<Spammy> shit. i just ate my brothers christmas present

<cornbread> The last time I got an SMS from a chick, it said
'i h8 u fgt.'
<cornbread> I shit you not.

Ryan : political correctness has gone too far! in the card
store i went to, the category for christmas  was labelled
"Wednesday, December 25"

<{fedom}> Dude, I am MCSE and A+, but I dont act lame like
you!
<{fedom}> I am MCSE, A+, CIW, Oracle DBA......I am sitting
here
on a dual p-Xeon 2.8Ghz, 10GB RAM, 1TB 15,000RPM ultra160 SCSI
RAID HD;
give a fucking break kid, I make more money than you ever
will.

<patti11_> anyone wanna talk to a f/10???
<Desantnik> patti11_: Of course you're one of those 10 year
olds that goes to Columbia university
*** patti11_ (Ender_@sidious.cs.columbia.edu) has left #Kids

<Wilykat> I'm so goth, I pee black stuff.
<Wilykat> My goth friends say I should go see a doctor.
<Wilykat> But they are just not goth enough to understand!

<Oreo_Boy> Wal-Mart = microsoft with groceries

<Sock_Monkee> yeah, i came out of the closet today....i went
in looking for my jacket but all that was there was a  bunch
of queers

<MickJ> FACT: FAKE TITS ARE A SIGN OF HORRIBLE SELF ESTEEM
<Turnspike> Wouldn't it be cool if they had implants with
goldfish in them

<fluffy> note to self. when scanning a portion of your
anatomy. remember the scanning software keeps that preivew
image. untill your parents go to use it.

<brainbox> Xuberant, please, check your keyboard for stuck
keys
<brainbox> you've clipped Retard-Lock or something

<ian_> kierabee, do you like when a guy puts his hand on the
back of your head and forces you down on his penis?
<hardlined> haha
<ian_> Or do you like to be more self-directed
<kierabee> have you forgotten that i'm a lesbian?
<hardlined> too much fun for a monday night.
<ian_> Cuz I've seen it both ways in the pornography movies,
<ian_> kierabee, lesbos still enjoy the dick.
<ian_> The Dick.
<hardlined> if she is a lesbian your gonna have to go the
forceful way.
<kierabee> well, that's clearly all the education that you've
had
<ian_> kierabee, the pepper spray only stung for a couple days
after I last had sex

<ian_> Speaking of shaving, I was experementing with my beard
trimmer's hair length settings so I decided to test it on my
chest hair.  Now I have a trail of missing hair going from my
crotch to my neck.  It's like you're looking from overhead at
a foreset with a trail of trees cut down.
<kierabee> your chest hair is on your crotch?
<ian_> There's no clear line of where one stops and one
begins.
<kierabee> that's a savory image
<ian_> kierabee, I can shave my ass hair and make a toupe.
<kierabee> why don't you just braid it and leave it in place?
<ian_> Can you  braid it for me?

<Kaos> Old school bling
<Kaos> If I could find one of those clock necklaces
<Kaos> I'd wear it
<Agnarth> flava flav
<steve> bling?
<steve> I'm sorry, I don't speak nigger.

*** AnimeHost used to use a script... back in the age of AOL
<@AnimeHost> a script was a mans sword back then.
<@AnimeHost> now... its a way to combat ignorant malays

<chem> IM my friend gray then
<chem> Hes got so much porn he gets popups when hes browsing
his own pc

<avat> damn, I've been playing ut too much
<avat> my cursor moved & I was gonna shoot it

*** Joins: Amnesia (ggdf@hide-49208.wc.saix.net)
<Amnesia> yo
<rawhed> yo amnesia
<rawhed> remember me? ;)

<Vuriand> Curz: Does OFP have good music?
<Curz> No. It sucks
<Curz> And it sucks very hard
<Curz> Now I'm off to suck
<Curz> Argh
<Curz> *sleep

--> nwa (~mc_ren@dsl05673a42.mich.athenet.net) has joined #
perl-fu
<nwa> OMG I just had the best shower
<nwa> I bought one of those girly gay shower sponges
<nwa> man, I'm like fuckin lickable clean
<you_suck> ...
<nwa> anyone want to prove me wrong?
<nekroplasm> wtf
--- hardlined sets ban on *!*@*.athenet.net
<-- hardlined has kicked nwa from #perl-fu (uhh.. your outta
here like a boner in sweatpants..)

