Browse The Logs

#42094
Score: 329
<cursedgenie> damn it i have pins and needles in my foot
<Draco889> wtf did you put them in there for?
Vote:
#42089
Score: 22
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> ok if you're going to hunt fellow dorm
members to feed on, would you get a girl, fuck her then eat
her?  My friend wouldn't b/c he'd feel like she'd be tainted
<lrrl> Gotta add the cream  filling
<lrrl> everyone knows that
<XX01XX> I don't think I'd be comfortable with having sex with
something I planned on eating
<lrrl> XX01XX trust me it tastes better that way
<XX01XX> it's a perversion of the predator-prey relationship
<XX01XX> either be a sexual predator or a regular one.
<XX01XX> or at least wait 45 minutes between roles
<lrrl> how about 31 and you kill them first?
<XX01XX> oh... well, if they're already dead, that's
different... then you're just tenderizing the meat
<lrrl> now you tell me....solves all my problems then
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> he won't even do it with a condom,
says the smell would taint it
<XX01XX> (nonoxynol-9 on your steak)--
<XX01XX> if it's dead you don't even have to use the vagina...
there are probably other newly created holes to be used
Vote:
#42066
Score: 338
<Artanis> ok, nobody ever told me when its better to use
static memory
<Artanis> thats why i do everything w/ pointers
<Artanis> :-/
<Goomba> everything???
<Veldhar[GD]> everything??!
<Veldhar[GD]> heh, don't tell me
<Veldhar[GD]> you do horrible things like
<Veldhar[GD]> int *i = new int[1];
<Veldhar[GD]> for (*i=0; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't continue writing
<Veldhar[GD]> too awful
<Veldhar[GD]> my fingers are burning
<Veldhar[GD]> my eyes are bleeding
<Veldhar[GD]> agoonnnnnnnny
* Veldhar[GD] dies
Vote:
#42064
Score: 514
<MechaDragonX> it's a time of akwardness for everyone
<MechaDragonX> not yet and adult but not a child
<MechaDragonX> you all got things to work out within
yourselves and it is confusing as hell
<MechaDragonX> everyone has to do it
<MechaDragonX> besides
<MechaDragonX> any kind of relationship has complications
<MechaDragonX> humans are idiosyncratic by nature
* MechaDragonX rereads what he justwrote and realizes it
sounds like a Britney Spears song
* MechaDragonX shoots himself
* MechaDragonX relaizes he doens't have a gun and just tried
to kill himself with a ham sandwhich
Vote:
#42062
Score: 222
<Rangsk> I still remember trying to read from a floppy in
dos... with no floppy in
<Rangsk> I was always too scared to press "fail" cause I
thought it would ruin my floppy drive
<Artanis> lol
<Rangsk> so I had to scramble for a floppy
<Veldhar[GD]> lol
<Rangsk> then type a
<Veldhar[GD]> reminds me of one of my friends, a LONG time
ago, when he knew nothing at comps or so, rebooted his comp
each time he wanted to go back at C:> because he didn't knew
"cd .."
Vote:
#42060
Score: 755
<ThelegendarySCM> me and my buds lit a car on fire once- kinda
by accident
<ThelegendarySCM> but it was fun to watch the gas tank blow
up.
<Artanis> lol
<Artanis> :-)  where did this happen?
<ThelegendarySCM> we were out playing pranks on one of our
friends when we saw our principles's car- he was a TOTAL ass,
and we all hated him. Was a drop top, and the dude left the
top open. We climbed n and started fucking with the car, when
somehow the cifggarette lighter wnt itm goit red hot, fell out
and lit the floormats ablaze
<ThelegendarySCM> Never ran so fast from anything in my life.
After we got about 2 miles away we turned just in time to see
the gas tank go.
<Artanis> hahahhahaaha
<Artanis> and uhh, you never got caught?
<ThelegendarySCM> nope. No one saw us(for some wierd reason)
<Artanis> lol
<ThelegendarySCM> Man, that dude was HEATED the day after at
school. He dragged us all into the auditorium and we spent 6
hours there. I mean the whole school, in a crowded auditorium,
and he wouldnt lets us leave until someone confessed. No one
did, and when school did end the superintendent was waiting
for the principal. He was promptly fired for keepoing us in
that room for 6 hours.
<ThelegendarySCM> Talk about insult after injury.
