<Empathy> I wanna crap, but my mother's in bed and dropping
logs'd wake her up

<iggypop> licking my own sweaty balls > quicktime

<steveac> tough to do when you type with 1 finger on the
keyboard and yoyur dick in your other hand

<Antarius> Are you a dork if you can read digdug.cx/quotes and
recognize people regularly?

<kt> i need a job, badly.
<kt> maybe i should hang out with some black people
<kt> i mean go to the unemployment office.

<syncretic> whats the best program for capping tv
<JtHM> Handgun v2.4b

<Antarius> Say 'silk' 5 times, now spell 'silk': What do cows
Drink?
<kruqnut> milk?

<Pi> GMT is the best
<Pi> coslike
<Pi> everyone else is wrong

<BCow> Often I see the first year students strut past in their
skin tight white outfits and I just drop my dacks and say,
"Over here girls!"

<@fragility> why is my modems "activity" lite flashing like
crazy??
*** fragility
(fragility@lsanca1-ar14-4-47-119-104.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net)
Quit (Ping timeout)

<space> got any good tunes to spare?
<ToRMeNTeD> tons
<ToRMeNTeD> what kind
<space> whatever
<space> im easy
<ToRMeNTeD> thas what Im listening to now
<space> lol shit i got no speakers yet brb
<ToRMeNTeD> askin fer music wif no speakas
<ToRMeNTeD> sprocket what are we gonna do wif you
<PsyHawk> like a blind man asking for magnifying glass
<ToRMeNTeD> classic
<space> heheh lame award
<space> im like that fucker sent me blank tracks

<quacky> if you get carpal tunnel from giving handjobs, can
you still get L&I from work?
<Captain_Tenille> Depends if it's job related, I guess.
<Buggy> hmmm... if the handjobs are for managers, maybe
<geekie> technically...you just have to give the handjob at
work.
<geekie> and then management is responisble for said handjob
<Buggy> well, it's not really in my job description.. but
maybe it's in yours
<geekie> no..if the accident occurs in the workplace, they are
liable.
<Buggy> right, so if it's an accidental handjob...
<quacky> that's what I'm talking about.
<Buggy> or an accident occurs while doing the handjob
<quacky> only we're talking about handjob-related injuries
<geekie> right.

<Linguica> I was on the phone
<Linguica> with a girl who i am pretty sure likes me
<Linguica> and i saw this
<mewse_> heh
<Linguica> and i was like "i have to go now"
<mewse_> haha
<mewse_> batman dons his cowl

<Jon-> tom
<Jon-> imagine if your ISP pulled cable
<Jon-> what would you do?
<mewse> quit irc?
<mewse> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<mewse> hah.

<mewse> oh my fuck this is so cool
<mewse> a time-lapse movie of an aquarium of magic mushrooms
growing

<mewse> i got moderated as a troll on slashdot for defending
the mummy returns

<mewse> i bet she was really hot in preschool

<@mewse> man i had this new jacket for like 3 days before i
got puke on it
<@mewse> that must be some sort of record

<@mewse> contrary to popular belief there are periods where i
dont feel like drinking
<@mewse> these periods, i call "hangovers"

< BigBadGangsta> I swear, I need to write a book called
"Stupid shit for stupid fucks"
<@mewse> by a retard, for retards

<someone>: how good does txt compress?
<overmind>: rather good, they often can be compressed to 10%
of their original volume
<someone>: no, i meant which one compresses better doc-files
or txt, because I want to export my icq-history and in word it
has 600 pages, so which one should i take?
<overmind>: take word and set the font size to 1, so you get
the best compression

<Diamond> There's about 800 people tied up in my basement.
<Prophet> Oh my
<Prophet> What do you use them for?
<mordac> They really bring the room together, you know?

<br4dh4x0r> if you r 1337, show me your gibson
<br4dh4x0r> wait, that sounds wrong

<CrazySpence> e-mail is just really lagged irc

Droogie1115: my grandma is coming dowm tommorrow and my mom is
going to uconn on sunday
Droogie1115: its going to fucking suck
Droogie1115: i cant stand my grandma being here
Droogie1115: because when she is here i cant sleep past 7 30
napalm 256: she wake u up
Droogie1115: because she wakes up and takes the nastiest dump
that smells up teh whole house and i just wanna kill myself

<@primig> why is duct tape like the force
<@primig> it has a dark and a light side
<@primig> and it holdes the universe together

<techzen> fuck lsd
<techzen> i mean dsl

<VOLVORacr> hello
<VOLVORacr> why are so many pepole here but nobody is chatting
<sc1> i'm masturbating
<sc1> leave me alone

<chrish> I'd like to know what sort of one-eyed crack whores
do the QA testing at ATI.
<AGoddess> the kind that like to shove anything in their
pussy?
<chrish> porcupines and cacti are available in the lounge

<ErikN|WORK> do you have sdl installed?
<savepotatoes> think so
<ErikN|WORK> hmmm
<savepotatoes> probably
<ErikN|WORK> are you sure?
<savepotatoes> yea
(time passes...)
<savepotatoes> whats sdl?

