<Ophiel> someone asked me if LOL was a different version of
AOL :O

<NapkinEater> I had a dream about a game show where parents
compete to see who can keep their baby in the freezer the
longest.

<sm4k> i wish you could record dreams
<sm4k> i'd have the best porn

<j4yj0hn> oh, a kid in my class got called to the office for
stalking a girl
<Threeboy> strange kids.
<j4yj0hn> she caught him in her yard with a camera
<Threeboy> just say it was a project.
<Threeboy> unless he was naked.
<Threeboy> then say it was an ART project.

<Kosta> I'm paying for 4 different hot chicks' EQ accounts in
the hopes that one of them will put out.

<Thamwlad> i'll attempt to disbelieve the floor

<uiop> go read a book with that guy from star trek
<pork> which one
<pork> DOUG MULRAY DOUG MULRAY
<uiop> that black one, who was always reading on PBS
<uiop> take a look, its in a book, a reading negro.
<pork> oh him
<jre-la> CONCLUSION: there's only one negro that can read

<Marvin> I've found one, and only one practical application
for "13375p33k"
<Marvin> secure passwords

<htedrom> o youz b3 1 d3d m0th4fuck4
<Cyrus> ladies and gentlemen, i point out the product of
today's society
* Cyrus points to htedrom
* nullroot slaps a "As Seen On MTV" sticker on htedrom

<StorDuff> meatball, we should start a channel for n00bs like
us
<Meatball> htf do u make a channel

<|-|LoD|-|> What website?
<danno> one of my side employments
<danno> redesigning the website for a dance studio
<danno> my girlfriend is a teacher there
<|-|LoD|-|> ooh
<|-|LoD|-|> Dancers are flexible ^_^
<danno> ya
<danno> but they can also kick hard >_<

<Peter> Can I help you John?
<HuH> just call me father penis
<Peter> In that case, call me Lorena Bobbit.
* Peter sets mode: +b *!*Da@*.ath.bellsouth.net
* HuH was kicked by Peter (Bye!)

<+Spoofthemonkey> hello?
<@[TSE]yanki> hi
<@[TSE]yanki> hi
<+Spoofthemonkey> can you guys see what i am typing?
<@[TSE]yanki> no
<@[SHQ]AgentAndy_eating> nope
<+Spoofthemonkey> ? seriously?
<@[TSE]yanki> nope
<+Spoofthemonkey> what can i do to change it so you can see
what i type?
<@[TSE]yanki> i dunno, maybe if you leave it will get fixed
Spoofthemonkey «jirc@cs24174148-203.satx.rr.com» has Quit iRC

<nem0> you gotta pee on jellyfish stings to make it better
<nem0> wonder if that'd work on Rey's foot?
<REY> tried it.
<boorman> i tend to just pee on people on the OFF CHANCE that
theyve got a jelyfish sting. One day, ill save a life doin
that

<Nope> I wonder if IRCops know what a wingate is?
*** Quits: Nope (Nope@sju-12-16-46-200.prw.net) (Killed
(OperServ))
<@^_-> APPARENTLY.

<Apollo-> ok, now this is messed up...I work on the 8th floor,
I got on the elevator on 1, I was the only person on.  I
farted, the elevator stops at 2 and someone gets on and rides
all the way up to 6
<TenBaseT> I hate that.
<TenBaseT> did you try to cover?
<Apollo-> No, but I thought about it
<Apollo-> he had a bag of burger king food, I almost said
"Man, your food reeks"

<yarokod> does alcohol remove permanent ink from a cd?
<defused> dunno...it does remove clothes on young females tho

<Rayne> I need to talk to you about the amount of time your
spending "IRL"
<Rayne> how do you know you can trust these "IRL" friends
<Rayne> have you /ns infoed them?

X3R0G33Z: wut do u mean typing like an aol dumbass

<Mime> You had sex with the little mermaid!?
<PeeTree> hahaha
<Phyresis> that's gross
<Phyresis> does she even have a... a...
<Phyresis> does it smell like people?

<moe_> Hello, can someone answer my question : how can I call
a bool function from another function? I am trying if (!
Class::function()) { cout << "error
"; exit(-1);  }
<moe_> but it is not working
<moe_> it prints error

<blender> mmm halloween candy
<BloodNose> kid
<blender> adult
<sevr> sounds like a match made in nambla to me
* BloodNose moves closer to blender
* blender runs in horror

<PamelaPeaks> i love when you start at a computer screen for a
long time and words start to meld...
<PamelaPeaks> so the "Harry Potter Box Set" becomes the "Harry
Potter Sex Bot"

<Derian> Guys, I'll be back in a few minutes. My bedroom's on
fire.
<Bryan_Clark> I don't know what's worse... the fact that it's
on fire, or the fact that she actually took the time to *tell*
us that it's on fire.....

