<Japhro> I like my coffee like I like my women: $2.50

MetalMantisX: ozzy's daughter obviously got none of her
fathers talent
KennyGetsum: both of the kids look like the mom.. ud never
guess they were even related to Ozzy
MetalMantisX: his other daughter looks like him though
MetalMantisX: the smart one, thats not on the show
KennyGetsum: ya cause she was concieved while ozzys blood
alcohol content was under 20%

[gsf]Tomato: It's only rape if you don't take them out to
dinner first.

<Morokiane> you go fishing for couches?  that's gotta suck
<Khe> you're telling me
<Khe> only got two catches last month
<Khe> had to throw the other one back, too small
<Morokiane> damn...bad day
<Khe> they bag you if you keep loveseats
<Morokiane> figures they wouldn't let you have the best
<Khe> cause then they can't go upsteam and spawn
* Morokiane makes note not to couch fish in Cali
<Khe> and you fsck with the population for next season

<ctrlbreak> i went to Coles to get cigarettes
<ctrlbreak> but forgot what i went there for
<ctrlbreak> and came home with cordial and milk
<ctrlbreak> instead
<ctrlbreak> i feel ripped off

<Vexer`> i'm arabic / muslim
<Traktopel> im more muslim than you
<Vexer`> you are?
<Vexer`> YOU TERRORIST!

* Potatocake wonders why the fuck he is listening to DDR songs
<cbf> double data rate is a band now?
<Potatocake> Dance Dance Revolution :P

<RetardedCrow> Crap, I put the head phones in, and I here
"Anal beads, whatever. Now you can get realistic animal
genitals. How bout a kangaroo penis?"

<notaku> why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would
eat?
<asiago> notaku, so you can cook slabs of concrete
<asiago> don't worry, as your toaster ages that setting will
barely brown the bread

<SO|Rancor> go use one of them stupid translators
<SO|Rancor> i used one once for spanish
class...............and the teacher almost got me kicked out
of school for accidentally saying your a fat old man who loves
cock
<SO|Rancor> but the sentence in english was the man owned some
chickens:-/

<MindGamez> omg that commercial would have been so funny if
the little girl had asked santa for a 7 and a quarter inch
penis instead of a stereo system or whatever

* Joins: Ramza (spoon@h24-85-88-13.wp.shawcable.net)
<Ramza> jhzsdkjdsf
* Parts: Ramza (spoon@h24-85-88-13.wp.shawcable.net)
<Temujin> Why does he keep doing that...
<DopeHat> He's on crack.
<Temujin> ......
<Temujin> Canadians can't afford crack.
<Temujin> They smoke Clorox.

<DiskSpeed> my friend and I were talking and we thought it
would be cool if instead of using transistors, processor
manufacturers just shrank little sweatshop workers and made
them hold hands and the electric shock would go through them
<DiskSpeed> and they would be in a maze and change whos hand
they were holding for different things
<DiskSpeed> and the cache with the processor is really meth
that is constantly fed to these miniature workers to keep them
quick

<Janemba  its all the wang size moshun
<andriod  anyone watch Buffy the vampire slayer
<MoShun  you wang your dad?
<Janemba  i have before
<Janemba  but not often
<Janemba  no no

<whirlygig> Oh I know a lot of boys don't know how to aim.
<Deviation> i dont even bother trying anymore
<Deviation> ive converted into a sitter

<P33R\> I suppose you could stand on your hands and take a
beer bong in the ass
<pagan> are you talking form experience ?
<P33R\> yeah

<Sirea> I want a daughter who has a tentacle fetish
<Sirea> I also want to be able to download new fetishes to her
brain on the fly

<My`Albanian`Ass> FUCK!!!! MY MUM BUSTED ME LOOKING AT THE
GOATSE GUY!
<CoMPLeX> and u were looking at it becoz....
<My`Albanian`Ass> leave me alone, my mum's looking at me
funny, brb talking.

