<Lombers[A]> Simboo: it was fun, cept when my mate cracked his
head open and we had to take him to the hospital
<Simboo> omg what happend?
<Lombers[A]> he ran into a low hanging section of the roof
<Lombers[A]> split his head
<Simboo> fwoar
<Lombers[A]> was pissing blood
<Simboo> stiches?
<Lombers[A]> about an inch cut
<Lombers[A]> yeah, 4 stitches
<Simboo> *shivers* eew.
<pace> lol needed a wall hack

<unknown> A Blow Job Is Better Then No Job...

<GetLinux> I wrote a mem eater and i'm running it, starting
winME's system monitor now
<The-Bus> GetLinux: You wrote MS Office??

<iretd> According to IRC, 99% of the chicks are into cybersex.
<Julian> The other 1% are actually girls.

<dive> hey
<dive> i got something we can debate
<dive> which is worse, MS as in multiple sclerosis or MS as in
microsoft
<dive> i honestly am not sure.
<zan> heh
<zan> microsoft is
<dive> yeah
<zan> because with multiple sclerosis you can use unix still

<infinitySPZ> Pong is probably the best designed shooter game
in the world.
<infinitySPZ> It's the only one that is made so that if you
camp, you die.

<dinarchvs> my friend sobel just had a great idea
<dinarchvs> fuck this 3d-accelerating game video hardware
<dinarchvs> we need smut-specific hardware
<dalias> ?
<dinarchvs> like an on the fly compression/decompression chip
that specializes in compressing fleshtones in images to save
bandwidth
<dalias> hahaha
<dalias> dude, go get some
<dinarchvs> or hardware-based algorithms to help render smut
faster
<dinarchvs> like a nipple algorithm to accelerate nipple
drawing
<dalias> you're developing a pr0n obsession
<dinarchvs> a special dick rendering chip
<dinarchvs> that can draw over 2000 dicks/second
<auspex_> there is pr0n specific hardware... gigabit ethernet

<BLaG> i wanna sleep naked
<BLaG> but i'm afraid my parents will come in and take
pictures of me and make a kiddy porn site on the internet

<AtrocityX> is there a virus that can make your computer lag?
heh
<DeskLazer> it's called AOL

<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who
understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID

[@c-rOCK] no mad
[@c-rOCK] just because you and I and guilty had dealings
[@c-rOCK] we were drunk
[@c-rOCK] and we agreed it was a mistake
[@madog] Guilty was a good piece of ass.
[@madog] err.
[@c-rOCK] i gotta give him that yeah he was

<Funkadelica> ¬_¬ it's a conspiracy
<maladroit> I LOVE THAT FACE
<maladroit> ¬_¬
<@wildkarrdex> I HATE IT AND I WANT IT TO DIE
<Funkadelica> ¬_¬ -----> x_X
* maladroit CAUSES ¬_¬ TO DIE
<maladroit> O_o
<@wildkarrdex> HAHA THAT'S SO FUNNY
<@wildkarrdex> IN A FAIRER WORLD YOU WOULD ALL BE DEAD

<Blaxxthos> dude these are no joke cameras
<Blaxxthos> 30:1 optical zoom
<Blaxxthos> 800:1 digital
<Blaxxthos> all 360x360 deg PTZ
<madog> you catch a lot of thieves?
<madog> people be tring to steal?
<Blaxxthos> yes
<Blaxxthos> all the time
<Blaxxthos> OH SHIT
<Blaxxthos> DARKIES IN THE HILFIGGER DEPARTMENT
<Blaxxthos> brb

<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference
between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present
on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the
cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her
present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I
came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended
if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<jonathans> brooklyn rules
<jonathans> some dude just leaned on his horn in his old
italian mobster car and it played the theme to the godfather

<Router> does anyone feed their furby with their penis
<BassDrop> those things are for pussies
<Router> i think that would be funny
<Router> YUM
<Router> lol

<Talwin> I masturbate cause my hand doesn't give me any
backtalk
<Talwin> I'm like "Get down there bitch"
<Talwin> And its all "!! k"
<Talwin> And afterwards it cleans itself off and doesn't say a
thing
<soap> i some times make a little puppet with my hand, and
make it talk before i masturbate with it, saying things like
"no, please...i'm a virgin!" and stuff like that.  you know,
resisting a bit.  i like foreplay when i masturbate.

