CHz16: So, I was trying to figure out why I keep playing Super
Monkey Ball 2.
CHz16: Was it the puzzles? The action? The vibrant landscapes?
CHz16: And then I realized, I didn't need an excuse.
CHz16: You don't need to rationalize making monkeys encased in
clear, plastic balls fall off a level into a lake of fiery
death.
mactigerz: rofl
CHz16: I just hope the ASPCA doesn't find out.

<Kitsa> heh, you want to see something funny, closed-caption
the news.
<Kitsa> "twenty people were taken to the emergency room after
touching debris"
<Kitsa> translates to
<Kitsa> "twently people were taken to emerge in see room after
touching the brie."
<Kitsa> the deaf must think we're insane.

<adm> i should run for office
<adm> and my slogan will be this
<adm> "I DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS! :D"
<adm> with the smiley and everything
<ryu829> hey i cant log in through mirc
<adm> I DON'T CARE! :D

<meb> you never typo with dovakr

<GC> What does NASA stand for?
<GC> Need Another Seven Astronauts

<crunchyfish> The space shuttle Columbia walks into a bar and
the bartender says, "Hey, why do you look so down?" The
shuttle says, "Oh, I just broke up with my crew."

<_mrT> hahah mate said baout the quote:
<_mrT> "how can it go -5? there arent any niggers mentioned.."
<doggie^> hah

*** Quits: Columbia (Connection reset by atmosphere)

<+AnimeFreak> X-Bahamut, did i have a fag count of 31?
<+AnimeFreak> err
<+AnimeFreak> frag
<@Tenchi> I'm sure your fag count is much higher.

(doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or something
(slippy): me too
(slippy): i bought 5 internets the other day

<PACHUKA> I'm exempt from draft
<PACHUKA> W00T
<TonyD> PACHUKA: cuz you're borderline retarded?
<PACHUKA> tonyd: no, because I'm unfing your mother, they
don't take charity workers

<Focusyn> hmm there are chicks on my floor named Johnnie,
Scott and Brett
<@SJr|Tecra> tell them that after the operations they are
suppose to pick girls names.

<novalis> How many surrealists does it take to change a
lightbulb?
<novalis> Two. One to hold the giraffe, and another to fill
the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

<bad_carpet> false alarm
<bad_carpet> My uncle wouldn't care if I was IRCing
<bad_carpet> I'm just embarrased.
<bad_carpet> to be found doing so
<bad_carpet> Imagine what they'd think if they knew a 25 year
old man calling himself bad_carpet was talking to a 19 year
old man calling himself, 'muffin'

<Huge_Spatula> I wanted to submit a mistake from "The Man in
the Iron Mask" to www.moviemistakes.com that said, "Watch the
scenes that feature Leanardo Dicapprio carefully. He can't
act."

<IanJ> so I got on the elevator here to come up to my room and
these girls were in there and they were like "You know, you
live on our floor but we never get to see you!" and I'm
like... "Duh... uhm... yeah... uhh.... well I don't know you
guys..." and then there was an awkward silence. but when we
got back to my floor I pulled out my electric guitar and
started wailing on it. and they accepted me. and I am now the
king of earth.
<ElCarpeto> Ian masters tribal ethics.
<IanJ> the real ending to that little story is a lot more
depressing.

<Sh0t> i have bumps among my pubes
<Dirge> Sh0t: those are testacles

<^catalyst> we're a bunch of geeks, we collectively know
everything.
<WhiteyFord> yeah.. some of us even know how to get laid
<Redback> im sure a large majority know how WhiteyFord
<Redback> its just some strugle with the prerequsites

<ChompyGator> every time you tell a lie, it makes the baby
Jesus cry..
<Flirbnic> But Jesus isn't a baby any more
<Flirbnic> He's a corpse
<Oberfeldwebel> OMG HE DIED?!?!?!!?
<Oberfeldwebel> My thoughts and prayors go out to the christ
fammily.

