<Neo> so you know those peta campaigns, "I'd rather go naked
than wear fur"?
<Neo> it's a pretty horrible idea when you think about it
<Neo> "stop eating animals or we'll keep showing you pics of
hot chicks all naked like"
<Neo> yeah, brillant plan there guys

linkraceist: my printer is being rather communist atm
necrokiss: lol, how so?
linkraceist: in theory, there is nothing wrong with it
linkraceist: but when i try to use it, everything goes wrong

lizbunny11: actually, i respect microsoft developers
lizbunny11: it's hard to have your head up your ass and your
nose in the air at the same time

killjay: Most embarassing internet moment?
killjay: Unknowingly cyber with a dude?
lemonlimeskull: Nope.
killjay: Knowingly cyber with a dude?
lemonlimeskull: Not as such.
lemonlimeskull: Though when I was a kid, I did try to run an
ASCII image of a naked chick through a text-to-speech program,
set to female voice.
lemonlimeskull: When she got to "colon colon colon period
colon colon colon period period" the moment was gone.

Mafafa: IF EVERYONE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF WOULD YOU DO IT TOO?
Ironikx: If everyone jumped off a cliff, I'd go to the bottom
and steal whatever was in their pockets.

<echeese> Women are shitty programmers because they are
emotional and irrational.
<echeese> Man: My program won't work, I must have written it
incorrectly.
<echeese> Woman: My program won't work, the computer must hate
me. Let's go shopping.

[Oni] FUCK!
[Oni] I'm just about out of black ink
[Krypton] printer?
[Oni] No, the type I disperse to run from predators.

SeanieG123: So the other day i was hangin out with some
friends and i told them about this dream i had.
SeanieG123: It was a weird dream, and they all agreed and told
me there was something wrong with me.
SeanieG123: Anyway, so then my black friend, brandyn, looks at
me funny.
SeanieG123: So jokingly, I say to him, "what's wrong? don't
you dream when you sleep?"
SeanieG123: He looks at me dead in the eye and says, "hell
naw! last nigga who had a dream got shot!"

<RST38h> When I bought 14.4kbd modem, TELNET and FTP became so
lightning fast...
<jaem> what sort of lightning do you have where you live,
then?
<lcuk> the sort that used to buffer before striking

<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes
and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less
line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is
setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck>  a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a
tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal
snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well  i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal
snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because
they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are
darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and
shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an
eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone
this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin)
"going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the
checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though

thompson: The best engine in the world is the vagina, it takes
any size piston, its self lubricating, starts with 1 finger,
and every 4 weeks does its own oil change. It's just a pity
the management system is so fucking temperamental.

<Richard> are muslim clerics sort of like... the pundits and
talk radio hosts of Arabia?
<Richard> I think this may be the case
<Richard> they are like Rush Limbaugh with beards

<+FHC_> why is it guns are legal in america but a school
shooter will miss most of his targets, but guns illegal in
germany and the fuckers hit everything they aim at
<@Sauce> american kids know how to strafe

<Stormscape> If computers get too powerful, we can organize
them into a committee -- that will do them in.

<msngchmbl> OH MY GOD
<piardog> ?
<msngchmbl> I JUST DROPPED MY XANAX INTO MY BAG OF LUCKY
CHARMS
<msngchmbl> FUCK
<msngchmbl> IT'S THE SAME COLOR AS THE FUCKING SHOOTING STARS
<piardog> it will be even more magically delicious now

<&Sir_Jesus> torrents are made of communism
<&Sir_Jesus> from each according to his upload speed, to each
according to his download speed

<Lawlet> Blade
<Lawlet> Take +c off
<@Blade_Serpent> What are you going to DO if I take it off
<Lawlet> Wait until no one's looking, then subject your eyes
to the text equivelant of a old man vomiting lucky charms &
crayola everywhere, BLade.
<T> That script should need two keys at opposite ends of the
room and Congressional authorization.

<LivingScarecrow> you want to emulate a chatroom irl? go to a
highschool chess club and pass out guns and meth

<+Lekon> Oddly enough in fable 2 I AM queerbait somehow
<+Lekon> All the gay guys in bowerstone are trying to marry my
guy
<+HereticMachine> Sent.
<+Lekon> Its a Halo above my head, not a steering wheel for my
mouth bastards.