<Presto> why do they even do that on websites.
<Presto> If the link above is flashing you win!
<Presto> but it seems that the link is always flashing...
<Presto> infact, I have never seen it not flash.
<Moeser> its more like "if you are a gullible user, YOURE A
WINNER!"
<Presto> pisses me off
<jenara> ive clicked it before
<jenara> turns out, you don't win
<jenara> you sell your soul
<jenara> TO THE DEVIL
<Moeser> NOOO NOT THE DEVIL!
* Moeser rips off his mouse button
<Moeser> must.... not... click...

<WoWMaN\>ah well, i'm off now
<Bart\> where to?
<WoWMaN\>some people like to call it masturbation, or jerking
off. I myself prefer: "letting the dog out"
<WoWMaN\>that way it doesn't sound all that suspicious when I
tell my mum what I'm off to do
<Bart\>sure... "Mum, I'm going to let the dogs out" and then
you go to the bathroom...
<Bart\>would seem pretty suspicious to me
<WoWMaN\>well, not to my mum
<WoWMaN\>in fact... we don't even have a dog :)

* Locke is listening to Nsync - Tearin' Up My Heart
<Locke> ...
<Locke> time to turn the plug-in off

<asdasd> spellig? excuse me asshole...I got a+ in englsih

<Svartfot> try putting some flavored tea up you mouth..same
shit different name if  you ask me
* Svartfot was kicked by Dekkon (Thank you for not discussing
the outside world, goodbye.)
<^flash> you guys kick and ban people for the most fucked up
reasons...
<hardlined> stfukthx
* McMoo sets mode: +b *!*_flash@*.bix.bellsouth.net
* ^flash was kicked by McMoo (no we don't.)
<JafoMatic> laugh

<Lakitu7> "This pokemon wears the skull of its dead mother"
<Lakitu7> Cubone is really screwed up
<Lakitu7> Why the hell would they write that into the
poke-universe? That's going to screw up some little kid
<Lakitu7> "We're sorry Johnny. Your mother didn't make it"
"Can i have her skull for a helmet?" "what?"

<Keiichi> i love having a 5-CD changer and a shitty memory
<Keiichi> it's like an endless supply of new music

<[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact
same damn thing
<[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything
works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both
of us..that's fooken strange
<AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
<AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the
eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer,
for fuck's sake."

<Valas> i think my family left me and went on vaction
<Valas> nobody has answered the phone for 3 days
<Fulmanar> lol
<Valas> and my bro hasnt been home either
<Valas> this is what they did on thanksgiving
<Valas> they all went to toronto and didnt tell me
<Valas> and came back 2 days later
<Valas> i should leave a suicide note and run away for like a
month, and come back and tell them "See how it feels you
stupid fucks"
<Fulmanar> lmao

<Nematocyst> Christ
<Nematocyst> I have you urinate
<Nematocyst> I hate to urinate
<Nematocyst> I have to urinate
<Nematocyst> fuck
<Nematocyst> the time it took me to write that I could have
peed like four times over

* Schroe enjoys the benifits of dial-up
<ZRaven> benifits?
<Schroe> In between page loads, I have time to clean various
parts of this eternally dirty house.

<Cecil> I keep on getting this error, it tells me to press
"any" key, where the fuck is the any key?
<A|LOCO> Right between the "jack" and "ass" key

<intra> I get to drop off kristin's bag... that reminds me, i
get to smell her clothes tonight before I go to bed.