<grem> i even told my engrish teacher my dog ate my homework
so i was forced to gut it
<grem> but it was half digested so she owed me a dog

<zamros> WHEN I SAW IT I WANTED TO SHIT MY PANTS
<zamros> THEN I REALIZED I WAS ON THE TOILET
<zamros> SO I JUST SHIT RIGHT THERE

<deathscout> did she like its size?
<Medic911> not at first. It grew on her

<Ig[AtWork]> For your pleasure...bad quotes:
<Ig[AtWork]> Hec-1: I got the japanese version of the bang bus
<Ig[AtWork]> Last_blade: lol
<Ig[AtWork]> Last_blade: I bet the japanese version of bang
bus is called... "SUPER FUN RALLY BANG BUS GO GO GO!!! Make
Happy strange girl!"

<chojin> i love reading the bottom quotes on bash.org
<chojin> they're so funny
<chojin> i mean, even niggers know they're funny
<djay_> !
<chojin> well, they would, if they could read the quotes
<chojin> dumb niggers

<slinky> i ordered a pizza
<slinky> the pizza guy came and brought the pizza, he said:
"there was no address, but i figured it was for you"
<slinky> maybe i order too regularly or something
<thokky> slinky heh
<_mrT> slinky i ordered pizza on the weekend
<thokky> sounds a bit like mrT
<_mrT> and pizza service boss himself dleivered it
<_mrT> and started smalltalk..
<_mrT> "you havent ordered in quite some time.."
<_mrT> me: "i was on holidays"
<_mrT> "oh where did you go to?"
<_mrT> etc for 5mins
<_mrT> i was like WTF heh
<thokky> _mrT you are the one what makes their business
profitable
<thokky> heh
<slinky> good customer relations :)
<_mrT> hehe
<slinky> it's probably a cover for mafia to wash money
<thokky> "hey i heard mrT moved into city, theres market for
pizza delivery place"
<slinky> so now you're friends with the Family :)
<thokky> yeah
<thokky> and they start to call you Nicky Foureye
<slinky> i think i definitely should not eat so much pizza
<thokky> or Fat-Tony
<slinky> haha
<slinky> Squeaky-Vinnie
<thokky> hehe yea

Kit-Fox> YAY! i found some food!
elroy{K}> yay! kill it!

<Way> its all the same to you tho
<Way> u just stick it in his ass anyways ..
<Way> boy or girl
<Hiro> true
<Hiro> but with girls you can go front then flip over and
pretend its a boy
<Hiro> double the fun
<Hiro> and boys squirm too much
<Hiro> Imean I want a bit of a fight but not while IM
concentrating

<+MegamanX2K> They shoulda advertised UT03 at the super bowl
<@Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
<+MegamanX2K> who needs Football when you have BOMBING RUN!
<+MegamanX2K> <Jerry_Rice> YOU BLEED BETTER THAN YOU PUNT!
<Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
<MegamanX2K> with all the interceptions Tampa Bay made, John
Madden shoulda yelled out "RrrrrrrrrrrrrRAMPAGE!"

<D3adlode> I was a mistake you jackass
<Quasar> We all got birth certificates, d3 got an apology
letter from durex

<Thermy> CE is both a pain and a pleasure to work with, like
sex with a teenager
<tom> you can only make jokes about sex with teenagers if you
arent fucking one i think
<Thermy> who made those rules?
<Hocho> jesus, lord of atlantis
<Eskimo> that guy owes me five bucks

<boster> what is a good crapy digital camera
<ares> the oxymoron 500

<tinker> ok i can't do my man right... i try to man man and it
don't work i mean i installed from rpm by tar -RPM package.bz2
can anyone help it just crashes and says stuff to me
<soroh6> haha
<Threed> for help on doing your man, try gaysRus.com
<soroh6> he can't do his man right

