(robb): my father passed away suddenly on thursday, and insted
of spending time with him durring his final days i was too
busy flooding your gay ass channel cuz you faggots decided to
ban me.

<DTOX> I just spent 20 min arguing with the manager at
McDonalds that I gave him a $20 instead of the $10 they
thought I gave them.  Finally he gives me a $10 back + change
and I go home and find out it really was a $10 I gave them and
I'm an asshole.
<DTOX> I drove back and apologized and gave them back the $10
they gave me
<CoMBo> stick it to the man
<DTOX> combo:  I have a fucking job, I don't need to lie at
McDonalds to make money you lazy fucking raft nigger

(CitizenC) You know what I don't understand? Why my bank
requires me to have a hardcore, uber-encrypted password so I
can see how much I have left to pay on my MasterCard. Fuck...
if somebody else wants to access my account and pay it off, be
my guest.

<Confuzion> ok all females: 1) Get in fron of webcam 2) take
off shirt 3) focus on boobies 4) *click* 5) /dccsend confuzion
boobie.jpg 6) repeat process for bottom portion of body.
*note* do not mix up steps please follow corect order. thank
you.

<asm> SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<mmx> STOP FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<+Cypherus> what is a splash-screen?
<Nagaika> when your screen falls into the bathtub

<inverse> dick is like the most popular first name for
congressmen

<d1giPhux>  ME AND TYL0R WILL HIJACK ALL THEIR CAMELS
<sm0ke>  and crash them into tents

<_Bas_> I want to be a database admin and part time mechanic
when I graduate

<shervin> i have installed a Semen Control and Flood Restictor
Waste System (SCFRWS) to control my ejaculations which land on
the keyboard.. and drain it to the local public swimming pool

<asr> 'fo sheezy.
<Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should
understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it
real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the
language of the 'streets' as it were.

<spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on
my asshole

<spazzer> ahh fuck
<spazzer> i did it again
<spazzer> spilled tap ramen juice in my lap twice
<Cured> see and I thought you were just singing along to
Britney Spears

*** QvtQht is now known as TomHanks
*** AMANDA is now known as MegRyan
<TomHanks> {S gotmail

<Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed
to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.

<fate-> right, people here aren't running a charity
<fate-> it's one big mental maturbation session

<wild-> i like to play this game where i see how far i can
stick my arm up someone's ass before their heart stops beating

<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.

<BlackDeth> warez b dum
<BlackDeth> go traffic cocaine
<BlackDeth> if you want to traffic illegal goods
<BlackDeth> do smth useful

* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.

<zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji

<shagie> srt.. he would sit at his table, scratching his scalp
and make a HUGE PILE of dandruff and PLAY with it all SRT

<async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your
performance in bed
<Violus> woah, sweet
* Violus installs ICQ

<jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality
change couldn t fix.

<matts_> Okay! So  I go to cnn.com and I see about this B1
bomber down! Oh no! :( And then i click on it, and it's a page
about the osama bin laden video tape!
<nitr8`> the video is online? or just a description?
<matts_> description
<matts_> no, it's online, the warez group already have it in
divx format
<nitr8`> heh..gimme the ftp info
<Nathan--> how the fuck did they do that?
<matts_> Osama_Bin_Laden_VideoTape-12/12/01-FoT
<Plot> what?
<Nathan--> man. this makes no sense, how are they supposed to
get the video so soon?
<matts_> I was kidding

<Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory

[Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front
on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good
looking arse

*** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
<mxman> wtf
<mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(

<wild-> u want to know a good jacking method?
<wild-> get a baggie
<wild-> dump some lube in it
<wild-> then stick yer dick in it
<wild-> and throw everything between the boxspring and matress
<wild-> then go to town
<BlackDeth> you're a masturbating champion
<wild-> BlackDeth: i wish i could claim i invented it :( but i
stole it from www.jackinworld.com

<Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
<wild-> Lepper_: that was me
<wild-> u heat it in the microwave
<SYch0> wtf

<kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha

<salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you
know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that
much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no
pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still
charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL

<peng> NOT JUST A PEN
<peng> A LIGHT UP PEN
<peng> IT GLOWED
<peng> IT WAS AWESOME
<peng> IT GAVE ME JOY
<Amanda> SHE WANTED IT AS A TOKEN BY WHICH TO REMEMBER YOU
<peng> I think she used it as a dildo.

<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.

<Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English

<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just
died

Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?

<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put
in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"

* terra melts JDigital
* JDigital melts
* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie

<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE

<Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad,
next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media

<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive
loop of stupidity.

<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq

<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize

<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl
in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is

<cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking
lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this
girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her
"dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"

<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and
glasses, then it lets u on

<@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again

<PrEs_WhO> in 50 years there will be only 2 english word
<PrEs_WhO> fuck and Dude

<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut
off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"