<SiNN3R> %%  %%%%%%
<SiNN3R> %%  %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%%%%%
<SiNN3R>     %%  %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%  %%
<Triffix> heh, that's nice.
<noss> how cute.
<noss> now my mind is all converted and i feel that jews
should gassed to death.

<Ahriman> !google Killing children for the benefit of pig
farmers
<BuffyBot> GOOGLE : Canadian Coalition for Green Health Care (
http://www.greenhealthcare.ca/workshop22-09-00.htm )

<mikebwork> but, lets say she asked me.. "do you ever have
fantasies about
girls that are petit"
<mikebwork> id' have to answer..
<mikebwork> "on occasion, yes. but not because they are
petit."
<sh-> i'd say something like "yes, but occasionally i
fantasize about having
sex with a horse, while a young mexican boy takes
pictures, so it's
nothing you have to be insecure about"
<sh-> but not everyone is as suave as me

<TrueBlue> Little Timmy was a chemist, Little Timmy is no
more, 'cause what Little Timmy thought was H20, was really
H2S04.

(timmo) #33375 +(-61)- [X]
(timmo) <jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
(timmo) <jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
(timmo) classic jestuh quote
(timmo) how can that be -61
[pHluid] Dunno, they must've thought it was a nigger joke.

<Trimangle> ahg, my gf tried to kiss me after giving me head,
I just pretended to be overcome with a sudden coughing fit and
asked for a glass of water, then I took a sip, and gave the
rest to her.
<Trimangle> it was subtle
<MikeyPain> heh
<MikeyPain> I woulda handed her some mouthwash and a
toothbrush
<Trimangle> I was thinking of just hitting her on the nose
with a rolled up newspaper

<PACHUKA> dude, this chick is so fat, "ribbed for her
pleasure" means masturbating with a waffle

<DAnuba> omfg
<DAnuba> gay pride just came to my house
<C-rEs> ?
<DAnuba> and asked us to join their cause
<C-rEs> haha
<DAnuba> well
<DAnuba> i told them to fuck off
<DAnuba> they called me a fag basher
*later*
<DAnuba> i'm going to a weight lifting convention tomorrow
<C-rEs> heh
<C-rEs> so you did talk to the gay pride guys!

<droptone> the only afterlife is if a necrophilac gets ahold
of you

<cbf> *dances* My nerdiness is now complete, I just said
"rofl" in real life.
<smega84> cbf did u actually say rofl or role on floor
laughing?
<cbf> [smega84]: "rofl"
<smega84> cbf AWESOME
<smega84> ur transfer is COMPLETE :)

<NinjaStu> oh fuckies
<NinjaStu> 2am
<NinjaStu> and such a good book
<NinjaStu> THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS ME!
<NinjaStu> OH MY TORTURED SOUL!
<NinjaStu> OH DAMN I"M OUT OF MASCARA
<NinjaStu> AND MY TESTICLES ITCH
<Hiryuu> XD
<NinjaStu> that was my impression of a Hot Topic employee
<NinjaStu> thank you thank you
<NinjaStu> i'll be here all week

<RushMore> she couldnt stay away from my animal magnitsm
<RushMore> or is it my immense gravometric field
<issuez> no thats me
<issuez> shes in my time zone
<issuez> im fat
<issuez> it all revolves around me

Magical^^:  man i can think of a thosuand ways to get laid,
and none of them aint working tonight
moses1:  well since all the ideas involve you , im not
suprised

<Potatocake> The goatse guy would be good at shoplifting.

[00:00] * Invi20 is now known as Invi21

<timer> my penis has a linux distribution on it
<defz> minix?

<waffle> Jon: promise us all you will never have children
<waffle> for the good of mankind
<Ed> He doesn't have to promise!
<Phyresis> I don't plan on reproducing
<Phyresis> but I'm going to mold humanity to the way I see fit
<Phyresis> I'm sick of ignorant fuckers running amok
<Phyresis> we will have enlightenment or extinction
<Phyresis> take your pick
<Ed> So are you like, Asian Jesus or someshit?

