<VashTS> im going to make a pop up that provides for them all,
" DO YOU NEED CREDIT , OR A LARGE PENIS , OR BIGGER BUST SIZE
, OR A LOAN ,,, WELL THEN CLICK THIS LINK TO BRING UP 900 MORE
POP UPS AND FORMS TO FILL OUT WHICH WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING
CUS YOU HAVE NO MONEY , A SMALL PENIS , NO BOOBS , AND NO ONE
IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE YOU MONEY , OR DATE YOU , OR
ANYTHING , CUS YOUR A NERD , A FUCKIN COMPUTER NERD , SO
IGNORE THIS AND CLICK THE X"

<Fr0d0> Just imagin what wars would be like if instead of
battle hardend soldiers, they used nerds and geeks.
<H4ndalfTehGh3y> "D00d! j00 sh0tz0r m333!11!11 Wut r u?!?!? 4
FFFFAAAAGGG?!!!?!"

(Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they
like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of
the world is here?
(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs
off their leashes again at the blind school

(@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
(@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
(@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about
that
(@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the
switch ?
(+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch
with my linux box
(@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the
windows machine you are on now ?
(+Andross): yeah

<EL3CTRO> 1 for me, 2 for bob
* EL3CTRO pours beer into his computer case
* EL3CTRO hears a bang
* EL3CTRO (EL3CTRO@xnet-10E67154.glfd.cable.ntl.com) Quit
(Killed (Zaphod (Connection reset by beer)))

<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a
pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to
control the actions of mortals?

<jomamaugly14> i cant get on irc!@!!!
<jomamaugly14> im banned
<Xenon> you *are* on irc !!!

<DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
<DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything

<eps> i never thought i would jack off to richard simons
<denver> jesus
<denver> you jack off to richard simons?
<Ch0p> thats sick...

<indigo> redhat has become a thing of its own, apart from
linux
<indigo> it's the entropy of linux combined with the
uselessness of a corporate product

<lagmagnet> I forgot I downloaded the best of the 70s disco
* lagmagnet burns out to cd to listen on the train tomorrow
<BBQ_69> "best of 70s disco"  dude, you got ripped.. there is
no such thing!
<lagmagnet> hah fuck off :) 70s disco rocks :)
<BBQ_69> yeah, but then you run out of cocaine
<lagmagnet> true
<lagmagnet> :(

<Cross> Oh, wow. Old school papers.
<Cross> This one was on 'alternative energy sources'. This is
from near the end, when I was really too tired to be writing:
<Cross> "Wind energy is a method of collecting power from the
blowing of the wind. Not only is this a clean and renewable
energy source, but it can actually displace excess Carbon
Dioxide in an area. Problems behind wind energy also exist. It
is not available in many areas, and requires a lot of money to
build. The wind turbines can also interfere with television
and radio signals and cause noise pollution. Also, birds can
fly into the rotors."
<Cross> "Then they have to send the janitor Steve out to clean
the thing, and it just ruins his day. Then he goes home and
beats his kids. So if you support wind energy, you support
domestic violence."
<Cross> That's when you know you're tired.
<Herring> That is awesome.

<Zibro> geez
<Zibro> these posters are dumb
<Zibro> it's all just cars
<Zibro> and women

AyaMonhu: http://women.kde.org/
AyaMonhu: :D
roovis: wtf?!
roovis: oh SHEESH
AyaMonhu: LOL
roovis: kde for women.
roovis: is it strong enough for a man but php balanced for a
woman?

<cruunch> i dont believe this
<cruunch> im tryin to phone sex this girl, the one i didnt go
to poker night with cause im poor
<cruunch> and i heard her roomate ask her who she was talkin
too
<cruunch> and she said
<cruunch> 'tripod'
<cruunch> i fucking kid you not
<cruunch> ego++
<Sean-> dude
<Sean-> just, no
<Biny> no!
<cruunch> ohhhh yaaaa!
<cruunch> hehe
<CeNo65> did you tell her thats not your name .. its just the
website that hosts your pics?

<UGA|CE|UaH> STOP CLALING ME BY TAG

<R36613> how is everyone tonight? Aside from being dead of
course
<Zealot-X> Yep, aside from that, I'm just peachy.
<R36613> lol
<Zealot-X> A little stiff, from rigor mortis and all.
<R36613> O.o
<Zealot-X> Erm wait.. that came out wrong..
<Calren> I'm hungry and needy and want Freelancer to let me
blow up a freaking starbase
<Olanis> mmm rigor mortis
<R36613> don't try to type too fast your fingers will fall off
<R36613> they'll go snap crackle and pop
<Zealot-X> Yeah.. better not accidentally look at porn..
something else may fall off.

