<shok> what is the average life expectancy of a Saddam look
alike ?

<Cotton Mouth> How do you describe the color blue to someone
who is blind and has never seen a color before?
<NickBlasta> 0 0 255

<Leon> lol @ The Register
<Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy
<Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now

<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded
man to death.
<Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
<Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill
retards (/sarcasm)
<Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.

<WorstQEvr> buying douches over the internet is like the
epitome of shady

Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but
she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read
what she said there and typed back to her what i would have
said
Brandon2W: i need therapy

<ocelot> I've lost my only spoon
<ocelot> how do you lose ANYTHING in a 11,4 square feet
room???!?!
<Adam_H> ocelot: there is no spoon

<chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98
<xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA

<Bugaboo> So I was in the halls today, some jerk yells "I
wanna fuck your dad"
<Bugaboo> I shout back "hes dead"
<Bugaboo> moment of ackward silence, as they think of what to
do
<Bugaboo> It made up for all the grief I had at killing the
old guy.

<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one
had a brain D:
<samurai> bush has a brain
<samurai> its just really really small
<V|JFreak> dude
<V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....

«TheCulter» guys: two people, /nick and /quit are on a boat. /
nick falls off the boat. who's left on the boat?
(@Makenshi`) /quit
(@Makenshi`) duh

<Uday_Williams> Know what'd be messed up?  If one of Saddam's
doubles turned good, and then was appointed to run the
country.  Bet that'd confuse alot of people.

<cali310> I heard the most ridiculous comment ever made by a
newscaster last night on fox........
<cali310> He said, "the Iraqis have hundreds of seasoned
suicide bombers"
<cali310> How in the fuck does one become a seasoned suicide
bomber?

<Resident_Redneck> The Canadians commited three warships, 1000
soldiers, and 10 tanks to the war effort...but due to the
exchange rate, it works out to be a mountie, a moose, and a
flying sqirrel.

<n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat'
in the title
<n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway

<Dynamo> Do that again, and I will switch your testicles with
your eyes.

<CodeMason> I never sleep.
<CodeMason> I just lapse into alcohol-induced catatonia on a
regular basis.

<Snow> If Grand Theft Auto isn't mankind's greatest invention,
I don't know what is.
<Snow> I just flew around the city in an Apache attack
helicopter firing missiles and random cars. And when I got
bored of that, I stole some guys motorcycle, rode 120mph
across town to a nightclub, where I picked up $10,000, walked
inside, and fired a minigun into the crowd, liquifying
everyone inside.
<Snow> And then I picked up a new suit and went home and
called it a day.
<dano> i love how accurate its portrayal of the 1980s
night-life is

<[KS]> this one time... at lan camp.. i stuck cat5 up my pussy

<Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here
<Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing
<Afbc0m> my mom was pissed
<Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please,
get down on yo knees"

<timmo> tim would rather fuck a woman who doesnt know what the
hell irc is
<c-rOCK> fuck that
<c-rOCK> i want a hottie who can irc it up.
<c-rOCK> and i wanna be like
<c-rOCK> yeah im a mod on bash.org
<c-rOCK> hop on my dick now slut.

<Enchi|ada> Martin Luther King is a holiday because it is
symbolic of the propensity of black people's laziness and
unwillingness to work.

<Jeff> I'm such a ditz, I dialed my phone number into the
microwave

<ksennin> "Do the girls have to shave their asses?"
<ksennin> [x] Yes
<ksennin> [ ] Yes
<FT> ksennin: Your definition of 'great' tends to be weird.
<TripleRach> Shave, what
<FT> Try "Shake"
<ksennin> Oh shit.
<ksennin> Yes, "Shake"

<Dirtbiker> howd all of u learn how to do this crap?
<@nomis> hit f1
<@nomis> frequently
<Dirtbiker> in here?
<@nomis> in flash
<Dirtbiker> but thats the shortcut to help

<NuclearisWinterius> "Without the USA there would be no
France, just a greater Germany" and the guest on the show said
"Without France, there would be no USA, just a greater
England"
<Method> hurray for france!
<Method> without england, there'd be no USA, just a really big
canada where they all spoke french.
<Method> i don't know what's worse
<ari> Without Finland, there would be no IRC and this
pointless discussion would not be taking place :p

<pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm
abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.

<[TMBJ]Harrison> I love bash.org.  All I have to do to be
funny is copy/paste. :)

<SJr|Tecra> I'd shit my pants if my girlfriend said she was
pregnant.
<robb> i'd shit my pants if you had a girlfriend

* freebs is playing [ Fiddler On The Roof - If I Were A Rich
Man ] ¤ M[X]S
<aNuBiS-> lol
<freebs> i'm very eclectic
<freebs> well if it's spelt right
<aNuBiS-> that fancy speak for, gay?

<LinkDJ> At prom, me and Julea were dancing, and a song came
on that I recognised. We're dancing, and halfway through I get
a big smile on my face.
<LinkDJ> It turns out it was a song from DDR.
<LinkDJ> I think i've told that much here before
<LinkDJ> What I didn't mention: I started doing finger
combinations on her ass.