Vote:
#42056
Score: 381
*** ROFOL is now known as AOLROCKS
<AOLROCKS> What a surprise
<AOLROCKS> Not taken
Vote:
#42037
Score: 500
<Arno^QS> Intel Inside: The world's most widely distributed
warning label
Vote:
#42034
Score: 626
<Ih8tjon> throwing a match into like, a BUCKET of gasoline
won't do anything.
<Ih8tjon> cause, you know, the liquid will actually put it out
before it can burn stuff.
<marek> m'am, i've just informed the good people at the Darwin
Awards. They promised me they'd keep an eye on you.
Vote:
#42033
Score: 314
<AutistiCat> Anyone know how to get a halogen light bulb to
fit into a halogen lamp thing?
<Ochopatas> Push on it
<AutistiCat> It has two little things sticking out and they
won't go in...
<AutistiCat> If I push any harder it'll break before it goes
in.
<Sensi> you slide it in and rotate the light. it should lock
in
<AutistiCat> It won't slide in. It's like the holes are too
small.
<Squinky> Wait until it passes adolescence.
Vote:
#42025
Score: 348
<DaGGeR> When you talk to a woman about sex it's sexual
harassment but when they talk to you about sex it's $2.99 a
minute =)
Vote:
#42020
Score: 877
<roman> skitzo, dude, when i was like 8 or something, i was on
the floor .. on my back, trying to see my asshole.. and i was
sucking air in with my asshole.. and farting it out.. when my
brother walked in on me.. and i lost control of my stomach and
a fucking turd popped out and landed on my chest
Vote:
#42009
Score: 497
<cheesewad> I want to take nunchuck lessons so when I go to
jail I can bust out with the soap on a roap and beat up all
those ass fuckers.
<Allen4> What are you going to jail for?
<cheesewad> stealing soap on a rope.
Vote:
#41974
Score: 287
<Ramza> there's this wierd kid watching everything that I type
sitting beside me
<Ramza> yes you
<Ramza> I don't see anyone else
<Ramza> go away obviously I don't want you to do this
Vote:
#41968
Score: 282
<qwerty> that girl told me its a sin to wank
<qwerty> and i deleted like 200 megs of pr0n :(
<xor|shabl> !@$N$:@NK$!K!@N
<Wanderer> muahahaha
<Kristoph> tell her you want to sin all over her face :D
Vote:
#41967
Score: 337
<Z> Long ago there were 2 kinds of cave men. The ones who
hunted and slept with the women, producing strong children.
The others hid alone in their part of the forest and made love
to crude holes they carved in trees.. The hunters evolved into
normal functioning adults of modern civilization. The others
became linux users.
Vote:
#41958
Score: 169
<@BloodNose> ooh, I could be getting cable in the next 2
months-ish
<@BloodNose> :D:DD
<@BloodNose> what's that WB  of blender's that makes some
reference to me getting cable, can anyone remember?
<@BloodNose> it's like "the day blood gets cable, I'll
<something something>"
<@sevr> "quit sucking cock"
<@sevr> keep in mind tho he never thought you'd get cable :/
Vote:
#41955
Score: 55
<Nago> i saw this sticker
<Nago> that said
<Nago> Got Jesus?
<Nago> and i was thinking
<Nago> got milk? i want a glass of jesus.
<Nago> Jesus h. christ.
<Nago> id like a glass of that.
<Venoman> frothy warm glass-o-christ
Vote:
#41949
Score: 532
<Nago> JESUS IS A COOL GUY! I BET HE LIKED PORNO!
<Pete> I bet he liked bondage
<Pete> took it too seriousley one day though....
Vote:
#41922
Score: 210
<TNK> sweden is the most wasted land in the world- so many
beautiful girls, and because it's cold there they wear too
many clothes =]
Vote:
#41903
Score: 560
<Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
<Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally
dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
<Denium> wow
<Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
<Denium> at most
<Cassy> a SHOW
<Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<Cassy> you know ....play music!?
Vote:
#41896
Score: 203
(Sober|smk) 905-847-6000fuck
(Sober|smk) er
(Sober|smk) mental note
(Sober|smk) never use irc as notepad
(Sober|smk) u will forget and hit enter :)
Vote:
#41895
Score: 414
<0oyeaho0> Hey, i have a new boyfriend.  hes so dreamy, and
i'm so in love with him.  Hes so nice and sweet.  I just adore
him.  I feel like ive known him forever.
<oaklandfoo1> where's he from?
<0oyeaho0> uh, im not sure.
