Krav: Y'know, yew can never tell how fast someone can run
until yew set them on fire...

<KeeperZ> I want to make one of those 'scare the crap out of
you' flash movies
<KeeperZ> but have the 'horrific face'
<KeeperZ> be the goatse.cx guy

<Angelz> ha
<Angelz> I did not get flooded off!
* Angelz (Angel@213.137.25.G9182=) Quit (Excess flood)

<Thought> i am about to sell the oldest disks in the world :d
<Hoopy> those 5 1/4 inch floppys moses saved the 10 command
prompts on?

tchristney: Cheating is like masturbation. Feels good while
you're doing it but once you're finished it only emphasizes
how empty and shallow your life really is.

RamAss has joined #subaru
<RamAss> subaru is for gooks and niggers
<RamAss> muahahahah
<pagan> heh well atleast my nick does not insinuate im a
homosexual :/

< zocor> anyone wanna watch a guy jerk off on cam
< zocor> oh shit... wrong channel :/
< zocor> IGNORE THAT PLEASE'

<@blkhawk^^> i dont cyber
<@blkhawk^^> its a waste of a wrist
<@Duce> are you saying you double-fist it?

[@Archmage_Anasyn]: FUCKING HELL MICROSOFT ARE GAY
[+Mr_Day]: Can a company be gay?
[+Mr_Day]: Will it only sleep with other monopolies?

<cppdog-> :\
<cppdog-> I just got raped at the park
<cppdog-> OS Uptime (WinME): 3hrs 55mins 35secs
<scotteh> after a good rape, the first thing you really wanna
do, is check yer uptime

<patchmonkey> After_8 - On the other hand, in 1995, a
schoolteacher wrote to the Washington Post and stated, "I was
told children are not to be expected to spell the following
words correctly: back, big, call, came, can day, did, dog,
down, get good, have, he, home, if, in ,is, it, like, little,
man, morning, mother, my, night, off, out, over, people, play,
ran, said, saw, she, some, soon, their, them, there, time,
two, too, up, us, very, water, we
<unstable_at-work> dog? a fscking kindergarden student can
spell dof
<Fraggy> hahahahaha @ unstable
* unstable_at-work runs and hides now

<teek> tenchi, ebay!
<_Tenchi_> bah fuck ebay
<_Tenchi_> i wouldnt buy a $9 cutlery set off of ebay
<fate-> heh, a friend of mine in London bought a chest of
drawers off of ebay, had to go pick it up by car (an hour
away)
<fate-> it sucked and wasn't of high quality like he expected,
so we took it back, and on the way smashed it up, and left it
on the guy's doorstep

*** sCHrAnZeR has joined #jungle
<sCHrAnZeR> ok is that Polish room ?
<EllesDee> you mean  this  room?
<EllesDee> yeah
<EllesDee> we're all polish
<EllesDee> but disguised cause no one likes us
<sCHrAnZeR> czemu nikt nie lubi Was ?
<sCHrAnZeR> :)
<EllesDee> DISGUISE MAN!
<EllesDee> speak english, people should think we're ordinary
<EllesDee> otherwise the undercover will blow up and we'll all
get k-lined
<sCHrAnZeR> oh I didn't know
<EllesDee> hmm..
<EllesDee> gee
<sCHrAnZeR> I'm not good in mIRC
*** sCHrAnZeR has quit IRC

<k3tty> nfi
<APULYG> Whats nfi?
<TBC> no fucking idea.
<APULYG> Well shut up then if you dont know
* TBC beats the crap out of APU for being s00pid.

<Gatsby> Glutamate to Lysine aat 487!
<Insom_BF> what I can't figure out
<Insom_BF> is how you manage to spell glutamate and lysine,
but misspell 'at'

<SvenN00B> i have a script that'll msg me and tell me when
people mention my name in rooms and stuff
<SvenN00B> so i mentioned my own name and now it's in an
endless loop telling me that SvenN00B mentioned my name and ..
yeah .. it keeps on going :P
*** SvenN00B has quit (Remote closed the connection)

<pimp^master> so u a girl or boy
<triscuit> why you want to know
<pimp^master> cuz i looking for a gf
<triscuit> ah, well I should tell you irc is not the place to
look, because there are tons of lying malicious people out
there
<triscuit> but I'm a female with large breasts

<s3ph>      ^_^              <-----<<<
<s3ph>      ^_^            <-----<<<
<s3ph>      ^_^          <-----<<<
<s3ph>      ^_^        <-----<<<
<s3ph>      O_o      <-----<<<
<s3ph>      o_O    <-----<<<
<s3ph>      O_o  <-----<<<
<s3ph>      O_O<-----<<<
<s3ph>      O_x----<<<
<s3ph>     <x_x--<<<
<s3ph>   <--x_x<<<
<s3ph> <----x_x<
<s3ph> ----<x_x
<s3ph> --<<<x_x
<s3ph> <<<  x_x
<s3ph> <    x_x
<s3ph>      x_x

