<Goldmoon> its amazing what you can get with batting your
eyelashes and showing your tits.. lol
<n0nthing> raped?

guardian_elma: my son just said to me, "you don't even know
the basics of cool"

<AnonymousPosterChild> oh god
<AnonymousPosterChild> I just messaged a chick on okcupid
saying how I thought she was kinda hot AND SHES 13
<AnonymousPosterChild> oh god
<AnonymousPosterChild> Shes 13 AND she thinks shes a lesbian
<AnonymousPosterChild> this is the least appropriate erection
EVER

<Boxthor> They call me Hadoken 'cause I'm down-right fierce.

LiQuIDsCyThE1: Like the Mallard Duck and Peacock, the wigger
male will go to great lengths to secure a mate. This young
wigger, for instance, has donned a vibrant all pink outfit to
ensure success during the mating season. In this case, the
flamboyant color scheme serves the dual purpose of both
helping him get noticed by females in heat and distracting
other males who will be too busy beating his ass to steal any
of his mates. A borderline suicidal strategy, but successful
nonetheless.
ElPikachupacabra: who the hell are you, and what the hell was
that

<yoozer> the speed of sound is defined by the distance from
door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close
the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts
"OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

<Metalcore> works now, though
<Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet
<Metalcore> fast as hell
<Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke
bottle
<Metalcore> in hurricane force winds
<Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope
<Metalcore> of teflon

<@MacG> people take their dogs car shopping?
< Feenyx> they make cars for dogs now?
<@MacG> sure. there are plenty of bitches on the roads :D
< Feenyx> touché

<s7|eelektrix> want to scrim with us?
<s7|eelektrix> Vin Diesel challenged everyone in the
sub-continent of India to an arm-wrestling match. After
humiliating that nation's finest arm wrestling warriors, an
Indian holy man placed a curse on Vin Diesel, which is why he
doesn't have a single hair on his body. But when Vin Diesel
saved India from a tsunami by delivering a stand-up routine so
hilarious the tsunami shook apart with laughter, the holy man
rewarded Vin with the secret of morphing into an alpaca, and
the secret of cooking the perfect terducken. It is from Vin
Diesel's personal kitchen that John Madden purchases his
annual terducken.
<s7|eelektrix> oops
<s7|eelektrix> dont mind that

benjiwenji07: this one time i saw a 40 foot tall wrench
benjiwenji07: and that was the biggest tool id ever seen until
i met john genz
blahdy78: thats weird because this one time i saw this 40 foot
tall wench
blahdy78: and that was the biggest whore i ever saw till i met
your mom

<LUEshi> What's the default font of the GameFAQs forums?
<Sexy_Truck> Braille.
<LUEshi> ...

<mattb> funeral was for my uncle
<[OmegentooX]> Did he die?
<mattb> that seems to be the popular opinion

<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental
institute
<Rjx> or on TV

<Beaph> Whatcha gonna make?
<Alacard2k> Spaghetti, beef stroganoff, or tacos. I don\'t
feel like the chicken tonight.
<Beaph> Mmm... Beef Strokin\' off.
<Alacard2k> well it\'s down to two now

onslaught86: Your spelling's so bad your blood must be type-o.

<remial> gah...
<remial> I was visiting my college roommate earlier today...
<remial> his ex-GF and his daughter were there...
<remial> they were in the other room watching cartoons or
something...
<remial> and my friend asked me how my life was going, and I
told him that things wre OK but it felt like there was some
sort of consperacy to keep me from getting laid...
<remial> his ex GF immediatly calls someone on her Cel phone
and says "He knows"

hbkshowstopper75: For only 15 grand, we could have our own
music veriety show. it could be revolutionary televison even
it its on at 2am
hbkshowstopper75: i was just pondering the idea today
ianepson: need 15k first
ianepson: and if we saved that much up i can think of much
better uses
hbkshowstopper75: it\'s only one thousand 500 dollars
ianepson: uh
ianepson: yea u could buy urself a calculator with whats left
over

Cooler1011: can you explain to me why i need to format and/or
partition this disc?
Cooler1011: It does not make sense to me.
mrrc00: imagine a giant room
mrrc00: now, throw millions upon millions of identical things
into the room
mrrc00: now these things can be used to make larger things,
but only if they have some order to them
mrrc00: a filesystem, which you create by formatting, orders
those bits
Cooler1011: yo, get a job
Cooler1011: you're qualified
Cooler1011: that really sounds like it came right out of PC
Magazine
mrrc00: oh, I'm not surprised
mrrc00: I was pulling it out my ass, after all

<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today...
YAG-108
<mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked
like BOI-GAY
<mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard :
/

<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor
<Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT

[dark-force] how long is a second?
[[RAA]Ajarn] rofl
[dark-force] ?
[[RAA]Ajarn] that's priceless

<@PaulGonegooley> I just opened the box for my new harddrive
<@PaulGonegooley> it smells like victory
<malicious> the fuck it does
<malicious> opening a new pack of MTG cards.
<malicious> that smells like victory.
<@PaulGonegooley> that smells like never getting laid, ever
<@PaulGonegooley> that's what that smells like
<malicious> fuck you :(

Roi: That's all you have to say? Some Dutch minor is hitting
on me and you say "see you tomorrow"? Man, don't ever work for
the suicide prevention hotline.