<intra> I have to go to Walmart to get some deoderant. But I
thought it would be weird to buy just deoderant, so I thought
about getting some DING-DONGs or something, but then I'd be
buying DING-DONGS and DEODERANT. So I figure I might buy a
shirt, but then I'd be buying DING DONGS, DEODERANT and a
SHIRT. So I'm screwed no matter what I buy.

* LordLinus has returned.. back again ..[gone/46d 16h 43m 32s]
* LordLinus is gone.. autoaway after 15 min [cyp/lp]..
<nester> and so it begins again...

<Marlean> At a concert for the homeless they gave the homeless
CD`s instead of food. Like they could ever listen to it...
* Marlean sighs

<KungFuGrp> CABLE
<KungFuGrp> It's ALIVE!!!!!!
<KungFuGrp> the cable man didn't say anything about the warez
cds, but he kind of got mad cause of the black box plugged
into the tv
<Wilamena> haha

<falc> i now declare 'oat' to mean 'on another topic', please
update your geeky brains immediately

*** IRC -- Based on the original code written by Jarkko
Oikarinen
*** Copyright 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991 University of Oulu,
Computing Center
<Jarkko> You people have turned a cute little project I did 5
years ago INTO A TREMENDOUS WASTE OF TIME!!!  GET A LIFE!!! 
MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT!!!  You, with the bot...
have you ever kissed a woman?

<crunchyfish> Yeah, poor ZS. Shoplifting, and then getting in
trouble for shoplifting. Things are so fucking unfair
sometimes.
<Chris_A> Hey, Winona Ryder didn't lose her IRC priviledges.
<crunchyfish> Yeah, and she's not half as hot as ZS.

<Davis[half-here> http://www.tubgirl.com                
<---is that a rom site?
<@Mintzs> yes

<Kersus> we have to exchange presents at work. we had a $20
limit. So naturally
I bought 20 dollars worth of kool-aid

<mootlife> wtf
* mootlife prayers have been answered
<mootlife> bus full of hot chicks just came here
* mootlife goes outside

<Kerrick> Thank you for installing the newest in microsoft
products: Microsoft Church
<Kerrick> Error! file: pope.bmp contains corrupt data, and
cannot load
<Kerrick> Please follow these simple steps so we can customize
Microsoft Church to your liking
<Kerrick> Step 1: Which of your children would you like to be
molested? []Billy  []Michael  []Timmy
<Kerrick> Step 2: with the addition of papyal tithing is even
easier! (to continue donate 1/10 of your salary via the paypal
button)
<Kerrick> Step 3: Microsoft church will go inot full screen
mode and cannot be closed for 2 hours every Sunday []morning
[]afternoon []night
<Kerrick> Thank you for setting up microsoft church!

<Carlo> hand me the url
<S^^> it's in norwegian
<Carlo> so am I

<WimpBastard> so tired
<WimpBastard> 3am
<Buchwald> it's only 11am.  you should be wide awake
<WimpBastard> ...
<WimpBastard> wtf
<Buchwald> dude, i live in america.  our time is the correct
time.
<Buchwald> therefore, you should be awake
<WimpBastard> >:|

<jalist> im giving lin what i always give her
<jalist> my knob with a ribbon round it
<jalist> maybe one day she'll actually want it
<kuhndog> kind of a small gift dont ya think jalist?

<Danae> From the viewpoint of an uncorrupted Christian guy,
what would candles mean?
<paranoid> He wants sex.
<Iggles> sex.
<Danae> Danae will devirginized once married.
<paranoid> Devirginized? By the Devirginizer?
<paranoid> I don't know how you "pure" and "uncorrupt" people
work, he could be giving you candles to justify his guilt of
fantasizing about you when he beats off all his curbed
christian rage into a sweatsock late at night.

<@Zeth> SLing: Will you take 3 years, $2.5 million with a
$500,000 signing bonus?
<@SLing> Dude, for that much money I'd eat poop for a living

<zAim\brb> let webcam chat
<PriMa^BeLLa> let me put on sum makeup...
<PriMa^BeLLa> bfrb
<PriMa^BeLLa> brb^