Join: Mr_Shroom (~Mr_Shroom@dt032n74.san.rr.com!)
<Mr_Shroom> Good gracious.
<Mr_Shroom> My ass is bodacious.
<Mr_Shroom> I had no idea!
<Mr_Shroom> Why was I not informed of my spanktacular
backside?
<Mr_Shroom> Eh?
<Mr_Shroom> ...
<Mr_Shroom> Don't make me lay waste to your cities!
<Mr_Shroom> Fiiine.
<Mr_Shroom> You big babies.
Part: Mr_Shroom (~Mr_Shroom@dt032n74.san.rr.com)
<Coan_Arcanius> he's right, he did look good leaving

<milenko> brand new gaming pc $2500
<milenko> upgrades to play the latest games $500
<milenko> losing your girlfriend  $0  
<milenko> having a state of the art rig and spending all of
your time bumming around on irc with other losers just like
you PRICELESS

<daenonok> thats pretty funny...d4n just icqed me that there
have been like 48k quotes submitted to bash
<daenonok> and less than 10k made it in
<daenonok> that means theres 38k ppl who wasted their time
submitting crappy quotes
<daenonok> thats pretty funny

<tn> !@)#(%&#R
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for
pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or
something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and
BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> hahaha
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<tn> everything.,
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on.  try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve
claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain
a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time.  i have better
things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the
password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
<Peon> ^^

<snowdrake> no sooner do I upgrade my BIOS for >64GB support
than, by all appearances, a kernel driver appears that
supports the jumper option I disabled.
<snowdrake> but BIOS native support is probably the better
option.
<MDK> It's a feature. "Annoying Updates"
<MDK> In a 4098-bit encrypted folder in an invisible
subdirectory.
<MDK> I guessed the key by typing with two fingers.

<Shinji>  Like a couple playing catch with an aborted fetus,
atleast I caught my mistake.

<Threeboy> if you run linux you pretty much scream "IM A
VIRGIN" btw.

<ChineseElite> dirty is a fsking prono in itself
<ChineseElite> ahh shit ive been on net too long.. i just said
prono

<pandabob> Dude, you want to catch bin Laden? Open an account
in his name at Blockbuster, and don't return a few DVDs.
<pandabob> *That'll* catch Bin Laden.

<Kyou|awaying> omfg i almost had a heart attack
<Kyou|awaying> I FUCKING HATE STUPID ADS WITH SOUND >_<
<HKR|Paper> LOL
<HKR|Paper> Especially if it's a pr0n add, and your speakers
are cranked and your parents are in the room next door
<Kyou|awaying> my speakers are always cranked =
<HKR|Paper> They suddenly hear "AH AH AH!"
<HKR|Paper> "WTF IS THAT?!" they yell
<HKR|Paper> Uh...my brothers rap cd's.

<GSValore> basic VMS system I configured a moment ago from
compaq was like $33,000US
<GenmaC> haha
<GenmaC> "hmmm...get a car...get a VMS box...get a car...get a
VMS box..."

Ibekev: yeah that does, I guess you never really know until
you meet someone and I'm not trying to put any assumptions
into any of this other than I am willing to meet new people
and learn more about myself and them at the same time, I don't
think you can go out there looking for you soul mate or
whatever, it just happens but it won't happen if you're just
sitting on your couch
Keli_86: right..i completely agree with you
Ibekev: So I guess the rule of thumb is to see this as a way
to meet new friends and just see
Keli_86: you couldnt have put it any better
Ibekev: cool, so you wanna get naked and put your webcam back
on?

<Abstract> must be nice to have an employer who pays you
<lophyte> it is..
<lophyte> your employer don't pay you?
<Abstract> nah my clients suck major ass
<Abstract> and i hate them
<lophyte> lol
<Abstract> and the only thing i will ever code for them again
is a spoon so they can eat my ass

<@nik0li> SANTA MONICA, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- A woman in
Santa Monica, California, is attempting to lose weight in a
manner others may not be able to stomach -- an all-semen diet.
<@nik0li> Starting December 1, a plump porn star named Kim
Kelly hopes to lose between 10 and 20 pounds by spending 30
days on a diet consisting largely of semen -- or as she
prefers, "man juice."
<@prence_> shit, ill eat my own man-juice if it will help me
lose 30 pounds!

