<+MaNiAk> she cant use stuff like
<+MaNiAk> webcams
<+MaNiAk> since she has win95
<+Yamatto> why does your mom wanna be on webcam?
<+Munkey> lol
<+OGE> *coughcamwhorecough*
<@Magus> eww
<+MaNiAk> fuck you oge and i hope you balls rot off

* nephlite is listening to korean pop
<Anwar> is it about starcraft?
<nephlite> probably

<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so
unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he
would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples
frightens me

<sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the
equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
<Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
<iTM> wtf
<Ronwe> that' just pathetic
<sean> yes, many MANY times
<Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never
to a barbie doll
<Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some
decent porn to smack to
<Astro> lol
<iTM> Charsi's ass?
<Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
<Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
<Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash

<infinitySPZ> In the beginning, God Created man out of his own
image.
<Fleebis> Was it JPEG?

<Drago> hey random, ya want to test something for me?
<random> if its long, tubular, made out of plastic and gently
vibrates..... then no. But if its some code.. ok

<Drugdown> I believe when you die its just like before you
were born.
<Drugdown> ...nothingness.
<Fleebis> Like when you empty your recycle bin!

-=  fortezza] if I push my honda over a cliff, how fast will
it get to 60mph?
-=   x1bncwn] the same speed as the viper
-=   x1bncwn] :P

<Drugdown> Everyone makes mistakes.
<Fleebis> Especially you.

<@lucid> good warez comes to those who wait ;)

<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm
not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot

<Darth-Phenom> I remember in third grade I was taught that
it's sinful to erase the word "God".  But now I backspace
"god" when I want to type "good" so frequently I'm obviously
going to Hell.

<LilGCube740-> im not an idiot i just dont like things that
are too comlicated

<^Tony_Soprano^> TommyT, we all knw that all girls on mirc are
guys, all guys are guys, and little boys are FBI agents

<crisp> http://www.sexfantasyzone.com/main/category.cfm?
Category=7&aff=12691
<bongy> frankly, i'm getting myself one of those!
<bongy> "Glow In The Dark Vagina Orifice. It looks so real,
especially during use. Mild lime scent."
<bongy> tara, does your orifice glow in the dark?
<Teargarden> only if I have a flashlight up my ass
<Teargarden> er...um...nevermind

[8:39pm]«+ w2o » Are you religious?
[8:40pm]«@ Dwarf» no Christian

<toilet2k3> im full of shit
<toilet2k3> ://///////////////////

<AxlRs> Wow the bottom 50 of quotes sure seems to consist of
geeks bashing everything from the Irish to blacks to gays.
<AxlRs> Makes me think there are a lot of computer nerds out
there living in the closet secretly yearning for a big black
Irish cock in the butt.

<Shephard> what I look like in real life is not relevant
<Shephard> Imagine Adolf Hitler

<CM^> Im just two letters and an arrow to you, arent I?

<Qualjyn> you fucking pussy ass fucker
<Qualjyn> i hate your fucking mom you bitch
<Qualjyn> suck my cock crap face
<Qualjyn> -
<Qualjyn> a haiku by Qualjyn

<SupaSupa> I got an Eclipse and it is missing the 3 bottom
gears, wtf is wrong with it
<Monte`SS`> bahahahahaha
<Monte`SS`> "missing"
<Monte`SS`> whered they go?
<SupaSupa> They are hiding

<irq> so i was spanking-the-monkey for all it was worth and
just about to cum
<irq> when my dad bangs on the door
<irq> i say "i'm comming"
<irq> and my dad says "that wont help you open the door"
<irq> now i am going to need theorpy for life!

<fox> i just banged my boob and lost my dog :(
<itchy> better than losing your boob and banging your dog

<bn> YOU SON OF A BITCH
<Watts> bn raises an interesting point

<LunchPailTree> the moral of this story is: if you have no
morals, go get yourself a 12 year old friend so you can fuck
her after you drug her

* Lieutenant_Dan thinks that it strangely tastes like poo
<Lieutenant_Dan> my mum made heaps of this cream caramel stuff
<Lieutenant_Dan> it's awesome!
<Jed_D`Lagged> Ew.
<Ragnarok`> did ur mum have a shit or something?

<Midtown> my family is going down the tube fast...
<Punkrwker> y is dat?
<Midtown> i walk into my rents comp room and my 13 year old
bro is beatin off
<Midtown> so i run into my moms room laughing my ass off and i
say "go look at spence"
<Midtown> she goes "is he playing with himself again"
<Punkrwker> hahahahahahaha
<Midtown> i almost fucking died laughing, then i was like
...."again?"

<@kronz> dot <--
<@kronz> wait no
<@kronz> . <-- dot

<Comedy> Now now, we all like our anal virginity.
<timbo`> mine was violated with my first poo

<Spink> man
<Spink> I shot myself in the neck, that sucked
<Minion> it's too bad you obviously survived
<Spink> yeah
<Spink> If only it was a gun
<Spink> I'd probably be happier
<Minion> We'd all be happier
<Spink> jizz on my collar :/

<Ouroboros> You know, I think the modern-day computer tech
replaces, to some extent, the mystic of ancient times.
<Ouroboros> Here we have these strange, inexplicable boxes
that are sometimes possessed by demons, and the mystic comes
and opens the sacred box and waves his magic charms and things
and somehow exorcises the spirits and makes everything good
and whole again.
<Ouroboros> Then he takes all your money and disappears.

