<Shivaway> sue me im bored shitless
<mmx> eat a dick? :(
<Shivaway> no thx
<Shivaway> im on a no dick diet, i hear it goes straight to
your ass

<triky> my dad, to this day, says he was in vietnam. and i'm
like... dude... that's clinton oklahoma you were in. you
joined the airforce so you wouldn't get drafted into the army
and die
<triky> the old man then learned computer programming
<triky> and wrote the very famous program that made kentucky
fried chicken cash registers work

(Mobb-Deep) still using AO hell?
(tori_anus) no, shabbo.. it's just one of those aol shell
accounts so i can be ereet

<suebatwork> How about "want to come to my apt. to smoke a j?"
think that will work for a pickup line
<grivas> really good if your name is "j"

<The-Virus> any C programmer here :)
<wf> yea i got a C in programming class
<wf> that count?

<BradJ*hnson> OMG, I lost my mouse!
<Dilly4> Your cursor, or your entire mouse?
<BradJ*hnson> Um, both.  Isn't the cursor attached to the
bottom of the mouse?
<Dilly4> What?  Do you run your mouse around on the screen?
<BradJ*hnson> No, on the mouse pad...oh, I see.  The cursor is
the arrow, right?
<Dilly4> New to computers, eh?
<BradJ*hnson> You wouldn't believe it, but I'm actually really
good with computers
Dilly4 doesn't believe it.
<BradJ*hnson> How did you do that?  I got my mouse back!
<Dilly4> it typed "/me doesn't believe it"
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wants to make money with computers"
Dilly4 suggests that the best way for you to make money is to
sell yours.
<BradJ*hnson> Fucker.
GanGreen thinks he'll submit this lameness to Bash.
Dilly4 nods in agreement.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me wonders if this is working right on your
end.  What is Bash?"
<Dilly4> GanG, make sure you blank out his name so his family
(and future customers) don't see what a lamer he is.
<GanGreen> NP.  How about if I make it "BradJ*hnson"?
Dilly4 laughs his head off.
<BradJ*hnson> "/me goes "Just so long as no one recognizes
it...I DO sounds kinda stupid.  I'm smrat tho"
Dilly4 can't control his fits of laughter
<BradJ*hnson> smart.  you all suck hard.

* [A]LastOutlaw (_A_LastOut@142.161.86.255) has joined #script
<[A]LastOutlaw> anyone know what this means "Break: command
halted (line 1098, sonica.mrc)"
<God> something or someone cancelled the script
<[A]LastOutlaw> then how do get rid of it...
<God> stop cancelling it
<[A]LastOutlaw> k
* [A]LastOutlaw (_A_LastOut@142.161.86.255) has left #script

(http://www.yodelbank.com is the worlds first cyberbank u can
access using IRC bot commands)
*** Now talking in #yodel
<r0bb0r> right this is
<r0bb0r> a stick up
<yodel> hi r0bb0r
<r0bb0r> gimme all ur money
<r0bb0r> and no one gets hurt
* r0bb0r waves gun at all
<r0bb0r> come on then i am not joking
<yodel> here take it!
<yodel> DRAN_100.00_20031119_ShcjkX/
CTzeExE0icgZColDatsQ_F+CldGJPOQO4VKMxSnPdH6SaER w
<r0bb0r> thank u
<r0bb0r> is this your first robbery?
<yodel> yes
<r0bb0r> excellent i can claim the first IRC robbery in
history
* r0bb0r runs off

<Corrupt_> brb i gotta stir the stew
<shaan> that so sounds like he is masturbating
<shaan> done "stirring the stew" there
<Corrupt_> all stirred up
<Corrupt_> i got some all over my face

<Killrbyte> HAHAHA.  My Dad just told me that once when he was
in school he took a blank tape, recorded someone screaming
about 30 minutes into it, and put it in a tape player and
pressed Play right before the end of class.  Then he left it
there so during the next class, they suddenly hear a loud
scream in the middle of class from this damn tape player.

<Ranzer> Mish``: btw what kinda connection you on? i dont
wanna be laggin you too much ;]
<Torka> Mish`` is Mish_@andover.net * Mish
<Ranzer> and..?
<Ranzer> i dont even know what andover.net is
<paradon> Ranzer: andover.net is the "big evil corporate" that
owns slashdot, sourceforge, newsforge, freshmeat, etc, iirc.
<Ranzer> paradon: ah, so it has more bandwidth than god?
<tristan_> pretty much :>

(bi0_away) Universal Realm Enterprises, Inc. (PATHFUSION-DOM)
(bi0_away) PO Box 903
(bi0_away) Volcano
(bi0_away) HI,96785
(bi0_away) US
(bi0_away) HI
(bi0_away) lol
(bi0_away) a city called Hi
(bi0_away) "hi, welcome to hi"
(FenixTxD) Its hawaii
(FenixTxD) idiot.

