<jesus_> my healing hands be drivin tha virgins wild.

<runedx2> the other day... my cat was in my lap.. and i was
petting it. but then i realized there wasn't a cat in my lap.
:(

<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge

<netmunky> i just ate
<orange1> he says as he returns from the bathroom

<LaBOMBa> I forfeited a wrestling match to this dude becuase
his name was Dick Harden

Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> :  taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!!
PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that
on my front website

<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy
him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)

<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
<thammy> haha
<thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke

<Aquanda> that would be cool if we were both whacking off at
the same time to natalie portman

<JonnyButt> dont you hate it when you are making out with a
chick
<Dunebug> no
<JonnyButt> and she has a penis

<TK-42-1> what the hell is philatio?

* compl3x is away (sleeping with kilrathi's mom)
<KilrathiX> hey!
<KilrathiX> that's my job!

* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.

<heffster> next thing on my to do list is to lose my virginity
<heffster> i'll probably have to fork out money for that too

<MofieJoe> if that really is wabby's sister
<MofieJoe> he should think about fucking her

[08:40] <GreenNight> voodoo mmm
[08:41] * GreenNight is going to invent a marriage simulator.
It's a blowup doll that sits on the couch, takes your money,
and slowly inflates larger and larger

<Carlton>I see someone walking down the street wearing all
black I think, "Probably has a favourite Linux distribution."

<eleven> hitler
<eleven> that fucking jew

<wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a
Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that
Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser

<BladeXT> hehe www.geekissues.org is a pretty cool site
<Videl17> wtf does Gee Kiss Ues mean?
<BladeXT> *sigh*

<Worsemaker> public boolean whore(String x) { if (x = "Your
Mom") { return true; } else { return false; }
<Seigfried> You forgot your close brace, Worsemaker.
<Seigfried> And the else is extraneous.
<Seigfried> And I don't think you need the "public" unless
it's actually in a class.
<Seigfried> And THAT has infinite levels of recursion. ;P
*** Worsemaker was kicked by Mandoric (C++ kick. =p)

<Rival|prophecy> god some guy named whois keeps messaging me
with all this hacker shit

<cam[gt]> is it bad if you're driving down the road and see an
address on a mailbox that's 1394, and the first thing you
think of is firewire?

<danie2> do you have a gf?
<ieatrocks> hahahahahah
<ieatrocks> wow, thanks for even asking.

* Elysian changes topic to 'Metallica is the best thing to
happen to pop since Micheal Jackson'

<destruct> my boss just said  o/~ be a man o/~
<archon> did he say it while removing his belt?

<GoreGasm> i'm sure i could beet you up, and i would
<th0m> *laying on sidewalk covered in beets*

<RuTaLiA> i *know* im a receptionist, but it would make my job
a lot easier if ppl wouldnt call up here

<indecisive> I WISH I WAS LIKE 5
<indecisive> I COULD START ALL OVER
<indecisive> LIKE HEY, I COULD PRETEND TO NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE
MY LEGS
<indecisive> AND WENT AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR LIKE ALL MY LIFE
BUT EXERCISED MY LEGS SECRETLY AND THEN JUMPED OUT AND STARTED
BREAK-DANCING
<Fishfood> YOU COULD GO TO A CRIPPLE CONVENTION AND GET UP IN
THE MIDDLE AND SHOUT 'GET WITH THE FUNK' AND JUMP ON THE TABLE
<indecisive> WHILE I'M WISHING, I WISH I HAD FIVE THOUSAND
DOLLARS

<Phix> 70lbs of plutonium fell into san francisco bay off some
ship or something
<Phix> did it cause any freak deformities?
<Phix> well it is San Francisco

<meenk> I hate when I am walking through the produce section
at the store and they stop me and say "why are you stealing
our canteloupe?"

<MixieArmadillo> hahaha
<Mnementh4> if you tell me, I will have to commit sepuku
<MixieArmadillo> is that anything like oragami?
<Mnementh4> more messy, but the concept is basically the same

A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit
someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch
out olsen twins!