<Adjaro> i hate the internet
<Adjaro> i have spent 15 minutes looking for george bush with
a lightsaber
<Adjaro> and have found NOTHING

< teferi> I lost the office pool
< teferi> damn
<+res0> aww, no more swimming at work

<KOMPRESSOR> guess what i got
<KOMPRESSOR> i got a 100 dollar cigar
<Lurch> wow, don\'t spend it all in one place

<Ali_mastah> so our exam finishes and i go to hand my paper in
about 2 mins late, and the tite-arsed teacher says "sorry no
more exams to be handed in it's too late you get zero" so i go
"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" and she goes all cocky and says "no, i
do not" so i go "good" i pick up the papers and slid my exam
in somewhere in the middle of them all.

a_spank_horses: Bro
i_spank_horses: I was driving in a passenger seat of my
friends car
i_spank_horses: piss wasted
i_spank_horses: He was driving like 45 mph
i_spank_horses: And there was a mexican guy getting in a truck
i_spank_horses: Close to my side
i_spank_horses: I stuck my hand out the window and smacked his
ass
i_spank_horses: and he screamed so loud
i_spank_horses: he thought he got shot
i_spank_horses: I hurt my elbow
i_spank_horses: It was so sick
muzzleflashed: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
i_spank_horses: I couldn't breahte for 2 days
i_spank_horses: funniest thing ive ever done

<G-nius> Yeah, but smoking is for girls who don't get sex o.o

<d0ppy> I just had an idea
<d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom....
<cdkj>  :/
<d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese
<cdkj>  get a girlfriend please

<Darth_Blade> Wow.
<Darth_Blade> Word crashes whenever I try to quote the
constitution article about human rights. Conspiracy theories
anyone? %)
<aetherspoon> heh
<Darth_Blade> But it's really really weird.
<aetherspoon> try openoffice.  It only crashes when you quote
Microsoft License Agreements.  :P

* Quits: Indonesia (Ezcess Flood)

<ChunkyQ> The man's a whore. His balls have seen more chins
than a Chinese FedEx employee.

<Breserk> I love your humour :D
<ErectuZ> I love your balls
<Breserk> :/
<ErectuZ> you seen Team America?
<Breserk> Physically?
<Breserk> Nope.
<ErectuZ> oh
<ErectuZ> then that miht have sounded a bit perverted
<Breserk> Yes.

<PinkLady> Seen pussygirl pop in and out, but never speak.
<PinkLady> Man, that didn't sound right at all.
<Shiffer-Brains> I think you had her confused with dickman

[phuong]: zim: smoking harms ur baby
[somdomy]: how does smoking hurt your laptop?

<uZi`> i got a photographic memory
<uZi`> :/
<Grimmeehh> cool
<Grimmeehh> porn on demand
<uZi`> mainly for numbers tho
<Grimmeehh> o
<uZi`> only ascii porn
<uZi`> :(

(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine
(XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you
have"

<monarch> the other day i skipped church and went to get
something to eat at 7-11
<monarch> i paid with a 10 and recieved $6.66 in change.
<monarch> am i going to hell?
<qbert> almost certainly
<monarch> fuck

DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full
blast
DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up
DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud
DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look
DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of
him
DBO: its a note
DBO: written on cardboard
DBO: help up against the window
Muz: Yes...and?
DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm
sorry you have a tiny penis"
DBO: he turned it down after that

<Admiral_Payne> One day she was typing and turned to a
secretary and said she was almost out of typing paper, and
asked she should do
<Admiral_Payne> "just use copier machine paper," the secretary
told her
<Admiral_Payne> You know what she did?
<Admiral_Payne> she took her last remaining blank piece of
typing paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five copies

<helgrl> What c:\DARTHVADER said to c:\DARTHVADER\
LUKESKYWALKER ?
<helgrl> "I´m your folder"

<mikael> people should get beat up, for stating their beliefs
<penisbird> is that your belief?

<Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's
laptop, won't display animated .gifs ?
<Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options
<Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings
<Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it.
<Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see.
<Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have
to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a
Steaming Pile of Shit"

TheOrigionalFuzz: this one guy was yelling at me in spanish
the other day, so I said "speak a real language or go to hell"
and he kept yelling at me, and it was pissing me off, so I
flipped him off, so he started chasing me, so I started
running, and that's about it
TheOrigionalFuzz: turns out I was on his property
TheOrigionalFuzz: or something

<RandalCalrissian> Who wrote an essay entitled 'Advice to a
Young Man on choosing a Mistress'?
<Jeegoo> Cassanova 
<RandalCalrissian> Here's your 1st hint, B___am__ ____k___
<Jeegoo> no idea
<Randal> dr seus
<Jeegoo> hee
<Zwuh> Al Gore
<RandalCalrissian> Here's your 2nd hint, _en_a_in _r_n__i_
<RandalCalrissian> Here's your 3rd hint, B_njami_ Fra__lin
<Zwuh> Benjamin Frankin
<Jeegoo> Benjamn franklin
<Randal> benjamin frankls
<Randal> oop
<Randal> s
<Zwuh> haha
<RandalCalrissian> Time's up! The answer was: Benjamin
Franklin
<Zwuh> way to spell, team!

3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena

steve: whats your opinion on censorship
insomniacdude007: **** censorship

<flamebird> using trillian because \"it works with MSN too\"
is the same as saying \"well im not going to a strip club
tonight, ill just get my mother to give me a lap dance.. shes
a woman\" - its true.. but.. NO

<Nirtose> heres some geek for you... You make me hotter than a
overclocked, volt-modded Prescott chip with stock heatsink and
fan
<@Beaver> omg dude
<Nirtose> thats right
* Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(I told you once that im
married)
* Nirtose has joined #beaver
<Nirtose> :(
* Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(And not gay)