+SharpSchutze: Hard Drive Installed On: Thursday, January 1
1970
+SharpSchutze: That can't be good.

<pussyfart> jesus h. christ..
<mycheese> wtf does the h stand for
<pussyfart> ...
<pussyfart> henry

<@iretd> Problem with bash is: after reading it for like half
an hour, you go back to irc and you don't understand the jokes
ppl make, like "where's the punch line" and then you realize
there's no joke, it's just back to boring old IRC
<@dalias> actually i have that problem on bash
<@dalias> i read a quote and i'm like "where's the punch line?
"

poetica09: i need to think of more ways to make an ass of
myself
poetica09: it's fun stuff
poetica09: i was considering going somewhere next weekend
poetica09: and putting up a sign, like maybe outside of a
store
poetica09: and a tin can
poetica09: and the sign would say
poetica09: "donate to help a deaf blind man stay alive"
poetica09: and i could be sitting on a lawn chair
poetica09: reading a magazine and listening to my cd player
poetica09: and waving at people who walk by :-p

<Schwab> so I bought some mary jane last night
<Schwab> about a quarters worth
<Schwab> then I planted it in this jackass's car
<Schwab> then I called the cops
<Schwab> and now he's on parol violation
<Schwab> lesson in all of this....don't ever..EVER.. fucking
touch my food, especially with the intention of ruining it
while I'm eating

<RealaNightmaren> that fucker is linking to our files
<RealaNightmaren> AGAIN
<dosdemon> reala who hosts sonic cult
<RealaNightmaren> dos: a friend of mine
<Sushi-D> reala... you should make one of those scripts..
<dosdemon> ah
<RealaNightmaren> i used to have one
<RealaNightmaren> i replaced it with htaccess
<RealaNightmaren> which unfortunatly doesn't cover the
subdomains
<Sushi-D> that bites the bullet...
<Sushi-D> so....how are youe gonna correct this problem...
<RealaNightmaren> easy
<RealaNightmaren> I'll replace it with porn

<Kadon`> Can a dead girl have an orgasm?
<TheMoxy> God.. lol
<Anonymous> How long has she been dead?
<Kadon`> Uh, let me check.

Dublyner: I was up in Winnepeg and some guy on the street
asked me if I had two loonies for a toonie. I thought he was
going to rape me or something.

KajiTheGaurdian: Funny thing. There were these papers by kids
posted on the wall of the temple about why being Jewish is
good, and one kid wrote "I like being Jewish because it means
I'm special," but he wrote it as "spechul".
Dolorous Decay: He sounds pretty fucking spechul to me

mooseybaby4247: my acceptance would be like "I would like to
thank all the other nominees who lost so that i could win, my
family and friends, I love you all, and to everyone I worked
with, you were great but I was greater because I'm the one
with the award. Thank you."

* Lemming hands out glasses full of an unidentifiable liquid.
<Lemming> beba la sandwich!
<red_cactus> you blended a sammich?
<red_cactus> *blenderd
<red_cactus> *blendered
<red_cactus> *put a sammich in a blender

<birdhouseskater> my one goal in life besides a girlfriend is
getting in bash.org

Quension | in other news, I actually had a user read my away
message (which was "idle")
Quension | unfortunately, there was a problem
Quension | <crizza> ctc
Quension | <crizza> asl plsssss.
Quension | <crizza> wat's idle
Quension | <crizza> i cant umderstand

<Gandalf> at least you arent typical of most yanks here who
hear the word africa and automatically think we drive
elephants to work
<Dinxy> no you drive black people to work

<p0m> AGDN: My father's always calling me to explain the
toolbar on Word.
<p0m> Its rediculous.
<p0m> "Whats this button do?" "I Don't fucking know! CLIIIIICK
IT!"

