<DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.

<hypr> i rolled once when i saw oakenfold a year ago he played
really gay house and 5 trance songs at the end and my e dident
even work
<matts> your e didn't work? did you read the manual

<FutabaAoi> attractive girls like computers, i carry my case
around town because it attracts chicks
<R0SC0E> no, attractive girls think guys that think girls are
attracted to guys with computers are cute in a hurt puppy kind
of way
<FutabaAoi> dont most people put down hurt puppies?
<FutabaAoi> does that mean attractive girls shoot computer
nerds?
<R0SC0E> god i don't mean puppies with like missing limbs or
exposed viscerals

<@wickedsun> I dont know the difference between games and
reality anymore
<@wickedsun> I jsut used a shotgun on my mother and she's not
respawning

<k|aNk> everyone loves phillipino women
<Acidfreak> i prefer tai or chinese women on philipinos
<k|aNk> i heard somewhere philipino women can contort theyre
bodies into all kids of positions for sex
<k|aNk> especially when they wear those big hoop earings,
theyre good for sticking their ankles through

[mad] WHAT KINDA PRESIDENT DO WE GOT ANYWAYZ
[mad] HE SMOKES WEED AND DONT INHALE
[mad] GETS A BLOW JOB AND DONT CUM
[mad] I MEAN CMON.

[idlez-] > trik: why doesn't anyone have your pic
[idlez-] [Trik] idlez-, no scanner
[idlez-] [Trik] faggot
[idlez-] > no
[idlez-] > when you scan it
[idlez-] > your hard drive reports bad sectors

[dj-fieX] why is everyone so scared of the y2k? isnt it a kind
of jelly or something?

[Wz0Ds] hello i want some root i got a lots of CCs (verified)
and 2 or 3 virgins /msg me (I HAVE TO VER/RIP FIRST)

<base2> linux people think of windows more times a day than I
think of sex

<kriticall> i can fold the $20 to look like two naked chicks

<Gir> Final Fantasy: The Bible Adventure Coming to DVD
<Toen> what the hell is that?
<Gir> hehe
<Toen> "Cecil, deliver baby Moses! Please do not throw him
into the water!"

<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future

<madvirii> you gotta wake up with a certain "attitude" to face
the day and lick some asshole
<CoMBo> yeah or grow up eating some really shitty cooking to
acquire a taste for anus
<madvirii> yes anus would be an acquired taste
<madvirii> not something you instinctively put to your mouth

<ackbar> marriage is like buying a car. Its better to lease
them and get a new one next year

<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number
to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your
phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"

<splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
<splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
<purenergy> ya
<purenergy> u can do that now
<purenergy> use ur imagination
<splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl
in a bar
<splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her
spatch
<splurge> wiggle it around
<splurge> vibrate
<splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
<splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a
seat beside you
<splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny

<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody.
shes not around,
he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you
fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?

<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck
are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden?
Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"

<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's
performance accordingly

<Kuiburetsu> I feel betrayed
<Kuiburetsu> denied
<Kuiburetsu> and... and...
<Kuiburetsu> erm...
<Kuiburetsu> about to be kicked for flooding
*** Kuiburetsu was kicked by Quiby (flood)

<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)

<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain
and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked
out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain

<SDHawk> I tried to go to dictionary.com, but I can't spell it
right.

<charon> <danybear:#bearcave> danybear is a six one, 210 lb,
hairy leatherbear in Toronto, 50 years old, 6 uncut
<charon> whatever you do, don't join #bearcave asking for
warez
<FishBulb_> charon: uncut means 0-day you tard

<Spooooky> Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell,
I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking?
<Spooooky> They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from
him"
<Spooooky> Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the
catcher

<PhantomOfTheRouter> never got another call from them till
they bought a new accounting package that needed Win95
<PhantomOfTheRouter> and Novell for the servers..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> went in to upgrade the machines..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> moved the first 2 workgroup servers to
Novell 4.11
<PhantomOfTheRouter> couldn't find the third
<PhantomOfTheRouter> asked them where they moved it to...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> umm, moved ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> yeah, where did you move WKG3SRV to ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> ummm...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> we didn't change anything
<PhantomOfTheRouter> You had to have moved it when you
remodelled the office! The wiring closet in the hall is
gone...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> oh shit!