<PacMan85> fresh fl strawberries
<jedrek> strawberries aren't in season here yet
<PacMan85> well that sucks
<jedrek> not really
<jedrek> i prefer waiting a bit to living in america's hospice

<@jamesG> You know those naruto headbands some people actually
wear?
<@jamesG> I remember someone refering to them as "Pussy
Deflectors"
<@jamesG> I laughed until I saw a female wearing one...

<Alucard> is the reason r2-d2 beeps so much because someone
fucked up the alsa drivers?

Nyoronyoden says:so yeah...I bought a fairly expensive class
ring
Nyoronyoden says:but I realized I hate wearing rings
Nyoronyoden says:so I wear it on my necklace
Nyoronyoden says:...a friend of mine said "Dude, you're
fucking gangster. Even your jewelry is wearing jewelry"

<Dr_Memory> I think there's a real argument to be made here
that using RAID for home data storage is putting effort into
the wrong end of the problem.
<Dr_Memory> when you can buy 2TB disks off the shelf, it's
probably substantially simpler to just buy two of them, set up
a good backup system, and reap the day-to-day simplicity
benefits of one controller -> one disk -> one filesystem.
<Dr_Memory> or to put it another way: your kitten photos do
not need the same high-availabity system infrastructure as
Citibank's transaction databases :)
<topaz> I CAN HAS FIEV NIENS?

<Rav|Work> anyone want to write up a throttling FAQ for my
company.. 
<Whisper> "Take your hands and put them either side of the
bitch's throat.  Shake like hell."
<Lummy> Whisper wins.
<Gatzby> agreed.
<Rav|Work> lol

<RAD_ED> ...
<RAD_ED> their making a REAL obama coin
<RAD_ED> it looks retarded
<Shark500> is it made of chocolate?
<RAD_ED> lol

xou: What's MMA?
syL: Mixed martial arts...basically grown men dryhumping in
missonary position

<jax> I think the thing I've been most ashamed of doing with
my penis
<jax> was trying to see if I could register it as a
fingerprint on my laptops fingerprint scanner
<jax> JUST so I could login with a penis print
<jax> it didn't work :(

<nframe> havent been to work in forever :p
<nframe> hope I remember how it goes around here.
<aaronitis> just like riding a bike, man
<trilliongrams> ^ bring your kneepads.  It will hurt a lot
less.

Helrich: so i was at the diner this morning, and i was really
hungry.
Helrich: i got a big plate of scrambled eggs and started
eating them super fast
Helrich: when i stopped to breathe, half the plate was gone
and i shouted DOMINATING!!!
Helrich: everyone in the diner stopped what they were doing
and stared at me for along time until someone from across the
room shouted HUMILIATION!!!
Helrich: I gotta stop playing Quake.

<Garou>  ok, I need hot sandwich ideas
<Garou>  I got Ruben/Buffalo Chicken Burger/Meatball
<West>  chicken ranch
<Rail>  philly cheesesteak
<Garou>  hrm philly cheesesteak
<Garou>  good one, I'll put that one down
<Shinji>  Garou: Larry King, Oprah, John Goodman.
<Garou>  Those are Sandwichs?
<Shinji>  No, it's a sandwich.
<Shinji>  And boy, is it a hot one.
<Garou>  facepalm.

Enetheru: Freud... he'd have a ball with that.
Enetheru: Man, I wish he was still alive.
Enetheru: "Hey Freud, I want to introduce you to 4chan."
Enetheru: "Say Hi, 4chan."
Fizzkittens: Argh!
Enetheru: Freud wouldn't be able to do enough coke to keep up.

<@Xenon> You know what the best feeling in the world is?
<@Xenon> It is when you have a headache, and you take pills,
and you can feel the pain becoming less and less every couple
of minutes
<@Xenon> It's so satisfying
<@malevolence> you've clearly never been laid

PROTOtype2k6: Hey Fel you know the difference between Michael
phelps and Hitler?
Felathan: no clue proto.
PROTOtype2k6: At least Michael Phelps could finish a race.

