<+Toba> heh, you can chmod a file to 007
<+Toba> license to be killed

<Nichole> at what point do you cross that line from "seeing
someone" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" status
<RobbiePaul> After he starts hitting you
<Nichole> fist or open handed?

<apeloverage> my friend was fired from his job in a sex shop
<apeloverage> when his boss found evidence that he'd been
looking at bus timetables on his work computer

GregatCW: gee, the more people are paid the more useless they
are? "For the most part, typing skills are inversely
proportional to salary; meaning,  the more money someone
makes, the worse they are at typing."
suoiritras: ya
suoiritras: so, except, does that mean myspace is occupied by
billionaires?
GregatCW: .... must be... you've discovered the secret to my
space...

<Rjx> see i'm fully willing to honour "valentines day" as long
as the female in question honours "naked nintendo day"

<Korru> Quite friendly hacker/account thief
<Korru> Returned my account, got a message in email with the
password.
<Korru> "Thanks for the loan"

[translated from German]
<MuschiExpress> kater are you there?
<KoolerKater> yeah
<MuschiExpress> What kind of spaz are you?
<KoolerKater> what's up?
<MuschiExpress> You were supposed to burn my holiday videos on
DVD for my wife
<MuschiExpress> NOT your porn collection ffs
<KoolerKater> omg wait a minute... you said you wanted the
holiday stuff and that porn
<MuschiExpress> Yes, but on TWO, in numbers, 2, you
understand, TWO DVDs!!!
<KoolerKater> ...

<inspin> so just as I cutting into my pizza, the bell rang
<inspin> It was the little girl from nextdoor, asking where my
sister was
<inspin> so I hold up the knife covered in tomatosauce and say
in an evil voice "she's not here right now"
<3ll3> LOL
<inspin> so she screams and runs away
<inspin> I felt guitly so I start chasing her saying "I'm
sorry"
<inspin> Then her father sees me chasing after his little girl
with, what he must have thougt, a bloody knife
<3ll3> I hope he called the cops on you :p
<inspin> well no, but I don't think I'm getting my knife back
anytime soon :(

Nobdepot signed on at 4:00:27 PM.
VenuSparkle85 (4:00:37 PM): hey
Nobdepot (4:00:39 PM): hey
VenuSparkle85 (4:00:41 PM): brb
Nobdepot (4:00:54 PM): wtf??? you messaged me just to say
that?]
Nobdepot (5:43:35 PM): ...

@redhook: I'm surprised california doesnt require large neon
writing on handguns that say "WARNING: Bullet Comes Out Here
->>>" pointing at the barrel

<Jenny> I love you.
<Jenny> I just wanted you to know, incase you were starting to
doubt.
<Phalanx> My bro's not here right now, and by the way he's
cheating on you.

<J-Dawg> no, I just refuse to turn on my heat after my $255
heating bill
<WeirdAl> 1 dollar more and you'd need another bit

Sexay Prof Long: Opera 10 is going to require a resolution of
1280x1024
Sexay Prof Long: it will contain a 1280x1000 ad
Sexay Prof Long: leaving you 24 pixels of vertical space for
internet browsing
Gothic: haha
Gothic: It'll open a whole new avenue for 1280x24 porn

<MMCD> my friend got expelled for bringing in kim by eminem,
the one where he abuses his wive and says he's gonna kill her
<Tiger> No no...in 'Kim' he murders her new boyfriend, slits
the guy's 4 year old son's throat, takes Kim on a drive and
chokes her to death.
<MMCD> oh yeah couldn't remember been ages since i heard it

<Rebbel> Man Google Earth is awesome
<Android18> Why?
<Rebbel> Im looking at my house
<Rebbel> brb, pizzas here
<BFMV> Now thats what i call technology

<defekt> eh, some muslims just burned the swiss flag as a
danish flag
<naama-> it's the thought that counts

<Geese> Did you know that some people say "niche" instead of
"niche"?
<ChupaChups> no way

<@Wally> stupid muslims promise virgins
<@Wally> if they promised lightsabers I'd be on my way to
mecca
<@Wally> I can hang out with virgins on IRC

<joesboxd3b> it is just ironic.... you can't get the cvs
version of cvs unless you get the older version of cvs then
cvs to the cvs server to get the latest cvs version of cvs

,meep> i hate the parents who go "does it wash off?"
<meep> i'm like wtf! of course it freaking washes off
<meep> it's face paint
<meep> no i am going to permanently mark your child to look
like a cat.