<cylinder> should've left it on goatse when you got off
<Him> heh
<Ody> o_o
<Ody> that would've gone down well with the parents
<Ody> "MOM! TRISTAN'S BEEN USING YOUR CABLE MODEM FOR LOOKING
AT HARDCORE MAN-PR0N AGAIN!!!!!"
<Ody> err
<Ody> not again

<Random> Mdk: did your mom actually teach Erica to be a ninja,
does she come on irc, or is this all some big joke i'm not
getting?

<tweak> fucking stupid program
<OmniWyse> at least you know where your problem lies
<tweak> why can't I just plug my brain into the pc, lightwave
reads what I want and does it
<tweak> this is driving me up the fucking wall
<OmniWyse> cause then MS would find a way to hack your brain
and copy all the stuff you wouldnt want them to see
<tweak> nahh I'd have a brainwall
<tweak> I'd start thinking about tits and beer and they'd get
bored and leave

<MK|sleeping> i'd be up for bumpin a taxi ;)
<MK|sleeping> 6 pissed gamers runnin away from a taxi
<MK|sleeping> in the midle of the countryside
<BadAss> lol
<Ste[Away]> rofl
<MK|sleeping> fall down a ditch or summit
<BadAss> get raped again by that q3 guy who just happens to be
there
<MK|sleeping> see it on the news, 6 bodies were fond 2day
beaten and left in a bloody pulp, with a note sayin "i 0wn
j00, q2 sux, q3 0wn0rz j00" , cryptographers are stil trying
to decypher the code

<Ein> Bottomless pits work on what I like to call "Toilet
Paper roll on strings Theory"
<Stefanf> put meat on a string and lower it into the pit!
PLANET CORE BBQ!

(SithAdmin): fsck
(SithAdmin): paper cut on tongue
([TeMpEsT]): ouch
(Rambozo): ooh...
([TeMpEsT]): how did you manage that sith?
(Rambozo): he tried to eat out a paper model of anna
kournikova
(Rambozo): it came as a cutout in a magazine
([TeMpEsT]): lmao
(Rambozo): :D
(Rambozo): "Put tab A into slot B" "I sure will!!"

<Draven> w0ot. 150 MB porn movie done!
<kaMIKazE> nice
<+RedvaldezAWAY> not bad Cow
<@murder1> wd d/l a 150 mb movie when all you're gonna last is
at 500kb

<Petersen> trying to fit in irc, social life and work
<Petersen> no time for sleep
<Z59B> irc, IS social life? isnt it?

<Shinji> wtf
<Shinji> i have a #masturbation in my logs

<Axlar`cleaning> shhhhh
<pizza> i didnt make a sound... you ever hear a pizza make a
sound?
<Wey> crunch?
<Goatman> i heard a pizza scream once
<Goatman> but maybe that was the kid i baked in it

<[avon]> oh man
<[av0n]> even vc++6 rocks
<[av0n]> after install
<[av0n]> do you want to reboot now?
<[av0n]> no
<[av0n]> the system must be rebooted click ok to reboot
<[av0n]> and i bet you anything when i alt+f4 the box
<[av0n]> i'm gonna reboot
<[av0n]> just watch.
*** Quits: [av0n] (justin@mask-2556.swbell.net) (Connection
reset by peer)

<Cobain4ever 87> FUCK YOU
<Falaxor> pissing you off is like trying to pick up a fat,
ugly women at a bar. It's too easy, and when you suceed, its
no fun at all.

