<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

<Gin> Cocaine is white
<Gin> Marijuana is green
<Gin> So won't you please be
<Gin> My drug lord queen
<Gin> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

<`Riku> The new Britney Spears music video is like a softcore
porn video
<`Riku> except the music ain't quite as good.

O100111001101111: IRC = comedy Gold
Art of Tanz: did you discover bash?
O100111001101111: negative
O100111001101111: i discovered #Catholic

<Redbeard> I declared my undying love to someone.
<Redbeard> I told her that my love is like the skeleton
turtles in Mario.

<ArnRim83> An issue of Nintendo Power I have, (Issue 16) calls
Pilotwings "Flight Club". Another tentative title I guess
<anarchy99> YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FLIGHT CLUB

<Typhlosion> In Spanish channels, do they use !list¡ ?

Maelstrom III: i think valentines day is ddosing hallmark.com

<epoch--> crap, getting my license renewed while baked was a
bad idea
<epoch--> every time they take my picture for it, i end up
looking like a criminal.. this time i look like a stoned
criminal

WALLOP shadow:  $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips
how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ I don't think swallowing semen would help
either
WALLOP shadow:  $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water
would help
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with
that
WALLOP shadow:  $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would
taste like
WALLOP shadow:  $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up
already!

<GiLtY2> oh god, this program is killing me
* crumpiano fights off program
* GiLtY2 has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<crumpiano> i guess the program got him

* MaianAlien goes to reformat other PC.
<Jerec> It's as if a million files suddenly cried out in
terror, and were suddenly silenced.

<Saltank> I swear, John Kerry looks just like a 70 year old
Max Payne.

< madsen> Lol, just found this in the /.-comments to the win2k
source leak. "Real men don't do backups, they just pack their
files into windows_2000_source_code.zip and post them to their
website.... with torrent links..."

<cheapo> haha, this screen appeared on my windows that said
"time before shutdown: 60 seconds"
<cheapo> so i turned the windows clock 2 years backwards and
now it says "time before shutdown: 729 days" :D:D
<cheapo> i just love windows :D

<JediDrunkenLlama> YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> YES YES YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> score one for the JDL.
<JediDrunkenLlama> I just convinced a telemarketer that I'm
female.

<Jackryan2000guy> You know you've played too much soul caliber
when you get the sudden urge in the middle of a calculus test
to stand up, wave your fist and yell, "Souls! Come to me!"

seamus: Monday is President's Day.
seamus: What are YOU going to get YOUR president?
seamus: I'm going to get mine a dictionary and a Clifford the
Big Red Dog book.

< kate> wat r u doin ryt now
< Patrick`> Trying not to hunt you down and beat you into a
pulp with a dictionary.

<gikmo> ill sell you my sister for a sausage roll and a
beer...
<gikmo> would be more, but she's used.

<Cthulhu> What the fuck is up with all the "roses are red"
quotes on bash.org?
<Matt> They're cool, that's what...
<Cthulhu> Roses are red, violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP,
YOU FUCKING JEW

<Fawn> OMG
<Fawn> I just found out that my little brother has the hots
for the same actress I have the hots for
<AccordionGuy> ACTRESS SANDWICH

<Cas> I used to enjoy going into Best Buy back in 95, do a
search on them for *.exe, *.bat, *.com it always came up with
a few thousand
<Cas> drag all of them to the startup folder
<StarManta> ROFL
<Cas> walk away and watch :)
<mystic_1> rofl
<Cas> act innocent
<Cas> always worked for me, they never suspected a girl would
do that :)

* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters"
part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar

(SuperMarine): i swear to go
(SuperMarine): d
(SuperMarine): if that dog next door dosnt shut up
(SuperMarine): im going to do something bad
(AfroTrance): like complain over irc

<The Monkey>: But my ex girlfriend's dad had one redeeming
feature, his wallet
<The Monkey>: More capacious than an elephant's scrotum but
just as difficult to get your hands on

