<Bota> well, either my balls smell like propane, or my propane
smells like balls : either way i think we have a problem

<@HollowmaN> The goverment was sterilizing retarded people for
a few decades but stopped in the 70's. luckily i was born in
the 80's

<Thom`Manson> "The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as
the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989
discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who
sodomizes thirsty children."
<Manboy> hahaha
<Manboy> OH YEAH
<Manboy> (sobbing)
<Thom`Manson> hahahaha
<Manboy> OH YEAH!!!
<Thom`Manson> hahaha

<chanman3> does irc stay open on christmas

<Mike> WTF
<Mike> MY TOASTER IS ON FUCKING FIRE
<Mike> BRB

hottieanda69er69: i was like haveing a hudge organism in the
shower

<ascian> why do you guys need a car?
<Odat> cause people look at you funny when you run down the
highway making vroom noises with your mouth

ashgromnies: Let's play some Oregon Trail
technocloak: I've never played that game since fourth grade .
. . the character I named after myself DIED on my birthday.

<ducklord> You may think I'm retarded, but I actually know
some things
<ducklord> Like the square root of my telephone number

<[HCC]Freeman> Yiff is another way of saying fuck? Awesome.
<Cel> ....uh huh.
<Mage[CS]> "I want to yiff you like an animal..."

<Bonz> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark
absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of
the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a
"light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its
path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit
working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt
out, it's because they're full.

* Kosaku has Lee raped by some random tentacles.
* Lee dies.
<Tash> Shit.
<Tash> Its Rape 'o clock.
<Kyle> ..
<Kyle> What?
<Tash> Oh wait.
<Tash> I'm reading my watch wrong.

<OwnerDemon> Subliminal (kill) messaging (your) is (parents)
awesome!

youatemypancreas: Dammit.
youatemypancreas: Diablo won't work. it keeps minimizing
itself. >_<
Areku: *pats.*
Areku: Oh hey. I've got a great plan.
youatemypancreas: Oh?
Areku: I'm going to set up a murder. And just before I murder
the person, I'm going to ask. "Are you scared?" And when they
say yes, I'll reply "You shouldn't be, you're on Scare
tactics!" Then when they're all happy, and relieved they're
not going to die.. I'll stab 'em good.

<Chocoboko> I wonder what things would have been like had
Square stuck with Nintendo.
<DragonFogel> I doubt we'd see FFT. =P
<Soulcleaver> Imagine FF7- with all the "objectionable" and
"offensive" material removed.
<Indogutsu> <Barret> You Shinra are the vermin, robbing the
Planet of its dreams! And that makes you King Vermin! So hush
your mouth, you... you... jackaninny!

<Lemmih> a_shadow: You could start rollerskating. That was how
I meet my first girlfriend.
<Sonarman> or you could just masturbate to porn

<SumGeye> I met God once.
<Bern> Ok...
<SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like
whiskey.

<Godsey> I have a great idea for a porn movie
<Godsey> Humping Dumpty
<_megan_> we had a 70 year old man fixing our huge fence while
you sat your ass and watched him
<Godsey> all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't
satisfy Dumpty again
<mannyh> haha

<Fox_Jenny> alan, please dont wear socks tonight
<Borlath_Mon> Yeah. Use a condom, you cheap fucker

<Jonathan> anyone here seen the movie pi?
<Yesenia> yea, I saw it 3.14 times.

<[K]orangeboy> nah, i live in wales, which is like the dirty
retarded cousin that lives chained in the basement of the uk

<@Infinik> Do you think the Matrix ever gets netsplits?
<warpunk> Sure.
<@Infinik> Quits: Trinity (smith.matrix.com
jackson.matrix.com)
<@Infinik> Quits: Morpheus (Quit: Observe the powers of the
red pill, bitch)
<@Infinik> Smith has been kicked by Neo (Cloner)
(-M-a-t-r-i-x-)
<warpunk> Heh.
<Swanky-Tuna> Why would you take a pill from a bald black man
in the middle of nowhere?
<warpunk> Cuz I paid for 'em!
<Swanky-Tuna> there was a flash about that
<Swanky-Tuna> everybody started smiling as he was passing out
<warpunk> All your matrix are belong to us.
<Swanky-Tuna> and trinity was just a crossdresser
<@Infinik> Haha
<Infinik> "The Trinity?" "The Trinity who hacked the IRS
d-base?" "That was a long time ago." "I thought you were a
guy." "That was a long time ago too."

<ld>: my parents got really pissed at me for my grades
<leet eskimo>: sux to be you
<ld>: but i ownd their faces off
<leet eskimo>: how
<ld>: well "i cant belive you have a 50 in gym"  "it's ok, i
had subway for lunch"

<drakin> 6666666666666op''''''
<drakin> sorry, turn my back and a kitty sits on the
keyboard..
<Stokesy> fuck you all you fucking fuckers
<Stokesy> sorry, that was my parrot
<drakin> isnt it spelt torrettes..

<I_D> what's this I hear about you and the arab army?
<bugkiller> I_D: nha.. but the Israeli defense army didnt
accept me to intellegence devision for some fucked up reason
<[-Locky-]> get on one of your jockey camels
<[-Locky-]> and haul ass over here
<I_D> he can't locky
<I_D> that's a military vehicle over there

<drew> um..quick..does anybody remember how to make a cat
vomit?

<[RIT]Vyper> RIT women are like parking spaces. They're either
taken or handicapped.

<darklink570> tubgirl is like the luigi to goatse's mario

<Jim_McNeat> Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just
trust me on that one" mode?

<Yurijin> HOLY CRAP
<Yurijin> i was playing a song
<SoSul> hellos
<Yurijin> and forgot i left some porn video in the play list
<Yurijin> and all of a sudden
<Drayth> ROFL
<MonopolyMan> XD.
<Yurijin> "AHHHH <music ends>" "OHH OHH OH <slobber> OHHH"

<DthPool> Im trying to milk myself
<DthPool> its not working
<DthPool> my nipples hurt
<TranceDude88> say  hello to bash.org

<Min1ster> I have been captured My Regime has fallen and my
sons are dead. But I have some good news..... I just saved
hundreds on my car insurance by switching to Geico

<xa-mua> i think i'll go rent seabiscuit
<reboot> you leave my wife alone

<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: And with the clicking, came the
ticking, of the page that was no more
<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: Quoth the server, 404

<cayde> It's getting harder to get a summer job these days
<tam> cayde: maybe cos it is winter?

<riesto>  So I discovered that half my students are failing
because they just read bash.org every day in class.
<tumnest>  How'd you determine that?
<riesto>  One of them *accidentally* e-mailed me explaining
how no one does anything in the class, dumbasses.
<riesto>  So if you're reading this, students, GET TO FUCKING
WORK!  MODULE 10!

* vryxnr does a happy dance again
<vryxnr> :D
<vryxnr> @--<
<vryxnr> @-|-<
<vryxnr> @-?-<
<vryxnr> oops
<Keioto> hahah
<Keioto> you broke your arm

<codespace> who is the father of genetics?
<codespace> mendel?
<Swish> Dr. Genetalia
<codespace> go team.

-([AfZ]Curse)- i just ripped the most putrid fart ever
-([AfZ]Curse)- and my fucking dog looked at me and walked out
of my room

<MadTom> Man
<MadTom> Bob the Builder porn is hard to find

<s2k|D_Holt> anyone have scented condoms?
<s2k|Alchemeron> after using them, all condoms are scented

<burntash> try this shit on for a size, a telemarketer just
called me and when i answered hello they told me "please hold
on, all our staff are currently busy"

<LadyLazaruss> LOL my student just sent me an email with the
subject line "hey baby"
<Allahkat> HAHAHAHA
<bunnie> whoa
<LadyLazaruss> closely followed with an "oops... disregard
that last email!!!"
<Loser> hahahaha
<Allahkat> LMFAO

<PoofServ> WOOHOO! My mom is getting off!

<Jim> The blue man group is a complete ripoff of the smurfs

<Adora> you know what I just realized boobs are really good
for?
<Enigma> holding stuff up?
<Adora> they're PERFECT for cleaning fingerprints off cds
<Adora> all soft and squishy
<Enigma> really? who knew
<Adora> no hard edges
<Enigma> my next guess was going to be luring sexually
deprived teenaged geeks into helping you with your computer
problems

<Pascal> Aieee!  On a company's resume submission form:  What
level of education do you possess?  yes  no
* Pascal answers 'yes'
<fEk> Who would answer 'no' to that? :)
<Pascal> The person who designed this form?

<Snoody> I am wearing a sports bra. It makes my boobs look all
flat and weird.
<tanjo> as opposed to ?

<pakman> opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they
all stink
<goatasaur> but they're fun to poke at

(Crazy) my shampoo is for blonde people :/
(topher) the instructions are in big letters ?