<xcham> I'm going to move to the middle east and start a
gentleman's club
<xcham> and call it "the Gaza Strip"

<Smir> you've read that file about electronic stimulation of
the penis?
<ManMower> uh no
<Smir> I'm sure you did
<ManMower> if I read a file about electronic stimulation of
the penis, I
would likely remember it
<ManMower> and possibly be in the hospital

<hash---> back everything up on 45rpm vinyl
<ManMower> hash---: I have 80 lbs of porn on vinyl in my
closet
<xbane> manmower: i have 130lbs of porn in my closet
<xbane> (dead hooker)

<ManMower> I need like $800
<ManMower> to have 4 twisted peices of pain pulled out of my
pussing mouth.
<g33k> ManMower: whoa. you going to an extra-value dentist?
<ManMower> g33k: what, it costs more than that?
<g33k> I paid $400, and that was only 20%
<g33k> so, $2000
<ManMower> $2000? I can get D cup tits and a 16" dick for
$2000!

<ManMower> tcp/ip has been around forever
<ManMower> since before computers
<ManMower> mailmen used tcp/ip to deliver packages

* Joins: Thogart
(~Womper85@44.31.171.66.subscriber.vzavenue.net)
<Thogart> Tampa is the lightning capital of the world..
<Thogart> and its storming..
<Apsy|Laundry> And you think its smart to be online Thogart?
<Thogart> Well... yea.
<Thogart> I mean, my house has been hit twice before so whats
the chance of it happening 3 times...
<Cuda> Thogart, quite good :p
*** Quits: Thogart (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

<e3^Tony-M-LD> how do u get pics from your digital camera to
your cpu - i plugged the cord into the usb now what? pm me
<UsTeD> you sound like a macintosh switchover commercial :/

::: Join: (unixuser00) (twtechie@AC9CC08D.ipt.aol.com)

<_ry0suke_> CRANK DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING
<VgameT> I'VE BEEN NOTICING THAT RECENTLY
<craNKGod> RYO I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF
<craNKGod> GO AHEAD
<craNKGod> ASK ME
<VgameT> CRANKGOD WHAT'S THE LAST DIGIT OF THE IP
REPRESENTATION OF A /28 NETMASK
<VgameT> IN DECIMAL
<nondescript> DASH OFF TO GOOGLE, BEFORE ANYONE GETS
SUSPICIOUS THAT YOU DON'T KNOW!
<craNKGod> 0
<VgameT> AS YOU CAN SEE
<VgameT> CRANK ONLY KNOWS TOTALLY USELESS SHIT
<craNKGod> WHAT'S GOOGLE

<Phreak407> why the fuck is there purple m&ms in this bag?
<Anti-Social> Because they're tryin to tell you you're gay
<Phreak407> oh

<Cringer> By an 8-1 vote Monday, the members of the U.S.
Supreme Court collectively resolved to lose their virginity by
Dec. 31, 2002.
<danhon> Who gave the dissenting opinion?
<Cringer> I bet Scalia.

<Xiautau> my nose is running like a negro out of a convinence
store

<Mime> It's getting hard for me now :
<Mime> Last few levels of Normal, then on to Hard.
<Mime> Atom Smasher = bastard
<Sigma> <Mime> It's getting hard for me now
<Mime> ..
<Sigma> I love those wacky out of context quotations
<Mime> ¬.¬
<MightyBlueJustice> Someone make a joke pertaining to Mime's
penis and his "getting hard" comment please.
<MightyBlueJustice> Oh, there we go.

<Vel> 9th graders are in 8th grade or 7th grade
<Vel> err 13 year olds*

<DarQ> Just think about it... Who would know better how to
please a man ? A man or a woman ?
<Sway> damn right
<Sway> a man
<Sway> a rough and hairy man
<Sultan> Your sick, lol
<DarQ> That's not sick...
<DarQ> That's being realistic.

<BlackComb> any 1 have 04-ja_rule-leaving_
(always_on_time_pt_ii_ft_ja_rule)-brm.mp3
<DvsG> ja rule featuring ja rule?
<DvsG> that's twice the gayness
<DvsG> woohoo

<SI-pHluid> so I had to go to the bathroom with a face full of
fucking cum and wash that shit off

<Quik> Quake is the mother of all games!
<fridaY13th>  yes... a very old and ugly mother.

