Yodo: Foogoo, what makes you think what I say is any less of a
surprise to me than you?

<sweet_monica12> any nice boys wanna chat?
<TerrorByte> You know sweet_monica12, saying that on IRC is
like walking into a whore house and saying 'Any nice girls
want to fuck?'

(&Jet) That reminds me of another funny story
(&Jet) Our senior prank last year:
(&Jet) (the seniors have now graduated)
(&Jet) their first attempt
(&Jet) they put birdseed ALL over the ground
(&Jet) like everywhere
(&Jet) too bad for them it was windy
(@Valkarious) LOL, think of all the birdshit
(@Valkarious) awww
(&Jet) and we have gardeners at our school
(&Jet) no wait listen
(@Valkarious) man, foiled
(@Valkarious) kk
(&Jet) the gardeners blew the birdseed
(&Jet) INTO THE PARKING LOT
(@Valkarious) LOL
(@Valkarious) YES
(@Valkarious) YESSS
(&Jet) Yeah baby
(@Valkarious) oh man
(@Valkarious) that's classic
(&Jet) so much bird shit on everyone's cars
(&Jet) it was fantastical
(Leprae) LOL

<Frosty> So, howabout Recent Sports Event?  An impressive
display of physical acumen, no?
<LOAF> OH NO EA OWNS SPORTS NOW
<LOAF> Only an *EVIL* monopoly would buy a license for
something!
<Frosty> ONLY GOTHS PLAY EVIL MONOPOLY.
<LOAF> I have dotcomopoly
<Halman> Wow, are all the squares reposessed?
<LOAF> Most of them no longer exist.
<Halman> Hehehehehehehehe

<pf_x> you might have been passed out
<pf_x> but it's still love

<Quast> bbg: homosexuality isn't a badge you get after you
fuck a guy in the ass for the first time
<Quast> or get it yourself
<xooz98> which badge do you get again?
<xooz98> the boy scouts system is so complicated

<Danny> Last night I was at my school at like 10pm
<Danny> waiting for my mom to pick me up
<Danny> and this minivan comes in the parking lot
<Danny> and starts doing burnouts and 180's
<Danny> it was the most pathetic thing
<Brad> heh I bet you'd say the same thing about me in my
Marquis
<Danny> No, I don't think so.
<Danny> This Minivan had a "Be careful, Honor student on
board." bumper sticker on it...

Chronic Munchies: imagine if anne frank had a BLOG instead of
a DIARY
Chronic Munchies: currently listening to: nazis pounding on
the door
GenAmonX2K: Current Mood: concentrating

jeudrietr: cuz i aint no hollaback girl
dizzygurl_27: is a hollaback girl a slut?
dizzygurl_27: lol
dizzygurl_27: *thinks*
jeudrietr: lol no
jeudrietr: its a girl who yells back instead of just kicking
someones ass
jeudrietr: theres more to it, but the rest cant be translated
into white terms
jeudrietr: sorry

<zerovampire> so I was reading bash.org, and there was this
great quote, "A guy at work yesterday saw my stickers on my
car, and asked me if Semper Fi was a form of martial arts."
<ryo-ohki> heheh, what is it, an band or something?
<zerovampire> O.o

<chris> ontario, canada is one of the only places in the world
where you can marry a fag but you can't smoke one

<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the
earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves
around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%

Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what
are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a
pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his
cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away

Promisemememphis: there was a girl in one of my bio teachers
classes and they had to put a cotton swab in their mouth and
look at the slide
Promisemememphis: he went to look at hers because she saw
something moving and told her it was a sperm
Promisemememphis: which meant that she'd just given some guy
head in lunch like fifteen minutes before hand
Promisemememphis: he wouldn't let her leave the class either

NTG85002: Hahaha
NTG85002: Today I was at my psych 101 lecture, of about 300
people, and we were talking about Freud's psychosexual stages,
and how he thought homosexuality was credited to an lack of
influence from the same sex parent.
NTG85002: So in the middle of class, my friend says "I don't
believe that.  If not having one of your parents around led to
homosexuality, there would be a lot more black homosexuals."
NTG85002: The teacher was speechless.

donchongo: i wonder what possesed some one to invent play-doh
and silly putty
Wildfire: poop dries out to fast
donchongo: that really put a screeching halt to my thought
process

<myra> another accident?
<myra> what this time
<BWLaptop> 3rd grader running to catch the bus got hit by it
<BWLaptop> died at the scene
<karrde> guess he caught it...

