<bobob> um, any grammar nazi's want to help me out with
something?
<Emma> yeah, no apostrophe in nazis ;)

<SheepyMuttonChops> Some kids in the UK were rushed to the
hospital after taking viagra at their lunch period.
<SheepyMuttonChops> The Sun newspaper quoted a source at the
school as saying: "By the time the afternoon lessons began,
there was no hiding what they had done."
<SheepyMuttonChops> Haha best line ever.

<ignatios> synchronised swimming mang
<Schatten> ok
<ignatios> _o>
<Schatten> _o>
<ignatios> <o_
<paranoid> <o_
<Schatten> <o_
<ignatios> o/
<paranoid> o/
<Schatten> o/
<ignatios> <o>
<paranoid> <o>
<paranoid> ~~~~~~~~~~~<o/~~~~~~~~ HOLY SHIT I CAN'T SWIM
<ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~
<ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<tfg> fuck
<tfg> I need my copy of photoshop
<tfg> Cant find the fucking cd :/
<tfg> This chick who lives not far from me want a picture
<tfg> And I need to take the swastica off my forehead

<BigBurk> God i really cant stand windows me
<Felacio> heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
<Felacio> errr ME, not /me

<Time With A Wounded Hand> I'm downloading Naked Pictures Of
Your Mother
<Jax184> great
<Jax184> shes 56
<Jax184> but whatever floats your boat
<Time With A Wounded Hand> It's a song.
<Time With A Wounded Hand> Electric Six - Naked Pictures Of
Your Mother

(@ThinG|webbing) how do I zoom in with internet explorer?
(+|Sonic) move your face closer to the screen

<FrostyNerv> when building a pc whats the name of that anti
static wrist band thing?
<Darkcyde> an anti-static wristband?

<Moe_Rahn> Hey, I actually got mail at 1:40!
<Moe_Rahn> Spam mail, but still.
<MagFire> i didn't even get that
<Moe_Rahn> Haha.
<Moe_Rahn> I'm more specialer.
<Moe_Rahn> All the recently legal 18-year-olds are after my
wang, apparently.
<Moe_Rahn> If this many teens were after me in high school,
I'd still be there.
<MagFire> I'm still pretty excited about the potential for
getting a larger fckstck and bigger boobs
<MagFire>:D
<Moe_Rahn> If everyone responded to those ads, we'd all be
walking about with 8-mile-long cocks and like size 88ZZZ
breasts.
<Moe_Rahn> Those inches would add up...
<Moe_Rahn> Three inches here, five there, and all of a sudden,
WHAM! Mr. Happy's a frickin' behemoth!
<MagFire> I don't think I would want like a 14 inch cock,
personally.
<Moe_Rahn> It's odd, though... you always get mail about
increasing penis length, but never penis girth.
<Moe_Rahn> What good is 14 inches or 3 feet or whatever if
it's got no girth to back it up...?
<MagFire> what good is 14 inches or 3 feet if you don't have a
warm place to put it?
<MagFire> =)
<Moe_Rahn> Point made.
<Moe_Rahn> You could like put it through a person.
<Moe_Rahn> Or you could be a dancer, I guess.
<Moe_Rahn> Some people might pay money to see a 3 foot cock.
<MagFire> You'd probably be pretty popular in porn
<MagFire> but seriously...how would you even WALK with a 3
foot penis?
<Moe_Rahn> Yeah.
<Moe_Rahn> You'd have to get like a sheath for it.
<MagFire> rofl
<Moe_Rahn> But, would it be 3 feet up or down?
<Moe_Rahn> That could make a difference.
<MagFire> Okay, this conversation is finished.
<Moe_Rahn> Okay... boy, the shit you think of at 2 AM.
<Moe_Rahn> So... um...
<Moe_Rahn> How 'bout them Rams?
<MagFire> I dunno. How 'bout them?
<Moe_Rahn> I dunno either... I was trying to make
non-penis-related conversation.

<@NullC> LOL. so some 18yr chickie that I talk to just called
aol support for
some dumb ass problem.. and now the AOL support guy
is IMing her and
talking dirty to her and she's freaked out.

<MunInFull> Back in a minute. Gotta speak to the Evil One and
negotiate the release of the chocolate hostages.
<Prometheus> because god forbid the man could say "take a
shit"

<mmrafk> wtf does the "E" in E-Mail stand for
<mmrafk> express-mail ?