<Rhyos> Anyone wanna hear a bad geology joke?
<Midknight> go on, humor us
<Rhyos> Ok. A bit of background.
<Rhyos> Everyone know what halite is?
<Midknight> if it fails then you will have to be killed a most
imaginative and horrible way :)
<Rhyos> It's just a big block of salt.
<Rhyos> *not the joke*
<Rhyos> Anyways, basalt is the stuff that's on the ocean
floor.
<Rhyos> So... what do geologists call the stuff on the ocean
floor?
<LordJD> fish shit
<Rhyos> Sheep halite. *it was on a test* Fish shit is probably
even funnier.

<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit
of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively

<`KArmA> and now, an Ode to Redhat 8, in free verse
<`KArmA> I heard that you were cool
<`KArmA> I read the reviews which said you were
<`KArmA> I downloaded your isos and burned you to CD
<`KArmA> The install was beautiful
<`KArmA> You loaded just fine
<`KArmA> But your network configuration sucked and you lied to
me about my soundcard
<`KArmA> Then you wouldn't update your software like you said
you would
<`KArmA> you lied repeatedly to me about my kerberos 5
libraries
<`KArmA> the sound still won't work despite your assurances
<`KArmA> and I'm left rage hating you, your company, the
development community that spawned you and Linus Torvalds
himself
<`KArmA> Fuck you Red Hat 8, if you are the example of what
Linux Desktops are supposed to bbe
<`KArmA> then I will continue to use OpenBSD
<`KArmA> . . .
<`KArmA> thank you
* JaG cheers
<phr0work> hehe
<phr0work> that was pretty nice karma
<DesScorp> ha ha ha ha
<`KArmA> see? poetry does not suck r0b
<`KArmA> it just has to hit you in the right spot
<phr0work> hehe
<`KArmA> and if anyone posts that to bash.org I'm going to jam
my Redhat 8 install CDs up your ass sideways
<DesScorp> you could've just done a Haiku......"Red Hat sucks
my cock......OpenBSD rolls over the penguin......As I shave
Linus Torvald's Mother's back"

<_overkill> how do you eat high protein
<EnchWORK> bukkake

<The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont
like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
<Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
<Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
<Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"

<Ethrakus> is partitioning your HD that risky?
<Ceiri> partitioning a hard drive is like cutting a pizza into
slices
<forvrin> With a baseball bat

<@Mi3Z> and im only on 56k
<@Mi3Z> takes about 2 hourse for win2k SP3 on this
<@Mi3Z> hours*
<@Cheez> 2 horses for a service pack?
<@Cheez> doesnt sound like a fair deal to me
<@Mi3Z> yea i know
<@Mi3Z> they rip you off like fuck, you know what MS are like
<@Cheez> still, winXP SP1 checks to see if the horses are
stolen :o

<Tispie> Well..Iam formatting my computer..so i want to save
my quake files..but they are way too big for a disk
<Sulyspa> Use a CD?
<Lyssa> Gahhh its Tisp
<Tispie> stfu Lyssa. Iam not in the mood
<Lyssa> haha
<Tispie> Suly, do I not need a burner? I dont know how to put
it to a cd lol
*** Quits: Pati` (nukkumahan)
<Thogart> formating always puts people in bad moods..
<Thogart> its like loosing a part of your soul..

<pubatch> i saw the funniest fucking thing last night
<pubatch> i was driving home and this guy walks out in the
crosswalk when im barreling towards it
<pubatch> it turns out to be a blind guy with his big gay
white stick, and a yellow jacket with SECURITY written on the
back
<pubatch> i donno what the fuck he was guarding but im pretty
sure its stolen by now

<pubatch> any idea how to find out a phones phone number?
<pubatch> i cant call my regular line, my parents are in bed
* verve thinks
<pubatch> its not written on the machine, or on the phone it
goes to either
<verve> i know, just call the operator and ask :P
<pubatch> hah, 'where am i!?'