USnip: today in english class
USnip: the teacher was discussing a thesis statement about
close friends
USnip: and she was like
USnip: "well what do you want from a close friend?"
USnip: and one guy yelled out "well is it a male or a female"?
USnip: and she snapped back "I'm sure it doesn't matter to
YOU"

Brian Laptop: myspace is like the vegas of the internet.... a
lot of people want to go but no one wants to admit what
happens when they're there

<fraseyboy> you know what i just realized?
<fraseyboy> I can be anyone i want on IRC!!!!!
<fraseyboy> ...
* fraseyboy is now known as fraseyman

[workin] I went back to get another 20" monitor..
[workin] they were sold out!
[workin] I had to get a 19
[workin] I told my husband ONLY a man would say that 1"
doesn't matter

<K|O|G|I> -- boss just gave me a list of things to do...
<K|O|G|I> #2) service computers (clean, oil, etc)

sexy       heyyyyy Adam i'm Sandra do you remember me?
DJARCAS    FUCK OFF BOT
sexy       same here
DJARCAS    I win.

<Sunny> Holy crap!
<Sunny> No wonder I'm always being stared at by the cat across
the way
<Sunny> There are two of them!!!
<Sunny> They must have been taking shifts...

Vann: turns out grilling the peanut butter and jelly was not
my best idea.
Jeffrey: OMG you didn't...
Vann: no, george foreman did.

<koharski> heh, my dad "hey, can you run some CAT5 into my
room?"
<koharski> apparently he wants to "check his email in bed"
<koharski> yesterday the router was blinking alot in my room
<koharski> so I went upstairs and knocked on his door
<koharski> "get any interesting emails?"
<koharski> he told me to go to bed :(

< smith> right, I just opened the yellow pages at random to
the "scaffolding" page
< smith> and there's an advert saying "ENSURE YOUR NEXT
ERECTION IS IN SAFE HANDS"

kristchan: you know you want some of mama's lovin
cromicus: thats disgusting
kristchan: I'd leave you walkin funnny
cromicus: yeah, that funny walkin is called "running away"

<ToasterIron> guys check it out i'm going to be this awesome
scientist
<ToasterIron> one day i'm going to invent a base the only
melts jews on contact
<ToasterIron> i'll call it holocaustic
<Tristain> "DO NOT CONCENTRATE"

<spazbob> im orderin a black dvd writer, on the assumption
it'll run faster

MetalJunkie: Is it just me, or has technology gone too far
when I have to ask whether or not my calculator is backwards
compatible..

Edgey: I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl that
would get really mad, if she heard me say that.

<Ommi> So i was talking to this girl
<Ommi> that i have been talking to for a very long time now on
msn messenger
<Ommi> and today i sent her a picture
<Ommi> after that she went offline
<Ommi> and now she's back online and isn't answering anything
i say :/

<Alucard> and it was like love at first /whois

< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that
would pull details from flickr and google map
< shiruken> how far did you get?
< JaredCE> ermm
< JaredCE> i installed apache

<Everdarkgreen> WE DID THE MASH
<Everdarkgreen> we did the keyboard mash
<Everdarkgreen> THE KEYBOARD MASH
<Everdarkgreen> it was a lihosdptjhskrjngiso;
kihy,aehtptuyjgio;t

(royshen) I have a headache
(MrWhite) i have a sandwich but i dont go around bragging
about it

Good Book Report
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life"
by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report,
with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:
Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99
Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden
love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden
love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.
Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same
thing

cmerc: "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see
the shadows". - Helen Keller
cmerc: SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHES TALKING ABOUT

<NathanielsBlaze> what do you think the game would be called
if mario had a gun
<FalconWarrior> Metroid.

<Phatt_One> crap is disgusting
<syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap
<syntax> im a plumber
<syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my
family

<Guest1087> shut up asshole
<Pikanyah> If I'm an asshole, you're an asswipe. You're so
low, you serve me.
<Guest1087> shup up bitch, i'm the asshole
<Guest1087> wait a sec....

<Vehementi> girlfriend-crafted brownies are the best
<BauB_> girlfriend crafted blowjobs are better
<Vvivix> those arnt really crafted though
<Vvivix> its more of a buff
<Vvivix> with a long cast time
<Hyper_Monkey20> Actaully, it's more of a debuff... It leaves
you tranced and unable to go into combat.

ARcanUS NUMquam: night is sitll young
live billboard: virginal
ARcanUS NUMquam: the barrier between today and tommorrow has
barely been pressured
live billboard: but soon it will be penetrated
live billboard: father time will thrust his way into the young
tommorrow
ARcanUS NUMquam: using his tool that he nicknamed the "second
hand" when it strikes 12

<hickhut> i have to write a speech on myself tomorrow
<hickhut> so gay
<mrquin27> there is a start

* Now talking in #Democrats
<Gunman> is anybody here?
<Gunman> hmm...everybody's an op, but nobodys doing
anything...
<Gunman> so im definately in the #democrats channel...

<Atob> a alphabetically be in organised sentence should words