<Kosmo`> Why is it called PUBLIC hair if it's on a "private"
part?
<pakz> you moron! it's not PUBLIC, it's PUBIC
<Kosmo`> uh... really!?!? HOLY SHIT!
<pakz> what?
<Kosmo`> hehe, now I see why my girlfriend laughed when I
asked her "why don't you shave your public hair?"

<Vespertine>  I dare you to take out your cock... lay it on
the keyboard.. starting at "A" and tell us what letter it ends
at....
<Kairu_Hakubi> umm ok
<Kairu_Hakubi> i prolly cant get a good erection right now
<Kairu_Hakubi> so youll get a soft reading
<Vespertine> ok./
<Kairu_Hakubi> just barely goes to h
<Vespertine> oh
<Vespertine> ....

Bebej210: I really miss you Tim.
Bebej210: Except for the whole sodomy thing.

<Voices> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book
called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones!

<MikeTheLanceman> IT AIN'T ROCKET SURGERY PEOPLE.

<rutabaga> I remember one tiem I was trickortreating and this
guy ansered the door in assless chaps and a cowboy hat
<rutabaga> that was the scaeryist haloween evar

<D5_work> "I am having trouble logging in"
<D5_work> 'your username is case sensitive'
<D5_work> "But I know my username is case-sensitive"
<D5_work> 'okay, let's look at your account'
<D5_work> 'what's in the username field?'
<D5_work> "I told you, it's 'case-sensitive'"

<Katsmall> :( My boyfriend is in the hospital and nobody knows
what he has!
<spknsp3ll> katsmall: what are you doing tonite?
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Griefing.
<spknsp3ll> well if youd like some consoling, i could prolly
squeeze an hour in or two
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Okay... Come on by. I'm very horny.
* spknsp3ll scores
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Just note, that he got it right after me
fucking him, and also that I'm a man.

<Aguilera> DCC Exploit Affecting 6.12
<Aguilera> Breaking News. On Oct 20, another exploit was
identified which can crash even the recently released version
6.12
<Dabz> lol
<Dabz> since when did microsoft make mirc?

<insanity> "Before the internet, the village idiot would stay
in his own village."

<vrtny> my boobs hurt
<vrtny> anyone wanna masage them ?
<Tremor> well maybe some other time
<Tremor> im still installing php atm

[tim:] fuck this game
[tim:] the more you beat it the harder it gets
[tim:] ... oh god.
[tim:] that was never going to sound right.

Wryol: Ouch
Blood4Shame: What?
Wryol: Nothing
Blood4Shame: What is wrong hun?
Wryol: ......brb
Blood4Shame: Ok?
Wryol: Accidentally cumming on cuts burns and stings more than
Peroxcide.
Blood4Shame: Aww...  Well it's calcium, so good for the bones,
right?
Wryol: ...Remind me never to mention things like that to you
again.

absorb: seamus
absorb: why
absorb: dont
absorb: you
absorb: kiss
absorb: my big
absorb: DICK
absorb: you bitchass pussylift
Seamus: absorb: because your dick is about as long as your
average message length

<disturbed>> I have a fear... of EGGS. I know it's silly and
my girlfriend makes fun of me saying I have EGGNAPHOBIA. But I
have had this problem my whole life... EGGS actually scare me.
<disturbed> When people talk about omlettes for example, I
feel sick in my stomach... I physically cannot touch EGGS as I
get shivery and feel ill and if I see someone eating an EGG
sandwich I get a nervous twitch (always in my right eye) and I
literally have to leave the room. Even the smell of EGGS makes
me feel faint.
<disturbed> I think it's because EGGS are from chicken's butts
and that always deeply disturbed me as a kid... I think it
developed from there.
<skelm> you have some really serious issues...

xstar: i saw a license plate that said :
"MAC USR"
xstar: i wanted to hit him
xstar: hard
xstar: in the face
xstar: with a bat

Rann XXV: Geez. Story on "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" about
two guys that tried to invent a sport called "parabungee", a
combination of skydiving and bungee jumping. And, gee, one of
them got hurt when it all fucked up. Right now, God is STILL
thinking, "Why the hell isn't that fucker dead?", while Darwin
spins in his grave.

BOSS: hey
BOSS: you know this one website?
A7X: yeah
A7X: thats a cool site

<Mary> will you come to my friend from schools engagement
party?
<John> where?
<Mary> hamilton
<John> when?
<Mary> this Saturday
<John> no.
<Mary> Please?? why not?
<John> I dont know her and it will suck
<Mary> You can dance with me!
<John> :)/-<  <-- Me
<John> :)-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)|-<  <-- Me
<John> :)|-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)-<  <-- Me
<John> :)/-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)|-<  <-- Me
<John> :)|-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> Me -->  8====D~ O:  <--- You
<Mary> thats cute!
<John> if you only knew, babe.
<Mary> knew what?? HEY whats the last part mean?

<ChOeL> MASTURBASTE
<LilPest> I can't, my computer's broken
<ChOeL> well
<Chibs> Do it yourself then

* flyback- has joined #asm
* flyback- gets off his mom'
* flyback- gets off his mom's crappy laptop
<Spec-Chum> haha
<Spec-Chum> bad typo

<Trivvie> Name That Dinosaur: __________ ?
<Trivvie> 1st Hint: ****************** ********** Question
Value : 5 Points
<Trivvie> 3rd Hint: Lan*a**ia**o*au*u* *a**ue**i* 15.0 secs &
1 Points Remaining
<Trivvie> Times up! The answer was -> Lancanjiangosaurus
Cachuensis

<Ocher> hey guyz
<Ocher> I SUCK DICK FOR COKE
<Ocher> o god...
<Ocher> i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
<Ocher> IM A HUGE FAG
<Ocher> yep...
<Ocher> he does...
<Ocher> MAKE BONDAGE AND BEASTIALITY NATIONAL PASTTIMES
<Ocher> argh brb
* Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
<Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz> O SHIT HERE HE COMES

<Octane> I was once watching this documentary on Discovery
channel.
<Octane> They had this Asian family cooking scorpions.
<Octane> The reporter asked one of the family members, "what
does it taste like?"
<Octane> The family member responded, "tastes like penguin".

<kurai> lol this is the best warning ever looklook:
<kurai> This is your brain -> O
<kurai> This is your brain on drugs -> o
<kurai> This is your butthole -> o
<kurai> This is your butthole in prison -> O

(NooDLe) the next stage of female evolution
(NooDLe) will come with inbuilt oven
(NooDLe) and no vocal chords

Last night, I was looking up at the stars, and I thought to
myself, where the fuck is my ceiling?!?

21:28 < tijmen> WHO wants to meet a very handsome boy?
21:28 -!- harma [pkobjb@quakenet.org] has left #sweden.ladies
[]
21:28 -!- zn1tz]MiniMilk [gusse@quakenet.org] has quit [Signed
off]
21:29 -!- wMa|Syph3r^ [syph3r_02@quakenet.org] has left #
sweden.ladies []
21:29 -!- Archer|cs [_BiTCh_Arc@quakenet.org] has quit [Signed
Off]

(@[I]vo) i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk
if i could turn water into wine

*** Signoff: AntiNorm (Quit: Client Exiting)
<BaconStation> somewhere in the universe, a Norm also quits
IRC.

<Deltan> I think that machine needs a reboot
<Deltan> Try to edit the net adapter properties.  "An
unexpected error has occured" with an OK button.
<Deltan> Where's the, "No it's not fucking OK" button.

<robot_touch> My town was too poor to have a priest.  Our nun
had to use a strap-on.

<razzberri> but by the time i shower and get prettied up it
will be raining again :
<Shiva-TPF-> by the time I shower and get prettied up the sun
will have burnt out.

<smapdi> in an attempt to get me to stop drinking and smoking
so much pot and get motivated twords computers my dad got me
dsl
<smapdi> basically, all he acomplished was a way for me to get
alot of pr0n

<jolt> this sucks
<jolt> i joined #insomniacs, but they're all sleeping

(+comatosis) I DID IT! my first fucking mod! I took off my
video card fan which is puny shit and added a BIG one :P
(+comatosis) how much performance will i gain
(+t0by`) none

<ANDYHAZARD> i need a file
<kenners> you misspelled "life"

<DizzDvl> didja know that a bee's penis breaks off in the
queen and she saves it for later?
<rabbit> saves it for later for what?
<DizzDvl> saves it for later when she needs to fertilize eggs
<MoouadDib> if the queen's next lover isn't as good she slaps
him with the penis of previous lovers