·FightinCatholic· When i realized the sims had a better life
than me
·FightinCatholic· I quit

<Ten> My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to
scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell
them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

<[Ci]XeneX> Hahahahaha.
<[Ci]XeneX> I forgot my password for my Barrysworld Subscriber
Private FTP access, and it says I have to answer the secret
question..
<Lenin> What's the secret question?
<[Ci]XeneX> Password Reminder Question: What is my password
for this site?

<Sumezworking> I hate people who let their kids run around
naked on the beach..
<Squinky> I know, it's hard to hide an erection in swimming
trunks

<spaceDAISY> these american measurement standards are on
crank.
<spaceDAISY> what the hell is a jigger?
<r> jewish nigger

<SurveySays--Food> So I bought a Kobe Bryant jersey the other
day.
<SurveySays--Food> Cost me twenty-five bucks for the black
one.
<SurveySays--Food> I asked the cashier if it was the "Buy me,
I'm a rapist" sale.
<SurveySays--Food> She was not amused.

<xanesly> my husband and I felt stupid standing in the yard
with dog saying "go potty! time to go potty!" in that dorky
voice you use to talk to dogs and babies
<xanesly> (and some foreigners)
<xanesly> so we decided to use STDOUT instead
<fwoom> rofl
<xanesly> so we stand outside chirping "standardout!
standardout!"
<xanesly> which has made it that whenever *we* need to go to
the bathroom we refer to it as STDOUT
<xanesly> and when the dog has an accident, STDERR
<xanesly> sometimes I make myself sad.

<f3nce> did you hear that marvin gaye was shot by his father?
+[8|:
<wayfinder> some parents cant deal with their kids being gaye

<@olly> turns out my modem is broken
<@olly> thats why it didn't work in france
<@Beatnik> OUCH
<@jon^> it's that cheap french electricity they use to power
their phone system
< Demonen> Yeah.  You can only get really good
phone-electricity in the states.
<@jon^> it is very high in fat though
<@jon^> i woudl recommend british electricity but it's a bit
expensive and it rusts

<axelgreese> "for every good quote on bash.org there's 50
blindingly horriable ones" - Ice cube

<Lethalmartini> tawnee stone rocks
<Lethalmartini> shes like, our age
<bobrooney> never heard of her
<Lethalmartini> shes this girl from texas whos 18 and knows
how to do what a woman does best
<bobrooney> laundry?

<-{br}Huer{d}> My Linux box has 72 pin simms
<-{br}Huer{d}> no wondre I only put in 48 mb
<RuneStar> wow
<-{br}Huer{d}> what do I do para?
<RuneStar> thats fucking amazing
<RuneStar> oh shit
<Para@Work> put more in?
<RuneStar> what do you do now
<RuneStar> you computer fucking nerd
<-{br}Huer{d}> I cant.. all bays are loaded
<RuneStar> shit
<RuneStar> they are
<RuneStar> thats fucked
<Para@Work> put bigger modules in?
<RuneStar> ahh
<RuneStar> of course
<Para@Work> kinda like RS likes to do with his anus

<Lethalmartini> i always worry im too pale but then i think of
british people and i cheer up
<Pandilex> I don't understand the facination with lying under
the sun burning yourself
<Lethalmartini> neither do i, but anything to increase the
odds of having sex
<Pandilex> spray-on-tan
<Pandilex> failing that, money and power

<Dabz> I'm currently sat outside in the garden on a laptop, in
85 degree heat, in the shade, with a cold beer.   If I lost
the laptop I could almost pass as a normal person

<Crono> Meh, I don't have a pound key...
<Crono> Where the hell is my character map...
<gabriel> £ick me.
<gabriel> Alt 0163
<gabriel> Charmap is under "System Tools" in 98
<gabriel> in 3.1, I think it's in accessories
<Crono> WinME
<gabriel> Oh, don't click it, your computer will explode.

<ReDy[CPH]> i remember once upon a time when i had dailup, i
still remember the nightmares that modem brought, the times i
just sat and stared at the screen downloading a 10 mb demo and
the download time said 250hr 56m 16s download time increasing
instead of decreasing, the frustration of never being able to
open a homepage whitout waiting an hour, these things, 56kbit,
it was this that made me who i am today a crazy leecher!
<Razor2k3> i refuse to read all that
<Cloud02> i remember once upon a time when i had dailup
<Cloud02> i still remember the nightmares that modem brought
<Razor2k3> nice
<Cloud02> the times i just sat and stared at the screen
downloading a 10 mb demo and the download time said 250hr 56m
16s download time increasing instead of decreasing
<Razor2k3> go on
<Cloud02> the frustration of never being able to open a
homepage whitout waiting an hour
<Cloud02> these things, 56kbit
<Cloud02> it was this that made me who i am today a crazy
leecher!
<Razor2k3> ty