<pubatch> my night was much less exciting, I had to explain to
my xgirlfriend why I gave her mother the finger last night. it
was a big misunderstanding, but i didnt handle it well. "Did
you give my mom the finger last night??" 'HAHAH, YES! HAHA'

<Sart> WASHINGTON   The Supreme Court said Tuesday it will
decide if public libraries can be forced to install software
that blocks sexually explicit Web sites, the latest in
Congress' string of attempts to shield children from Internet
pornography.
<Dark-e> ack
<Dark-e> why would anyone goto a libary
<Dark-e> if that passed

<saloo> hey wanna chat;)?
<Nataliehotgurl16> yeah hot guy
<saloo> a/s/l
<saloo> u thr
<Nataliehotgurl16> 16/f/ca
<saloo> 29/m here
<saloo> wanna talk sex;)?
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE

<beamz> do they sell penis warmers like those 9volt
handwarming gloves/
<Nik> yea, they are called "hookers"

<wild`> Afghanistan Quick Facts: Life Expectancy 46.62 male,
45.1 female (2000 est.) <<<soon to be revised

<@WSBN-MeBaD> Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his
five wives?
<@WSBN-MeBaD> Because every time he spreads their legs he sees
Bush.

* typobox43 looks for life
<Marie> try out of IRC :p
<typobox43> WHAT?!
<typobox43> :P
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> you mean there is such a place?
<Marie> you know, close the IRC screen and sign offline? :)
* typobox43 shudders at the though
<typobox43> *thought
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> my vocal organs are underdeveloped... i don't
think i'd get very far
<typobox43> although i think i'd win a thumb war in a
heartbeat
<Craig> join #reallife
<Craig> ?
<typobox43> --- Cannot join #reallife (Channel is invite
only).

<kolby> I'm up at UT and my friend fucked Chris Simms but
would never give me his number, she left her phone here...I'm
so gonna get laid
<KenKaniff> Who
<KenKaniff> Wait
<kolby> Chris Simms is the QB for U.T.   I don't know, he's
famous here
<KenKaniff> Are you a girl?
<KenKaniff> Because if you arent
<kolby> and he's also a douche bag
<KenKaniff> You're talking about getting fucked by a guy
<kolby> im a guy
<KenKaniff> And that would make you gay
<kolby> you're talking about little boys
<KenKaniff> I'm Ken Kaniff.
<KenKaniff> Thats what I do
* kolby was kicked by timmo (GAY KICK)

[Sober|wrk]: Christina Aguilera's Nipple Tweaker Goes on
Strike
[pHluid-]: This dude *quit* being Christina Aguilera's nipple
tweaker?
[Sober|wrk]: hehehe
: pHluid- is away: Making a resume.

<comet_11> efnet's just like dalnet except no services and we
have 'servers' instead of 'occasional connectivity emulators'

<fireslide> i turned the windows narrator on
<fireslide> it funny as hell :)
<Tolkien`> what does it do?
<fireslide> it narrates stuff man
<Tolkien`> like the text on the screen?
<fireslide> yes
<Tolkien`> is it for deaf people
<Tolkien`> or something?

<fats> whats a kernel?
<_astrodz_> kernel is the man who made kfc!
<fats> huh?
<_astrodz_> his chicken is built from source

<HSOK> my dad just came up stairs, he said i was playing my
music too loud
<HSOK> im using headphones

<je> my PC died completely as it booted tonight .. lights come
on but nothing happens
<je> now I'm stuck with ye olde PC that doesn't even have a
good enough vid card to show flesh tones
<reverend> stop looking at pr0n

<LieparDestin> i challenged god to a duel once
<LieparDestin> the next day my rabbit died
<LieparDestin> i guess i lost :(

<eDRoaCH-nothere> akuma noticed me
<Nariz> "noticed" you? so you were hiding and he saw your big
ass behind the curtians?
<Nariz> you should never hide behind the curtians
<Nariz> i've tried it before, it doesn't work...
Nariz was kicked by eDRoaCH-nothere (/notice Nariz ur an
idiot)

<LARZ_GOD_ME> lets see back 2 gta3 or back to studing
<LARZ_GOD_ME> which one
<darque9> considering your spelling, i'd say "studing"

<nroklost> your life is a lie
<somery> dood i'm just talkin' about your mullet, don't get
all existential on me

<Musc> hm
<Musc> a dog with a fatty p00n would clearly be preferable to
assraping a male dog

<wolfstg> I stopped watching wrestling when i got gay.

surfichris: hey, do u know c++
surfichris: or c
Kasper_2010: well, i can see, i dont know about the ++ bit

<StoneColdSpider> YAY IM FINALY BACK ON FFS!!!!!
<k> worst 5 mins of your life eh scs
<k> you missed
<k> [16:30] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has joined #NV
<k> [16:35] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has left #NV
<k> ;p