<jbou> I live in the liberal state of MA, and we can
drinkalcohol, and penetrate naked women at the same time
<YCDK> Drink alcohol, penetrate naked women... #insert
"kennedy_joke.h"

<Shana> such memories
<Jake> I had some decent memories with Stacy's mom
<Axel> jake unless you had a nice time with a 50 year old
you're a sicko
<Jake> She wasn't 50 at the time
<Jake> Hello, son

<haole-writing> did you ever read my story, vampress?
<Vampress> I'm sorry I didn't get a chance yet
<Vampress> it's sitting on my nightstand
<Vampress> staring at me everyday
<Ragnarok> haole must have put a lot of himself in that story

<T-Girth> that girl kept me up all night long <G>
<T-Girth> of course it was just cuz she wouldn't shut her trap
while i was tryin to sleep

[    Orochi]: Network Interfaces[#1 (Realtek RTL8029(AS)
Ethernet Adapt (10Mb/s) 2029.16MB In, 65.49MB Out) #2(3Com
EtherLink PCI (100Mb/s) 2541.76MB In, 942.64MB Out)]
[ anim0sity]: hell
[      sTek]:  [NetWork]  #1 (NETGEAR FA310TX Fast Ethernet
PCI Adapter (10Mb/s) 213.70MB In, 55.17MB Out) #2(ELNK3
Ethernet Adapter (10Mb/s) 0.00MB In, 0.00MB Out)
[ anim0sity]: dialup[globe via Generic 56K HCF Data Fax Modem
@ 50Kb/s for 6h 34m 44s (4.73MB up, 124.54MB down)]

<Notoes> YES
<Notoes> FINALLY
<TlMMAH> u kissed a girl?
<Notoes> no
<Notoes> EXTERNAL 60GIG HD

<Keoni> Thank you for using Wordzone's Express Translation
service. The text you have just submitted can be translated
for the following price. Accepting this price by clicking on
the "ORDER" button will allow us to begin translating your
document immediately.
<Keoni> Translation Price: $ 10.00
<Keoni> WHO THE FUCK WILL PAY 10 BUCKS FOR 1 WORD???
<Ragnarok> someone who really needs the word
<Keoni> what word is that?
<Ragnarok> hmm
<Ragnarok> well
<Ragnarok> i was on the phone with the database tech support a
couple days ago
<Ragnarok> well
<Ragnarok> nights actually
<Ragnarok> and since it was the middle of the night
<Ragnarok> we get some guy in france
<Ragnarok> and his english was incredibly shitty
<Ragnarok> i'da paid $10 to know how to say assmarauder in
french

* Vod recites the Mr T prayer
<Vod> Oh Baracus, who was in 'Nam, Mr. T be thy name. Thy van
will come with Face and Hannibal, on Earth as it is on
TV-Land.
<Vod> Give us this day, our daily milk, and pity us fools, as
we pity the fools who cross us.
<Vod> Lead us not into airplanes, and deliver us from Murdock.
For thine is the Mohawk and the Van, and the Gold Chains,
forever, or at least until the mid-80's. Amen.

<saunafrend> damn it, walmart doesnt advertise their shotguns
on their website.

<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats
burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE
HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think
it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you
burn.

<rei> only you can prevent forests! :)

<Elly_May>  i'm so sick of fucking my father
<Shitshe>  you mean i'm so sick of MY fucking father
<Elly_May> whatever makes you happy you conservative piece of
shit

<Elly_May>  my little sister just asked me why my hair was
tangled
<Elly_May>  i told her it was because my boyfriend came all
over it when i was giving him a blow job
<Elly_May>  at which point my father admitted he could hear
me....

<weasel> i made a thing that turns red when you left click it
and blue when you right click it
<weasel> and now i can't stop clicking it
<sponge> thats sad
<weasel> no, what's sad is that this took me 2 hours to write
and debug

Kydaimon: so have you found out which chess piece you are yet?
Kydaimon: if not i suggest you get on that...I'm hedging my
bets you're a queen
Kydaimon: FAG
Jaron95DX: fuck no
Jaron95DX: HAHAHA
Jaron95DX: I hate you
Kydaimon: only because you know that's the funniest thing
you've read today motherfucker

<shitshe> it would be so convenient if cyber sex was real

<NyseriA> Things I've learned about war from videogames: If
you find yourself mortally wounded by an enemy sniper be sure
to let him know that he is a faggot.

