<konik> First of all let me say that Mac zealots should be
rounded up into cattle cars, gassed to death and incinerated
to make certain there is no remaining genetic material that
might infect the rest of the gene pool.
<pixagen> amen
<pixagen> there is a guy at work who always tells people that
their system would never fail, be slow, freeze, or cause
stress if it was a Mac
<pixagen> i tried to stab him but he is nimble and spry
<natx> tell him i love him

<loko> im not speak spanish
<loko> I use a translator
<Kitsa> what language do you speak?
<loko> spanish

<seraph> does anyone here have the Matrix 1?
<comet_11> searph
<comet_11> just search for the matrix reloaded
<seraph> noooo
<seraph> i want the FIRST one
<seraph> the original
<comet_11> yes
<comet_11> I'm saying if you search for reloaded, you'll find
the first one
<comet_11> you made the mistake of searching for the first
matrix
<comet_11> that'll get you fight club

<Volt9000> oy this is lame
<Volt9000> some 3 year old "genius" kid
<Volt9000> WOW HE KNOWS THE CAPITALS OF COUNTRIES
<DopefishJustin> omfg
<Volt9000> YEAH THAT MAKES HIM A GENIUS
<DopefishJustin> autistic more likely
<Volt9000> ROFL!!!!
<DopefishJustin> or maybe just a fucking dork
<Volt9000> :D
<Roger|tehsleep> OMG WHAT'S THE CAPITAL OF MEXICO?!
"vuenezuela" YOU GENIUS
<Volt9000> that autistic comment was awful :D
<Volt9000> ROFL ROGER
* Volt9000 can't breathe
<DopefishJustin> it's Mexico City, not one of the harder
capitols :P
<Roger|tehsleep> i know that
<Roger|tehsleep> vuenezuela is the capital of peru, silly
<DopefishJustin> oh yeah

<+Starvin`Marvin> over here in my country , im a real sex
object
<+RonaldMcD|afk> looool
<+Starvin`Marvin> whenever i ask girls for sex ... they object
<+Bastaard> LOL!

<VerrySpecialUnit> i have 30gb of games now...
<VerrySpecialUnit> and 10 gigs of apps
<hamms> and 0gig of a life

<DreadS> wow
<DreadS> evl - are you shrooming ?
<evl> dude
<evl> i wish
<evl> that way i could goto bed comforted
<DreadS> E ?
<evl> knowing there wasnt a goddamned vampire
<evl> flyin around my house

<Raven> Come, boy wonder! We shall rid the world of crime!
<monkeymilk> yes! together we will thwart evil-doers and
criminals alike!
<Raven> To the batcave!
<monkeymilk> wait, my download just finished
<monkeymilk> 20 minutes of gun point rape
<monkeymilk> or so the description says
* monkeymilk is away - away
<Raven> ...Maybe he's trying to think up ways to save the
girl. =/
<Robocop> he never said girl, could be two guys
<Raven> ...
<Raven> So, Robocop, are you prepared to clense the world of
evil in the name of justice, as my trusty sidekick?
<Robocop> no i'm busy trying to find a good site for making a
pipe-bomb
* Raven is starting to think IRC isn't the best place to start
his superhero campaign.

<Amorphis> I just passed with distinction my oral exam for
driving licence
<|jenova|> oral exam for driving test...
<|jenova|> dang..strict rules
<PcChip> you have to suck off the instructor ?

<otto> so... whats everyone up to tonight?
<Sauron> I'm doing a few things; checking my ebay account,
cleaning the computer area, studying for a test in school
tomorrow, and eating these hot pockets.
<Sauron> and of course, IRCing like a mofo.
<XDA> masturbating
<Raven> Porn.
<fry> porn
<otto> "which one doesn't belong here..."

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

<fry> if there's one thing i really hate
<fry> ...it's animosity

<eViL_oNe> oh goodgod!@
<eViL_oNe> HELP ME
<@lucifer> sorry. not qualified.

<Booyaah> There's something making a noise outside my window
<Booyaah> Should I go check out what the heck is making that
noise or just leave it alone?
<Booyaah> it's like a low sort of moaning
<Elzie_Ann> :/
<ViewtifulJosh> call the cops, heh
<Frozen-Solid> moaning?
<Booyaah> That's what I'd call it Frozen
<Elzie_Ann> So is this like a "People are having sex outside
my window" type of moaning or a "there's an injured cat
outside my window" type of moaning
<Frozen-Solid> could only be one thing... promiscuous sex...
you could go out and watch if you want
<Booyaah> I'm gonna go with the injured cat thing
<ViewtifulJosh> haha
<Stormrider> It might be an injured cat having sex
<Booyaah> If people are having sex outside my window then it
sounds like only one is doing a good job
<Frozen-Solid> hahaha
<Elzie_Ann> hahahaha
<Stormrider> That may be the greatest thing you've ever said,
Booyaah
<Booyaah> It's getting louder :|
<Booyaah> ok, I'm gonna go check
<Booyaah> I don't really want to have things like that going
on in my yard
<Elzie_Ann> Haha.
<Elzie_Ann> I don't have any other ideas
<Booyaah> I'm thinking there's a good chance it was a kitty
<Frozen-Solid> or carl's idea...
<Elzie_Ann> That's what I would think
<Elzie_Ann> Some kind of cat
<Booyaah> but my cat would notice...
<Booyaah> My cat = me
<Booyaah> It just lays around doing nothing
<Booyaah> you know if people were doing it outside my window
<Frozen-Solid> you'd have a camera Booyaah?
<Booyaah> Frozen, you're scaring me
<Booyaah> lol
<Frozen-Solid> heh
<Booyaah> I suppose I could've taped it though
<Elzie_Ann> haha
<Booyaah> lol
<Booyaah> it's starting up again
* Booyaah is away : Outside with flashlight
--- Booyaah is now known as Booyaah-away
** Time Passes **
<Booyaah> People in this town scare me.
<Elzie_Ann> Did you find out what it was, Booyaah?
<Booyaah> sure did
<Elzie_Ann> What was it
<Booyaah> some dude
<Elzie_Ann> o_O
<Frozen-Solid> 0_o
<Booyaah> me: "What the fuck are you doing man?" him:
"...nothing" me: "you aren't playing with yourself out here
are you?" him: "Maybe" me: "well...I really think you should
do that in your own home, not my bushes ok" him: "ok" me: "get
the fuck out of here"

<fry> i remember the first time i had a boner i thought it was
cacner or something
<fry> because i used to be smart and shit and i learned in
class that tumers were "uncontrolled growths"
<Raven> Then you found the internet. And now you can't even
spell cancer. Or tumors.
<fry> ...
<fry> :(

<fork> oh cool
<fork> theres a pube in my keyboard

<idlerakefighter> What's the deal with Ovaltine
<Sarah> the cup's round :(
<Sarah> the container's round :(
<Sarah> why isn't it roundtine?

<YoshiJRC> Who wants to freestyle!
<YoshiJRC> Here I go!
<YoshiJRC> TWO ALL BEEF PATTIES SPECIAL SAUCE LETTUCE CHEESE
PICKLES ONIONS ON A SES'ME SEED BUNNN! PICKLES ONIONS ON A
SES'ME SEED BUNNN!!
<YoshiJRC> I BEAT YOU ALL!

<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/
pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know
your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET
ADDRESS

< mfh> fuck
< mfh> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may
be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
<@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good
programmer

<Flammie> I have a secret.
<Flammie> I'm deaf.
* Chibi points and laughs in braile

(iTM): are you racist?
(killjesus): gosh
(killjesus): here we go again
(killjesus): jumping to conclusions
(killjesus): will it make you feel better if i tell you my
name is Adolf
(killjesus): and that i think black people are lesser human
beings?

<Alman> Stacy's mom has got it goin' on, ooh yeah...
<Tyrillis> U see the video for that
<Tyrillis> Her mom is pretty hot
<Alman> yea
<Alman> stacy's not too bad
<Alman> either
Tyrillis> :P
<Alman> but she's like 10
<Alman> so that sucks

<Ralph`> u know teh way balck ppl talk?
<Ralph`> how tehy say "thur" stead of "there" and "hur" stead
of "hair"?
<AXEiii> ...?
<Ralph`> how do you think they say "her" as in... "her"?
<DeAZNriDe> that bitch

<Nukeitall> Hey guys, I need a list of issues people always
discuss but can never truly resolve.
<Dreadnought> whether god really DOES kill a kitten every time
a person masturbates
<Dreadnought> and if domokun are real
<WizardofWestmarch> oh domo is real
<Treen> yeah, domo's real
<Astyanax> pfft of course domo is real
* Dreadnought puts on his domo suit
<Astyanax> doiiiii
<WizardofWestmarch> look at all his crazy hijinks living with
Usajii
<Nukeitall> Domokun kills kittens because of a large tumor
making him think god speaks to him. next.

<robbie212> where are you getting this stuff?
<bahumbug> robbie212:
www.freedvdrsforpeoplethatarentjewish.com
<robbie212> it doesn't work
<bahumbug> you must be jewish

<CarnivorousPlant> dog + compost /= (dog+compost)
<CarnivorousPlant> (dog+compost) = dog^compost
<CarnivorousPlant> and if any mathematicians object, they are
free to come over here and smell this blasted dog

<PunisherBass> I'd rather smear my nuts in honey and then tea
bag a red ant hill than watch the matrix reloaded again

<NeroMan> "Queer Eye For A Straight Guy" would be better if at
the end of the episode the five gay guys combined into a giant
one
<MattW> I'll form the ARM
<Karva> I want to be the crotch
<NeroMan> "I'll give the head"
<NeroMan> I mean.. form the head.

* Jedi_Peni is now known as Jedi_Penis
<melusine> Please don't show us the power of the force.

<Boogaleeboo> ...soul, what was the exact name of the file you
sent me? <Boogaleeboo> I seem to have fucking LOST it
<SHODAN> I'll find it.
<deVoca> Boog, search on "12_year_old_hardcore.avi"
<Boogaleeboo> Too many results

<Pander> Isn't that like a greek tragedy? A man who spends all
his time downloading porn but never gets to look at it?

<Misteroo>  I'M PART ITALIAN. MAMA MIA, I GUNA YOU DOWN
<Misteroo>  YES I WILL! THEN I WILL DRAW A STILL LIFE OF THE
SPAGHETTI WHICH I EAT VERY OFTEN
<winterwinstar> draw a bunch of pirahnna plants and green
pipes
<Misteroo>  WINTER THAT IS OFFENSIVE I LIVED IN THE MUSHROOM
KINGDOM THERE WEREN'T THAT MANY PIPES :{

[+Freeder] The Angry Dragon
[+Freeder] Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's
mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her
nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

<Blade> Too bad your ex wasn't there.
<Sonsquidku_V> She was in f*cking San Diego. Can you believe
that?
<Sonsquidku_V> There's like nothing there. It's mexican
canada.
<Blade> Seriously, it's like LA took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And then that crap took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And picked through the crap to find a land
mine.
<Sonsquidku_V> And threw it at my mom.
<Blade> XD
<Sonsquidku_V> Who fell down the stairs.
<Sonsquidku_V> And into a hole which led to China.
<Sonsquidku_V> And that's why I haven't seen her for the last
15 years.
<Blade> You have some issues, Dan.

<KoKaiNo> i just got pwnd what does that mean?

<+Jenda_away> javascript:OpenPortalContentWin
(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');
<@contagious> Not sure that link is gunna werk;]
<+Jenda_away> www.javascript:OpenPortalContentWin
(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');.com
<@contagious> lol
<@contagious> That one either
<+Jenda_away> hmm
<+Jenda_away> fuck you

<Ron> Not all those tricks are that amazing.
<Lance> Hey, if a dog can get a server up in Korea before it
gets eaten, I'd give that a 9.

<mReD> wtf happend to that blaster virus
<mReD> did microsoft get attacked
<]Oxygen[> they pointed www.windowsupdate.com somewhere else
<]Oxygen[> what they should have done is point it at apple.com

<S1> i'm royally pissed off
<S1> i was giving my grandmother a ride into town so she could
pick up her car
<S1> as i went through an intersection
<S1> a car making a right turn decided she diddn't want to go
into the right lane wich was clear
<S1> nooooooooo she had to jump RIGHT in front of me
<S1> I had my 70 year old grand mother in the car
<S1> i almost rear ended the fuck out of an SUV
<S1> it could have easily put my grandmother in the hospital
<S1> bitch is lucky didn't rip her lungs out through her ass
<A1> you were going to rip your grandmothers lungs out through
her ass?

onkeybutt87: what are you up to?
UpDogWkeBoarder: just chatin, i might have pancacks for dinner
onkeybutt87: that sentence makes me sad
onkeybutt87: a pancack?
UpDogWkeBoarder: lol
UpDogWkeBoarder: i'm typing to like three people
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's a lot for me
onkeybutt87: trust me, it's a lot for us too
UpDogWkeBoarder: hahaha
UpDogWkeBoarder: you type fast
UpDogWkeBoarder: i don't
onkeybutt87: yeah, I also type well
UpDogWkeBoarder: yeah
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's trure

<+OwnzYa> work?
<+OwnzYa> whats that?
<@Wapwap> That explains why you are so fat

<Cthulhuberries> the only tests I get right are pregnancy
tests :P

<Treen> Damnit, why on earth are they making Max Payne 2 a
fricking LOVE STORY?
<Mithrandir> because love is cool
<Exspes> Because everything has to have a love story in it
<Exspes> Lord of the Rings was about Sam and Frodo
<Treen> <_<
* Dr_Nick smacks Ex
<Exspes> Smoochies.
<Exspes> The Hobbit was about Bilbo and that dwarf king
<Exspes> It'd be cool to be able to jump into books
<Treen> ...

<Dain-EvenDumber> I have a theory
<Dain-EvenDumber> A theory that the current Prime Minister of
Canada is the smartest man on the planet
<Dain-EvenDumber> And his brilliant ideas would have ushered
Canada into a new age of prosperity and power, overcoming even
the United States...
<Dain-EvenDumber> if only people could understand what he was
saying

<cdk> the computer admin at the office is just the kinda LINUX
0wnZ WIND0wZ nazi
<cdk> and he's goddamn paranoid
<cdk> and he smells
<@noosie> most linux guru's smell
<@noosie> linux before personal hygiene... that's their moto
<cdk> do most linux guru's whistle and make awful jokes and
hysterically laugh at their OWN jokes?

(Scorpion): hi
(Scorpion): do you spek englýsh
(Scorpion): do you spek turkish
(Scorpion): admýn
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Zaphod): You want to buy the channel #zurna?
(Scorpion): okey
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): Sorry, i dont quite understand you
(Zaphod): You want to pay money for the channel?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): what good is ?
(Zaphod): that doesnt make any sense
(Scorpion): how much
(Zaphod): How much will you pay, what is fair you think ?
(Scorpion): do you speek turkihs
(Zaphod): no
(Scorpion): hýms
(Scorpion): sop to add
(Scorpion): alo
(Zaphod): Hi
(Zaphod): how much will you pay?
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): make it $30 and you have a deal
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): No deal
(Scorpion): 15$
(Scorpion): ?
(Zaphod): $30 is the price
(Zaphod): that is a good channel
(Scorpion): 20$ ?
(Zaphod): ok, ok, its your lucky day, im feeling in a good
mood and i just got a new shipment of channels in, £20 is fine
(Scorpion): end money
(Zaphod): How will you pay
(Scorpion): give me check number
(Zaphod): lol
(Zaphod): im joking with you
(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
[(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): £20
(Scorpion): okey
(Zaphod): No sale
[(Zaphod): Not selling
[(Scorpion): why ?
[(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
(Scorpion): oky.
(Scorpion): insistenly canal
(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): insistently canal to want?
(Scorpion): pls
(Scorpion): alo
(Scorpion): to speak
(Scorpion): plssss. :(

(Zaphod): now, would you like knee pads for that, or are you
going bare back ?
(Matthew): doesnt matter, its only irc
(Matthew): so you choose
(Zaphod): Matthew - whatever you like, as long as you wear
pretty red lipstick, its all good with me
(Matthew): k, but let me get my tweasers and magnifying glass
(Zaphod): you wanking yourself at the same time huh ?
(Zaphod): kinky

<@maddox> hehe.. man, Norton Antivirus sucks. All it does it
bog everything down, I clicked on the "optimize my computer"
setting and it just uninstalled itself.

<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my
neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to
share it with me early in the morning... -_-