<El_Angsto> interesting, I just read on slashdot about the
linux worm
<zeekmor> it shouldnt effect us
<zeekmor> we are in a city, not in the wild

JunInohara: ew you guys ARE still here
JunInohara: bummer
JunInohara: <3
RockMecha: there's an easy fix to that
Whorange2: we don't love you either.
RockMecha: you see that great big button with an X on it?
RockMecha: if you click on that, we magically go away
Whorange2: whee
JunInohara: :P
RockMecha: and we go on to lead happy, cow-free lives
Whorange2: I love you more than ice cream for that Serge.
RockMecha: XD
Whorange2: and I love ice cream like those fat people who have
to ride on flatbed trucks love ice cream. that's alot.
Whorange2: right Jamie?
JunInohara: uhm
JunInohara: yes?

<rob-bot> k, i got attacked by this hobo today on the side of
the road, with his hat full of change and everything
<(``)> what you do?
<rob-bot> i asked him if he had change for a 5

< pin> so on saturday i was at a bar
< pin> telling a friend about how i played world of warcraft
that day
< pin> and this girl was like.. are you talking about world of
warcraft?
< pin> then i found out she played alliance and stopped
talking to her
< pin> dumb cunt

TsK/Scel: i think im gonna download some porn
TsK/Scel: something ive never seen before tho
TsK/Scel: something...... different
Shane/Mehul: lol
Shane/Mehul: porn with women?
TsK/Scel: fuck you

<DerMetzgermeister> A guy at work yesterday saw my stickers on
my car, and asked me if Semper Fi was a form of martial arts.

<Sceleratus_Angelus> definition of canada = beer, hockey, bum,
aboot
<n3o> definition of USA: mcdonalds, war

<hahacornut>  I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus>  go to visual africa

<OG4Life> hey u faggity bunch of foreign fucks
<[Abomination]> Dalnet can't hear you unless you connect to
them dude.

<ChernoBog> i will ring for no money, and i know how to speak
English, Macedonian, Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian and
Bulgarian... understand some of russian too....
<Dashiva> and you haven't ethnically cleansed yourself yet?

<Dogan> man, my english class this year is so sweet
<Dogan> there was this quick write on the civil rights
movement yesterday
<Dogan> couldn't think of anything else, so i just ended with
"In conclusion, all your base are belong to us."
<Dogan> she just wrote "Rephrase?", and gave me 30/30

* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?

<Spacetrash> there's this sign at the bottom of the stairway
that is bothering me
<Spacetrash> it says "floors are slippery when wet"
<Spacetrash> well no shit
<Spacetrash> you put the fucking sign up when the floors are
wet to alert people they are wet and therefore slippery,
putting up that sign is like getting rid of the fire alarms
and putting up signs that say FIRE IS HOT

<Jimmothi> damint
<Jimmothi> i drew on some plastic
<Jimmothi> then it rubbed off on my hand
<Jimmothi> i never noticed and slept on it and now its all up
my face and ear
<Jimmothi> i look like a smurf gave me a facial

<testman> i asked my girlfriend to come home to watch the last
samurai
<testman> and she answered "i'd like to, but i didn't see the
first ones"

<GeoTube> Seriously, my family is retarded, they have to write
D, E or F on the cd/dvd reader/writers so they know which one
is which when they put a disk in!

Sanjuro Makabe: btw remember what you made up about something
like the 7 layer protocol of the network or something?
Sanjuro Makabe: application, presentation, session, transport,
network, datalink, physical
Sanjuro Makabe: i remember you made up something nasty to
remember those by...i forgot what it was
Saem: a pussy so tight no dick penetrates

<skreid> so i was trick or treating right
<GODLY> arent u a little old for that?
<skreid> fuck no
<skreid> anyway
<skreid> so i went as a present this year, just a bigass bow
and some curled ribbons, and i go up to this door
<skreid> and a 75 year old woman and her husband open the
door, and the woman goes "what are you?"
<skreid> i go "a present", and she gives me candy.  just as i
start to walk away, she goes
<skreid> "who would want that??"
<skreid> and some little kid behind me just goes "OHHHH! 
BURN!"
<GODLY> loser.