<SkoroWork> Xyverz: where is this coming from?
<Beryllium> geekissues.com/quotes ...
<SkoroWork> ahh
<SkoroWork> ok
<SkoroWork> thought he was in some lame IRC channel somewhere
and thought we wanted to see the lame discussions going on
there :-P

<Pirificio> Anyone on here with a higher level of Estrogin
than Testoterone?
<mogismog> lemme guess, you don't have a girlfriend?

<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?!  it'll take you all day to download that
bagel!

<Ron`> My wife doesn't get paid for 2 years
<HeroShot> What is she, a whore?
<Ron`> Actually, one night I came home and I found 200 dollars
on my dresser...
<Phrak|t> Damn... she left $400 on mine

<Second-Child> spring rolls? isn't ben vegetarian?
<tef> maybe he doesn't count cat as meat?

(CitizenC): Hey, here's a question for ya.. what if Jesus was
gay?
(CitizenC): You know what? I bet he was.
(CitizenC): Walking around in that desert with his apostles
forever?
(CitizenC): They didn't have porn back then, which left only
two options:
(CitizenC): * Beat off behind a mountain somewhere to memories
of Mary, or
(CitizenC): * Say "Yo!  Deciples!  Suck my cock!  I'm the son
of God!"
(CitizenC): Personally, I think that second one is much more
likely.

(CitizenC): I spilled my ashtray all over my computer earlier
today.
(CitizenC): Son of a bitch.
(CitizenC): Took forever to clean up.
(CitizenC): At least I don't have to empty my ashtray now.

<akii> what happens when disney goes bankrupt?
<akii> does walt get unfrozen?
<nigd> haahha
<nigd> how pissed would you be
<nigd> "IM ALIVE!"
<nigd> "yes"
<nigd> "Did you cure me?"
<nigd> "no"
<nigd> "Why unfreeze me then?"
<nigd> "You're going broke"
<nigd> "fuck."

<Vhata> #linux is one of those...
<Vhata> things
<Vhata> what do you call a project that is no longer being
maintained?
<Nimnod> a failure.
<Vhata> heh

<ICIST> I get that warm and fuzzy feeling
<@Deth> like when you pee your pants?
<ICIST> kinda
<ICIST> more like when i shit myself

<Agent_grey> Scanner works! scanner wooooorrrkss!!
<artforz> how did you make it work?
<Agent_grey> its very very technical and scientific, involving
the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its
structural integrity
<Agent_grey> i whacked it really really hard

<shoryu909> I wanna be the dell kid.
<@pheer> why?
<shoryu909> He's the most honest person I know.
<zeratul> besides Jesus you mean
<shoryu909> yeah, but jesus has an action figure. Sellout!

<sine> "You couldn't get a stroke of genius if you were giving
a handjob to Einstein."

<dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look
towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
<dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
<dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
<heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to
dance.
<heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing
like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
<heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like
the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.

<weezyl> I figured I'd just fellate my students for the
protein.

<wisner> I walked past a protest on Market Street yesterday
evening.
<wisner> I didn't burst out laughing, but I really had to work
for it.
<wisner> It was JEWISH LESBIANS FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
<wisner> There was singing.

<gkm> mmm, me.
<garandou> glen - when you say 'mmm me' i can't help but
imagine you rubbing your nipples
<gkm> mmm, nipples.
<gkm> i'm as happy as a little girl.

<ZangTT> it's like a massive 300 story zombie john maynard
keynes is wandering through california, tearing down buildings
and breathing fire.

<sommerfeld> perl: what you get when you take a couple
features from every known language and toss them in a blender.
<sommerfeld> with 20g of crack and a dab of lsd
<perry> sommerfeld: the LSD is purely for flavor.

<Paeyl> Sometimes I yearn for the peace and simplicity of a
low-stress startup job