<Lyfe> definition of porking: going to the club with the
intention of sleeping with the fattest hoe you can find, in
the hopes your bitch will be fatter then the ones your buddies
pick up, so you get the pot of money.
<Lyfe> oops, wrong channel =/
<Lyfe> disregard
Morlack coughs
<Rakash|HoW> Lyfe you need a little timeout?
<Morlack> No, I think he needs a better plan at getting women.

<SaM`E> wh00p im getting an amp and 2 12" subs for my car
:P~~~~~~
<SaM`E> 1400 installed wif a dual sub box
<glacius> that'll sound good...
<glacius> till they're stolen.

<LlamaKing> i spell disc with a C when referring to cd's, and
with a k then referring to floppies :o
<Ace0522> sometimes i'll lable a vcd disc1 and disk2
<Ace0522> it's just random with me
<LlamaKing> heh
<Ace0522> sometimes i accidently write dick b/c im thinking of
both...and the "S" just gets dropped out
<LlamaKing> LOL
<Ace0522> then i scratch it out best i can and re-write it
<LlamaKing> dick1 and dick2
<LlamaKing> haha

<ALT--F4> im a irc nerd
<ALT--F4> i have spend up to 14 hours on here at a time
<ALT--F4> its my favorite thing until i remember that i have a
penis.
<Majin-Buu> k you are weird
<Majin-Buu> ill have to take ur nick into consideration
Parts: Majin-Buu (none@h24-66-113-73.tb.shawcable.net) [21
users]

<BiMP> i got a complete computer part list to buy
<BiMP> oh what fun
<Einsteini> what will be even better is recieving all the
parts, just like xmas :D
<BiMP> yeah
<BiMP> and they better not be in peices
<BiMP> *glares at santa*

<Kirke> I had interests too
<Kirke> But they all ended in court

<celebrity_nitwit> scrotum
<W0RMW00D> scrotum
<d1rge> damn im hungry

<tim``> i dont
<tim``> have pants
<tim``> im poor
<Unforgiven> lol
<Unforgiven> loin cloth?

<billf> if someone tried to pull a "surprise" prostate exam on
me, I'd get up and leave

<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a
pretty tricky business

<Iggz> screw it
<Iggz> i'm gonna put this cottage cheese on my sandwhich
<Iggz> and no ones gonna stop me

<Jarp> i am 19 years old
<Jarp> the big 2.0, if ya add up the numerals

<Jibble> I got a 3.5 this semester :D
<Jibble> I so thought I'd failed that history exam too
<MrEnthusiasm> its a computer error
<MrEnthusiasm> you should be getting a letter in the mail
rather soon explaining why your financial aide has been
revoked
<Jibble> I don't have any financial aid
<MrEnthusiasm> got the letter I see

<GameFang11> He says, and he pulls out sword from the wall
<GameFang11> he loses 3 HP
<GameFang11> The Thief attacks Christ
<Chris-Hotwire-Ashtear> hehehe
<GameFang11> DAMN! *Chris
<Drakkor> man
<Drakkor> you are going to hell

<Neo_Rockman> ummm... if it's friday the 7th, does this mean
that in 7 more days it will be friday the 13th?
<Neo_Rockman> wait..

<MrEnthusiasm> ugh, new david bowie cd boasted that it had
interactive multimedia on it
<MrEnthusiasm> what it meant was 2 buttons, one to play the cd
and one to connect to a site

<InSoc> DEAR INVESTORS: HOW NOT TO MAKE STOCKS GO DOWN: _STOP
SELLING STUFF_
<InSoc> Heh.
<Destruya> That can only be done by incredibly large amounts
of trading
<MrEnthusiasm> it doesnt help that a bunch of big companies
are going down in flames so people panic and sell thinking
others will also burn and in fact promote them to die as well
<quatoria> there's every reason for investors to think other
companies will burn
<quatoria> the recent accounting problems are indicitive of a
much larger decay within corporate america, and investors know
it.
<quatoria> they also know bush trying to present himself as a
corporate reformer is a total frigging joke.