Vote:
#41890
Score: 709
*** Drive_by_Banning has joined #x1
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Drive_by_Banning
*** Drive_by_Banning sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
*** Assassin was kicked by Drive_by_Banning (out!)
*** Drive_by_Banning has left #x1
Vote:
#41884
Score: 265
<Wayne-aw> 99.9% of the time, the problem lies between the
keyboard and the chair.
Vote:
#41882
Score: 351
<@Dza> you g/f's so fat her pic is ~3 megs?
Vote:
#41863
Score: 196
ยซ caffeine-killer ยป can someone help me with how to protect
your computer from mirc
Vote:
#41858
Score: 841
<Sober|wrk> heh
<Sober|wrk> lol
<Sober|wrk> my co-worker is throwing a ball
<Sober|wrk> up in the air to relieve some stress
<Sober|wrk> she just smashed it into a ceiling panel and
knocked it down on her head
Vote:
#41855
Score: 342
* +abinnie has an english essay to do before his teacher
realises the floppy disc he gave her has holes punched in the
media
<@quip> :D
<+abinnie> and is actually a dos boot disc
<@FrozenFood> lol
Vote:
#41851
Score: 707
*** joet (~joet@ilm25-44-179.ec.rr.com) has joined #javascript
<joet> hey
<Object> hey joe
<yossarian> where you going with that gun of yours?
<yossarian> hey joe, i heard you shot your woman down
<[Roosta]> shot her down to the ground?
<joet> umm huh?
<impatient> hey joe, where you gonna run to now?
<joet> I think you have me mistakened with somone else
Vote:
#41845
Score: 270
<dyno> Anyone ever gotten the error "Network Cable Unplugged"
?
<kash[]> yea it means your network cable is unpluged
<dyno> at first I thought it was because of an IRQ setting,
but we fixed that.. and I am still getting that error.
Vote:
#41825
Score: 1920
<mh_> str8 up mf i was afkin 4 a sec & that mutha goes all
stfu on me
<mh_> wtf? 4 nothin at all
* harm consults Oxford's Non-Abridged Gangsta Abbreviations
Explicator
<mh_> gtof
* harm consults harder
Vote:
#41824
Score: 368
<tigga> (_|_) (|_) (_|_) (_|) (_|_)
<tigga> thats u shakin ur (_|_)
<S4L3M> and this is you when i do it: 8=M==D 8===MD 8=M==D 8==
=MD
Vote:
#41823
Score: -75
* CHANFIX (services@services.int) has joined #asker-crew
* services.int sets mode: +o CHANFIX
* CHANFIX was kicked by A-Info (net: #asker-crew is closed)
* A-Info sets mode: +b *!*@services.int
* A-Virus (eiolfen@217.8.151.145) has left #asker-crew
* A-Virus (eiolfen@217.8.151.145) has joined #asker-crew
* CHANFIX (services@services.int) has joined #asker-crew
* services.int sets mode: +o CHANFIX
* CHANFIX sets mode: +o A-Virus
* CHANFIX (services@services.int) has left #asker-crew
Vote:
#41822
Score: 168
<gate> you're working on a degree in politics, dont call other
people retarded =P
Vote:
#41821
Score: 302
<spritegoddess> I had some kid call me up at work today
<spritegoddess> (I work at TRU)
<spritegoddess> asking me for help in Vice City
<spritegoddess> and he sounded like he was maybe...10
<spritegoddess> I don't know why he was calling the place
where he bought the game for in-game help
<Mank> Probably because his mom told him to, sprite.
<spritegoddess> "It's ok sweetie, ask the nice toys 'r us lady
about the prostitutes"
Vote:
#41820
Score: 31
<jonathans> i want to raise goats.
<@Neutral-> <3 goats and their tendency to push backwards when
on the edge of a cliff
<synth3tic> So I guess you know why you put a goat on the
endge of a cliff when you fuck it
<synth3tic> ....so he pushes back
<jonathans> 'he'
<synth3tic> yes.. 'he'
<@Neutral-> Position cock strategically
<@Neutral-> And wait for the push.
Vote:
#41814
Score: 28
<WillaCuz> i dont wanna ride solo though
<pagan> ya batman aint shit w/o robin :(
<pagan> just another nigga in an expensive car
<WillaCuz> yup
Vote:
#41803
Score: 328
<Fozie> XIRWW.
<Fozie> XJEE.