<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now
<Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the
other half of the channel
<Petter[web]> I resent that.
<Queued> I understand.

Soca: God damn fucking neighbors and their dog need to die
Soca: I just tore up my front lawn with my truck trying to
piss them off.  I hope it worked.
drnick: you tore up your own lawn trying to piss of the
neighbours
drnick: hmm wheres the logic in that
Soca: Well, I made a lot of noise in the process
Deltan: Yea the joke's really on them with that one

<Arrgh> great.. now he's trying to vomit in my shoe
* [TMBJ]Rhadamanthus happydances
<Arrgh> he called it a "vomit capture device"
<[TMBJ]Rhadamanthus> Throw something at him
<Arrgh> like what? my shoe?!
<Arrgh> HE ALREADY HAS IT

* inkedmn is BORED
< jbm> inkedmn: drink beers. fuck wife.
< inkedmn> jbm: no beer/money, wife's at work
< jbm> uh. got any pets?

<CommanderStab> Man, all of these supposed "free PHP hosting"
sites and not one of them is any good >_<
<CommanderStab> WTF?
<Riku> o.o
<CommanderStab> Hungarian?!
<CommanderStab> These guys actually have INTERNET?!
<CommanderStab> Man, I can't read this shit >_<
<CommanderStab> I have the greatest idea for a site
<CommanderStab> Say that we ofer 1000mb of fre PHP hosting
<CommanderStab> Then when they submit their information we
keep their password and username and don't give them a site
<CommanderStab> Then we build a massive database of usernames
and poasswords
<CommanderStab> Then we create a program to goes to every site
on the itnernet that requires a password and get it to try all
of the user/passes we have on every site
<CommanderStab> Then we blackmail the people because no doubt
some of the sites are like sick porn sites and we'll have
their email addresses
<CommanderStab> And we use the money that we get out of the
blackmail to actually BUY some decent hosting
<CommanderStab> So I don't have to keep looking through all
this shit

<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the
Kleenex I have in a pile by now.
<CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no
provisions for people made of Kleenex.

<Dr SpaZZo> A Reese's Peanut Butter Puff going directly down
your throat is a LOT more painful than one might imagine.
TwilightKnight jots that down
<TwilightKnight> thanks
<Dr SpaZZo> No problem.

<+{R3D}Hurricane> Fly Delta. Cause everyone else is bankrupt.

<Squinky> Where the hell is sumez.
<Jim> Using an anonymous vagina, as are most Danish guys.
<Squinky> Do they not have VD there or something?
<Jim> They are VD.
<Squinky> So it's really Danish guys ravaging my penis right
now?
<Jim> Most likely...Did you stick it into a Danish girl?
<Squinky> I think I used a breakfast danish to masturbate the
other day...
<Jim> Pff, obviously that's what it is.
<Jim> You're supposed to use AMERICAN pie.

<Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my
moms a dental assistant
<Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
<Acero> thats how i got so good at it

GGamoGamo: The unofficial newspaper of the college my friend
went to was investigated by the Secret Service once
Wintyr Feanim: why?
GGamoGamo: For printing an editorial called "Jesus, please
strike down Geroge W. Bush"

<Desert_Storm> crap..
<Desert_Storm> just woke up in front of PC again :(

<][blah][> i mean, are there any downloadble cd burners?, or
do you need hardware?

<revmoo> well
<revmoo> msg nexis
<revmoo> maybe he is one of those nerds that has his shit set
to wake him up in the middle of the night if someone pm's him
:P
<Geoff-> LOL
<Geoff-> hey
<Geoff-> i used to have that

<morn> I'm gonna be a pimp, yo! It'll be off da hizzle
fashizzle, knowwhatimsayin'?
<Gabe> It's sad when white people try to talk like black inner
city people. It's doubly sad when those white people are
European. :P
<morn> Now, don't be hatin'!

[@cOoke]: If there were a building that stood for average
intelligence, you would be the plane that crashed into it

<darkpact> like i said man, stop smoking pot
<darkpact> it's not good for your braincell :|
<StarScythe> but its good for mah wellbeing
<StarScythe> and i meakes me spel so darnn kool
<darkpact> StarScythe, you should see a doctor ;(
<Kronck> lol
<StarScythe> yeahh dark maybe he can prescribe som good piils
4 me so  i can get even more wasted ::D:D:DD:

<Stugein> Headline:
<Stugein> Headless body in garbage bag discovered near Devil's
Slide
<Stugein> First line of article:
<Stugein> The San Mateo County Sheriffs Office is treating
Sundays gruesome discovery of a headless body as a homocide.
<Stugein> AS OPPOSED TO WHAT?!

<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General
Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy
scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As
follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are
you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing,
canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible,
isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly
supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly
dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them
proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become
violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute,
but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love
the Marines!