<Goomba> ford?
<fordprefect> wot?
<Goomba> nothing
<kopo|cool`n`icy> lol
<kopo|cool`n`icy> i used to do that with my friends
<Herr-Statto> until they got pissed off
<kopo|cool`n`icy> yeah
<kopo|cool`n`icy> now, i have no one left :(
<kopo|cool`n`icy> exept you guys
* kopo|cool`n`icy hangs himself
<Goomba> good
<kopo|cool`n`icy> i'm dead, cant hear you
<Goomba> good

[quit:#] moodlet (Connection reset by peer)
<moodlet> thou shalt not unplug the hub to plug in one's
hairdryer

(lithrye) I'm experiencing an annoying problem.
(lithrye) hlds is killing my ISP's router.
(Silicon) and how exactly do they say it's doing that
(lithrye) it's causing it to drop packets.
(Silicon) what are they using Fischer Price, My first router?

<andy> I wish I worked 22/7, then I could say I worked the pi
shift.

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a
phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz,
just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z
box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and
wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd
appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever,
4m3n.

<@Dock> I crushed my cpu
<@Dock> Worked though, so I didn't break it.
<+Arrowmaster> grr wtf
<+Arrowmaster> theres a reason its called a ZIF socket
<@Dock> ZIF my ass.
<ASk> a ZIF ass?
<ASk> that's a treasure, man
<ASk> just think of all the possibilities

<@Daedalus> I think any "how to" thing that starts "so you've"
is solid gold
<@Daedalus> "So you've decided open a hockey rink"
<@Synergistic> Thats weird
<@Daedalus> "So you've decided to mail a kitten"
<@Daedalus> "So you've got cancer"

<EvaUnit02> I had a dream that my minivan charged up my stairs
and tried to run me over in my bedroom
<EvaUnit02> its gets better
<EvaUnit02> So I charged it and wrestled it.
<EvaUnit02> I ended up overhead pressing it and capsising it
on the floor
<EvaUnit02> then I proceeded to get on my waterbed and scream
"OWNED" at it.
<EvaUnit02> what would sigmund have to say about that one
<sir-gold> that you feel your masculinity threatened by the
fact that you drive a minivan
<cd|work> you got abused by a minivan in your childhood, and
have an oedipus complex for your mother
<EvaUnit02> sir-gold now THAT is a possibility

<bug> Well, you'd be welcome to stay here, at least in part.
:)
<ekips> In part?
<ekips> Half of me stays there?
<bug> YES.
<ekips> Do I get to choose which half?
<bug> Sure!

<sabin1001> heh, i have a couple of pokemon miniatures that my
cat just found, now he's attacking them...and winning
<NeonId> I think it would be more humorous were he losing.
<sabin1001> heh
<sabin1001> he won't listen to my commands...i must need a
badge
<Chronodin> Or a gun and a good taxidermist.

DraZ: Well, except Elmo
DraZ: They even made a toy so that when you touched him, he
had convulstions.
NeoNess: I thought it was Orgasms
NeoNess: THAT TICKLES

<Sir_Busby> haha I just got the most bizarre email...some dude
that I went to university with year ago...telling me that he's
dropped off Joe and Charlie at the airport two days ago and I
should have met up with them by now...and that Joe can't wait
to experience the good old days with me back in Kingston.
haha  I have no idea who Joe and Charlie are...and I've been
to Kingston once in my life.  weird.
<Sir_Busby> mistaken identity
<Sir_Busby> I hope

<einzeln> has anyone ever noticed that when you talk to people
online, for some reason by the way they type they just seem
like a MORON?
<BuCkWhEaT> before poop: (_*_)
<BuCkWhEaT> after poop: (_O_)
* einzeln coughs
<einzeln> ....

<Lee> Dude. My mom's letting me use her once I get a license.
<Lee> o_o
<Mewten> ..use your mom?
<Lee> ..
<Lee> HER CAR
<Lee> X-x;

<Uberkommando> i keep all my songs in
"E:ClearlyNotPiratedMedia"
<Uberkommando> that should keep the RIAA off my trail for a
while

<@DudeGuy> i really like soymild
<@DudeGuy> milk
<@eponymous> New Soy Mild: For You Vegan Fuckers Too Pansy-Ass
to Take Regular Soy (TM)

<@Mouring> "How many Monkeys does it take to run this company?
"  "One, because you can get them to work for dirt cheap and
they willwork 24/7."
<@RndPkt> There was an article in scientific america about
some study of monkies.
<@RndPkt> Supposedly some art council in England paid for 3
monkeys and a computer and wanted to see what they did with
it.
<@RndPkt> I guess they beat it with stones, peed on it and hit
the S key a billion times.
<@Mouring> rnd, sounds like most end-users.