<Rambozo> wow
<Rambozo> the lights went out
<Rambozo> it's blacker in here than monday nights on UPN

<demonrest> anyone know of a site that would be good to find
out if there is a .net activation bypass?
<Jaykul> demonrest?
<Jaykul> you're not asking for warez HERE, are you?
<Daemon> he already got the warez
<Daemon> he needs the crack

<dokutake> i never saw the appeal of buttsex anyway
<dokutake> i mean, receiving, there's a cock up your ass, and
if you're giving, you're getting poo on your wang

<somebodyelse> The original message was received at Wed, 20
Nov 2002 21:07:42 -0600
<somebodyelse> from miaqfl-as-2-ip-6.atlantic.net
[209.208.60.37]
<somebodyelse>    ----- The following addresses had permanent
fatal errors -----
<somebodyelse> <email@domain.com>
<somebodyelse>     (reason: 550 5.7.1 <email@domain.com>...
relay attempt failed)
<somebodyelse>    ----- Transcript of session follows -----
<somebodyelse> ... while talking to mail.seekeywest.com.:
<somebodyelse> >>> RCPT To:<email@domain.com>
<somebodyelse> <<< 550 5.7.1 <email@domain.com>... relay
attempt failed
<somebodyelse> 550 5.1.1 <email@domain.com>... User unknown
<somebodyelse> why do i get that?
<dnky> because, no one would bother to email
"email@domain.com"

<@playstation201> check the device manager silly
<[TSE]SPaZED> where's that at?
<@playstation201> right click on My Computer, click
properties, then click hardware, then click device manager
.....
<[TSE]SPaZED> im still looking for my computer
<@playstation201> ok, then press and hold the windows key, and
press the pause break key
<@PSX_Cheatster> Oooo... ain't that fancy
<@playstation201> impress at my hotkey skillz PSX_Cheatster?
:-p
<@PSX_Cheatster> Not really playstation201, I don't need to
memorize silly hotkeys like that cause I'm smart enough to
find My Computer...

<@kmad> //say $calc(Sersans IQ)
<@Sersan_43> 0
<@Sersan_43> wtf

IVIasterFunk: biacksfourteen
Biax14: iviasterflunk
IVIasterFunk: funk*
IVIasterFunk: bastard
Biax14: D'oh
Biax14: My mistake ;
IVIasterFunk: my ass
Biax14: is smeely
IVIasterFunk: the l is nowhere near the l key
IVIasterFunk: u*
IVIasterFunk: fuck

<spiecq> mike my gf wanna visit canada can we stay at your
place
<Miscreant> yeah, your gf can stay at my place.
<Miscreant> we can find a hotel for you spice

<Wynn> ... I've been single for a long.. long.. long.. time
now...
<Wynn> and the ladies have been warned.
<Gothmog> (as have the men, the livestock and any particularly
animate parts of the vegetation)

<Dek> i have jackass downloaded
<Killrbyte> Dek: I downloaded JackAss.  It was actually Fight
Club.  Fucking morons.
<Dek> i was trying to download porn and got jackass....go
figure

166296586: Hello.. How are you? I hope great :-)
Lockee: hello, how are you?  i hope not another fucking
spambot
..... (some time later) .....
Lockee: aww cmon, that all you got?
Lockee: a single scripted annoying ass message?
Lockee: wait, i know
Lockee: damnit i'm stupid.....
Lockee: i just advertised this number as being active
Lockee: which means now your company can sell it to even LESS
scrupulous companies
Lockee: fuckmefuckmefuckme

<ReAc> i never alternate between wanking and typing
<ReAc> that's just unhygenic
<ReAc> unless you're typing with one hand
<Hecateh> im typing with the up strokes

(MolsonCanadian) http://www.cnn.com/2002/EDUCATION/11/20/
geography.quiz/index.html
(TheOneShamrock) 70 percent cannot find New Jersey, 49 percent
cannot find New York, 11 percent cannot find the United
States  <--- THOSE are the scary ones!
(anticimex) ROFL doesn't the US have schools?
(anticimex) Only 71% can find the pacific ocean!
(Moik) Lord save us if THAT'S the Protector of the Free World.
(Moik) "Quick, they need our help guarding freedom in
Malaysia!"
(Moik) Later in Amsterdam...
(Moik) "Malaysians sure smoke alot of hash!"

<DavidGilmour> Some people are like Slinkies... generally
useless, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble
down the stairs.

<@keoki> If he is, however, constantly harassing you, then
report it to an IRCop.
<Rogue> Report it to chanserv
<@ChanServ> Report it to me? Bleh, I am just here to aid with
channel help, and op you silly mortals.
<Rogue> ChanServ doesn't normally talk back to me, he is like
the god on IRC, i believe!
<@ChanServ> And I said, let there be services! and it was so.

<Pigsbig78> my chat up line is "awk chmod grep"
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: mine is 'omg, you whore, someone chmod
a+x your-vagina'
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: omg, you bitch! mv possessions outside;
chown %n car; chmod 600 car; echo 'int main(void) { printf
("x25sn", "haha, you bitch!!n"); }' > meep.c; gcc meep.c -o
meep; ./meep

<wormy98> naw, its one of the new plasma screens
<beretta> plasma? isnt that the stuff that the caves in alaska
shoot out?
<wormy98> no. that's lava, volcanoes, and hawaii.
<EDMundane> beretta: is there any limit to your stupidity?

<Cheez> oh ffs. how many times. they should have SO given dos
an LS command