<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at
least once per day.   Hmmm... I'm about due....  I'll be back
in 10..

<TALLC00L1> Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make
a fist

<TYRESE> Does anybody know how it feels to have a faggot bug u
on the internet????

<kapusta> Slut: a woman that fucks everyone. Bitch: a woman
that fucks everyone but you...

<ftstjohn_> 6" long and 4 1/2" thick bald penis
<ftstjohn_> looking for a girl to watch me masterbate in real
life

<Tragician> MOTHER...FUCKING...FIREWALL!
<mightyflo> that's a horrible mental image

<prence> you masturbate too much if your mom has to snap your
tube sock over her knee to get it in the washer

<blazemore> one of my friends that i haven't talked to in
forever said "Hey what's up" through icq last night
<blazemore> i didn't say anything though cause last time she
said whats up she just needed a cd burned :|
<mightyflo> cdrs before hos

<RokChik> just had my first mammogram and anytime you flatten
anything that much, it just ain't ever going back to being
fluffy and firm again. I just may sue.

*** crunchybl has joined #xml
<crunchybl> anyone know xml in here

<Dark_un> man this shit is fucked
<Synoptica> whats that?
* Dark_un produces a piece of shit with a particularly
suspicious looking hole

<drlion> squirrels have sexy tails
<drlion> like foxes
<[ric]> hmm.... define "sexy"
<[ric]> in fact, don't... I will leave it to my imagination..
:)

<djglitch> i'm thinking about getting the front desk chix
number just to see if i still have it in me
<djglitch> she is sexy
<tyne> lol
<tyne> u got her number
<tyne> "0"

<aeflux> I swear 85% of the CS community failed remedial
english in 3rd grade
<Gunny> 85% of the CS community hasn't made it to the 3rd
grade

<Alamias> So, how is things with you Waldo?
<Joshua> things are just things
<Joshua> kicked a midterm's ass
<Joshua> tire
<Joshua> *tired
<Alamias> Cool..  I always hated midterms
<Lexx> isnt that a pregnant lady?

<Joshua> how's the recording going?
<Joshua> or the whole band thing i guess... haven't heard much
as of late...
<Lexx> like a dead paraplegic snail, nailed to a dead
paraplegic badger that has been cemented into the foundations
of a building
<Joshua> umm... was the snail dead before it was nailed to the
badger?
<Lexx> they were both stillborn
<Lexx> as were their parents
<Alamias> Sounds like my sex life
<Joshua> wow...

<Gallant> what's the point of programmin C/C++ if your goal is
to make readable code?

<evil-guru> if the Bible says Pi equals 3, the Pi must equal 3
<j-la> Thou shalt not reckon in decimals.

<Tony> a hand job..10 dollars, a blowjob..25 dollars, full
sex..50 dollars, a long lasting relationship..priceless. There
are some things money can buy, for everything else, theres
blackmail.

<Nazke|du> Your ass is russian, in other words its cold and
only inviting to women with beards.

<Veers> Welcome to insomnia, Tony. Even Masturbation won't
work right.

<Donitz> Do you like waffles?! Do you like Nazi propaganda?!
Then do we have the restaraunt for you!

<Donitz> Sleep! From Blamco! Its kinda like dying - but
without the commitment!

* DAEMON watches the most expensive videos on mtv
<SkiTz> the most expensive is bound to be a Michael Jackson
clip.
<DAEMON> it costs a lot to buy small children on the black
market for his dressing room

<Matt> so much hostility
<Spike> for such a tiny little hole

<DAEMON> marked by circumcision
<DAEMON> hm, that sounds like a Steven Segal movie

<Lowtax> Command and Conquer? Is that being the movie with
Regis & kathy Lee?

<scummo> I was saying "eat a dick" even then, trying to get
good grades by drawing pictures of shoes
<scummo> a tradition I keep up even today
<scummo> the 4.0 on the 15-page paper about the importance of
midgets and dwarfs in film has to be my crown jewel

[11:29] *** kiwix is now known as kiwiGF
[11:34] *** kiwiGF is now known as kiwix
<mightyflo> that was quick.