<qreymer> fuck... i just scratched my laptops monitor... and
then i tried to use ctrl + z on it
<qreymer> i forgot it doesn't work on the outside ;(

<KB1JEC> anybody here give me a little help with VB?
<MikeJ> KB1JEC - does this look like a VB help channel?
<MikeJ> #C# is the VB help channel
<MikeJ> *duh*
<KB1JEC> ok im so awfully sorry
<KB1JEC> Unable to join #C# because a correct key is required
<MikeJ> ok
<MikeJ> then try #C++ they do it too
<KB1JEC> ok im in #c++, thanks
* KB1JEC has left #VisualBasic
<MikeJ> ...

<Guest34423> is Microsoft Access available in windows?
<Pinchiukas> no, it's for linux

<tah_twig> How do you know I'm NOT a hot, slutty girl?
<go_amd_go> because your here

ZacCichy: or why is it I can't find a chick
ZacCichy: younger than 15!?
ZacCichy: :-(
ZacCichy: OLDER I MEAN

<LZ> when I was like 8
<LZ> I was trying to make this fanfic
<LZ> where Mario met his twin sister Maria
<Elmoogle> And they sexx0red?
<LZ> I was 8 ;_;
<LZ> Yes
<LZ> They did

<javachickn> O FUCK MY FOOT IS ASLEEP
<javachickn> WHAT DO I DO
<javachickn> HURRY
<Steve> wake it up with fire
<Steve> the really hot kind.

* Arathia serepticously kicks Aytin in the shin
<Arathia> (horribly mispelled)
<Aytin> no, shin is right

<+IronKite> When will I learn to stop frying bacon in the
nude?
<@jaymeekae> shortly after an embarrassing trip to the ER?
<+IronKite> good point.

--- Received a CTCP FINGER from Tru7h
<scythe> stop fingering me, Tru7h
<Tru7h> im just testing it out
<Tru7h> I have never fingered anyone before
<Tru7h> ...
<Tru7h> oh god
<Tru7h> that so didn't
<Tru7h> sound right
<scythe> excuse me while i quote that

<Monga> Any of you guys ever get stuck in your chair?
<Marjerin> No
<DeeDee> No
<UppeRkilL> No
<Monga> Yeah, uh, me neither.

(+^Bunny) without the sex
(@Squiggle) the sex doesnt matter
(+^Bunny) like prison mates :)
(+^Bunny) lol j/k
(@Squiggle) I would SO much rather have someone hold me and
play with my hair and snuggle me while I sleep than have sex.
(@Squiggle) sex is irrelevant to me most times.
(+^Bunny) i think a lot of women would ;)
(@Squiggle) Besides, my washing machine has a great spin
cycle.

(Nero6) I like how you have to be 18 to enter a porno site,
but the "you must be 18 to enter" page is covered with nothing
but nude women

<Fox_Alan> when you have to resort to using pickup lines from
bash.org things are bad :)
<Borlath_Mon> Yeah, but nobody I know over here READS bash.org
- I read a bit before I go out, and I'm the life of the party.
Telling jokes, making fun of things...
<Borlath_Mon> Of course, I -did- get into a bit of trouble
when I went to the Black Pride thing.
<Borlath_Mon> That antique farm equipment joke didn't go down
too well.

<Penguin> All I did was try to brighten up their days, with
racial hate propaganda.
<cow|a> ahhaah
<cow|a> as you should.
<Penguin> And what do they do in return? Ban me!

(lara`) i wanna die
(lara`) just like jesus christ
(Ic3zero) whats stopping u
(Ic3zero) ppl cant carry u up the hill?

<Tenkz> GG and Riot sitting in a tree
<Tenkz> virtually undressing...ly.
<MrPants> first comes asl
<Tenkz> then comes cyber
<Girl_Gamer_152> then comes meet in real life and IT'S A 60YO
TRANSFESTITE!

* MoonKatz munches some girl scout cookies.
<MoonKatz> for some reason, these aren't all that great. Maybe
it's because I had shortbread recently.
<Da5id> could be that they didn't use fresh girlscouts this
year too
<MoonKatz> true. I got them from a different troop, so that
must be it.