*** Now talking in #christian
<ircbuddy> :matrix.de.eu.dal.net 432 ircbuddy irc-pope
:Non-Ethical nickname
<ircbuddy> Even DALNet knows that the pope is 'non-ethical' :P
<BiblThmpr> excuse me

<steelcap> Imagine there was a way to make a monitor give off
like way more radiation
<steelcap> and give people cancer remotely
<steelcap> thatd be an awesome trojan feature..

<Makaveli> let's change girlfriend to boyfriend
<Makaveli> then the statement is true
* SoulVoid whispers to Paralysis: Mak loves the cock
<Makaveli> wtf
* Paralysis nods sagely
<Paralysis> mak, I have a proposition for you
<Makaveli> fuck you both
<Paralysis> oh, in that case, you already answered!
* Paralysis is away (mak :D).

<Benco> I'M ALL AnGSTY NOW!
<Benco> DAMN MY SOCIAL LIFE!
<zamros> WHY
<Benco> I'M HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS!
<Siarin> Benco: Joy to the fucking world!
<zamros> I'M HAVING WOMEN PROBLEMS TOO
<Siarin> Stupid people. =(
<zamros> THE PROBLEM IS NONE OF THEM WILL FUCK ME

<Skulljack> Funny how all zombies have muscles, skin and
everything else nearly falling off of them, yet they almost
always have a fully functioning digestive system.

<RevengePimpy> man Steven Hawking is the shit
<HazE> lol
<RevengePimpy> He talks like a robot

<czth> cue jokes about dyslexic agonostic insomniac that
stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog

<RevengePimpy> i found a lifestyles condom in my car
<RevengePimpy> in the back seat
<RevengePimpy> I can't reamber the last time someone rode in
the back seat
<RevengePimpy> maybe someone broke into my car to fuck or
something
<RevengePimpy> it boggles my mind

<Current> Hey, in San Francisco, you don't leave dogs with
tags unattended in Chinatown, because it just marks them as
edible.

<sail> everyone must face their inner canadian

<PolestaR> Swish I dont have your skill where you just say
*smiles* online and the girl is yours
<Swish> rofl
<PolestaR> I have to like, talk for like 5000 chars before I
even get the phone number
<PolestaR> which is fake

<Cyrix> you can only curse me to eternal damnation for so long

<Swish> life is so ironic
<Swish> Happy hour: when you imbibe great quantities of
depressant

<Swish> the C5 military cargo plane?
<iban> that's what my mom's boyfriend used to pilot
<iban> yea the C5
<Swish> cooool :D
<iban> he said that when it loads it lowers the body down and
opens the front and back
<iban> its' the only plane that gets down on all fours to take
it from both ends

<D4NG3R0U5> when a girl says 'blow me' what the fuck does she
mean
<Ravenouse1> basically, she's telling you to suck her cock

<Rance> the mating ritual has begun... i fixed her cable
modem, she was impressed.  *flex*

icecubes32: i don't like small tvs
icecubes32: i have to squint
fromullins: you are always squinting
fromullins: you're chinese

<Greggorian> is it a big book?
<Jakeb> take your hand and make a tight fist
<Jakeb> now move it up till it's a foot in front of your face
<Jakeb> now hit yourself in the face as hard as you can
<Jakeb> that's what if would feel like if i hit you in the
face with that book, cause it's pretty big

<[HTK]-Goatmeal> why did dp leave?
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his shirt
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his pants
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his irc

<Sam_> hrmm help me come up with a new email address
<Sam_> i cant think of a clever name
<P|CK|E> Screwdriver Deluxe
<Sam_> im think TommySalami
<Sam_> or im gonna try to get Sam_
<P|CK|E> yeah
<P|CK|E> Sam_
<Sam_> i wish that was my name
<Sam_> my real name
<Sam_> actually i'd rather have it be @Sam_
<Sam_> so i have ops.

<irq> what acronym is posv?
> Pirates of Silicon Valley.
<irq> ah yes
> And it sucks, because I actually had a decent tape.
> Then I loaned it to a co-worker, whose wife interpreted
"silicon" as "silicone," got the wrong idea, and threw it out.