<NyseriA> at uni we asked this lad why the carpet was a
different colour under this computer desk, he said that he had
spilled an eggcup of bleach :D What made it worse though was
that there was a lass sat on his beanbag on teh floor and she
said, did you spill it upwards onto the keyboard shelf bottom
as well :P

<NyseriA> i just hit my hand with a hammer
<NyseriA> and the first thing i said was "SPLENDID"
<NyseriA> which made me laugh
<NyseriA> then i dropped the hammer on my foot because i was
laughing at me saying splendid instead of FUCK

<nilumtil> HOPE U GOT 2 IPS
<BilliamForty> i have twenty anyone want one?
<cln> BilliamForty, YES
<cln> i have no idea what i'd do with it though.
<BilliamForty> ok you can have 250.912.666.56454.258.4145.541
<BilliamForty> and if anyone says thats not an ip they can
meet me out back
<cln> that isn't an ip.
<BilliamForty> meet me out back
<cln> will do
*** cln invites you to join #out.back

<r-j> ebay bought paypal for 1.5 billion dollars
<Doh_> wow
<smozoma> i wonder if paypal used ebay to sell themselves to
ebay?
<smozoma> and did ebay pay by paypal?
<r-j> lol

<IngyThing> ill probably pop in sometimes about 2300
<ILoveJackDaniels> we'll still be here, and ken still won't be
able to type :)
<IngyThing> hehe
<kensplace>  hic i reswomble that remark
<ILoveJackDaniels> flro
<kensplace>  resembel
<kensplace>  resembel;
<kensplace>  hic
<ILoveJackDaniels> resent?
<kensplace>  resembl;e
<kensplace>  hic
<kensplace>  look like

<Ancalag0n> yes i just used residents as a verb
<dragonbyt> i hate fskcing dialup
<Ancalag0n> dialups gay
<Akki> how about "resides on"
<Ancalag0n> u should get aol
<Ancalag0n> akki:nope
<mikephoen> what the hell, did they install irc at the retard
house :/

harm|work: there was a fucking insect on my monitor
harm|work: and i saw it and i was like fuck im gonna squelch
it
harm|work: and i pointed
harm|work: and double clicked
harm|work: i mustve missed cause it flew away :(

<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at
their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas
factory."
<Blixt> KEKE LA~ OFFICER!

<@Social> mathcore is DEP
<@Social> and mr gayngle
<@Phil> "AHHHHHH ONE PLUS TWO EQUALS THREE I HATE YOUR MOM
AHHHHHHHH ::fast guitars::"
<@Phil> oh
<@Phil> i thought it was hardcore with mathematical lyrics
<@Social> lol
<@Social> LOL
<@Social> oh man
<@Social> that made me laugh
<@Social> AHAHA
<@Social> that would be great
<@Phil> i was being serious
<@Social> like
<@Phil> i would be a pioneer of that genre
<@Social> "AH 2 TIMES FUCKING 3 EQUALS 6 DIVIDED BY THE SQUARE
ROOT OF YOUR MOTHER'S LOVE!!!!! FUCK!!!!"

<@PhiL> jesus fucking christ, hitting tyrant with the knife is
like poking a small baby in the stomach
<@PhiL> the motherfucker giggles in your face, then claws it
off

* ILoveJackDaniels is gonna set up a "Ken's Typos" quote site
<kensplace>  msssake me anon but ken still
<ILoveJackDaniels> Ken: Lay off the crack. Seriously ;)
<kensplace>  lol
* kensplace promises not to slay antyother word

<@freak> i now have a 'HEERZ WUT IM LISTANEN 2' plugin so i
can piss everyone off
* @freak listens to PUDDLE OF MUDD - BLURRY
<@freak> not even a kick? :(
<@freak> fine
<@freak> i'll do it
*** freak was kicked by freak (NO FAGS IN #WTF ASSHOLE)