*** Rossy is now known as Rossy|Married
<Rossy|Married> ullo
<StoneColdSpider> u poor bastard Rossy
<Rossy|Married> thanx StoneColdSpider I still see you must be
having a successful relationship with you PC
<StoneColdSpider> oh i am indeed we are expecing a palm pilot
anyday now

( LiNKz )  I need to grab a good copy of Win2k server
( SpiritMaster )  my friend had it but during installation it
scared him so he installed win me again

<wip3out|isthekeymaster>fuck, i knew it... the one time I
wanted pizza and it happens to be super bowl sunday, and now
PapaJohns.com is getting DOSed by fat football fans.

<bytraper> what network does kazaa run on?
<OpsuPup> the internet

<[bM]DrFunk-404-> i talked for 4 hours, to my anti-drug
girlfriend
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> stoned off my ass
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> she didnt suspect nothing
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like "everyone here is wasted and
toasted"
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> she is like You arent i hope
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like Nope!
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> oh man, i should be an actor
<LoZel> no you shouldnt
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> yes
<LoZel> no dude you cant even make text beleivable

<[Basil]Ruger> WHO IN THE FUCK USED MY CUM CLEAN UP RAG AS A
GODDAMNED OIL RAG?
<[Basil]Ruger> FUCKING NASTY SHIT
<[Basil]Ruger> NOW I HAVE A NIGGER DICK
* [Basil]Ruger screams loudly

<Raekwon> Matrix 2: "Hey Neo, let's go for a walk" **CRAZY
MATRIX MUSIC** camera angles all over the place, approx time
to walk one block 25 minutes
<BlurryMystr> haha, well yeah. It's the Matrix.
<BlurryMystr> Nothing ever happens plainly in the Matrix.
<Tituba> tying shoes
<Raekwon> just like The Bible
<Tituba> breathing
<Teegus> "Neo! walk the dog" *Kung foo dog shitting action*
<BlurryMystr> Neo: "Boy, this burger looks good."  *agents
leap up, try to steal the burger, Neo has to fight them off
while eating fries*
<Teegus> neo dodges fries leaving onion ring trails
<Tituba> after he finishes killing them all he mutters "now
that's done my way"

<AL9000> I'm gonna make my girlfriend a valentine with the
goatse man on it, and it will have a caption that reads "I
love you thiiisss much!"

Number 3 Rugger: bitch fuck 1080
onkeybutt87: is that a skateboard trick?

<CheeseSteakJim> i like porn because it doesnt laugh at my
penis

<Karate|Superbowl> i hate on football they always assume u
know all the colors and which team name and team city they go
with :|
<Karate|Superbowl> cuz for scores tehy just show like a pic
and the number
<@Azhrarn> I hate on football how they always have like 10-15
minutes of crap in between all the good commercials

<Sil> WHY CAN'T I BE DEPRESSED ON MY OWN?! Everyone else gets
depressed and pissy when i'm down......grrr......
<Elfasi> The key to being depressed on your own, is to go away
and be alone and not tell anyone about it :)

<lude> Are they streaming the superbowl anywhere?
<@WinX> yes.
<@WinX> http://your-fucking-tv/

<viro|work> i remember my birth
<viro|work> it sucked :(
<regener8ed> i remember your conception
<regener8ed> it rocked

<danamania> pfft. exploding batteries. once again a PC
manufacturer copies something apple was doing YEARS ago

(@Noodles`) i got my cdkey from a ebay photo of somebody
selling q3

<eddy> when the nurse was trying to guess how many units of
alcohol I drank a week it was like playing higher or lower

<Aegis> You know what's REALLY freaky about the game Black &
White?
<Aegis> When you're helping these guys in the beginning build
their boat...
<Aegis> They want meat to eat along the way, right? No
problem.
<Aegis> Well...when you give a sheep to them they're like
"Oooh, a sheep. Sheep have many uses...thank you."
<Aegis> Makes me wonder...