<chobits41> You know that big mall in Edmonton has three fully
working submarines.
<chobits41> the Canadain Navy has two.
<@Airs> lol
<chobits41> So if war ever broke out in that mall ... they'd
never make it past the Gap.

* Zed used to teach idiots how to 'hack' in Diablo.
<Zed> I mean, I'd give them an axe, then lead them to the
dungeon.
<Zed> Tell them to hit a skeleton.
<Zed> They didn't appreciate that :p

<foo> Damn, more spam invading my inbox
<Aviator> Nooooobody expects the Spammer's Imposition!
<Aviator> Our two weapons are offshore servers and feeble
laws. Feeble laws and offshore servers.
<Aviator> And fake headers. Our THREE weapons are offshore
servers, feeble laws and fake headers.
<Aviator> And gulliable horny lamers. Our FOUR weapons are...
I'll come in again.
-!- Aviator [dsm@mimas] has quit [Come, Cardinal
Bigglesworth!]
-!- Aviator [dsm@mimas] has joined #chat
<foo> Riiiiiight...
* Aviator tortures foo with the comfy V14Gr/ and the soft Debt
Consolidation

<Ancalagon> We have here a message from the National Pancake
Institute: Fuck Waffles

<|TripleH|> so.. where are all the bitches who wanna make me
somethin to eat.=P
<epoch--> |TripleH|: they are having a meeting with all the
bitches that want to sleep with you
<Elmyra> so far, the room is empty..
<lenoreo> all those folded chairs for nothing...
<Elmyra> but we're still hopeful that SOMEONE will show up. ..
<epoch--> or SOMETHING

tobby14 (~java@1046E976.C3C0D218.2D1B8E7.IP) has joined #Lobby
<tobby14> whats up you all mudafuckers
<@Dante> i think you're on the wrong server
<@Dante> you want irc.whitetrash.wigger.net

<Jaz> You're catholic, right jay?
<@Jaayy> you and me both.
<Jaz> What are you giving up for lent?
<@Jaayy> Catholocism.
<Jaz> how ironic.

<Serafijn> what's that film with the ship and the ghosts?
<Nightchill> Ghostship?
<Serafijn> oh yeah

<Bmann> its supposed to be 60 tomorrow?
<brendando> its nice out here
<brendando> Not that I have been outside in 2 days
<brendando> But I'm near a window

Seijurro1234: IM NOT ON AOL .. IM ON AMERICA ONLINE
Seijurro1234: RETARD

* MogKnight fires suicide bombers at acpo
<MogKnight> FOR ALLAH.
<Cassie> don't mock allah :(
<Cassie> he is my god
<rikku> SO YOUR ARBIAN!!!!
<Cassie> yes, i'm from Arbia

<the_stick> I finally managed to get rid of Linux
<the_stick> Unfortunately I got rid of windows and all my data
in the process
<the_stick> guess it didnt want to go down without a fight

* Lembas found an awesome headline in today's paper.
<Lembas> Violence in Israel.
* Bonzai fails to see the awesomeness, that's like "Snow in
Siberia"
<Bruce_MacCulloch> or "Idiots in Washington"

<!fis> finally my nickalert works =D
<!fis> FUCK
<!fis> i think my screen just burnt through
<!fis> i can type
<!fis> but i don't see anything
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!fis> stop that
<!Purge> actually.. i just tried to morse you something =/

<amped> f7 then :D
<Pockets> lol
<Pockets> yup
<amped> heh
<Pockets> bye bye cruiser :P
<amped> a3?
<Pockets> miss
<Pockets> i3
<VanJeans> there's something very sad about IRC battleships :/
<Pockets> yeah ur in the middle of it biartch! :D
<amped> miss, a4
<Pockets> sunk :/
<amped> woo!
<VanJeans> ...sad ... very sad

Dracula: Roses are red
Dracula: Violets are blue
Dracula: this line doesn't rhyme
Dracula: and neither does this one

<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money
from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she
says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only
owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.