<es0> how you use TCp with an abacus?
<%sluggo> TCP as in a TCP/IP stack?
<@Amish> that would be a fancy abacus, indeed :)
<%sluggo> that would be about as useful as half of the RFCs
out there
<%sluggo> like "wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier
pigeons"
<@Amish> yeah, B. F. Skinner was really pushing for that one

<@yay> he doesn't have a low self esteem
<@yay> he thinks he's awesome
<@PhiL> really
<@yay> he's just depressed as hell because no one believes him

<RageATM> been sitting here for so long when i walked into the
other room i could still see my mirc screen

<p13-om1kron> wtg, my mom is all like, "clean room, mess, now"
<BX|AnarchE> tell her if she sucks your cock, you'll consider
it
<BX|AnarchE> that'll keep her on her toes

<fireserve> now, if you were to say "you stupid elephant cock
sucker" in a font like apple chancery, it would be rude yet
classy

<fireserve> !is the cumulitve mutiplication thing
<Benoit> ! is lots of things
<fireserve> like 6! = 6x5x4x3x2x1
<Wolfman_Dain> ! is the programming term for "not"
<Benoit> ! at the end of a sentence can also mean
exclamation... or so I've been told
<fireserve> and if you flip it upside down and put one at the
front, its spanish
<Benoit> !, is there anything it cant do?

<@Kamakazi> i've seen a cat land on it's head
<@Kamakazi> it was my fault
<@Kamakazi> i tried to make it do 2 backflips
<@Kamakazi> it was at my friends house
<@Kamakazi> i wanted to see if they ALWAYS landed on their
feet
<@Kamakazi> so i dropped him and he did.
<@Kamakazi> and i was like hmm...
<@Kamakazi> i wonder how many backflips he could do then

(Headache) oh <censored>, the power just went off
(Headache) ....
(Headache) wait a minute
(Headache) y does this seem wrong

<@Iceman> OW i just stabbed myself in the eye with a
mechanical pencil
<@Iceman> was trying to get it to stick in my ceiling, it fell
in my eye

<@shp> you think when we are older we will all sit in irc and
say stuff like "remember when we were young and drinks were
cheap and priests could molest young boys?"

(Gr0wleh) ouch
(Gr0wleh) I just hit myself
(Gr0wleh) in the balls
(Gr0wleh) brb while I wince in pain
(Gr0wleh) this... hurts
(Gr0wleh) had my hands on top of my head
(Gr0wleh) and they slipped off

<@Vitenka> ani, for one - you're not a country
<@Vitenka> for another, if you were, I'd bomb you

([aE]ZERO) //timerc 0 0 /color background $rand(0,15)
([aE]ZERO) that is ownage
(Headache) no1, i mean NO1 is stupid enuf to do that
(Headache) NOBODY
<@[MORAT]HellCat> hmm how can i turn it off??? pls :)

<Stormcaller> oh! i found a caltrop in my living room today

<CaptainCasual> thats just goatse enough to work
<NickBlasta> Fruedian slip?

*** Joins: bowswer (~myob@ZiRC-52337.ny5030.east.verizon.net)
[20:38] * Freshbrew jumps over bowswers head, and pulls the
key on the other side of the bridge and laughes manically as
he watches bowswer fall into the 8-bit lava

<FreshBrew> niggers are good, but you cant leave fried chicken
lying around, or watermelon. they'll snap it up like a
fucking.... nigger or something.

<Scofco> I neeeeed to gain weight
<Scofco> speaking of which, gonna go make dinner
* Scofco is away: making lasagna L:on, P:on
*** Scofco is now known as Scofco-away
*** Scofco-away is now known as Scofco
* Scofco is back from making lasagna. Awaytime 1min 14secs.
<Scofco> so much for that plan
<Jason> Wow, that was quick.
<Scofco> opened the freezer and saw some ice cream
<Idioteq> MASTER CHEF

<Staunchy> wet suits are cool..... i lost 3 pints of fluid
today
<Sureshot^> lol
<Sureshot^> they're class for cold sea
<Sureshot^> and avoiding jellyfish stings
<Staunchy> no I mean girls in wetsuits

*** kolby was kicked by Scofco (Get off IRC and go fall in
love, you damn pussy)

<Scofco> being a global operator is annoying, you see everyone
that comes and goes from the server
<phaded> the things some people complain about...