<D-BOY> how is it people can possibly find japanese people
smart
<D-BOY> look at their food
<D-BOY> they can't figure out how to cook it
<D-BOY> look what they do with rice
<D-BOY> <Japanese Dude> Maybe if I roll it into a ball it will
taste better!
<D-BOY> <Chinese or Mexican Guy> I'll lightly pan fry the rice
and season it to perfection while adding in choice meats and
vegetables to create a dish in itself
<D-BOY> <Japanese Guy> I can't figure out how to start a fire.
I'll just eat my fish raw.
<D-BOY> <Chinese Guy> I'll marinate the fish in a 2:1 ratio of
egg to cornstarch and fry it to add a thick breadding. Then
coat it in a sauze of ginger, hot bean sazuce, and add
vegetables
<MM> Maybe it's just age-old tradition...?
<D-BOY> More like age-old idiocy
<D-BOY> Idiocy is inherited from generation to generation
<D-BOY> Look at Israel and Palestine

<ryda> <Skitzo> hold alt and press F+A+X for mirc fax mode
<ryda> lol im not that stupid
<milenko> nah
<milenko> you dont have to hold alt
<milenko> just press alt then type fax,  its for dccing files,
not faxing
<ryda> pressing alt f a x quits mirc, you n00b
<milenko> no it dosent
<milenko> it brings up the dcc window
*** ryda has quit IRC
<milenko> whos the n00b now?

<lech> porn and programming, what could be better
<antiuser> hmm, a real girl?
<lech> well that's the source

<zero> apparently the ceo was talking to some manager in the
hallway at work today about "change management"
<zero> except he kept on saying "management change"
<zero> i only wish they got photos of that poor managers face

[coderage] assemblers think c is a pussy language because you
use more then half the keyboard

<UPC747> do you need bitches Max?
<Max> I have man bitches
<Max> er
<Max> MANY
<Max> man, what a fucking typo
<UPC747> ROFL

<debutante> thanks orion you fucking piece of cow shit
<orion> oo cow shit
<orion> ouchers
<orion> i used to step in cow patties as a child
<orion> bare foot
<orion> and let the shit ooze between my toes
<orion> it felt wild
<orion> my dad taught me that.

<skaterboy> astro is ur video up already?
<astrOdz> http://www.skaterboy.is.gay.com:9512/~astrodz/vid/
astrodz.avi
<skaterboy> i don't see no video

<energizer> how should i tell her?
<flawed> just draw a little stick figure in photoshop then
some barb wire then another stick figure on the other side of
the wire, then put arrows pointing at each, one with "brian"
and the other with "shannon"
<flawed> doesn't have to be barb wire either, it can be a
dragon.. or a moat

<Genin> i am immortalized by the velocity my ass burgers shoot
from my anus.

<BriteNite> somebody kill me now
*  Genin hugs BN 
<BriteNite> you bastard

* BriteNite evens out gwen's ass
<Gwenllian> thank you, dear
<Genin> BriteNite: with donor tissue?

<Kilcannon> stealing builds character 
<Genin> i have soooo much character

* Genin grabs laz and sticks his thumb up his butthole
<laz> at least i cut my fingernails yesterday

<Logic_BomB> supprise your friends: put a chip bag over your
croch and cut out the bottom of the bag, undo zipper, take it
from there
<Logic_BomB> or put mouse traps inside, whatever, just dont do
both

*** Now talking in #math
<Jahidi> One time nnitro sent me a picture of himself wearing
nothing but a calculator.

Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but
I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb

<Moik> Jesus would drive a Jesus Bus from GTA.
<KatR> As God, I can say that Jesus would drive a BattleMech. 
<Moik> Jesus would drive K@R's mom like a Shriner's Mini-Car. 
<KatR> Moik, I have no mother. +Creator of all [including me] 
<Moik> Sorry, that was a typo. It should say: "Jesus would
drive K@R like a japanese schoolgirl on rollerskate heading to
bukakke class."
<Moik> The keys are like, right next to each other. 
<KatR> Of course they are. You're still wrong. K@R > Jesus. 
<Moik> Doesn't mean you wouldn't like it. 
<KatR> Moik: Methinks you're projecting again. 
<Moik> In essence, yes, that's what a man must do when
participating in bukakke. 
<Dark Shadow> that's one of the best 'come'backs I've ever
seen.

<Lacan7>Oh. My bad. I'm so used to speaking english here that
I've become a tad rusty on my stupid.

<Tirlas> I remember the dream vividly... I don't know how to
express it :-(
<Schroe> My suggestion is to use words and phrases in English
grammatical structure.

<djdan> You are a really weird d00d.
<djdan> hm.
<djdan> d00d upside-down is p00p.

<TDS> THAT MAKE NO SENSE ANYWAY. IF 50 % OF AMERICANS ARE
BELOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE, HOW CAN IT BE AVERAGE?
<SneakAtack> TDS is an idiot. half the people are below the
average and half the people are above the average. that's why
it's an average.
<Moik> >_< TDS makes the upper half possible.
<Bob_Dole> ROFL @ Moik
<SneakAtack> hehee
<SneakAtack> I feel almost bad. I should have waited for more
people to reply and then agreed with TDS.
<TDS> that was a momentary lapse. my iq has been found to be
163.
<FFVI> You forgot a decmial point, TDS
<SneakAtack> TDS: 163 with a mean of 500?

