<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a
hard-on whenever it rains.

<Pciber> Dude.
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't fuckin around!

<E_Kewl-i> Why dose the bottom of bash.org have all nigger
jokes?
<Termite> they go by economical status

<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH

<Subwoofer> My mom's dead :D
<Subwoofer> :(*

seanchil: zero5: What linux distro do you have?
Zero5: okay. can you please help me installing it.
Zero5: i have linux 9.0

<twohitcombo> i finally replaced my gay wireless keyboard that
had a laptop style key layout with no keypad
<twohitcombo> and i bought one of those logitech ones with a
hojillion buttons that dont work without the drivers
<twohitcombo> but evidently it has a 'fuck everything up'
button that works fine with out them

<Elfer> uh oh
<Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
<Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on

<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass
the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail

<iPBS> you know
<iPBS> there were billions of virus emails traveling the net
last week
<iPBS> people were complainging about getting hundreds of
emails in their inbox's
<iPBS> and i didn't get a single email virus
<slightly> me neither
<iPBS> whats that say about our popularity?
<slightly> :(

<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are
so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally.

<Charlemagne> I HATE WHEN OPS TRY TO JUDGE MY MOTHER FUCKING
ONLY FUCKING FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Wertigon sets mode: +o Charlemagne
<Charlemagne> oh
<Charlemagne> never mind
<Charlemagne> WOO!

Tridao: i got 100%
Tridao: :D
Xeero: On what?
Tridao: the iq test
Xeero: ...
Tridao:  100% of what/
Xeero: Did it give you a number?
Xeero: That says
Xeero: 'Your IQ is ___"
Tridao: 100%...:(
Xeero: Okay, your IQ is not high.

<Cyrack> told my girlfriend that MS could get all her personal
letters... now she unplugs the network before starting
Office... :-(

<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit

[ +Syphon ] what linux editor should i use to open a .dat
file?
[ +Da_BuzZ ] notepad?

-   quit: (CIA) (SDF@n00b-3A83B275.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed
(NickServ (Ghost command used by FBI)))
(@NSA) OMG GHOST GOVERMENT

<@[R-Dk]FoRbiDDeN> this litte arrow thing keeps following my
mouse, and I can't make it go away.

<doogul> he can kline but he can't kill? wtf? lol
<doogul> that's like being able to jack off but you can't take
your pants off

<Vikki> everyone send me more pics of you all :)
<Vikki> lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag
* Vikki was kicked by Vikki (stop flooding)

<NE|KevinDeux> would ME run good on a p100, 32mb ram?
<[xeno]Nirox> sure....if its being draged behind a car

<Guitar4life> there's no such thing as humping too many
grandma's

Skywalker> we need a transportation systems like the Europians
Pheylan> smelly?

<Insomniak> so anyways
<Insomniak> I had just got back from a school camping trip
<Insomniak> and I had a school tent being kept in a black
garbage bag
<Insomniak> i had to return it that morning
<Insomniak> i was running late
<Insomniak> so I pick up a black bag and go to school
<Insomniak> and later in the day, my Outdor Ed teacher comes
up to me
<Insomniak> "do you know what was in that bag you brought me?"
<Insomniak> me: "uh, a tent?"
<Insomniak> "no"
<Insomniak> "soiled diapers"
<Insomniak> i had brought the wrong bag

if you get turned down for a job, its just like getting turned
down for a date, only girls dont often give you the courtesy
of "Thanks for applying, we will keep your resume on file. 
have a nice day!"

<sean> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken,
<sean> "Thou shalt cross the road."
<sean> And the chicken crossed the road
<krohnjw__> that chicken should have been like "back off god,
im doing this my way"
<krohnjw__> then he would have gotten owned

Crazzeh Timmeh: dude
Crazzeh Timmeh: i just found out
Crazzeh Timmeh: im so sorry
Crazzeh Timmeh: i had no idea you were gay
KashJC: hahahaha
KashJC: are u that bored?
Crazzeh Timmeh: could you tell?
KashJC: yes
KashJC: lol
Crazzeh Timmeh: wanna fuck
Crazzeh Timmeh: ?
Crazzeh Timmeh: you know, since ur gay and all
KashJC: nah, not rite now...kinda busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: later?
KashJC: aight, when im done with this stuff
Crazzeh Timmeh: kk
Crazzeh Timmeh: who is stuff? never heard of him
KashJC: dont ask, we're busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: bastard, you're cheating on me now!
KashJC: hahah
KashJC: sorrie daddy
Crazzeh Timmeh: i knew you were a dirty whore

<Vict0r> they made a hackers 3?
<Vict0r> i didn't know that
<Majuju> they made a hackers 2?
<jules> they made a hackers 2?
<mnerd> what's hackers
<jules> winner.

kobbie|pot has Quit iRC (Write Error: Broken pipe)
kobbie|work has joined.

<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> lol i came up to one of those domain names
that arent registered
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> here are the top 5 searches performed
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 1. naked
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 2. boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 3. big boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 4. vagina
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 5. yu-gi-oh

<Joe> I know everything there is to know about masturbating
<Tiffany> teach me joe
<Joe> OK WELL FIRST FIND YOUR PENIS
<Joe> YOU GOTS ONE OF THOSE RIGHT??
<Joe> BECAUSE OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY
DIFFICULT
<Tiffany> o damn
<Tiffany> nevermind then

<Borlath_Mon> Dammit...what's a good ascii equivalent to "get
down tonight"?
<Fox_Alan> dunno..
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit.
<Borlath_Mon> I'm trying to put together an ascii version of a
song
<Borlath_Mon> Do a little dance
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> make a little love
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8w==D
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> Get down tonight?
<Fox_Alan> hmmmmmmm
<Borlath_Mon> It's a tricky one

<+Myke> omg you're such a gay poopooface
<+Myke> be mature

<cortXbomb> yo, I need some good shit to put on my resume that
makes it look lilke I use my computers for more than general
piracy

«@ Darth_Angelus» thats what happens when you play avp2 too
much
« TheMaskedMan » You get hairy palms and go blind
<JonR> no tmm
<JonR> thats masturbation
« TheMaskedMan » oh
« TheMaskedMan » I confuse the two

OAGreatLordAxion: You worry me sometimes, Tom.
Blast Enforcer: Good.
Blast Enforcer: I like to keep people on their toes.
OAGreatLordAxion: U and your homoerotic thoughts...
OAGreatLordAxion: u sure thats not on thier knees?

<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should
measure ourselves up to.
<jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same
thing and have it work for us for once.
<chaind> lol

Blast Enforcer: oh, and just so you know, I've never stuck
anything up my ass, and nor have I thought about it.
OAGreatLordAxion: ummm
OAGreatLordAxion: i didnt wonder
Blast Enforcer: oh
Blast Enforcer: ok
OAGreatLordAxion: right up until you said that.
OAGreatLordAxion: now im concerned.

<@phessler> expecting people to be competent went out of style
when the dot-com boom hit

Syn0P: RESPOND
aj64804: no

(@Miz): have we all gone outside to look at mars yet?
(@Chris_): cba
(@Chris_): its quicker to go to naza.gov and download a high
res image
(@Chris_): nasa.gov *
(@Miz): and print it out then stick it on the window
(@Chris_): exactly!

«@ Geza» how do u shut it down?!
«@ Geza» 2 shut down sum 1's chan?!
<PcChip> well
<PcChip> try this,
<PcChip> type: /quit shutdown #cafe_paradise
«@ Geza» ur lieing
«@ Geza» it will kick me
«@ Geza» u gay
Quits: Geza (~htrsh@owns.tha.world.edu) (Quit: shutdown #
cafe_paradise)

<BoZo> Hmmm, this is scary, I was writing something today
(with pen and paper!) and then I made an error and for like 5
seconds I wanted to undo :/       <BoZo> With a Ctrl+Z
<kdub> haha
<FyreDaug> BoZo you geek
<kdub> i was drawing something on a piece of paper in class
<kdub> and a computer was right in front of me too
<kdub> when i messed up drawing
<BoZo> It felt weird :p
<kdub> i reached up and hit ctrl-z
<BoZo> haha

<xassassingod> but i do love brittany murphy
<xassassingod> she WILL have my babies
<***|away> you make some and then put them in front of her
door ?

*** O_T_T_E_R Joined #warez/chat
«( cAz )»: sup otter
«( Mark )»: lol
«( Mark )»: you both go to the same university?
«( cAz )»: yeah
«( cAz )»: hes like 2 feet away from me
«( Mark )»: so u still talk on irc?
«( cAz )»: no he wants warez too
«( Elf )» university students trading illegal content.. dont
they teach you guys the different between right and wrong in
school? :p
«( Mark )»: im going to report you casey j and justin for
trading illegal content at a university
«(@ deTh[aWay] )»: mark
«(@ deTh[aWay] )»: you're sitting in a warez channel and
threatening to report people for it
«( Mark )»: sure
«( cAz )»: lol you noticed that too huh?
«( Mark )»: im here for the chat
«( Mark )»: not for the warez
«( Mark )»: ;)

<cannibal> oooh, the Bali bombers used SMS enabled phones to
give orders...
<cannibal> only terrorists use SMS.
<brainbox> and most of europe
<cannibal> is there a difference?

<Virgin_girl> there is a new killer virus.... i can feel
it.... scan ur discs people!
<Virgin_girl> i think im infected... im feeling like that
<Virgin_girl> norton knows it is inefcted
<Virgin_girl> it does not tell the truth

<Hitei> I can also IMPLY that you are an idiot.
<Hitei> Which, you are, but I'm not saying it, just IMPLYING
it. IMPLY is the key word there.
<Si`Howe> Look at that. You typed more than three words.
<Hitei> Shut up, you.

(+Jolt) idont have a pornocollection does that make me weird?
(ThugzLoveinThugzMansion) yes

> Okay life is good.
> Some girl I know IRL.
> Just im'ed me and said she masturbated thinking of me last
night.
> Yep, life is good.
<Seryu> lol
> Aww fuck.. she said it was the wrong window.