<Goten> hello i have this problem i had this floppy disc and i
had my modules on it but when i put it down and put a magnet
on it, the disc was corrupt? what could have happened

<az__> fuck I think I drank plaster
<mc> you drank plaster?
<az__> well theres something in my water
<mc> that could be interesting.. you might crap out a perfect
model of your intestines :P

<mycroft> I just got an email about getting access to 230,000
porno sites  I'll see you guys tomorrow.

<ibor132> on irc, if you dont have a picture you are
automaticly a 50 year old man with a bucket of KFC in one hand
and your dick in the other
<mulletman13> but in reality they are 45 year old x-con child
rapists who get off to you...

(RattX) my mate got slapped by a fat chick today
(RattX) she came up to us and asked him how fat people have
sex and if they have to pull the flab up
(RattX) he turned around and said :"you should know u fat
bitch"

<-- Samah has quit (Quit: public boolean hasALife() return
false;)

<NS85> back, i had this fuckin white stuff on my lip
<Red185> .. Well i COULD say something distasteful like, "is
that milk on your lip or are you back in buisness?" but i
wont.
<NS85> Gee thanks.
<Red185> Np!

<humble> for every job there is an appropriate tool
<anal-ease> that's what she told me
<anal-ease> as she pulled out the 12" dildo

<fiveiron> where is that new space software
<fiveiron> that lets you fly through the universe
<la_haine> i think that's more commonly known as 'LSD'

<Llarack>  You are what you eat ^_^
<Iskandor>  I AM NOT A PUSSY
<Iskandor>  >_>
<Kletian>  yeah, you're a dick.

<Jedateach> anyone in here got a spare xtra dialup account I
can use
<_Godless_> lol. yeah ... sure ... no realy ... have my first
born too while yer at it.

CodeMaster007x2: I gotta go play "drums" with my sister..brb

(@RattX) i almost got a mate hit by a car, he was stoned and i
told him there were these really cool stripes in the middle of
the road

(@Hanky) does anyone in here no if Tupac Shakur still has a
web site?
(@DCx3) yer he updates it regulary

(ratt) is ur sister hot ?
(obo-(a)) she's taken =p
(haze) INCEST

<Chris974> my logon on this computer doesnt let my use
expolorer or oh thats right ANY FUCKING THING so i have to use
my cousin's logon and he is like 6, how demeaning
<DJ_Random> you think THAT'S demeaning?? you should have seen
what i did to ya mum last night

-ChanServ- Welcome to #abichat, the asshole of the Internet!

<dr_qous> it's nice when people call me 'hon'
<kmcwork> hey 'hon', pass me the lube

<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money
for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> lol...
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> haha
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union
centre: priceless

-ChanServ- (#help) >>>READ THIS<<< AUTH INSTRUCTIONS: /msg
authserv@services.gamesnet.net auth <handle> <password>
<Hk> Plz... How do I auth with chanserv?

! @Snuffy wonders why jiesal doesnt take the 20mins needed to
learn irc
( jiesal ) because i'm a girl

<durn> are u _the_ r0b0c0d?
<r0b0c0d> yes bish
<durn> omfg everyone is talking about u, u ddos attacking
dalnet??
<r0b0c0d> is the pope fuckin old?

<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door
<QJ> while you were wanking?
<knox> yep
<knox> it was worse than that
<QJ> she finished you off??

<Abbazab> okay, next time ur with a chick and ur bumpin and
grindin, give a nice rub right where the leg meets the croch
and tell me that sweat doesnt smell like the back of ur nuts
<datagram`> why the fuck would you want to smell the back of
your nuts while you're fucking

*Duck has joined #linux
<Duck> does anyone know how to fix my harddisk memory when i
get the error: After you restart your system, check that you
have sufficient hard disk memory secured.
<@Cradly> Duck try not filling your hard drive 100%
<Duck> how do i not do that

<Killrbyte> In Oregon, they give food stamps on a debit-type
card, called the Oregen Trail card.  But they're given in two
ways: Either Cash or Food.  If its Food, then they can only
buy Food with it, if its Cash (Which is rare), then they can
anything, or even just cash out the card when it gets
recharged automatically.  I'm not sure who gets which, but I
know my tax money goes to it.
<Prozzy> The Oregeon Trail Card, do you have to shoot buffalo
also if you have the card? What about your family, if they're
starving or dying, can you just take them out back and shoot
them?
<qrg> whev youve nearly run out of credit on your oregon trail
card do you get to take a raft ride
<arse-poet> i love the really old school oregon trail game,
where you go hunting and you like shoot a pixel at a blob of
pixels representing a buffalo
<Prozzy> I know when I carry around my Orgeon Trail Card,
Indians come out of nowhere and shoot arrows at my car