<tinks> besides, the more i have in savings, the more i can
put into my 401k every month
<tinks> yeayyyyy 401k
<brat> Doesn't 401k come out of your paycheck, not savings?
<grue> heh, they should havae called the savings accounts at
Enron the 404k
<grue> savings not found

[ Tom^ ] i remember my mate had a 33k modem, and we were like
you should upgrade to 56k, then his dad was like, there is no
point cus most webpages wont load any faster than around 33k
anyway
[ Tom^ ] that was when i thought the internet was some guy
sitting in a room and when you type in a web page he got that
then sent the page to ur pc
[ Tom^ ] replace man with server and i had the idea :P
[ L-uNiT ] that's an awesome system tom
[ L-uNiT ] if he doesn't feel well then he'll just go away
[ L-uNiT ] and toilet brakes mean that we'll all get 404's
[ L-uNiT ] it'd be more effecient than microsoft servers

<sithmaster> hmm i got a cut on my finger, not sure where it
came from
<DarkBlueTornado> i got multiple cuts down my arm...not sure
where those came from either
<RawBeef> Maybe you've been sleep emoing

<seaster> this kid once said to me he was 10% gay and that he
thought it was normal.
<seaster> i said to him "it would suck if that 10% was your
cock"

______ : Swastika, from IKEA

<chiby> base? is that another word for acid?
<spriggan> wtf, when's your chemistry exam?
<chiby> tomorrow
<spriggan> hahahahaha, oh man, you're screwed

<Ryz0r> are your parents gona be at your party?
<z3phyr> my mum is
<Ryz0r> is she cool?
<z3phyr> yeah she is she lets me pretty much do what i want
when i want
<z3phyr> all my mates think she is cool which is worrying
<Ryz0r> you think you've got it bad
<Ryz0r> all my mates want to sleep with my mum
<z3phyr> well she is pretty fit
<Rey> Yeah, I'd hit it.
<Lord_Cocktax> me too!
<Ryz0r> AAGH!!

<Chrisco> stifffyyy where have you been?
<Stifler> i said the meanest thing to my girlfriend last night
>=-)
<Stifler> you know.. cause i've been spending soo much time
with her, neglectin the gaming and all..
<Stifler> well i said "you know i spend soo much time with
you, i wish you were deaf, so i could get like community
service for hanging out with you, i'd have a bajillion hours!"
<Chrisco> oh.. no wonder your back online again.

<wenko> today in java the prof asked the class for a simple
iterator where we can  use some math
<wenko> so this one guy pipes up and says "Make it an address
book, and It will calcuate the percentage of girls that slept
with you"
<wenko> the prof looks up and says "I can't do that", meaning
its not appropriate
<wenko> so the guy yells back "why not?"
<wenko> and the first thing that came to mind i said "You get
an error when you divide by zero"

<Ecob16> so this hobo asks me for spare change right
<Ecob16> and i ignore her cause im chatting with a mate
<Ecob16> so shes like "manners dont cost anything"
<Ecob16> so i turn to her and say "yeah, but if they did I
could afford them" :D
<Ecob16> you shud have seen her expression...

<Rhodz> So anyway, if I get that threesome with my girl and
one of her hot friends, I'll be a happy man
<Psy> Well of course you'd have to tape it
<Rhodz> I won't be taping it. What I want to do is get a
director in to tape it. 3 cameras, lighting, the works.
<Psy> Awesome. I did photography last year, I could totally do
that
<Rhodz> Er...do you really want to see my wang?
<Psy> Well, we could just blur it out...
<Rhodz> Sweet! Then it'll be just like Japanese porn!
<Rhodz> ...
<Rhodz> Except I won't be shitting on her.

<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
<seelet> wtf
<HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking
weed, and fucking chicks
<seelet> :(

nurv3947: So, I was talking to one of my friends, and she's
kinda fat, right?
nurv3947: And this woman walks up to us, looks at my friend
and asks "Are you pregnant?"
nurv3947: And she says "Yes, I got gang raped by twelve
donuts."
nurv3947: Honestly, I almost died.
nurv3947: I just turned and walked away.
nurv3947: I couldn't even walk straight.

SteveDixon23: how hard do you think it would be to build a
working EMP bomb?
xanxion: the hard part would be making a video to prove it
works.
SteveDixon23: ...
SteveDixon23: this is true.

robuofw: my roommate has been gone since friday night
robuofw: and I have no idea where he is
cyateon: do you think he's alive
robuofw: I hope so
robuofw: rent is due tomorrow