<Ed> Noah's Ark, bah.
<Ed> <GOD> DUDE, YOU HAVE TO LIKE... GET A BUNCH OF ANIMALS
AND SHIT. ALL OF THEM.
<crunchyfish> <God> Gotta catch 'em all!

<shadow> I love compact cars. They're small and discreet...
kind of like tampons.
<Squirl> exactly
<Squirl> and when youre done you just flush them

<Mr`K> When people find out you play video games, they think..
like..
<Mr`K> You play EVERY video game
<nzc> dont you?
<Mr`K> "Oh, I got this game, I can't get past this part, what
do I do?"
<Mr`K> And it's like Barbie's Fashion Designer

<fahd> anyone want to volunteer with me at the retirement home
<d3> hell no fahd
<d3> have fun cleaning up 93 year old feces
<fahd> no
<fahd> just to talk to them
<fahd> entertain them
<fahd> and maybe get laid

<armyopsfufu> shoplifting is a victimless crime, like PUNCHING
SOMEONE IN THE DARK
<DrivingZucchini> or jacking off into a birdbath

<Shaka|HeatingUpSomeSaki> child. i dont care if you are a guy.
you can show me what it means to be a man anytime

<Hat> What is seven Q plus three Q?
<Khryptonite> 10q
<Hat> You're welcome.
<Khryptonite> Huh?
<Hat> haha
<Khryptonite> WHAT!?!! stop laughing at me all the time
<Hat> 10Q, when spoken phoenetically, sounds like "thank you".
<Khryptonite> huh?
<Khryptonite> TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS
<Khryptonite> HAT, TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<dustin> i'm hung like a zombie process

<dustin> you ever masturbated on a washer when it was on spin
cycle ?
<dustin> it's the best
<Sh3lby> if u say  so
<dustin> just make sure it's not a public washing place
<dustin> they don't take kindly to things like that

<Hat> How many seconds are there in a year?
<sirus> 2
<Hat> No.
<sirus> 7?
<Hat> That's not even an educated guess...
<sirus> i know
<sirus> im being stupid on purpose
<Hat> It's hard to tell.

* LordMadOne dreams of his soon to be girl
<eMEraLdwPn> you talked to her at all recently?
<LordMadOne> no :(
<eMEraLdwPn> call her
<LordMadOne> I got a poem for her too
<LordMadOne> I have no phone
<eMEraLdwPn> well that sucks..
<eMEraLdwPn> get arrested and make her your one phone call!
<eMEraLdwPn> now that's romance!

<Hat> Windows XP isn't that bad, foO.
<Hat> At least it's better than fucking ME.
<Hat> Wait, I think I saw that on bash.org.
<Hat> aggggrggrgrh, I DID see it!
<Hat> Man, I'm fucking pathetic.  I have IRC quotes in my
subconscious.
<foO> the funny thing about it is that you actually have a
girlfriend that puts out, yet you still irc
<Hat> I'm hideous! Don't look at me!

<Daimyou> SUPERMARKET!
* Daimyou starts rapping
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> YOU HAVE TEH CHEESE AND TEH VEGGIEZ
<Daimyou> AND TEH TROUTTTTT
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> YAYAY I RIDE AROUND IN TEH SHOOPPPPPING KAAAARTS
<Daimyou> AND THEN I GO THROUGH THE TAAAAAAYKEOUT
<Daimyou> I MEAN CASHIER
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> BUT THEN I DON'T HAVE TEH MONEYZZZZ
<Daimyou> SO MY MOM PAAAAAYS FORRRRRR ITTTTT
<Daimyou> SUPAH MARKEEEEEET!!!!111111
<Daimyou> THE ENDZ0RZ

<Medic_> wow.. this is new. http://www.christianlesbians.com/
<mfreeck> damn, no pictures.
<Medic_> they're christans.. they're modest.
<Medic_> and they're probably ugly. :)

<VirtualServ> -±- CurrentSong: Linkin Park - A Place For My
Head -±-
<[0G]ftwilli> told you Linkin Park was talking about sex the
whole time...