<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the
LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms

<Predictable> "Peace, love, and Linux" makes me think of a guy
with excessive facial hair in a tiedye t-shirt, shorts, and
sandals saying "You can't use that distribution MAN" "You
can't like, own an OS, MAN"

<JustOnePepsi> I work at the walmart picture development
center just to jerk off to the pics of naked babies taking
baths

<Rhombus> Rich fat cats hoarding sleep
<Rhombus> cheap taiwanese sleep flooding the market

<Alien> Licking lead is like inviting a bunch of friends into
your mouth but then cancer crashes the party

<Campster> "DOOM 3 WILL BE PRODUCED ON A BUDGET OF 439 DOLLARS
AND A PACKET OF JUICY FRUIT"

<@JP> before i saw miss cleo's commercial, i didn't know there
was a "you are attracted to a large-breasted female co-worker"
card in the tarot deck.

<Real> I found a hooker with a heart of gold.  I TORE IT OUT
AND MELTED IT DOWN FOR DRUG MONEY!

<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to
eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy
with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me
yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring
his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing,
and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing
up.

<@Raz> I LIVE ON THE EQUATOR..."JUAN, THE WATER IS STUCK
AGAIN"

<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was
checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I
noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you
could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to
him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.
<Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he
was half-erect in his pants.
<Spork> Which he was.

<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to
hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap

<Petr> I was at work and I drove by a group of Amish people in
an electric cart full of computer equipment. I've never been
given such an evil eye by so many people at once before.

<L33t_Hax0r> i rev at people at a red light in the galant if
im pretty sure thier car is slow

<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could
take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve
people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis

<wonderllamah> ill bet a banana would kick an apples ass in a
fight beacause it could unpeel itself to have two mighty
banana parts fighting
<wonderllamah> the peel to bind it and the soft core to smash
it into submission.

<Lincoln`s_Wax> "The vacuum of space can suck like a mofo!"
"Captain, get your penis out of the window!

<Bobby> "YOU ARE ONLY CONSIDERED A LOYAL TALIBAN MEMBER IF
YOUR BEARD IS AT LEAST ONE THIRD THE LENGTH OF AN X-BOX
CONTROLLER."

<taz> 0x0020   5018 2238 83c7 0000 4745 5420 6874 7470       
P."8....GET.http
<taz> 0x0030   3a2f 2f77 7777 2e69 6b65 612e 636f 2e75       
://www.ikea.co.u
<taz> 0x0040   6b2f 7072 6f64 7563 745f 7072 6573 656e       
k/product_presen
<taz> 0x0050   7461                                          
ta
<taz> muha
* taz snooping mothers network traffic

<JDigital> I have ops in #pyoko... I put it on my resume along
with my Slashdot karma ;)

<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant
foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would
be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?

<teu> I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my
girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to
double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still
totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with
me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me.
We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally
feel like our relationship is fully equal

<Semi> What are you talking about?
<Rico> Fuck if I know. Your mother, probably.

<Khrosscpp> If by "whup" you mean "penetrate until colon
rupture", I'm way ahead of you.

<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY
HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART
DISEASE.

<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
<Kashan> he's waiting for your call

<Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default
<Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully
body kit :)

*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning
wood

<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death

*** @pHaT|B33R is now known as @pHaT|ZzZz
<@JumperXL> later
<@JumperXL> nite drunkard
<@ismell> l8
<@JumperXL> thats irc dedication. smashed off his gord but
still changes his nick to ZzZz before he passes out.

<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?

<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high!

<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten.
:|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for

<|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can
hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my
girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I
can't get it

<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with
buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to
balance a bucket on your face.

<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone
knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they
vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza
and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way
and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right

<orion> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid
chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized
genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again

<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks
<madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant
even get my panties off in here'

<_8ight> i put a hit of LSD on a hamster's eyeball in high
school
<_8ight> it died that nite :(

<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've
been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly
appreciate. ;-)

<K][cK> just had some cold jack and cock :)

(^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class
(xyst) qurve is freezing his ass?
(bc) qurve is freaking in my ass
(nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS
(xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS
(seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS
(^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends.

<DTOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr?
<DTOX> I'm in the wrong line of work...
<Xyrem> DTOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen
<Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle
<DTOX> and in your pocket
<DTOX> and in your mouth
<DTOX> and in people's drinks

<K34R> im going to buy 6 monitors and a big metal rack and
position them all around me
<K34R> so it will be like im captain of the starship ianprise
<K34R> on a mission to hack the gibson

<D1> dude, I'm so puerto rican.
<Guilty> I dont get it
<BR4D> youre so elton john
<Guilty> That I get

(bc) i have the newest version of windows from microsoft...
Fuck ME

<_Deathbr_> u can update ur sblive value or gamer to a live
5.1
<_Deathbr_> i saw that at friends house and i was like whoa..
u come across some kewl shit while lookn for eprom reading
writing info's
<travolta> you can also find a lot of cool pages if you search
for the word "the"

<memo> > Would you like to go fuck yourself? (Y/N)
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> ITS NOT WORKIGN

<mightyflo> TP-PS2 667 Remote Control: Infrared Transmitter
for PS/PS2
<mightyflo> "Put your gamepad away and watch DVDs with a
wireless remote, just like the pros use! Yeah, pro DVD
watchers, that's right."
<SukiPotato4> Yeah, I have my bachelors in law, but my masters
in DVD watching

<toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade
<toxic> :)
<toxic> no actually not lesbians
<CrdStang> hahaha
<toxic> but that they could finger themselves
<spazzer> lol
<toxic> i was like oh shit! they use pencils too?!
<sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th
grade
<sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin
em round
<sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "
<CrdStang> LOL
<sy|{0ti|{> yeah
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin
school to do it
<sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit
school to do it fulltime