(AngelGrl) unix sounds like lego.. am i right?

<therioman> at this rate i'll end up working for some company,
being married and having 4 kids
<therioman> which i will ensure doesn't happen
<therioman> i shall barricade myself with 45U racks

<ScumDog> my first BBS name ever, when I was something like 11
years old, was pothead.
<ScumDog> except that I was named after a local band, and had
no idea what an actual "pothead" was
<ScumDog> so people were always like "Rahhh! 420 4-ever!!!"
and I had no clue what they were talking about

[OutLore  ] horray! my crossover cable worked! putting ends on
is easy....
[madwoota ] if you have a crimper :P
[OutLore  ] took me 45 for the first one, 5 for the second..
:)
[madwoota ] cat5 ends take < 10 seconds
[OpsuPup  ] but you're l33t woota
[OpsuPup  ] how could OutLore possibly hope to compete with
you?
[madwoota ] i know, it's tough, but someone has to be this
good

<Ouroboros> suds: You are drunk, we are sober. Why are you
sad?
<suds> i dunno
<suds> maybe cuz all the chicas at the club were so underage
it was like walkin into jail
*** suds has some standards
<suds> noone under 18
<suds> now that i'm 22
<Ouroboros> I only have 2 standards.
<Ouroboros> A left one and a right one.

*** Now talking in #sandstorm
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­***
Topic is 'http://media.sub-sonix.net:8008 all sandstorm, all
the time... for 60 days until the RIAA starts charging'

<Hostile> Would you eat mung if it tasted like chicken?
<Hostile> Would you eat chicken if it tasted like mung.
<Scofco> ...
<Scofco> what's mung?
<Hostile> It's the stuff inside of a pregnant chick i think.
<Scofco> there's lots of stuff inside pregnant chicks
<Hostile> Yeah, that's mung.

<blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend
and started talking to us
<blazemore> and asking which bands we like
<blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't
heard of any of them
<blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"
<blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"
<ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them
<ScumDog> as a universal message of love
<ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word

<Digital-^> i love brits , every time i hear someone mention a
fag break all i can think of is someone knocking on my door ,
picking me up , and smoking me

<@EvilSxxd> it's a sad sad day when a man lets a woman move
into his balls
<@Vashie> my nutsack is as safe as fort nox
<@EvilSxxd> checked and handled by 1000s of sweaty soldiers a
day?

(seiki) &google inflatable+goat
(fnet) Google (inflatable+goat): http://
www.vacationbibleschool.com/v_newfeatures.html

<@Chaz> How the hell it went through a folded-over (two
layers) sock is beyond me...
<Nyphur> ... o_0

<sTek> "ONLY FRIENDS", i hate those two words
<sTek> even worse than "im pregnant"

<Nall> type /nick newname to fix your name
*** amit is now known as newname

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out
stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net)
has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable

<maff> I've got a riot breaking out in my pants
<D1> need some backup?
<D1> I mean...
<D1> ok, that was really gay.
<maff> I don't get down like that d1
<D1> I apologize.
<Guilty> Why dont you just join the cast of Oz and get it over
with D1

<Detrafilia> One time i was so tired, i had asked 'how are
you?' in rpgamer, and then i looked in a diff query, went back
to rpgamer, saw the 'how are you?' and i go 'oh fine, just a
little sleepy. thanks. You?'

<Panty_HaX0r> I masturbate near constantly, and I have a
steady supply of sex
<Scofco> sex-drives that high should be bottled and sold on
store shelves

<illfates> the first time I had an orgasm
<illfates> i had my dick buried all the way into a stuffed
animal
<illfates> a kangaroo named "Fred"

<cornbeef> 8? i didnt even know what a vagina was at 8
<Scofco> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up
until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta
dish they served in fancy restaurants