< mf> LeeCHeSSS, i said it before and i'll say it again
< mf> you're too damn serious for the internet
< mf> go read bash.org or something
< mf> ;D
< floris> haha
<+LeeCHeSSS> I seriously dislike bash.org
<+LeeCHeSSS> And why you think I am too serious for the
internet is beyond me.
< mf> LeeCHeSSS: you just answered your own question

* ViVa changes topic to 'SELECT boobs FROM under_the_shirt
WHERE gender = 'female' AND size > 'enough' AND leftsize =
rightsize LIMIT 2;'

<stony> i'm sort of distracted at the moment]
<Skip>  getting laid?
<stony> lol no
<Skip>  then you have no excuse

<stout> I think smokers invented lighters because smoking
makes a person ugly, and they were tired of hearing the same
joke all the time:  smoker - "Hey, got a match?"  non-smoker -
"Yeah, your face and my butt."

<spyforthemoon> It's a bad sign when you walk into a room with
a high school senior girl talking about 'prom' and think
"what's she doing with Programable Read Only Memory?"

<smadge1> Guinness World Records was one site that did
consider exactly what they were hosting on the web, and made
necessary changes. The record for "Most Individuals Killed In
A Terrorist Attack" is 2823 people accord to one page on
Guinness' site. Guinness has a feature were you can apply to
"Break this record", and this option was placed on every page
that contained a record.

finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo
finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit
Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle
finacosa: awww now it's on
Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle,
bitchizzle
finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass
Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next
monizzile
finacosa: ?
Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle
finacosa: hahaizzle
Nerosan2k: lolizzle
finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people

<gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife
and a computer?
<gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy.

* Aryeh`AFK has quit IRC (Quit: [16:12] * ObnoxiousFrog
reminds Aryeh that a girl on a gaming clan IRC chan is about
as common as a unicorn that pisses gold and farts dreams)

<+t4D> man. i think its time to bring the coffee maker into
the bedroom
<+ScratXP> You may be moving too  fast
<+ScratXP> take it to a movie first

<supremo>hey, i heard somewhere that the size of the cock a
woman enjoys is related to the type of sex she likes most
<supremo>chicks who dig giving oral like big cocks, chicks who
like regular sex like medium cocks, and chicks who like anal
prefer small cocks
<tupperware>so your girlfriend must be into nasal, huh supremo
<supremo>shut up dipshit

(@WrmSlayer] wow
(@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of
dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
(+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
(@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds

BornDead: my dick says straight but it doesnt mean i love the
pussy!
BornDead: wait..
BornDead: no
BornDead: other way around
BornDead: OTHER WAY
G13LinK: . . .
G13LinK: I wish there were some tool to measure the amount of
respect I lose in you every time you say something...

<Jadd-Away> MONROE - An employee at the Wal-Mart store off
North Telegraph Road died in Mercy Memorial Hospital here
yesterday after he was found lying on the store s floor with
head trauma, Monroe County sheriff s deputies said.
<Jadd-Away> victim of falling prices?

<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because
people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't
shut the fuck up about being on atkins

<kats`awake> sometimes when i masturbate i look up at my hand
and say gg

<Cheshire> I can't afford those plastic things to cover the
electric sockets so I just draw bunny faces on the electric
outlets to scare the kids away from them...
<RLtim> Newsflash! Kids aren't afraid of bunnies.
<Cheshire> Oh they will be...

<RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only
fucking yourself
<Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were
paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires.

<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to
hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.

<Blake`> Buffalo wants to draw in the film industry.
<Blake`> What the fuck are they gonna film there?
<`Edwin`> Fargo, part 2?
<Blake`> "The Adventures of Nanook the Eskimo"?
<`Edwin`> Call of the Wild?
<Blake`> "Dude, Where's My Economy?"

<+commodore_dude> anyone wanna make me a magic 8-ball in java?
<+x24> ask again later

<BlaZe--> hwo do i produce logs?
<+zrv3tt3|> go to the bathroom

<PaNTs0r> people who cut themselves
<PaNTs0r> honest to god
<PaNTs0r> what is the point
<PaNTs0r> "oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M
DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"

<ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
<Gino> I don't even wanna know this one....
<ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!!
<Gino> Oh how rite i was