<joshkr>  Who is this General Error, and why's he scanning my
hard drive?
<de0n>    He's the boss of Major Malfunction
<bismuth> Looking for Private Pictures

darshanji143: hey wanna chat sex?
flyinghermione: my mommy says I can't have cybersex with
strangers

<HC-Marine> yeah one time this windows & doors company called
<HC-Marine> and my dad answered it
<HC-Marine> they asked if he wanted to have his windows and
doors replaced
<HC-Marine> he responded with "I don't have any"
<HC-Marine> they were so confused

<Dejos> I was killed by a rabit in D&D once
<Wiser> lol
<Dejos> stupid DM
<recursive> did it have big sharp pointy teeth?
<recursive> \/\/\/\/\/
<Dejos> no! it didnt have squat.. I tripped over it and fell
off a cliff

Gangster Style*** says:
np np what are friends for
§teve says:
casual sex and borrowing money?

<s3b`> Vegetto: /join #someonewhocares
<s3b`> Oh, look, the channel is empty

<Unspawny> The ultimate game would be a game sorta like The
Sims.
<Unspawny> Except it would be called 'Angst'.
<Unspawny> And you would see how many angsty people you can
befriend, screw over, and then befriend again.
<frog> you just described Livejournal: The Game

Shosh912: when tthy say you can miss 6 classes
Shosh912: does that mean you can miss 6 classes
Shosh912: or 5
Qtip: 6
Shosh912: oh

Tamer Brad: i got this cross necklace today
NoVwith a Bullet: ha ha ha, everyone's gonna think you just
love jesus
Tamer Brad: no, i hate him
Tamer Brad: that's why I carry it with me
Tamer Brad: so if I ever see him, I can nail him to it

<SomeGuy> God: "Hello Osama?"
<SomeGuy> Osama: "Yes God"
<SomeGuy> God: "Osama.. did you hear about the tsunami?"
<SomeGuy> Oasama: "Yes"
<SomeGuy> God "Beat that you prick.."

<Seikun> My friend (mike) bought a sword and bb guns in the
states. he tried to bring them over to canada. and they said
"the bb guns are a replica of the real ones. so you can't
bring them in." "but you can take the sword, because thats not
really considered a weapon"

<TLF> smoke
<TLF> im calling u out hustlah
<TLF> bring it
<MegaSmokeX> Why, bitch?
<TLF> first person to hack the other person wins
<MegaSmokeX> k
<TLF> lets see your 1337 skillz bitch hahaha
*** Signoff: TLF (Connection reset by peer)
<Ginnsu> Goddamn O_O
<Saunders> pnwed.
<MegaSmokeX> I think thats the luckiest Ive ever been in my
life...

<CardiacVio> Dude, are you skipping homeschool again?
<Metatag> Yep, I'm in the computer lab at the high school.

<TheWizrd> i wrote my paper ... its 2 pages ..... min length =
5 pages
<TheWizrd> wtf ?
<nerdcore> add 3 pages of "um" and "er"
<nerdcore> "And so we, um, see that, um, um, Shakespeare was
trying to, er, say that, um..."
<nerdcore> "And then that one guy--what's-his-name--picked up
the, oh yeah! It was Laertes! He picked up the, um, that thing
that you use when you want to stab somebody--a sword! Yeah.
That's it."
<nerdcore> easy +3 pages.

<nJess> God that stings like a motherfuck
<nJess> I just picked up my airsoft
*** Kederaji has joined channel #C&T
<nJess> And it discharged, into my face.
<nJess> At a range of about a foot and a half.
<Kederaji> O_o
<Kederaji> I always walk in at bad times.

Zipalooie: i'd rather walk home from boston on train tracks
drunk
Zipalooie: and blindfolded
Zipalooie: with headphones on blasting slayer at full volume
Zipalooie: than get in a car with your sister again

EvilEye:i just found out that i have competition for student
government president
EvilEye:hes blind
EvilEye:so heres my campaign slogan: "I have a vision"

<Matt> Hey, I just realized...
<HazeMan> What?
<Matt> While encountered together in captivity, in the wild,
the stapler and the staple remover are natural enemies.
<HazeMan> O_o

<+digital-lemon> im gonna invent a tv that blocks out
commercials and put dancing stick figures with smilie faces on
instead
<@TreeClock> LOL
<+digital-lemon> ill call it STV
<+digital-lemon> pronounced stevie
<+digital-lemon> stick telivision
<+digital-lemon> i'll be filthy rich

<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the
way to the party to get some beer
<acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and
there's a parking guy writing a ticket
<acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's
for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no
standing zone
<acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up
his ass, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
<Nuzzler> haha
<acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he
says something the guy writes another ticket
<acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
<dendyh0> ...
<acidwar> and we both PISS ourselves laughing as we walk back
to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor bastard
with 14 parking fines :D
<dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Nuzzler> ROFL!!

