Phut: ooh
Phut: I just had an idea
Phut: I wanna save up a lot of money...... rent a billboard,
and just simply put "www.goatse.cx" on it.  Nothing else but
that.
Phut: that would own

<@JeffRaven> I posted a question about putting a time limit on
how long someone can be logged onto win2k
<@JeffRaven> and several people from IT departments of
companies have emailed me wondering if I found an answer
<@JeffRaven> boy they'd be shocked if they found out I'm just
a unemployed college graduate trying to limit the time of my
brother on the computer

cptchris F O O: i was measureing my dick and it said 10 in, i
was happy till i realized the ruler was backwards

abcdefg (smiley@HSE-MTL-ppp75343.qc.sympatico.ca) has
joined:  #geekissues
<datacide>[@] abcdefg
<datacide>[@] your nick sucks
<Soberguy> my friend has a cousin whose name is actually abcde
<Neon[UK]>[+] lol
<Neon[UK]>[+] bored parents?
<Soberguy> when you pronounce it like she does it actually
sounds quite cool

<Nazgul> my grandma got some pictures developed, and she was
showing them to me, and said that they must have accidently
one of someone else's pictures in with hers
<Nazgul> because there was a pic of a woman and man standing
beside each other with their dog
<Nazgul> and I was looking at it, and thinking weird..then
looked in the upper right hand corner and saw a flying saucer
in the sky
<Nazgul> and was like "SHIT!"
<BloodFromStone> o_o
<BloodFromStone> Don't send them back.
<Nazgul> then flipped it over and it was a promotional
advertisement thing for "Taken" on the scifi channel
* Nazgul chuckles.

<Smerdyakov> ... based _only_ one, I mean
<Smerdyakov> s/one/alshfsafa
<Smerdyakov> s/alshfsafa/afsaagagaskhaah
<Smerdyakov> s/afsaagagaskhaah/on

<Nike> i swear, my MP3's get scratched
<Loop> probably nike
<Nike> like i got a really annoying little brother sim
wandering around my home directory

<sprawd_> how do i delete the history in konquerer?
<RichiH> the smart way of saying "i've been browsing porn at
my dad's computer"

<velco> real men use mailx *g*
<ahu> real men whistle into the cable
<movement> no, real men stand up for a 1, and lay down for a 0
<movement> and transmit it over a webcam

<White_Devil> ppl who put down other ppl from other countries
are basicly ingnorant...We are all from the human race and the
sooner ppl can put away their bias, the sooner they can be
dominated by the USA

<Rottencrotch> h0k do u have months in holland?
<hokhokk> wtf
<hokhokk> no we only have minutes
<Rottencrotch> omg
<hokhokk> its 238472893765 today

<Soulman> please note when someone says google is good for
finding pics they don't me pictures of mikey mouse. if you
catch my drift
<Kawaii_Kaitlin> Sometimes they do
<Kawaii_Kaitlin> If you catch my drift

<endura> dude "I just realized whats so kickass
<endura> my dads out of town the whole weekend 
<endura> I can walk around naked for the next 48 hours!

<Ljung> does IRC take scripts?
<Ljung> <SCRIPT language="JavaScript">
<Ljung> damn

<Deconstructor> in school, i usually go to the bathroom the
same time everyday, and noone else is there then, so i decided
to be cool one day so i sidestepped in like the doomguy with
my fakegun pointed outward, and i circle strafed right into
this other guy

<mindcrime> i er
<mindcrime> hung up with the pizza dude
<mindcrime> and i were like going to say "ah, lovely, thanks"
<mindcrime> and i er
<mindcrime> managed to say "I love you"
<mindcrime> he must think im a complete freak

<fragglet> you broke up with your boyfriend because he killed
your uptime?
<Isky> fragglet : more or less, yes

* +Onima does the robot
* Shinta-san sticks his foot out while onima dances
* Onima does not trip cause the robot does not require you to
move your feet
<+Onima> :D
<@theGrinch> lol!