<IDK> She sure didn't look 15 dancing around in her underwear.
<mothoc> that's probably why your friend was arrested
<IDK> The moral is, beware Russian/Eastern European accents.
<IDK> Apparently, the fall of the Soviet Union caused the
world market to be flooded with weapons-grade jailbait.

<Jsangspar> PEEKAY! >:O I DEMAND USE OF hi
<Jsangspar> :\
<PK-Fortis> what?
<Jsangspar> violent mood-swings mid-sentence
<Jsangspar> I think I have PMS.

<Dracostian> i just saw the worst movie ever
<spanker> your birth?

(@atarax) People act like 9/11 was some big thing, it's not
like they crashed EFnet or anything.

* ogw is zooming along at 650
* ogw looks like that guy from the memorex commercials when
he's sitting at his computer
<fo0bar> is it live?
<ogw> has anyone ripped that off yet?
<ogw> or have I just predicted the next Dell campaign
<ogw> "Is it dead?  Or is it Dell®?"

<+|TX|-Narflar> I thought he was Lawless's bitch =)
<@KK> he gets around
<@KK> LIKE VINYL ON A TURNTABLE

* suicide6x packets stikys brain
<suicide6x> Now you are dumb
<Yottabyte> too late
<Yottabyte> Packeting stiky's brain would be like packeting a
dial up connection
<Stiky> shut up
<Stiky> more like
<Stiky> 26k now
<Stiky> cause i smoked a bowl
<suicide6x> ha
<suicide6x> exploit!

<RokChik> I spent $125 on jeans, two shirts, a sweater thing,
two pairs of sox, bra, undies, earrings, bracelet, and
necklace
<sixtymhz> Rok: yeah, good job shopping.
<sixtymhz> Wish I could get all that for $125. Even bra and
panties.
<sixtymhz> Would make my Friday nights go over better.
<ShinJN> whoa
* ShinJN steps away from 60mhz
<sixtymhz> ShinJN: hater
<sixtymhz> just playing, where's ya'lls sense of humor
tonight?
<ShinJN> it's there
<ShinJN> i was joking
<sixtymhz> oh, so you wanna step closer?
<ShinJN> no

<Melissa> skinny is teh win
<Melissa> bettar than fat
<DarkShadow> true
<Melissa> nothing weirder than hearing a guys flab smack
against you while fucking
<Melissa> talk about a mood killer

<@Amitlu> errr
<@Amitlu> i mean do
<SpeedyPhoenix> do who?
<SpeedyPhoenix> >.>
<@Amitlu> -_-
* @Amitlu gives Speedy a black guy
<@Amitlu> eye*
<@Amitlu> If you quote me, I'll kill you >.<

<Packet> Reminds me of the time I was naked and tried to break
into that grade school...
<Packet> What were we talking about?

<[m1]> imagine filling a realdoll with ketchup and dropping it
from the top of a building
<[m1]> and your friend is bellow, and you seti tup so he's
standing there when the realdoll lands
<[m1]> and he start jerking off
<[m1]> and quoting Macbeth
<friar> imagine filling a realdoll full of mayonaise and
leaving it in a carpark while it all oozes out
<friar> imagine putting your cock inside teddy ruxpin so you
see the tip everytime he opens his mouth

<Threeboy> it's cause we're all infected with IRC.
<mutatedjellyfish> speak for yourself
<mutatedjellyfish> im a scientific observer of the victims of
this "IRC"
<mutatedjellyfish> me and my associates are working on
developing a cure
<Threeboy> doc, we need 55cc's of social life, STAT!
<mach_one> NOOOOOOOO!
<mach_one> get that needle away from me!
* mach_one runs back to his cave
<mutatedjellyfish> restrain him!

<aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was
roleplaying a prostitute
<Kiger> lol
<Kiger> you did that aich?
<aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
<aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head
for money

<JoeSCHM0E> i cook so badly, we pray AFTER meals

<Gartuff|VivaLasVegas> so far my record is like 10+ trips to
vegas, without ever getting married

SpOoNmAn· man, one time i had a Mr Heros roman burger...that
fuckin thing passed thry my bowels in about 5 minutes...i was
in the mall and had enuff time to run to the closest bathroom.
I was about to sit down and my ass erupted, i blew shit all
over the toilet and a guy was in the next stall....he screamed
and ran out.

·SpOoNmAn· my grandpa gave me some cayenne peppers so i could
cut some up and add it to food (I like spicy food), so i cut
some up. I then went to take a piss. About 2 minutes later, I
had a burning sensation on my penis that would make even the
mightiest men weep like a little school girl..i tore my pants
off and my penis was red and on fire. I jumped in the shower
(this is at 2am) and let the cold water hit my peter, but
alas, nothing helped.