* Kederaji is now officially offended by the Red Cross.
<FraX> How much blood did they want today?
<Kederaji> Well, you know that questionnaire they ask you
before they poke you with the needle?
<FraX> Yeah.
<Kederaji> Well, the guy took a look at me and started marking
all the sex related questions as "No".
<Kederaji> Didn't even bother to ask me, just marked them
"No."
<Kederaji> The bastard.
<FraX> Was he right?
<Kederaji> He was, but that's not the point!

<Ashryd> Prepare for the new revolution in freeing space on
your hard drive, waste no more
time on searching through old files to delete, simply leave it
up to DaveBot!
<Methuen> New program aye?
<Ashryd> Doesn't work quite right yet though...
<Ashryd> Does something a little more interesting at the
moment...
<Methuen> Oh?
<Ashryd> It spends 12 hours searching through your folders and
files finding and sorting
them into things that must be deleted, could be deleted and
mustn't be deleted, compiles the
information into a database, deems the database an item that
must be deleted then erases
your whole hard drive.
<Methuen> o.O

<Varrus> sloppy seconds  :(
<pushplay> sloppy seconds
<pushplay> jinx
<Varrus> you cant jinx, you got pwned
<Varrus> :D
* pushplay punches Varrus in the penis
<SandCannon> youd have to kick his girlfriend in the purse for
him to feel it.

chaseaskew9642: I'm going to get a restaurant to compete with
crackerbarrell and I will call it niggerbucket.

<[omni]> wtf... it took you like 15 seconds to show us a
picture of your hymen, but I have to wait hours to see a
pictures of the pussy I'm actually interested in?

WormyWyrm: I don't think half as many people would pirate
games and movies
WormyWyrm: if they didn't give it such a cool name
thelandofsiam: Yea, nobody would do it if it was called
Illicit Data Transmition
WormyWyrm: exactly
WormyWyrm: noone would talk about it at all, too hard to spell
thelandofsiam: ARRR IM A SOFTWARE PIRATE
WormyWyrm: Gimmie yer booty and new versions of half life
thelandofsiam: Yarrr
WormyWyrm: YAR!
thelandofsiam: I must restart my ship
thelandofsiam: brb

<Enjoi> I broke up with my girlfriend because she didn't know
what 'modest' meant, so I know how you feel.
<Raven> modest? fuck modesty lol.
<Enjoi> No, she actually didn't know the meaning of the word
:P

<lokk> GM posts 1.9bil loss
<lokk> ouch!
<Booster> they should have saved money switching to geico

<dice> You're in Sydney?
<Scott> ahhh yea
<dice> Cool!
<dice> Whatcha doing there?
<Scott> grandmothers
<dice> Really? You stud! How many?

<jsCLASS> lets talk about my johnson
<Mercster> small talk, eh?
<jsCLASS> fuck
<jsCLASS> owned

(Twisted) you can get 7,200Rpm and decent graphics on Laptops
(@randomPaul) yes with free crotch burn and the associated
infertility
(Twisted) Too true
(@randomPaul) I don't see the damn point
! Twisted is glad his laptop is a) Broken b) Sucks
(@randomPaul) if I need to remember something on the move, or
do some work on a train.... I use a pen and paper :P
(moredread) hey is that true? I know ppl that would pay good
money for crotch burn
(@randomPaul) no infertility there ;)
(@randomPaul) "too skint for condoms? just buy a laptop - with
an intel P4 prescott processor!"
(@randomPaul) "the intel P4 prescott, with centrino technology
- so you can talk crap on alt.comp.laptop.infertility!"
(@RinSewand) hmm
(Twisted) Newsgroups for teh win!
(moredread) new definition for roast nuts

miLKm4n2kj: there's a police scanner in my room at work
miLKm4n2kj: it's fun to listen to
miLKm4n2kj: it would be more fun if i could memorize this
police code
IcEmanhAxx0r: lol
IcEmanhAxx0r: look at this one
IcEmanhAxx0r: 11-25X Female motorist needs assistance
miLKm4n2kj: that seems rather specific doesn't it?
miLKm4n2kj: 11-25Y = male?
IcEmanhAxx0r: it doesn't have it
miLKm4n2kj: of course
miLKm4n2kj: male motorists don't need assistance

<duncan> i should get oli to come here.
<duncan> and we should make him get alcohol poisoning.
<n3wt> Or poison poisoning
<duncan> YES

X Garxx X: i found a bag of little black balls in  my cabinet
X Garxx X: and i was like cool chocolate balls
X Garxx X: so i started eating them
X Garxx X: and i was lik WHOAH THESE FRICKIN RULE ASS
X Garxx X: I BET THEYD BE GREAT WITH MILK
X Garxx X: ...thats when i realized i was eating coco puffs.