<Pyke> Kinky???
<Kinky_Amore> Pyke
<Spice> lol
<Pyke> kinky!
<Kinky_Amore> pyke?
<Pyke> kinky?
<Kinky_Amore> oh pyke?
<Pyke> Oh KINKY!
<Kinky_Amore> oh pyke,,, yes
<Pyke> OH GOD KINKY!
<Kinky_Amore> u almost htere
<Pyke> ooooooooooh.....
* Pyke was kicked by rEdSaTiN (thanx for cumming)
* Kinky_Amore was kicked by rEdSaTiN (thanx for cumming too)

<+SLing> I think I have just won the award for computer
stupidity
<Gau> How's that?
<+SLing> ok
<+SLing> I just installed this disk cleanup software that I
had ran before with no problems
<+SLing> and I cleaned up a bunch of files
<+SLing> then I restarted because my internet connection was
going strange
<+SLing> my computer begins to boot and I see this "NLTDR is
mising" error
<+SLing> I had no idea what the fuck I had done so I popped in
my windows 2000 CD and ran a repair install
<+SLing> the repair went fine but when I restarted again I had
that error
<+SLing> so I'm like "Oh shit, I fucked up my computer"
<+SLing> I start freaking out
<+SLing> and then I realize
<+SLing> THERES A FUCKING UNFORMATTED FLOPPY DISK IN MY DISK
DRIVE
<+SLing> -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;

<@wangzang> HOLLY SHIST EARTHCQUAKE
<@wangzang> OMFG
<@wangzang> whoa
<@wangzang> holy fucks
<@wangzang> jeseu i'm not kididings
<@wangzang> jesus christ
<@wangzang> omg mog mgoomgmgo
< SteamedHams> it must be shaking the shit out of your
keyboard
<@wangzang> omog

(Bone_Collector) some one know password of rip server ?
mode: ([ILF]Radio) sets (+l 77)
(Bone_Collector) the password is +1 77 ?

<Rainwulf> my laptop cant play CS
<Rainwulf> that doesnt worry me though. 
<Rainwulf> cos i cant either

<DrNick668> HI EVERYBODY
<datacide> don't shout
<datacide> my head hurts
<datacide> please

<Scott> My friend Anne just... gave me some offer
<Scott> Like... an odd, odd offer
<Scott> She offered to give me five dollars if I let her blow
me.
<Luckett_X> GET YOUR COCK OUT AND THRUST IT AT HER

<Zero-Wing> i bought a game the other day and it said Win 98,
Win NT and Better... so i installed it on linux

<Mime> If you ejaculate on the moon, do you go flying
backwards?

<@sniper_cs> where do you live?
<@sniper_cs> I can burn + send it
<@sniper_cs> maybe
<bobbles> about 3 metres from adsl area
<@sniper_cs> roflmao
<@sniper_cs> ouch
<bobbles> i lived here for like 8 years
<bobbles> then they finally bring adsl
<bobbles> and it stops 3 houses away
<BenZor> hahaha

* Riven will give head for broadband
<Riven i wish someone would service my area ;-;
<Riven> .... that didn't come out right
<Riven> but now that i mention it ...

<@crikket> hrrm ima go to bed now...
<DarkSpork> 'night crikket
<tuptup> nitenite
<@crikket> na'nite all
...
<neo-kun> cya crikket
* @crikket comes back and turns off his speakers *  o.O;
<@crikket> nite nite neo
<tuptup> awww
<tuptup> i coulda beeped crikket to sleep XD

<geck`> anyone like vegtable lasagna?
<_ace> i do
<geck`> good stuff huh ace
<_ace> cept for the kind with spinach,
<geck`> unfortunately mine is frozen pr-made but its still
excellent
<geck`> esad it actually is like reg lasagna but it has a
cheese sause and may veggies
<kisama> pr made?
<kisama> hahah
<geck`> pre made snow
<geck`> like frozen
<kisama> i thought you meant
<kisama> puerto rican made

<Somebob> Apparently, I said something about some filesharing
program in the topic once.
<Staberinde> Except when it comes in contact with you fucking
idiots who use spyware infected cockshit
<Staberinde> It added a reg key which just added an annoying
"CANNOT LOAD XXX.DLL" message on start to my startup
<Staberinde> Since I had neutered it
<Staberinde> Then I removed it from my registry since that
CANNOT LOAD annoyed me.
<Somebob> I never recommended kazaa goddamnit
<Staberinde> I neuter everything I come in contact with just
to make sure it doesn't fuck me.
<Staberinde> OVER.
<Staberinde> shit

<dormando> I power my car on harvested angst

<N3xtAxchunz3r0> y'ever had to take a shit, but were already
listening to music and playing gameboy so you went in the
bathroom with your headphones and gameboy, took a shit, and
didn't come out for 2 hours cuz you still needed to catch a
friggin pikachu?
<N3xtAxchunz3r0> I have..