<mendel> now that I think of it, O'Reilly is to a system
administrator
<mendel> as a shoulder length latex glove is to a vetinarian.

[Synoptica] Just when you thought porn spam couldn't stoop any
lower...
[Synoptica] 'DOGFART SLUTS!'

<A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
<DarthJesus> I dunno'
<DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do
anything for you
<A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.

<GreetServ> [A|exander] l44t
<notrino> laat ?
<A|exander> yeah
<A|exander> its one better than l33t
<notrino> err..yeah better than
<notrino> l33t :D
<A|exander> you're getting it
<notrino> than , why not 99 ?
<A|exander> small steps man, small steps

<evenpar123> I am so going to be moderated for that last
comment...
<mightyflo> console wars are stupid. people that get involved
with console wars are even stupidder
<evenpar123> Console wars?  I was just giving some
information, and making fun of the fact that his parents don't
love each other anymore

<+mirkin> does anybody know if it is possible using ms access
to create a report which shows the records of a table
<+mirkin> but shows 3 columns across the page
<+mirkin> i.e
<+mirkin> record 1        record 2        record 3
<+mirkin> record 4        record 5        record 6
<+GoodScrat> That is impossible
<+GoodScrat> Computers are not that far advanced yet

<]SpIkE[> HELP ME!!! my 120 chipset monitor 17 inch with
Gforce 4 doesn't support the internet!

(skankman) apparently i have tasty jizz
(skankman) i heard paper crumpling in the hallway
(skankman) and i went to check it out
(skankman) and my dog was licking a piece of paper with my
jizz on it

<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go
to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door
one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom
door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret
passage

<scar_> what was the fastest vehicle in ww2?
<Hatter> ?
<Hatter> Jet
<Hatter> ww2 saw the first jet engine
<scar_> no, silly
<scar_> a jew on a bicycle through berlin
<Hatter> :\

<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.

<djm> irc's my anti-drug

<dk> im trying out tantric peeing

<guest> u kno what rules
<guest> introducing girls to pot
<yesue> no lie
<guest> u smoke pot alone with a girl for the first time
<guest> there is a 250% chance of getting laid

<prym> little did i know later in my life id come to terms
with things like
31337, 69, and 187

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as
me it's bm
being an asshole -          
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

<p> sux when u have a problem so u eat a cup of pudding and
then u still
have problem

<JDigital> Kazz, I think they're pretty obvious going on your
reputed dicksize.
<JDigital> Kazz has a 183948192 inch dick.
<dregan> Kazz - envy of every man, dog and skyscraper
architect on the hemisphere.

<Grizzly_Addams> So? I just want your Mac address.
<AngryChicken> ...this is a PC ;-)

<Urganite> THERE ARE NO BAGELS BUT ONION, AND MOHAMMED IS HIS
PROPHET
<Urganite> ...
<OneiWilly> you are worshipping a false bagel

<Anton> I can see myself reinstalling windows
<A|exander> wow, are you having an out of body experience?

<razorjd1> But i know what's first person shoter better than
any body here!!!!
<razorjd1> why ppl think that 14 years old boy can't
understand in computers???
<razorjd1> what the fuck is ur prob, son tof the bitches???
<razorjd1> i play UT all day and u say that i don't know
what's first person shoter is???
<razorjd1> i overclock since i was 10 so don't call me stupid,
i understand in computers better than any one here.
<razorjd1> Beware, or else i will hack to ur computer...
<razorjd1> Fuck u all!!!

<bytraper> sheesh... I crashed the last company car I had :/
<bytraper> I pulled the sun visor down and a spider with 15
legs dropped from it
<girlie-> 15 legs.. lol
<Dark_un> thats almost 2 spiders