most constipation is where your ass muscles have
had it tho :P
<Nigelenki> x.o
<Nigelenki> that's gonna happen to me one day
<Nigelenki> my ass is gonna just give out from the stress
<DaedalusX> heheheh
<DaedalusX> Elvis died straining on the toilet :P
<Nigelenki> o.o;
<DaedalusX> in case you didn't know
<Nigelenki> i was referring to things going in more than
coming out.

<Lunaris> In Taiwan, A Sperm Whale Suddenly exploded in the
streets
<Lunaris> according to my newspaper
<Stiletto> I heard something about that
<Stiletto> I wish I had been there
<Lunaris> theres blood and guts everywhere...
<Stiletto> That would have fuckin ruled to see
<Lunaris> yuck...
<Thalamasa> ....
<Thalamasa> So wait
<Thalamasa> So there's this sperm whale
<Stiletto> "Dude that fuckin whale just exploded!"
<Thalamasa> In the streets
<Thalamasa> And it just exploded
<Thalamasa> Out of nowhere
<Stiletto> It was being hauled
<mia> LMFAO
<Stiletto> To a science lab
<Thalamasa> Okay
<Lunaris> it was being carried on a flatbed
<Thalamasa> So
<Thalamasa> yeah
<Stiletto> And internal pressure caused it to combust
<Stiletto> Sperm whale isn't meant to be anywhere except water
<Lunaris> and BOOM!!
<Stiletto> I can explain more if you like
<Lunaris> OMG...
<Flession> now they gotta clean up all the sperm
<Thalamasa> ...
<Lunaris> I am never going to that site again
<Thalamasa> Look
<Lunaris> ugh...
<Lunaris> ...
<Stiletto> Why?
<Thalamasa> Thank you for turning a whale exploding
<Thalamasa> into a bukkake fest
<Flession> I try

* Avatar-X gives kris a colourful gift box with question marks
and tux's printed all over. "Open it!"
* Kris looks around nervously and slowly opens it
<Avatar-X> it's empty!
<Avatar-X> the box represents what an open-source linux
programmer makes in a year :)

Sushispook: so we're swapping out all these old pc's with
newer ones
Sushispook: and we're stacking them up in piles in the cube
next to me
Sushispook: and all the old ones have various notes on them,
since some have been pillaged for parts
Sushispook: i go into the cube to talk to the rentatech and
see how he's doing, and i lean up against the cube
Sushispook: and i end up walking out with one of those notes
stuck to my ass
Sushispook: and just try and guess what that note said
Sushispook: NEEDS HARD DRIVE
Sushispook: right on my ass