<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced
              the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
              <JonJonB> Let's see the results...
              <JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
              <JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er --
              got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They
              snapped me wang in half an' everything
              <JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really
              looking forward to.
              <JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry
              Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes.
              It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her
              first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of
              willow. Nice wang for charm work."
              <JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany
              wang. Eleven inches. "
              <JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his
              fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it
              swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and
              gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing
              dancing spots of light on to the walls
              <JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed
              Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
              <JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but
              even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up
              its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when
              he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's
              nostrils.
              <JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's
              nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
              <JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang,
              and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he
              whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
              <JonJonB> Ok
              <JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
              <JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a
              fool of us all
              <JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly,
              and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried
              to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept
              intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother
              again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her
              again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
              <melusine > O_______O
              <JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted
              from the end of his wang
              <JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded
              the silvery substance with its tip.
              <JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds
              they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like
              fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip
              on his raised wang.