<tyranid05> So I was in auto shop measuring a brake disc tonight. It came out to be 1.1337" <tyranid05> I started to laugh. When asked why by the teacher, I explained about l33t. <tyranid05> When I came out of class my car was egged. :(
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me GarbageStan23: why? Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us. Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire! GarbageStan23: oh shit! Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire.... Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
<Immortal> A friend of mine works as a janitor at a high school <Immortal> and that high school has a really advanced mental/ developmentally handicapped program <Immortal> in other words, a special wing for retards <wm161> dyslexics of the world, untie! <Patrick_Moore> lol <Immortal> well anyway, the janitors put mousetraps in the rooms that the retards use <Immortal> but the retards kept setting them off to take the peanut butter <Immortal> eventually, they figured out that they could set them off with a foot and it would hurt less <Immortal> so they had to hide the mouse traps <Immortal> :D <Immortal> anyone who reads all that will think it's funny <Immortal> or else call me an insensitive bastard
<jimmiejaz> Doctors in Singapore say the virus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is present in the tears of patients with the disease. <syberghost> Cry me a fever.
<Number-6> there's this raging homophobe fundiechristian who runs this hate organization in Michigan named Gary Glenn <Number-6> he runs the American Family Association of Michigan out of his basement <Number-6> and checks Google News every day for his name <Number-6> because he's a totaly narcissist <Number-6> anyway <Number-6> i bait him now and then because my headlines are carried by google news <Number-6> and he turns up and starts posting comments on my web site <Number-6> so then i get his IP address <Number-6> and start redirecting him to tubgirl.com <Number-6> nothing makes me happier than making that pigfucker look at feces
<Arameth> wow if the bible was an rpg then judas was damn poor. he sold out for thirty silver, that is three gold pieces, you can only just buy a dagger for that
<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff. <beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice". <beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes
<artof tanz>God i'm a loser. <artof tanz>Some commercial for a sitcom said this <artof tanz>wife: "what color are my eyes?!" husband: "34C" <artof tanz>and I'm like, wtf thats not an RGB value
(alchemist) does a ps2 gameshark let you play burnt games? (Victor`) the short answer is: yes, you can play burnt games with a ps2 gameshark. (alchemist) long answer? (mojo) it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
ohnoitschris: White Castle: The OTHER guilty pleasure that makes you scream in the bathroom ohnoitschris: ... ohnoitschris: I am so sorry.
<Kaotic> I'm probably going to have to get wireless eventually, my brother keeps punching "network holes" in the walls
<Zero_Flaw> Wow, I just saw my dad surfing the net looking at health sites about STD's. No wonder he was trying to shield the computer screen from me. But, I could still see Herpes at the top left. <Zero_Flaw> Even worse, 5 minutes later my mom gets on the computer and looks at the same thing. <Zero_Flaw> I should have been a bastard and said, "Mom, you don't look like you're feeling too well, something wrong?"
<DisgruntledBadger> Why do they call it tourist season if we can't shoot them?
CascadeOrca: HAPPY FATHERS DAY! Lerxs: indeed CascadeOrca: I don't have a real father CascadeOrca: so you're all my dad today CascadeOrca: Congratulations. Sixteen Bit Hero has left the room. CascadeOrca: damnit, just like my real father clash103 has left the room. CascadeOrca: DADDIES! NOOOES! Wiggidiba has left the room.
<N1k1tA> can't we just get along? <tulkas> no <tulkas> we can't <Renegade> yeah that would suck <N1k1tA> i hate you guys
<sd> my mom got pissed at me today <sd> I was wearing the "the axe effect" and it must have turned her on, because she told me to leave the room and stay away from her =/
<vodak> Adding files to WinAmp has gotten much easier now that I realized 'enqueue' wasn't spanish...
<karaipantsu> Women want equal rights, but we have to do all the work in bed. :-p <karaipantsu> Girls need to get their sexuality out on their sleeves, like us men. <karaipantsu> Then everyone would be fucking everyone else, and the species would die out from STD's <Idle> karaipantsu - STDs can't even kill off homosexuals, what makes you think they can kill off the rest of humanity?
<Moose> Is a girl I've been shagging for a few months but not really 'going out with', as my heart lies elsewhere. <Moose> Anyway, cut a long story short, she's moving up to Glasgow in 2 weeks, and as a going away gift for her, my mates between them have offered me £90 if I can film myself performing a 'Spiderman' on her. <Moose> FYI A 'Spiderman' is the art of pulling out just before the vinegar strokes, chucking your fat into your hand, then flinging it in the girls face whilst triumphantly shouting "Go web go!!"
<MasterG> ..................................................................... .................................. <judas> where's pacman when you need him?
<HEIST> I hate early am with no sleep. I hear the voices inside my head.. <HEIST> The flashbacks.. the urges.. <HEIST> Like I'm dropping down a well into a pit of something.. <HEIST> I can LITERALLY hear voices whispering in my ears <HEIST> saying things <HEIST> wicked things <HEIST> telling me what to do <Vortex> what are they saying now? <HEIST> "drink more ovaltine"
OnlineHost: Sheila41428 has entered the room. d00d903: hi there sheila! 17/m/tx wanna cyber? Sheila41428: sure d00d903: asl Sheila41428: 48/f/tx d00d903: the hell? mom? Sheila41428: OH JESUS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! OnlineHost: Sheila41328 has left the room.
<nostal> What are the dimensions of those little MSN display pictures? <esuna> 2D
Shivanfire: maybe I should go into politics Shivanfire: I've always wanted to fuck a lot of people at the same time
<Royce> :( <Hynox> Why the sad face Royce? <Royce> I just went to Ask Jeeves and searched for Thesorus. <Royce> It told me i should look for a Dictionary first.