* harm reports foz to dept of anti american activities
* Fozie reports harm to the zoo, ourangutang enclosure
<harm> i got owned yet again :(
<harm> ok this is it its razorblade time for me
* harm has quit IRC
* harm has joined #Proghouse
<harm> wtf goddamn mach3 protective bars
<Fozie> haha you suck at the suicide
Vote:
#41801
Score: 288
<zerg> if you ever got pregnant would you get an abortion?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> adoption?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> keep it?
<S4L3M> of course!! i prefer to know my spawns so i can bestow
upon them all my evilness and evil ways and evil knowledge...
<S4L3M> how else will i ever rule the world? fool.
Vote:
#41797
Score: 179
<danicgross> hacking is very complex
<@Frakes> really?
<danicgross> do u hack
<@Frakes> goodness me no .....what tools would one need?
<danicgross> well
<danicgross> a computer
<danicgross> internet
<@Frakes> ah yes ......got both of those
<danicgross> and skill
<@Frakes> hmmm sadly lacking in the latter
<TheLurker> danicgross: you didn't haxor me did you
<danicgross> are u tempting me
<TheLurker> no
<danicgross> you tempting me arrentyou
<TheLurker> ok, tell you what, tell you what
<TheLurker> i have 2 hard drives, c and d
<TheLurker> on drive d tell me how many folders there are in
the root
<danicgross> just a sec
* TheLurker drums his fingers
* @Frakes accompanies with the triangle
<TheLurker> look, just give up
<TheLurker> you obviously suck at this
<TheLurker> have you, in fact, ever hacked anything apart from
your own penis?
Vote:
#41789
Score: 347
* Fireball kicks his computer.. why won't you mount the ipod?
<nica> maybe it's not interested?
<William> :^D
<nica> maybe a bit of wine and some candle light? ;)
<Puppeteer> Fire- Uhm... it's not a Mac?
<nica> KillJoy says, "maybe it's having troubles... viagra?"
<William> Show it porn of Yum, the iMac girl?
<nica> =D
* Fireball grumbles... perverts
Vote:
#41787
Score: 350
*** Joins: Pan`Da` (~WIN@p58-max1.wlg.ihug.co.nz)
<Pan`Da`> clamp the area between my asshole and testicles with
my fingers, the 'taint' as its often called, then i jerk off..
when im about to ejaculate, i can delay it for like 10 secs,
then it flies across the room.
<JoanDeArc> Pan`Da`: was that a wrong window?
<Pan`Da`> WTF??
Vote:
#41784
Score: -31
<Y2Jesus> [Clone Scanning: #pokebattle]
<Y2Jesus> 6 Match(es) Found
<Y2Jesus> LavosPhoenix: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> red13n: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> MrTest: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> Platinum: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> SirChris: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> Xantrix: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> [End of Clone Scan for: #pokebattle]
Vote:
#41781
Score: 249
<NoAzRk> So everyday I make my pb&j when I get home. One night
I wake up for a snack and go to the kitchen. Moms smeared
peanut butter and has the dog lapping.
<Argmyeye> sick! what did you do?
<NoAzRk> I made a fucking pb&j when she was done. I was
hungry.
Vote:
#41779
Score: 32
<[mN]Cracker> cept my smelly grandparents are in the kitchen
<[mN]Cracker> AND THEY SMELL SO BAD
<[mN]Cracker> THEY SMELL LIKE THEY SHOULD BE DEAD ALREADY
<[mN]Cracker> gawd
Vote:
#41771
Score: 601
<naga> 'dixy normus' won for class princess this year at our
school
<naga> at the assembly, they called her name, but she didn't
come down to take the prize
<naga> took 'em 5 minutes to figure it out
<parnbl00d> sounds sexual.
<parnbl00d> was she absent or somethin?
Vote:
#41757
Score: 46
<Arno> damn 23 meg avi
<Arno> and it's not even pr0n
<ANSi5> then why waste your time? :P
Vote:
#41756
Score: 140
<citrus-> hehe, some guy called me a few weeks ago, asking if
I would like more TV channels to watch. (Obviously selling
some cable stuff) so I said 'Yes I would' and hung up
Vote:
#41754
Score: 486
<Nark> anyone ever put a hole in your bed matress then, grease
it up alot, then stick your joint inside and begine to thust?
And then your shit got tangled in a spring and all of a sudden
you realize that this was a REALLY fucking bad idea?
Vote: