<FFk> he had a stroke
<FFk> and only half of his face works
<FFk> isnt that wicked?
<FFk> kinda like twoface from batman :D

<Uno> am I better then Keanu Reeves? Well that is a matter of
opinion and acting ability
* Uno is now known as Rkiver
<Skorp> heh
<Plague> lol
<The_GoldFish> no one is better than Keanu Reeves
<The_GoldFish> NO ONE
<The_GoldFish> anyway
<Plague> keanu reeves is the master
* Zapth likes Rkiver more then Keanu Reeves
* Skorp hides
<Plague> who else do you know who can fly?
<Rkiver> Clarke Kent
<PatamonKid> you are keanu reeves's bitch
<Skorp> Superman??

<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> I have a *nix os.
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> Several.
<MeKa> [11:54] <Cidsa> hurray
<MeKa> [11:54] <Cidsa> next is
<MeKa> [11:54] <MeKa> linux?
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> RH 9, Mandrake 9, Debian, Slackware
and Gentoo.
<MeKa> dont call me an idiot if you didnt answer  before I
asked the question
<MeKa> DOLT:P
> Uh' dude.
> They're different flavours of Linux.
> Sort of like Microsoft is a flavour of being ass raped by a
dead turkey.

<[Hobbes]> -rw-------    1 hobbes  hobbes  7802880 Aug 20
07:03 metaballs.core
<[Hobbes]> wtf is THAT
<@dk> your metaballs dumped thier core? ;)
<[Hobbes]> heh I read it as meatballs the first time
<@ky_druid> damn Hobbes, do you have to use your metaballs so
hard that they coredump? sheesh.

<Jeeba> You sad sad men.
<Jeeba> I took off of school today to watch the Two Towers'
Special Features disc over and over.
<Xylene> and you call us sad.

<{SCF}|l||l||ll|> I AM SCF BARCODE

Rob - you know u have a high sperm count when she has to chew
before she swallows!

<nonzero> do you have a vagina?
<cisco_gal> yes :p
<nonzero> sweet

<Credence> how is an athlon even remotely comparable to a
celeron
<Aeturnus> they're pretty close in speed

<enaz> what's the best way to tell the difference between
flirting and networking
<FifthColumn> enaz: how stiff the cat5 cable is?

<bucket> The U.S. is strange!
<Ven99> - Iknow
<Ven99> - I was downt in texas and walked into a mexican
abortion clinic.
<bucket> why were you in there???
<Ven99> - The sign in the front said "CRIME STOPPERS"

<BoriS> so, it's important to know, what kind of movie you'll
look BEFORE you enter the theatre
<Bastaard> like people taking the advice of other people on
IRC that when they get to a japanese restaurant that they
order "bukakke" for dessert

* tania has joined #maths
<tania> if i had a line on a graph, how would i know points
(x,y,z) lie on the graph?
<LackLustre> ERR HERR HERRR SUB THEM INTO THE LINE EQUATIONS
<tania> and then what?
<LackLustre> MASTURBATE INTO A PAPER CUP!!!!!
<LackLustre> no, you're done, truthfully.
<tania> lol
<LackLustre> let's say i got a totally fucking crazy line like
y = 3x + 2
<LackLustre> it sickens me to type it, but there we go
<LackLustre> is (2,1) on it?
* sabamacx rofls :D
<LackLustre> does 2 = 3.1 + 2
<LackLustre> NO IT FUCKING WELL DOESN'T
<LackLustre> SO FUCK YOU, LINE, FUCK YOU, POINTS
<sabamacx> we need more people like LackLustre, he's my golden
ray for the day :D

<omega> i have a question.
<omega> is your community THAT small that you're so bored and
lifeless that you need to spam communities that are 20x
bigger?
<FFk> how about i answer your question, with another question.
<FFk> Have you ever seen a naked man ride a horse?

<FFk> Ive been living on my own for 2 weeks. Im so bad with
money and shit im drinking apple juice and eating animal
crackers.
<Goftyrind> erm....
<FFk> i can safely say i need my mommy.

<molo242k> ALLO WESTERN COMRADES! NO COMMUNISTS HERE! JUST
HARD WORKING YANKY DOODLE DANDY WESTERN CO WORKERS! OH BOY!
TIME FOR SOEM MORE OF THAT FAMOUS AMERICAN APPLE PIE! PERHAPS
LATER WE WILL ENGAGE IN MANLY EMBRACE WHILST STILL CLINGING
DESPERATELY TO THE ILLUSION OF HETEROSEXUALITY JAH?

<Ysabelle> my god
<Ysabelle> a sixteen year old friend of mine has a full beard
and goatee.
<bark> hahaha
<Gizmo^_^> impressive
<Gizmo^_^> (says darth)
<Ysabelle> And she refuses to wax!

PythagorusBAN: I think every "bottom" quote on bash has the
word 'nigger'
PythagorusBAN: I didn't know there were that many niggers on
the internet to begin with
Boozmation: you come across them everyonce in a while..
usually at dating websites
PythagorusBAN: or porn sites
Boozmation: oh yea
PythagorusBAN: or the National Geographic webiste
Boozmation: well then its not even a contest

<bishead> man there is such a difference between online comp
players and online console players.
<bishead> when i play cs my sexuality is attacked like a
hundred times and my mother's weight mentioned 50 times.
<bishead> i was playing some guy in madden 2004 on ps2. and
this guy was all like "hey man ur doing pretty good" and
giving me tips and shit.
<bishead> but i've been playing cs too long. blurted out i
wanna fuck ur mother with a pole.
<bishead> i kinda felt bad after.

<@flugger> Dont ever handle your dick after handling hot
peppers..

<fr0k> Methinks Slicey is A) blushing or B) seriously not
amused
* fr0k hopes for A
[later]
<Fractal-Coffee> (i think she's just ignoring you fr0k)
<fr0k> (she is)
<Fractal-Coffee> (safer than acknowledging anything you say)
<pineapple_slice> stop talking about me.
<fr0k> (she's telling us to stop talking about her...)
<Fractal-Coffee> (should i say "who said we were talking about
you" to her?)
<Fractal-Coffee> (maybe that'll throw her off)
<fr0k> (yeah, let's try that)
<Fractal-Coffee> who said we were talking about you?
<Fractal-Coffee> who said we were talking at all?
<pineapple_slice> ... You and fr0k. I'm not that stupid.
<Fractal-Coffee> were we talking?
<Fractal-Coffee> who's we?
<Fractal-Coffee> oh, right
<fr0k> (I dont' think she's buying it)
<Fractal-Coffee> (foiled)

<Calisa> I can only hope there are hotel rooms involved in the
party. I need to give my secret garden to serenity. We'll ride
the comet of passion and wait until the sun dawns on the pool
of spilled innocence. A world that's calm in the everlasting
wake.
<TribGuru> she's gonna fuck the desk clerk.

A little overexcited about Silent Hill:
<Aremis> Who can take a fire sireeennnnn.... and make a symbol
of fear and dread? Who can take a sweet town and fill it with
the undead? Konami cannnnn... The Konami Corp. cannnnnn.....
<Aremis> The Konami Corp. can take a simple hospital and make
it a hell of rust and bloooooddddddd......
<Aremis> Who can take a happy dayyyyyy.... and shove it full
of fog and snow? Who can make monsters that die with one blow?
Konami cannnnnn.... the Konami corp. cannnnnn....
<Aremis> The Konami Corp. can because people are addicted to
fear and they have stockholders in North koreaaaaa.....

<@sed> somebody tell me what i'm forgetting to save before i
reinstall windows
<+nimper> porn
<@Jagfire> sed, porn
<+Sabby> porn

<spacemank> someone help me think of an eye catching phrase or
something about me.
<cky> hm
<cky> your nickname rhymes with 'wank'
<PsykoDave> Spacewank!
<spacemank> gr... not to do with my NICK
<cky> well, you said about you :P
<spacemank> yes, me. not my nick.
<spacemank> I am not my nick.
<spacemank> I am me.
<Greg|wawy> if you re-arrange the letters, you get "spankmace"
<cky> your nick has to do with you
<spacemank> not really.
<spacemank> GRR
<spacemank> USELESS
<Greg|wawy> :D
<cky> which is almost "spank mice"
<cky> you could also rearrange it to say MSPancake!
<spacemank> I hate you.

<Sabrebutt> So, I started learning Java today.
<tacojon> eww
<tacojon> i hope you washed your hands afterwards

SG The Clown: lol check this out i photoshopped a pic about
that
Darksyphon23: you credit for mine idea :-
Sweet J Elite: .. rofl
[5 MONTHS later]
Sweet J Elite: i'm gonna go play final fantasy x
Darksyphon23: haha, i was thinkg that too, "you credit for
mine idea"
Sweet J Elite: you do know that it was you that said that,
right?
Darksyphon23: wh...huh?
Darksyphon23: i thought it was you who said that
Sweet J Elite: no, you said it, and sg and i have been making
fun of you for it for the past 5 months
Darksyphon23: fuck..FUCK!
[silence for 5 minutes]
Sweet J Elite: dude, are you pissed?
Darksyphon23: OF COURSE I'M PISSED! I JUST FOUND OUT "YOU
CREDIT FOR MINE IDEA" was MINE IDEA!

<Uhh_Duh> relationships are so easy thanks to the internet..
you can establish and destroy them at the touch of a few keys!
<black-ice> it all starts with 3 letters, asl
<black-ice> and ends with stfu

<+Kyle-SPTINYGLOL> I want Disney Land to like, Make an AOL
ride.
<+Kyle-SPTINYGLOL> And 2 seconds after it starts.
<+Kyle-SPTINYGLOL> It stops.
<+Kyle-SPTINYGLOL> And screams "DISCONNECTED. >:("

(@aoi|triviabot) 9.  What is a group of gorillas?
(@rifleman) rap group
(@ThunderBall) basketball team

<krulos> my bud had sex with his girl last night 4 times and
in the morning she said,"He was the best she ever had."
<krulos> i told him i had sex with my girl 6 time last night
and this morning she said,"I was God!" lol. how many times did
u get it on last night?
<KavorkianKilled> once
<krulos>hahaha, did she say anything to you this morning?
<KavorkianKilled> yeah, don't stop.

<evileye|ESC> http://promotions.yahoo.com/yodel/
<evileye|ESC> YAhOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!
<Hellfire> ROFL
<evileye|ESC> "DO NOT ENTER THIS PROMOTION IF YOU ARE NOT
LOCATED AND LEGALLY RESIDING IN THE UNITED STATES (EXCEPT
FLORIDA) DURING THE ENTIRE TERM OF THIS PROMOTION."
<evileye|ESC> EXCEPT FLORIDA!
<evileye|ESC> damn old people
<Hellfire> hahaha
<Hellfire> they dont want the professional florida yodelers to
win......

<[Max]Kaz> does any1 know if I can extract a bit of a movie
without all the files?
<[Max]Kaz> Its p0rn so I dont need all of it

<dr_binks>I think they should start rating bash quotes
according to how stupid the people are, not how funny the
quotes are.

<+phU|CrUM> i woke up to the sound of rain of the roof
<+phU|CrUM> layed in bed and listend to it for a couple of
minutes then rememberd that i left my windows down in the car
<+BalefireX> that would have been funny to watch
<+phU|CrUM> what? me sprint out of bed, run outside half
asleep, realize that i forgot my keys, slip in the mud and
almost fall on my face turning around, get inside, grab my
keys, sprint back outside and close my windows?
<+phU|CrUM> naw, that wouldnt have been funny to watch
<+BalefireX> you realize that your car would have been just as
wet had you taken your time to get dressed and calmly walk out
and do it?
<+phU|CrUM> you see, now i realize that... but when im half
asleep im like 10x as dumb as i usually am
<+BalefireX> im amazed you remembered to breathe

<LicknDrgn> I dunno, I haven't used a stock HSF in one of my
machines since P200 days
<LicknDrgn> Which probably accounts for the fact I've got a
cold CPU most days and fuck all else to my name :)
<LicknDrgn> Then again, the drug addict and alcoholic phases
probably don't help either.
<LicknDrgn> Still, at least I can play video games drunk and
stoned with the heater on :P
<LicknDrgn> And really, isn't that what's important in life?
<LicknDrgn> ...
<LicknDrgn> I wish I had a heater :(

<Ziller> I'm confused now
<Ziller> am I me?
<Ziller> [12:14] *** Ziller (ziller@bnc.host) Quit (Ping
timeout)
<_jackal> it's weird to see yourself quit from irc..
<Ziller> like seeing your own death

<[TFCC]MysteryDate> and what kind of tools am I going to need
to put all this crap together
<[TFCC]MitsuMan> philips head screwdriver and knife to open
packages lol
<[TFCC]FloorPie> A knife? Use your teeth
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> what about securing the mobo in the case
<[TFCC]FloorPie> You'll have such a hard on when the new
hardware arives, just poke the package open
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> or tape and grease? i read somewehreabout
that
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> but I have no idea why
<[TFCC]MitsuMan> everything will come with mounting screws M
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> oh right
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> dammit
<[TFCC]FloorPie> The tape is to hold your hardon down
<[TFCC]FloorPie> the greese is for afterwards

<Kai> I like big xc,jhagjhrrss and I cannot lie.
<Ben-San> You other brothers can't deny when a fhgargh walks
in with an itty bitty SLAJCHSAFGBG and a big typo in your
face.. :P
<Kai> You get gfdhgfj and you wanna pull up gfyifu because you
notice that xc,jhagjhrrss was djhfdjhf.
<Ben-San> This leads to the eternal question: what rhymes with
djhfdjhf?
<H_Cuz> gjhfdjhf.
<Kai> bjhfbjhf?

<Fusion> My cat tried to eat a praying mantis. I told him it
was a bad idea.
<Mitsugi> what was his response?
<Fusion> Uh... "meow"
<Mitsugi> figures
<Fusion> Yeah. What a bitch.

<Elfer> I remember tangie complained about only getting a $30
GC game for EASTER
<Elfer> bitch
<Elfer> Know what I got for easter?
<Elfer> nothing
<Elfer> not even chocolate or anything
<Elfer> Well, at least I didn't get crucified
<Elfer> unlike some suckers at easter

<obso> christ
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.

<MrBeanTroll> ah, San Francisco Personal Ads
<Ocean-Saurian> What aobut 'em?
<MrBeanTroll> you will never find a more retched hive of scum
and villiany
<MrBeanTroll> I must be careful
<MrBeanTroll> "I'm looking for a cute strong guy with a truck
to help me move a couch from Dolores Park to Oakland some time
this week during the evening. I'll buy you dinner afterwards.
Picture required."
<MrBeanTroll> "you must be THIS hot to move my furniture"

<Procyon> I don't know the world around me!
<Procyon> I'm scared, and confused!
<DS> have you felt a strong desire to vote for george w. bush
recently?

<@Disciple> im stuck in traffic
<@Disciple> sigh
<@oz> stop ircing from your phone you lame piece of shit
<@oz> if you were jewish, that would make sense.

<BlazeHedgehog> For a few seconds when AOL first loads it
displays the wrong image with the wrong headline on the front
page
<BlazeHedgehog> So it's got this guy kneeling at the WTC
Memorial, crying, headline reads "HILLARY DUFF'S NEW CD
RELEASED"
<Waffle-X> lol
<Sz> I'd be crying too

<evilive> I've got the crime of the century
<evilive> we'll say we're offering free chicken as a
promotion, right?
<evilive> then when the niggers show up we'll shoot them and
take their gold teeth.

<Disciple> Oh man, I was listening to music today, and I
looked up, and all the kids were like ":O" and staring at the
teacher, so I took off my music to see what was going on...
<Disciple> So I took off the headphones
<Disciple> And The teacher was screaming
<Disciple> "PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH! PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH!"
<Disciple> "GIVE IT TO HIM NOW! GIVE IT TO HIM NOW!"
<[Striker]> O_o
<Elyssa> Oo;
<K-S> :O
<Ness|Scripting> :O
<Velcant> ...o_O
<Disciple> And so I was like "What the hell's going on?"
<Disciple> And I looked over
<Disciple> and she was screaming on the phone.
<Disciple> And I just started cracking up
<Disciple> But then I found out that it was really sad and it
was her son dying and someone had to give him his injection :(
<Disciple> But before I heard that, it was the funniest thing
ever.
<[Striker]> ...well, damn,
<Disciple> (He is safe now)

* Steele looks at his watch
<Steele> well either its 6:15 or mickey has a hard on

<@Moonpie> if you get into an rpg battle with the plastic wrap
around some sort of food you are the more stereotypical nerd
in the world
<+silv|LUNCH> it wasn't an rpg battle