<Cowclops> wtf
<Weng> WTF
<NKD> WTF
<Weng> SOMEONE USES OS/2
*** ben6 has joined #athlon
<Cowclops> [Austy VERSION reply]: Internet Adventurer for OS/2
PM (Registered) : Version 1.50 : Get it from http://
www.inetadv.net
<NKD> HAHAHA
<Weng> I have OS/2
<NKD> I hope to god thats a fake version reply
<Weng> But I sure as fuck don't USE it
<Cowclops> I kinda hope that too
<NKD> I have OS/2
<NKD> Oh wait nm
<NKD> thats a PS/2 port

<BloodFromStone> XP probably has a button that summons local
monkeys to brutalize my isp.
<[Sl]Ashy> no, bfs
<[Sl]Ashy> I'm afraid that first the monkeys duct tape you to
a chair and taunt you, then proceed to take off your clothing,
take pictures for later blackmail, and -then- rip your ISP's
server to shreds.
<BloodFromStone> o_o
<BloodFromStone> XP is dangerous.
<[Sl]Ashy> Yes.
<Iepetus> yeah
<[Sl]Ashy> Handle with care.
<Iepetus> monkeys seem cute and all
<Iepetus> but when that happens... it's no fun
<Iepetus> ...
<Iepetus> or so I hear

<flawed> i wish they had Summary Software .. you paste in a
huge chunk of text and it gives you the gist of it :)
<flawed> then you can use some Text to Speech software to read
the summary out loud
<flawed> ah the Age of Laziness

<mikebeauc> man, there's a hot chick in the Java Lab..
<flawed> mikebeauc: go ask her "miss, are you lost?"

<The_Dude> mac is god compared to microsoft
<The_Dude> and linux is the science that disproves god's
existence

* |taint| brushes qcommand hair back, traces lips gently with
finger, staring into eyes...and then a kiss.
<|taint|> omfg wrong one!
<|taint|> =(((((
<qcommand> OMG
<Garak> LOL!!!
<|taint|> !!!!!
<Garak> ROFL!!
<|taint|> gah
<|taint|> rofl stfu =(
<qcommand> i feel strange
<Deena> eeewwwwww.......
<|taint|> rofl
<Deena> grossss.....
<|taint|> i hit the wrong one damnit!
<SCORPION> lol
<SCORPION> Q has been tainted

<DruMorgan> Anyone remember Big Bird singing the song about
the alphabet pronouncing it as one big word?
<DruMorgan> AbkaDefGiJekylmanopriqstuvixez
<MrSnazz> didn't that open up a gateway to hell or something?

Jahidi:   like 10 minutes ago i was walking down the hall and
it sounded like
that ugly freak of nature with the unibrow that
lives next door was
fucking some other dude...freaked me out
bbyhewie: really?
Jahidi:   yeah...but it must have been something
else...couldn't have been that
bbyhewie: how do you know, maybe he just happened to meet the
most pathetic
inbred dumbass cock-starved crackhead loser of all
time and they're
gonna live happily ever after.
Jahidi:   Nah, you wern't idle

<morgaSTFU> MBoffin: did you hear about the new IE hole?
<MBoffin> The one they posted the code for on BugTraq?
<Drg> i'm over the hype of the new ie hole heh.. had enough
fun backdooring the girls on my msn list.. haahahahahaHAh
<morgaSTFU> eeew
<MBoffin> Drg, backdooring girls should be discussed in
another channel, please

<xjeff> ya'll want to see how fast I can type?
<Cereus> not really
<Cereus> i'd be more interested in seeing how correctly you
can type
<xjeff> me dont know wat u tlkin bout
<xjeff> .........
<Cereus> I, don't, what, you, talking, about
<Cereus> congratulations. one word correct

<Chris_Away> On a UK keyboard the dash, the space bar and the
5 are all on the same key.
<NapkinEater> YOU LIE!!!
<Chris_Away> You5can't prove-that.

<ZeBFFd00d> oh yea, just set up my sixth CPU running
Folding@Home
<pl3x> you must be quite the ladies man

<milenko> september was much better for my downloads
<Rudeboi> i've been too busy these last few months so mine has
been down a bit
<milenko> hahaha you dont dl coz you are busy. i dont dl coz
ive got all the lesbian porn on kazaa

<kolby> dude...true story...Jacob was masturbating in our
bathroom and the light doesn't work so instead of grabbing
lotion, he lubed up his dick with ben-gay. I had to take him
to the fucking hospital. It was like a movie.
<Wes> hahahah
<kolby> yea but hey, don't make fun of him, it's been a rough
fuckin night
<Wes> Ah come on
<kolby> nah man, seriously
*** Jacob has joined #e/n
<kolby> HAHA! How's your red cock feel you fucking idiot?

<Rudeboi> winme does something that no chick will over do...
continously goes down on me...

<@PhatBob> try smoking bud with pubic hairs in it, now that
shit fucks you up
<@neotek> if you're smoking your pubic hairs, i'm PRETTY SURE
you're already fucked up.