<Zoiks> its my birthday in two weeks   :D
<Zoiks> I'mma throw a big party and invite all my friends
<Zoiks> shit dude, I need to start making plans
<+madhtr003> and friends

<7ruth> Oh my god! I'll be right back, parents are making me
barbeque.
<Sentral1>Im pretty sure that was a literal version of
'omgbrbbbq'
<Xthirteen>yep

ChronikG: Dude, I'm going to hell. I was typing in a porn site
and was about to hit enter when all of a sudden "Jesus Walks"
comes on the radio.
TragicEnd: did you still go to the site?
ChronikG: Yea, I figured Jesus just wanted to chill and watch
porn with me.

<infoe> silmaril: what about jesus on the cross
<infoe> and he calls to peter
<infoe> and peter tries to approach
<infoe> and the roman guards prevent him with violence
<infoe> they blacken his eye
<infoe> and scuff him up pretty good
<infoe> and jesus calls him again
<infoe> <jesus> peter.
<infoe> and peter cries "i'm coming lord" and throws himself
at the guards
<infoe> who beat him roughly and break his arm
<infoe> at which point he whimpers off
<infoe> again jesus calls to peter <jesus> peter...
<infoe> peter yells to christ "i am coming!" and he throws
himself at the guards again
<infoe> putting up a vicious struggle but not laying a hand of
violence on the guards
<infoe> finally they concent to let him pass
<infoe> and peter .. his broken arm.. badly bruised and
slashed makes it before jesus and kneels and says "i am here
father what is it that you want of me?"
<infoe> <jesus> peter, i can see your house from here

Mike: give me a good hosting company tag line
Bleys: "We won't go down on you... unless you pay us extra."
Mike: thanks for your help :P
Bleys: no problem ;)

* xargs should not drive a bike
<xargs> because...
<xargs>               o       _      _          _
<xargs>      _o      /_    _ \o   (_)__/o   (_)
<xargs>    _< _    _>(_)  (_)/<_     _|     _|/' /
<xargs>   (_)>(_)  (_)         (_)    (_)     (_)'  _o_
<xargs> =(

rydia 917: I have an insanity test
rydia 917: 1. Do you speak French? Yes No
Daniel: Yes
rydia 917: Yup, you're insane. Only insane people speak
French.

<RobbiePaul> I'm going to work on an econ paper which states
that walmart has hurt america, but not the way most people
think
<RobbiePaul> i say by keeping prices low, people that
shouldn't survive are able to

<Kupo> man
<Kupo> Firefox can fuck itself
<DarknessTear> It can? So THAT's what the Firefox logo is
doing.

tj: tho there is this other girl who is like STUNNING i
mean... kinda like a blonde cross between avril lavigne and
melissa joan hart
@mojo: jesus fucking christ.
@mojo: what is her special power? killing erections?

<@Blaxthos> five, i know of no police department that has a
year long academy
<@Blaxthos> i call bullshit
<dk|laptop> obviously you haven't watched police academy

<Onizuka> ^captain_planet
* UB3R-B0T is now known as Kwame
<Kwame> EARTH
* Kwame is now known as Wheeler
<Wheeler> FIRE
* Wheeler is now known as Linka
<Linka> WIND
* Linka is now known as Gi
<Gi> WATER
* Gi was kicked by Xeiliex (Xeiliex)
* Gi has joined #jasio
* Gi is now known as Ma-ti
<Ma-ti> HEART
* Ma-ti is now known as Everyone
<Everyone> GO PLANET
* Everyone is now known as anonymous
<anonymous> BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED...
* anonymous is now known as Captain_Planet
<Captain_Planet> I AM CAPTAIN PLANET
<Moiph> YAAAAAY
<Xeiliex> Moiph, NEVER AGAIN

<possessed27> i <3 philosophy
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf does that mean
<possessed27> rotate it 90 degrees, you foo
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> i "ball sac" philosophy?

<Nalah> My mother marks the English national exams.  She was
marking one creative writing paper today, and she got to the
bottom of the page of one that read "the doctor knelt down
beside her and raped her" - she turned the page and it
finished "leg in a bandage".  Hehe.

<robotobon> i am a bastard operator from hell
<robotobon> i used to sneek into the server room and unplug
ethernet at random and run
<robotobon> then 5 minutes later i'd get a call at my desk
<robotobon> and i'd fix it really fast and be a hero

<Animix> WHO THE HELL HAS 18 CHILDREN
<Animix> 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, IT'S A VAGINA, NOT A
CLOWN CAR'