<Futility>  ...George Harrison? He died or something?
<Rufus>  Yeah.
<Rufus>  Throat cancer, or something
<Munin>  APPARENTLY, SEMEN IS CARCINOGENIC!

<Kingin>  What the fuck kind of settings are these?  "Please
cum in my ass"?

<Rufus>  Damn, a job at blizzard would certainly be cool
<Shinji>  nah
<Shinji>  you'd get your paycheck 7 months after you are
supposed to
<Rufus>  So true
<Rufus>  And it would be "patched" and "downgraded" by that
time
<Rufus>  Your net result would be a check for 5 bucks with
"gogogogogogoggogogo" written all over it
<Shinji>  But don't forget
<Shinji>  There'd be a dupe bug, so you could get double your
pay as much as you want
<Rufus>  You'd have to throw the check on the ground, then
pick it up and your pocketbook at the same time
<Shinji>  ... but then you'd lag trying to cross the street to
get to the bank, get hit by a bicyclist repeatedly, and die :)

<Inno[AoFoKu]> he has been connected to thier cocks by the
lips for a while

<Millenia>  Oh. And for everyone who insisted "Dungeons and
Dragons" was the worst movie ever?
<Mareg>  We were right?
<Millenia>  You are right. You are SO right. I wanted to gouge
out my own eyes.

<Shinji>  I have a riddle: What type of dog doesn't bark?
<Shinvega>  Your mom?
<Tanya>  A hotdog ^_^
<Neopanda>  my penis.
<Shinji>  The one I hit with my car yesterday!

<Shinvega>  Whether you want kids or not, eventually you're
gonna slip one past the goalie ;)

<+nPHo> no.life = this is what you have if you are looking at
this.
<smcn> haw i didn't look at it

<[smurf]> MelowRage: you are a sick, sick, sick child
<MelowRage> I know
<[smurf]> even the name MelowRage pisses me off
<[smurf]> it tears me
<MelowRage> SCORE
<[smurf]> I am seared
<MelowRage> I was hoping it would piss someone off
<[smurf]> SEARING RAGE OF MELLOWNESS
<MelowRage> what with the blatant misspelling and such
<MelowRage> It was either "MelowRage" or "MellowRag"
<[smurf]> it makes me want to flip out and listen to Jazz at
the same time
<MelowRage> I chose the former
<MelowRage> hehehe
<MelowRage> VIOLENT JAZZ MUSIC!!!
<[smurf]> STOP IT
<[smurf]> HAVE YOU EVER FLIPPED OUT TO JAZZ CORPERAL?!
<[smurf]> IT'S NOT SOMETHING A GROWN MAN SHOULD DO!
<MelowRage> like a music video of some black dude going nuts
and shoving his saxophone into a guy's eyeball
<[smurf]> ..nah
<[smurf]> that's rage
<[smurf]>mellow rage would be the Micheal Jackson video where
they get all ready to knife fight and then they just dance
with their hands together

<Pikaben> I find it eerie that Renegadellf knows that I'm
left-handed.
<Pikaben> He says that it's because I take forever to
masturbate.
<Pikaben> Then he said something about using right-hand
masturbating techniques.

<Lime> i still keep thinking youre a girl :|
<Pikaben> I wish I was :|

<UFGailorJupiter> i'm going to go cleanse myself.
<UFGailorJupiter> i'll be bathing in the sacred hentai waters.
<UFGailorJupiter> well
<UFGailorJupiter> hentai game music waters.
<Bob_McBob> So what you mean is, you're going to download some
porn and masturbate?
<UFGailorJupiter> Bob: YES!

<v-ger> it's fun to hate people online - it's like a video
game and sensitive people's feelings are like quad damage

<spil0ink> is it pronounced live or live?
<Shit_Pifter> live
<spil0ink> thanks
<Shit_Pifter> np

<Unregistered> should I wank and get food, or order and have
it come here?
<Unregistered> er walk, I mean walk

<Scire> if Milla Jovavich was sucking me off, when I came in
her mouth I'd scream, "BIG BA-DA-BOOM!"