%^tiNee^ takes aubz credit card and slides it between aubz's
butt cheeks
[%^tiNee^] *denied*
[&goat] what do you mean denied
[&goat] aubz' ass takes everything

chupathingy: When in Rome, nail a deity to a piece of wood

<johno> yeh not alot just finished cleaning and doin laundry.
<jess> hahaha ok
<johno> yuh
<johno> theres no women around for me to yell at them to do it
so i have to be the last resort
<johno> i yell at myself to do it
<johno> hit myself around the room
<johno> then start sobbing as i mop the floor with my bloodied
hair
<jess> wtf seriously who the fuck are you
<jess> thats fucked up who says that shit
<johno> yeah good point the blood WOULD make the floor worse.
<johno> thanks.
quit: johno (teaching that bitch how to clean properly)

jessejames: i love pooping
jessejames: it is so relaxing
CutiePieNerd: your so strange
jessejames: no like all guys like pooping
CutiePieNerd: haha
jessejames: it like theonly time we can relax without being
nagged by the women
jessejames: cuz they are all afraid of poop

<Hitchhiker> Gotta catch 'em all!
<ManInBlack> STDs!
<marik7772003> gonorrhea, i choose you
<ManInBlack> GO GET 'EM, HIV!
<Hitchhiker> Herpes, fire attack!
<ManInBlack> HIV IS EVOLVING
<ManInBlack> CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR HIV HAS BECOME AIDS!

<Ndi> i have a local lan at work
<Ndi> and it has a nat
<Ndi> and it nats to the net
<Ndi> and the net is at home
<Ndi> and I have a vpm that vpns over the net to the lan at
work which is natted
<Ndi> and I have a VM here that has the ability to NAT into my
real home lan
<Ndi> that can be output to the net
<Ndi> so I defined the NAT there
<Ndi> so then I have access to work
<Ndi> so the packet, you see, from 192.168.88.3 to
192.168.3.22 is output, and then gets routed to 192.168.88.2,
then 88.1, then my IP, then to my gateway, then net, then the
work gateway then to the VPN device, then to the local
gateway, then to the target pc.
<Ndi> i wonder if I can get tech support for this.

Dun fck wit meh: when muslim women come to my door i talk to
them through the mail slot, see how they like it

ipatchphd: i knew someone named april may
IUErothyme: hahahahahaha
ipatchphd: and when her mom was angry shed say
ipatchphd: YOU BETTER MARCH APRIL MAY

<kaber> My buddy just got a divorce. they had 4 kids. she met
some new guy and she thinks she'll have it better with him
<kaber> so the women leave thinking it's greener on the other
side and what not.. and they usually end up getting shafted
even more
<tomalak> kaber: I think that's the point.

<LifeIsGood2u> I got the worst fortune after having a condom
break
<Incubor> what
<LifeISGood2u> "Even the smallest leak can sink a ship"
<Incubor> Damn Asian Cookies

<Spiff-Johnson> So i bought a shirt from express men.. does
that make me gay?
<cool4dude> no, the fact that you have sex with men makes you
gay
<cool4dude> the shirt just makes you a stereotype

<Kuros> So this guy was selling Final Fantasy 7 on craigslist
for $500
<Sniper_Wolf> hahahaha wow
<Kuros> yeah
<Kuros> so i just made another ad there with that dudes number
<Kuros> selling the game for $20

mrspeak3r: i vnc'd from my work box to my home box
mrspeak3r: then remote-desktop'd from my home box to my work
box.
mrspeak3r: It was like my desktop was the front man in an 80s
music video.
mrspeak3r: ...
mrspeak3r: except it was a video that lasted 10 seconds and
crashed 2 computers.

[Seth] Ow. That fucking hurt. >:|. There was this giant
snowball, like the size of a football. And it was set
perfectly like a football to be kicked.
[Seth] So being the genius I am, I kicked it. The thing was
fucking solid ice with some snow on the outside. >:\
[NooGe] Reminds me of charlie brown.

< billn> so pizza hut has that field in the online order form,
for special instructions?
< billn> I put 'driver must beat box.'
< billn> turns out, he could.

<lulzngigulz> there was this kid i met
<lulzngigulz> and apparently he likes me a lot, but luckily,
he lives far away
<lulzngigulz> how do i tell him to move on?
<WTFchristianOMG> ok, here's what you do
<WTFchristianOMG> pretend you have a bf
<WTFchristianOMG> that's the gentle way to do it
<WTFchristianOMG> "Yeah, you can meet John!  He's so awesome!"
<WTFchristianOMG> or, alternatively, talk about how hot other
guys are
<WTFchristianOMG> that happened to me, it took me two days to
figure out i was being told to take a hike
<lulzngigulz> hey christian
<lulzngigulz> i think we should hang out
<lulzngigulz> you can meet andrew, he's so cool
<lulzngigulz> but first i want to tell you about luke, he's so
hot