(sadik): nothing gayer than 2guys and a chick ([sic]): well there's two guys and no chick ([sic]): that's pretty gay
<booyah> yeh i use perl too <booyah> wrong window, ignore me <andywho> Don't worry, you use perl, we ignore you automatically
<toqer> hey germ, I think you would like my wifes friend michelle <Germ> does she like sex <toqer> next time you're out here, we need too hook you two up <Germ> No thanks i dont like being "hooked up" <toqer> she like sex, weed, and eating <Germ> eh <Germ> wait how much eating?
<Squatter> Liking Russians is one of those neutral things that doesn't say anything about someone <Lush> Yes it does <Lush> After Khaled told his friends about me, they all wrote to say that Russians are fabulous in the general vicinity of the bedroom <Lush> I didn't know whether or not to be offended, so I just smiled politely <Squatter> Really? I never heard that. Normally I think first and foremost of the arts, then brutally oppressive government <Lush> I think the former does not contadict the statement about bedrooms <Squatter> Neither does the latter
<Orajim> I was in the bathroom today and written above one of the urinals said "The joke isn't on the wall, it's in your hands" <Orajim> I never felt so small in my life.
<Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's website's background to Goatse. * Antifreez sighs <Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song. <Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!" <Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.
<cow_hax0r> HOLY HOLY FUCKING SHIT AFK A SEC <leecher> er... <cow_hax0r> Sorry back <leecher> what's the problem, house on fire? <cow_hax0r> No I had to get a drink <leecher> so why the urgency? <cow_hax0r> Well... I REALLY had to get a drink <leecher> so your house wasn't on fire or being attacked by ninja's? <cow_hax0r> Well.. no, but my throat was kinda dry
<tRonz0r> I'm $4 poorer, 1 bandanna richer and I still don't look like a pirate <tRonz0r> yarrrrrr, tis a sad day.
<KitBoxPocket> jesus christ <KitBoxPocket> we've had this number for ten years <KitBoxPocket> TEN. YEARS. <KitBoxPocket> And we STILL get calls from people asking for the fucking Hatfields! <KitBoxPocket> I swear, one of these days I'm going to answer with "No! We's the McCoys and we's a-feudin'!"
<sideburns> they opened a restaurant a few blocks away <sideburns> it's a lesbian restaurant <UncleGivey> HAHAHAHA <sideburns> err... lebanese <UncleGivey> "Hey honey, there's that new restaurant down the street... feel like eating out?"
(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much (Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty
* Joins: HarryPott (Cool@adsl-67-66-94-237.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net) <HarryPott> what is a proxy * Parts: HarryPott (Cool@adsl-67-66-94-237.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net) <Maritim> it is a thing that takes longer than 44 seconds to explain
<Anla_Shok> hmm, i guess i just prefer a landrover to a marriage <Anla_Shok> unless the marriage comes with a landrover <Anla_Shok> then i would have to rethink
[+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds.... [detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love big dicks :( [+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh? [detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :(
<forceflow> hah, there are two quotes on bash rated 1337 <forceflow> that's awesome <ItlnStaln> You're going to be a virgin for life, you know that?
<Mango> Haha, I went to the bathroom, came out, and ripped off a piece of sweet bread that was on the table and my dad says "What the hell are you doing? Did you wash your hands?" <Mango> I said "no, but I didnt piss on my hands so dont worry" <Mango> "doesnt matter" he says "your hands were still all over your dick" <Mango> "Who cares? My dick, along with my entire body, came out of YOUR dick" <Mango> So now we can't look eachother in the eyes anymore.
<BlackAdder> no, because ds told me that building a comp is like putting together lego <BlackAdder> and then i went and tried putting lego together to see <BlackAdder> and i cut my finger
<RenegadeC> I have to talk to that girl who came over to my house friday night <RenegadeC> because she left her bracelet here <CardO> was she hot? <RenegadeC> yes <RPG> RenegadeC: sheep don't have bracelets; they have collars.
<fugi> I put a note on our fridge saying "find what I peed in and win $1", roomates though it was funny, but a couple friends of ours refused to have some applejuice.
<[-Blacksword-]> brb, dishes have developed their own language and are talking to the garbage about overthrowing me... i must correct this
<Elbonio> You know how women say "I wouldnt sleep with you even if you were the last man on earth" ? Well if you WERE the last two people on the earth, i hardly think sex is the first thing on your mind... it's clearly going to be "let's raid Toys'R'us.."
<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work <MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0.
R-Salamander: Look at me, look at you! Watch me do that Pikachu! PeteMantis: (scratches records) R-Salamander: We stayed out 'til two o' clock! Watch me do a Thundershock! PeteMantis: (scratches records) R-Salamander: I am bored as hell tonight. MonkeyBoy: Watch me do the Dragonite! R-Salamander: Dude... We stopped doing that crap like five minutes ago. Come on. PeteMantis: We did?
<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs <Olly> What happened to it? <Rach> i broke it <Olly> On purpose? <Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE <Rach> just stupidly <Olly> Ahh <Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it? <Rach> yeah, it's full of water
NbVb16Mb009: i know have you ever had the weed that smells like christmas trees NbVb16Mb009: it is some good shit Me: hahahahhahah, you got dicked over. somebody sold you some pine tree branches and told you it was weed Me: do you smoke? NbVb16Mb009: no dude im a dealer shit it was weed and yea i smoke all the time NbVb16Mb009: have you ever made a beer bong Me: bull shit, you aren't a dealer Me: hahahahah, are you retarded? NbVb16Mb009: ok but if you ever want some just talk to me about it Me: just so you know, i don't believe you. what kind of weed do you sell? NbVb16Mb009: shrooms