<Sinner_> i know someone who fucked a turkey once
<gjvc> i wake up early
<gjvc> check my email
<Murex> i dont see how i could actually fit my average cock
into a chicken
<Sinner_> he was mad at his family
<gjvc> and see this shit
<Sinner_> and he fucked the thanksgiving turkey
<lazydog> bhahah
<gjvc> ahahahaha
<Murex> hahhahaa
<gjvc> lord

<Sinner> how do you stop a cat from trying to fuck your other
cats
<gjvc> get in there first

«+ Ryutaro » has anyone ever dreamt that they were food that
was being eaten?
«+ Ryutaro » I cant find anyone else thats had a dream
«+ Ryutaro » I was mashed potatoes once
«+ Ryutaro » I felt like little bits of me were being
swallowed and stuff, it was weird
«+ Ryutaro » then a week later I was jello
«+ Ryutaro » but nobody ate me
«+ Ryutaro » I just stood around jiggling
«+ Ryutaro » this was when I did drugs, lol

<oogie> I wonder would oral sex would feel like from one of
those african women with the big plate in their lower lip
<oogie> you could have a little tray to rest your nuts on on
her lower lip

<aussie> whats wrong with racial profiling?
<Jake> Absolutely nothing, as long as it's unbiased.
<The_Roach> That's a contradiction in terms.
<JD> I've never been profiled so, I would say nothing

<Goku> :O
<kepler> hold that face goku
*kepler unzips
*aegis runs away

<Spooky> So I'm arguing with this guy about Starwars
<Spooky> which I hate
<Spooky> And he's like: " I hated episode 1 cause jar jar was
stupid"
<Spooky> and I said that Jar jar was about as stupid as ewoks
<Spooky> and he got all idignant and said ewoks were cool
<Spooky> WTF IS WRONG WITH STAR WARS FANS

<Spooky> What agitates your grotesquely large noggin?
<Alexander> Human EXISTANCE
<Spooky> Righto...only that?
<Spooky> I accepted their powerful funk of stupid long
ago...only not really.
<Spooky> I can't go to a mall when it's busy or I start
shaking.
<Spooky> Shaking (read: Killing)
<Alexander> yeah I know that shaking/maiming feeling

<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more
constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed
fatguys in scrabble

<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count

<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee.
with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's

<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know
why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something
stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up,
the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!

(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh..
ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!

* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very
frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my
ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar

<Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios
shirt on.
<Psifire> And something occured to me.
<Vykuzich> pants?

<MisterQ> I found a way you can call people for free while on
the internet
<shilantra> oh really
<Republica> It's called "Your Neighbor's Phone"

<Guilty> Now I see that your Utopia is more of a Fruitopia

<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?
" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the
Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm
hoping it's a coffee table."

<DrWoody> i do'nt belkivein drinkng

<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch
it twice tho

<cool__G> I can define 1/0
<illusionz> liar
<BeZoAR> thats like trying to define illusionz sexuality

<FireMoth> Tat: what were your grades like in the first
semester?
<tatsumizzz> Like, low.
<tatsumizzz> I suppose the fact that I told my English teacher
I had an erection one time didn't help.
<Ear> Yeah. You forgot to raise your hand.

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for
me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who
doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

* Praetor takes a piss right in the middle of the channel
* andy slashes Prae's penis off.
<andy> That takes better vision than you might think.

<AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
<AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
<AK[coding]> But in a few months...
<AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will
be showing up in your poor terminal.

<Ron> I am from the land where we do not speak english, I am
sorry for this minor setback

*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was
donated.  by the file fairy.  I put a blank CD under my
pillow..."'

<JFelix> So they're fags but you still want them to suck your
cock? You fag.
<Zoglog> what can I say
<Zoglog> beggers cant be choosers
<JFelix> Okay, you have a point.
<Zoglog> BUT THATS NOT THE POINT

<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college
students fail so much

tatsumio: itd be pretty neat to have a vagina somehwere on my
body that I could have sex with
Oogy Boots: :O
tatsumio: and the vagina got the full orgasmic effects too
tatsumio: imagine.
Oogy Boots: and you thought I was a freak!
tatsumio: double orgasm
CyAteon: if it was on his arm or something would be really
weird.
CyAteon: not only would you be having sex with your arm
CyAteon: but your arm would orgasm
Oogy Boots: LOL
CyAteon: unf unf unf unf ARGGGGGGHARARHGA <arm cramps up>

<noj> i hate when my wang pokes out the bottom of my jeans

<infin-01> sorry, you don't qualify for 31337 status, only
31336 status.

<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you

<offwYtE> noWay man, tha tis a wikked statement
<offwYtE> well i thought it was
<offwYtE> maybe not sure what it means now

<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*

<Focks> "Can I have a fag?" "You're a fag" "I mean a
cigeratte, mate" "I'm not your mate, you fag!"

<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or
something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better
than old ones.

<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if
my policy covers gangland shootouts."

<CountZer0> but where is the recycle bin in dos?

<+shagman> man, my ice water tastes like shit this morning
<+SuperGayHomo> well don't get it out of the toilet bowl
<@shagman> I wonder if it's my ice cubes
<@shagman> I'm gonna try the ones from the other tray
<@shagman> ahhhhh, much better
<@SuperGayHomo> those ones came from the tank

<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
<AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
<AlmtyBob> and back in the days
<AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can
run
<AlmtyBob> and they would
<AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad
lost his legs in a construction accident'
<AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the
best reactions from people
<AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
<AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a
supervisor
<AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to
go up to this chick and ask the same thing
<AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few
years back
<AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
<AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there

<brad-> I wish excite personals were still easy to look
through to bag on people with.
<brad-> And find hot dates.
<LkTruth1> brad- wants to find a mother suitable for his
daughter.
<LkTruth1> Or a large man.
<brad-> A little girl suitable to make another.

<Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks
<Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks.
<Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches,
the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks

<Ramen> When my penis grows in size at the site of a naked
male, then I'll believe I'm gay.

<Carplos-Duck> You just killed 100 innocent civilians, how do
you feel?
<Pedro> patriotic

<Zeddicus> i like Dungeon Seige, but its not something that
hooks me like a good FPS does, or a good RTS
<agentM> i like dating games
<Zeddicus> i dont
<Zeddicus> i always lose

<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus
is burning *sitting down carefully*

<kidpiglet> is there such a thing as putting a "hit" on a dog
<kidpiglet> if so let me know whos avalible to do a "hit"
<Ph4nt0m> marinate a steak in antifreeze
<kidpiglet> yeah with my luck my hubby would go and cook it
for himself
<Ph4nt0m> would that be all bad? :)

<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam
<highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to
delete
<highdrow> ;

<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that
want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders